November 20th

Mina taps the glass above the expensive rings on display. She's been looking at the engagement rings for about thirty minutes now (or more). 

"You know if there isn't a ring that captures your interest then we should go elsewhere.", Sana said. She's been really patient with her best friend but this jewelry store is the fifth one they've been to today and Mina hasn't found the perfect ring. Sana knows that if they'll stay for another thirty minutes inside the store, she'll get sick of seeing rings. 

Mina sighed, "I'm sorry. I just want the perfect ring, you know?"

The salesperson already left Mina and Sana ten minutes ago because Mina said that she'll call them when she finds the ring that she wants. 

"You know what? Maybe we should call it a day. I'll help you find a ring again tomorrow."

Mina nodded, "Okay. Thank you."

In all honesty, Mina's more nervous than excited about finding the perfect ring. Nervous because what if the ring she ends up picking won't be the perfect ring for Nayeon; nervous because there's a tiny voice inside her head saying all the negative things; nervous because they haven't talked about marriage yet, but excited because she really wants to spend her life with Nayeon.

After days- weeks- of searching for the perfect engagement ring– online and in actual stores– Mina finally found one that made her feel like it was the one. 

 

•ᴗ•Fin

 

December 21st

"Are you going to the party on Friday?, Sana asked. "The Christmas eve eve party at Momo’s."

Mina shook her head, "I'm planning on asking Nayeon on the 23rd, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!", Sana exclaimed, she was excited for her best friend. "That's great. After proposing, maybe you and Nayeon could go to the party and then all of us can celebrate." 

"That sounds like a plan.", Mina nodded. "I'll take note of that."

Sana was looking at the clothes on the rack. "Do you think Dahyun will like this?", she asked as she took a piece of clothing that caught her eye.

"As a Christmas present?", Mina asked, which earned a nod. "You can do better than that but I do think she'll like that."

Sana nodded as she continued browsing clothes, "What are your plans for the 24th and the 25th, by the way?"

"You do not pay attention to what I say, do you?", Mina rolled her eyes. "We're going to my parents on the 24th and we'll stay there until the 28th. We're going to her parents after."

Sana smiled, "I'm happy for you, really. I've always known that you two will get married someday. Sometimes I can't believe that it's been so many years since you two started dating."

"Thanks.", Mina smiled– her usual smile when she's genuinely happy. "Yeah, I too sometimes can't believe that we've already celebrated our 7th anniversary earlier this year."

 

•ᴗ•

 

December 23rd

Mina walked towards Momo's house. As soon as she opened the door, she was welcomed with live music and people having the best time of their lives. A perfect contrast to what she's currently feeling. She sighed as she walked around to look for her friends. Failing to see any of her friends, she decided to head to the kitchen and get a drink.

"There's the newly engaged!", Sana shouted when she saw her best friend in the kitchen with a drink in hand.

Their friends, who magically appeared inside the kitchen, clapped and cheered for Mina. "Where's your fiancée?", Momo asked.

Okay, hearing that made Mina feel worse. "She said no.", Mina answered before chugging the drink she was holding.

Her friends exchanged looks before looking at her with worried eyes. In all honesty, Mina didn't need that. She didn't need people to pity her. Seeing her friends look at her the way they're looking at her now makes her feel worse than how she's feeling.

"I'm sorry.", Sana was the one who spoke first. The rest followed and comforted her.

Mina shrugged, "It can't be helped, I guess."

"I know a place.", Momo said, which earned a raised eyebrow from Mina. "I know this is my party and my house but I know a place where it'll be only us friends."

They went inside Momo's van and headed to where Momo wanted to go. It was silent, too deafening for Mina. (Un)Fortunately, Jeongyeon, who was sitting in the shotgun seat, the radio.

 

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

 

Mina saw everyone inside the van freeze and she saw Jeongyeon was about to change the station. "It's fine.", Mina said. "You don't have to change it. It's fine." 

Jeongyeon hesitatingly nodded.

Mina knows it was a lie. She knows her friends know it too. It wasn't fine. The song is making her feel more hurt. Not to mention that Nayeon ing loves Taylor Swift.

 

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

My picture in your wallet

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

Champagne problems

 

Mina took Nayeon to their favorite restaurant. She knows that taking Nayeon somewhere too fancy would be suspicious since there's no occasion. Mina wanted their date to be as normal as possible so that Nayeon wouldn't expect a proposal.

Mina already had everything planned, already talked to the restaurant staff, and walked them through her proposal plan. But she was still nervous as hell.

