prologue

when the taxi dropped me in front of my mom's house in the suburbs, i realised i missed the old trees growing up in front of the porch, the pink windowsills and the nicely groomed flowerbeds. my heart still ached from whom and what i was leaving behind in the city, but rolling my suitcase up the cobblestone path leading to the front door, i felt like stepping into my childhood again. some place cosy. some place safe.

mom was happy to see me, we only talked on the phone while i lived away, and i could see her eyes sparkle both with tears of joy and tears of worry. i kept telling her everything was fine, but my soft lies weren't convincing enough for her to believe.

she had kept my room as it was five years ago, with my flower bedsheets, my boyband posters on the walls, and my tiny study desk crumbling under tons of baking textbooks. from my window, i could see the sun set over the garden and the neighbors' pool. further away, passed the white fence, were the train tracks where me and my friends used to smoke cigarettes in secret on our way back from school.

'sleep tight' mom said. 'you'll tell me everything tomorrow over breakfast'

she left the room and i fell on my bed.

i didn't want to talk about it. i just wished i could forget everything, and just start anew. 

my name is mirae, lee mirae. 25 years old. professionnal baker. and now single. five years ago i left my mom to go live in the c