From time to time, Mina would lowkey put her hand to where the ring was located, the inside pocket of her coat.

They ordered food and talked about anything and everything. Mina was happy with how things are going but she was not going to deny that she was nervous.

After eating, Mina asked Nayeon to go to the terrace, where the night sky and city lights were visible. Nayeon nodded and they headed there, admiring the view.

"The stars are beautiful.", Nayeon said.

Mina nodded, "It's a perfect night. You, me, under millions of stars."

Nayeon smiled.

 

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

 

"We're here.", Momo said, which broke Mina's thoughts.

Mina was thankful that they arrived at their destination because remembering her failed proposal that happened a few hours ago is so ing painful.

Mina can't help but smile when she realizes where they went. It was Momo's condo unit that they often went to when they were in college. This place holds so many memories for all of them. This is where they would go whenever they needed a breather. A place where they would get drunk without needing to worry about how to get home.

They went to the living room and sat on the floor with alcohol and snacks on the table. 

"Champagne?", Jeongyeon asked, which resulted in her getting elbowed by Sana.

It was a reference to Taylor Swift's Champagne Problem that was playing inside the van earlier. Mina chuckled, " you."

"How about wine?", Momo asked.

"Or tequila?", Sana added. "Margarita?"

Jeongyeon laughed, "Mojito with lime?"

"Sweet mimosa or piña colada?", Jihyo chuckled.

"You four are so ing annoying.", Mina smiled while shaking her head.

They started drinking alcohol with Momo playing her so-called Playlist for a Brokenheart. Mina suggested that playlist because according to her, she wanted to feel the pain.

It wasn’t surprising for Champagne Problems to play. Mina chuckled bitterly, this song will be the death of her.

 

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

 

"You make everything easier for me, Nayeon.", Mina began. "You turn my awful days into bearable days. I know sometimes I'm hard to handle but you always stay. You make me the happiest, babe. I want to spend my whole life with you, waking up and sleeping next to you, laughing with you, crying with you, I want to be with you regardless of what's happening.", she added as she reached inside her coat's pocket before kneeling down on one knee. "Nayeon Im, the love of my life, will you marry me?"

Nayeon widened her eyes as she covered , tears were already pooling in her eyes. "Mina…"

Mina bit her lip, her hands were shaking as she waited for Nayeon's answer. Her heart was beating faster than she expected. Kneeling there felt like years for Mina.

"I- Mina, I'm sorry.", Nayeon said as tears started falling from her eyes. "No.", she shook her head.

Mina's whole world started crumbling as her heart was shattering. She stayed there glued to her spot, still kneeling.

"I'm sorry.", Nayeon kept saying.

It doesn't lessen the pain. In fact, the more Nayeon kept saying sorry, the more painful it was. "I– Wha–", Mina can't even form a proper sentence.

"I'm so sorry.", Nayeon said again as she tried pulling Mina up to stand.

 

"This song will be stuck in my head for a long time.", Mina chuckled bitterly before taking a shot of tequila.

Sana looked at her best friend, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I really thought she was the one for me, you know?", Mina bit her lip to prevent herself from getting choked up. "I thought we were on the same page."

"Did she say the reason why she said no?", Sana carefully asked.

"That's the saddest part.", Mina answered.

 

And I couldn't give a reason

Champagne problems

 

Nayeon kept crying and saying sorry before she left. Mina was left alone inside the restaurant. She felt her phone vibrate inside her pocket. It took Mina several minutes before having the energy to check her phone.

 

Babe

I'm sorry, Mina.

 

Baby 

Can I know why?

 

Babe

You deserve better

 

Baby

Nayeon, that isn't exactly a reason

You can be honest

 

Babe

I'm sorry

 

"She didn't say a reason. She just kept saying she was sorry. Like what the lyrics said, Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'til someone's on their knees and asks you", Mina added. "This is the tiest holiday ever.", she said before taking another shot.

 

•ᴗ•

 

December 24th 

Mina woke up with a throbbing headache and a backache. Falling asleep on the couch with Sana and Jihyo was not that comfortable unlike when they were cuddling before falling asleep. How the three of them managed to stay asleep on the couch was a mystery.

"Oh, you're awake.", Momo walked past. "I charged your phone.", she added as she handed Mina's phone.

"Thanks.", she said before walking towards the bathroom to freshen up. She saw that Nayeon had multiple messages. 

 

Babe

Where are you?

 

Babe

Mina?

 

Babe

Can you at least tell me where you are?

I'm worried

 

Babe

We need to talk

 

Babe

I'll wait for you at the apartment

 

Mina splashed water on her face before staring at herself in the mirror. She looks like but that's to be expected from someone who got rejected. She sighed before getting a spare toothbrush.

"I'm gonna go.", Mina said when she walked back to the living room where her friends were. "Tell them I'll text them later.", she added.

Momo nodded, "Take care of yourself. We're here if you need us." 

 

•ᴗ•

 

Mina stared at the door. I’ll wait for you at the apartment. She remembered Nayeon’s last text message. How did their place become just an apartment? She doesn't even know and she’s afraid to know. Home. This place used to be home to both of them. She sighed before opening the door.

A stab in the chest. That’s what Mina felt as soon as she entered. Mina saw Nayeon in the living room, sleeping with boxes all over the place. 

When Nayeon left Mina last night at the restaurant, she went directly to her best friend, Jisoo. She cried her heart out before she went back to the apartment to pack her things. Nayeon knows that she needs to leave the apartment soon so that she won’t make things harder for Mina.

Nayeon slowly opened her eyes when she heard the door open. There she sees Mina, who looks devastated thanks to her. 

“Tadaima.”, Mina muttered.

Nayeon sat up, she knew they had to talk as soon as possible. “Mina, about last night, I-”

“All I need is a reason, Nayeon.”

Nayeon took a deep breath, she wasn’t really able to sleep because she had been thinking of what to tell Mina. “Marriage isn’t something I want. I do not see myself getting married.”

Seven years, Mina thought. 

“Mina, I never wanted to get married, that's why I never brought it up.”

They were together for seven years.

“I guess we weren’t just meant to be. Mina, you deserve someone who wants the same thing as you. You’ll find someone who’s going to think about marriage and get married to you.”

In those seven years, did Nayeon never think about marrying her?, another thought.

“I’m sorry.”, Nayeon sobbed. “I’m really sorry.”

Mina didn’t even realize that tears were already rolling down her face. 

“I’m packing my things since this is your apartment. I don’t want to trouble you by staying here longer.”, Nayeon said as she wiped her tears. “I’ll be gone before you’re back from your trip.”

 

•ᴗ•

 

4 years later

Mina looked at the displayed rings. There was a lot to choose from, and she wanted to complain but she remembers how her best friend was patient with her. 

"I know you're already bored but you're required to stay and help me pick a ring.", Sana said as she browsed for the perfect engagement ring.

Mina kept shut because Sana's right.

"I'm here to pick up a ring."

Mina froze on her spot. She knows that voice even though it's been years since the last time they talked.

"Can I get your name, ma'am?", the salesperson asked.

"Nayeon Im."

Sana looked warily at her best friend. "We can leave.", she whispered.

Mina shook her head, "It's okay."

Mina took a deep breath before looking towards her ex. "Nayeon.", she called.

Nayeon was surprised to see Mina. She remembers how they broke up, how Mina proposed to her. She remembers it. "Mina."

And as if on cue, the salesperson called Nayeon and handed her a velvet box. "Here’s the engagement ring you pre-ordered, Ma'am."

Mina looked at the ring before looking back at Nayeon. "You're getting married?", she accidentally blurted out.

Nayeon bit her lip as she nodded. "Proposing, actually."

"It was nice seeing you again, Nayeon.", Sana said. "Mina and I will take our leave now. We still need to find me an engagement ring.", she added before dragging Mina out of the jewelry shop.

When they got inside Sana's car, Mina wasn't able to hold back her tears. "The morning after I proposed to her, she told me that marriage isn't something she wanted."

Sana patted her best friend's back. It's been four long years but she knows that Mina's still hurt. It took a toll on her best friend.

"It hurts, still. Especially now that I know that she's planning on getting married.", Mina confessed. "I saw a future with her but she didn't see herself getting married to me."

Sana kept rubbing Mina’s back, she knows that Mina needs to let all her feelings go. Mina tried to distract herself for four years, avoiding talking about Nayeon. 

"She said we wanted different things; I wanted to get married and she has no plans on getting married. I should've known that she meant she has no plan on marrying me and not that she has no plans on getting married at all.", Mina said as she fiddled with her hands.

“Have you watched 500 Days of Summer?”, Sana suddenly asked.

Mina nodded, “It was one of Nayeon’s go-to movies to watch.”

“Summer did not end up with Tom, right?”, Sana asked, which earned a nod. “Summer did not want to be anyone’s girlfriend but she got married. Tom did not understand why Summer got married and Summer said something like she felt sure, she felt something that she did not feel with Tom. Nayeon was probably looking for something and maybe she didn’t see that something in you. I’m not saying that it’s a you problem.”

“But we were together for seven years. She had seven years to tell me if I wasn’t enough for her but why didn’t she say anything? You know the song My Happy Ending? Maybe all those times, she was pretending so much for my happy ending. ””

“I cannot answer that.”, Sana answered truthfully. She still hates how Nayeon broke her friend but she also knows that a relationship is between two people and in order for it to work, both need to make efforts. Sana knows she doesn’t have to blame Nayeon for everything for Mina to move on. “People change and feelings fade, Mina. Nayeon saying no to you doesn’t mean that she never loved you in those seven years.”

Mina nodded, “There’s just still a lot of questions in my head and I’m starting to think that I will never get answers.”

Sana sighed as she continued to pat Mina’s back, “Sometimes you just really need to accept how things turned out. You didn’t anticipate what happened four years ago. That's why the loss hit you so hard. And you always go back to reminiscing your happy memories with Nayeon. But, Mina, let’s be honest, your relationship with Nayeon wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Maybe there were signs that you kept brushing off.”

“You’re right. I guess I was just really hoping that she’s the one because of how long we were together.”

Sana grabbed Mina’s hand, “Here’s what you have to do. Throw everything Nayeon related that you still have inside your apartment. That’s one step closer to moving on.”

“I’m actually considering selling the apartment. The whole apartment just reminds me of her and it’s kind of suffocating.”

After what felt like an hour of talking about Mina’s feelings, the two decided to call it a day. Mina told Sana that she’ll start decluttering her apartment and the latter offered to help. Mina rejected Sana’s offer because she knows she’ll ugly cry again and Sana is a hundred percent sick and tired of seeing her in that state.

Mina started decluttering inside their old room. The room didn’t change much since the last time Nayeon was there, Mina never bothered removing stuff in the room because whenever she misses Nayeon, she’d just go to the room and cry herself to sleep. "Four years ago I thought it was the crappiest holiday for me. Who knew that this holiday would be worse?", Mina said as she stared at the engagement ring she bought four years ago that was on the bedside table. 

After a few minutes of staring at the ring and reliving the moment of her failed proposal, Mina stood up and walked towards the waste bin inside the room. "I should've done this sooner.", she said before finally letting go of the ring.

Mina scanned her bedroom and saw bits and pieces of Nayeon. "I guess four years is enough.", she said before walking towards the photo of her and Nayeon on the desk.

Mina grabbed the photo to look at it. It was their first picture together– taken during their first-ever date. Tears started falling so Mina decided to close her eyes and take a deep breath. "I'm going to move forward this time for sure.", she said as she took a box to put all the things that reminded her of her ex.

Moving on isn't a quick process for everyone and there's no need to rush it. Everyone has their own ways of moving forward while others choose to just stay and endure the pain. Mina did the latter for four years but now she's ready to move forward no matter how painful it is because she now realized that holding on to something non-existent is more painful than actually moving on.

 

•ᴗ•

 

A month later

Sana enters Mina’s apartment and she’s surprised to see boxes everywhere. Truth be told, she actually doubted that Mina was going to be able to throw away everything that Nayeon gave her.

“Do you need help in moving to your new place?”, Sana asked.

Mina shook her head, “Don’t worry, I got it. I’m not bringing a lot of stuff to my new place. I’ll be donating most of the boxes here. I didn’t realize I had so much stuff that I don’t even use.”

Sana left Mina after catching up for a few hours. She just wanted to check how Mina was doing and she was happy and proud to know that her best friend is finally doing something to move forward.

Mina drove to her new apartment to move some of her stuff. She took out the boxes inside her car and was about to carry three stacks of boxes when someone approached her.

“Hey, do you need help?”, a woman taller than her asked.

Mina nodded, “Yeah. I’m moving in at M324.”

“Oh!”, the woman exclaimed. “I live across that unit. Let me help you carry your stuff.”

Mina smiled as she handed one of the boxes to the other woman. She realized that she has been missing out for four years. She was never one to socialize but meeting new people is something that she missed.

The other girl was telling stories about the people who live in the apartment and she was giving tips on how to get close to their neighbors. 

When they got inside Mina’s apartment, the girl scanned the place. “Wow. This place looks different. Good different though.”

Mina chuckled, “Yeah, I had my friend fix several things.”

The girl smiled, “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Mina. Mina Myoi. And you are?”

Mina thinks this is the start of her new life. She was four years too late to start again but she’s here now and she thinks that this isn't bad after all.