What exactly caused this feeling? Feeling her head hurt from thinking, Chaewon sighs. She couldn't figure out why she felt like this, she couldn't figure out her own thoughts as it circled around a certain person. Choi Yena, who was older than her by a year, somehow occupied a space in head, although she knows the reason behind this feeling, she would rather push it down than acknowledge such feeling. This feeling made her feel vulnerable, and perhaps it did make things look more colorful but there wasn’t a chance that Chaewon would admit to it. 

She was in disbelief as to what she had felt for Yena. In Chaewon’s defense there was nothing wrong with Yena. Yena is sweet, caring, bubbly, and is even good at whatever she has pursued. There was certainly no way that just by those traits Chaewon would fall for Yena. Resting her head on her table, she lets out a heavy sigh as she knows that she should’ve been studying for her midterms rather than dreading over what she had felt for Yena. “Why am I even thinking about her?” She whispered to herself before getting up and turning off her lamp. “I’m not even close with her, I highly doubt she knows my name.” She started as she walked towards her bed. “Its stupid to think that I would be falling for her just by how she is perceived.” She rationalized, she was trying so hard to push the feeling and idea down as she plopped down her bed. “There’s absolutely no way I could like someone I barely know.” She finished as she covered herself with her blanket and eventually fell asleep.

The next day was worse, a coffee cup that was supposedly on her right hand was now on Yena’s clothes. Chaewon doesn’t even remember what had led to this situation. “I’m sorry.” Chaewon panicked as she looked around to see that people were staring, she felt herself shrink as she went through her bag looking for tissues or something she can use to make sure the coffee doesn’t stain Yena’s clothes. “I’m really sorry.” Her voice shakes as she finally feels the pack of tissue that she had been looking for. Grabbing a handful she folds them and dabs them, not even paying attention to what Yena has been saying. “Hey,” when the words Yena had been trying to say finally registered to Chaewon she looked up to see how close she was to Yena. 

She flinched as she had realized how close she had gotten to Yena due to how much she had panicked. “I’ve been trying to tell you that it’s alright.” Yena smiled softly and there it was again the feeling that bothered Chaewon since yesterday. She felt herself turn even redder than before as she placed down the tissues. “I don’t know what happened,” She panicked once more. “I thought I was holding onto my coffee cup pretty well.” Just as she was about to bow, Yena had stopped her. “You don’t have to bow, at least the coffee wasn’t hot.” Yena jokes, however Chaewon still felt for ruining Yena’s outfit. “But what about your clothes? I ruined your outfit.” Chaewon looked down, she was unable to face Yena who stood in front of her. “Ruined clothes is better than getting a coffee burn, so don’t worry too much Chaewon.” 

Her eyes widened upon hearing her name. “How did you know my name?” Looking up suddenly, she looks at Yena. “It was written in the cup so I’m guessing that was your name.” Yena explains as she lifts up the cup.

‘Oh.’ 

‘But why do I feel disappointed?’

“Oh, right.” She felt embarrassed. She felt as though she had embarrassed herself way too much in just a single day. “But you’re a music major right? You were the one that performed during the freshmen orientation right?” Chaewon was surprised that Yena had remembered. She had tried to remember what had happened that day and that was when she had realized that it was also that time when she had first met Yena. Playing dumb she decides to answer Yena’s question. “Yes, that was me. How did you remember something that happened long ago?” It was her turn to ask questions. “It wasn’t something that happened long ago, it has only been a year.” Yena teased but with Chaewon’s stare she cleared and looked away. “Well I just remembered because I helped with organizing the entire event, I saw your name and that was it.” 

Chaewon didn’t know where she had gotten the courage to even look at Yena in the end. “But a lot of freshmen performed that day. How would you be able to remember me?” Chaewon must’ve gone insane as she questioned Yena. “Oh! Would you look at the time?” She glanced at the time on her phone before slowly walking away. “I better quickly go change clothes or else I’ll be late to class!” Yena excused as she made her way out of the cafe. It was then that Chaewon had realized what had happened. She stood there dumbfounded. What just happened? She didn’t have time to process fully as to what had happened as Yena was already across the street. “God why is my heart beating so fast.” She whispered as she lined up again to order another cup of coffee, hoping this time she wouldn’t drop it on someone.

Ever since the incident at the cafe, she continued to see Yena more often. It wasn’t because she was secretly looking for her obviously, she just somehow appeared in front of her, behind her, beside her or even her peripheral view. It was driving Chaewon insane, things weren’t like this before the coffee incident. It had only been a week since it happened but she couldn’t get her mind off of the fact that Yena remembers her name. Yena remembers that she had performed during the freshmen orientation. Yena remembers her name, and that made Chaewon weak. She didn’t like the feeling though, it felt foreign but comforting in a way. 

From time to time they would do small talks while walking towards Chaewon’s classroom or sometimes while Chaewon heads to the library to study for her upcoming midterms. If given the chance, Yena would sit in front of her and would sometimes just stare while Chaewon studies. This does bother Chaewon but it wasn’t the type of bother that annoyed her, it was the type of bother where she just feels embarrassed as Yena would smile whenever Chaewon would glance at her. They would even message each other through SMS and every time Chaewon does receive a message from Yena she would feel like wanting to jump in excitement but she would often stop herself upon realizing how absurd it was.

This time, Chaewon was alone as she made her way towards the library, Yena had plans so she couldn’t accompany Chaewon, it was fine with Chaewon. “Chaewon!” A voice suddenly called from behind, upon turning around she felt her whole face turn red when she realized who had called her. It was Yena. The person who has been occupying at this point not just Chaewon’s thoughts but also her heart. Although she’s still somewhat in denial that maybe she does like Yena, but if that was the case then maybe that would explain a lot of things. “What do you want?” Chaewon asked as Yena stood in front of her. “Whoa there, did someone ruin your morning? You act like you were the one who was drenched in coffee.” Chaewon’s face was all scrunched up as she tried to defend herself. “That was last week! I didn’t mean to spill some coffee on you!” Yena laughs as she listens to whatever Chaewon has to say. “How about we make it up to each other, I will buy you coffee and you buy me a new top.” She suggested, was this her way of asking Chaewon to hang out with her? “Don’t you think that's unfair? I mean coffee isn’t even that much and how will I know that you won’t pick an expensive brand of clothing?” Chaewon was beyond skeptical as she thought about what Yena could possibly be planning. “Then let me buy you coffee.” Yena replied. “That’s still unfair.” Chaewon argued. “Great, I’ll see you at the same cafe later this evening!” Yena had seemed to pretend that she had failed to hear what Chaewon said as she waved goodbye before walking to the other direction. Chaewon wonders as to how many times she’ll struggle to comprehend Yena and her sudden actions. She feels as though she wasn’t going to get used to this as each approach Yena would do, it’ll forever catch her off-guard.

Upon arriving at the cafe, Chaewon continuously looks at herself through her phone’s camera, making sure that she looked alright. She was worried if maybe she had underdressed or overdressed. It was embarrassing as to how long it took for her to decide what she had to wear. While she continues to look at herself in the mirror she fails to realize that Yena was already in front of her. “Did you wait long?” Yena asks as she opens the door for Chaewon, mumbling a small thank you, she starts looking for any available seats. “I didn’t wait long, don’t worry.” She reassures as she watches Yena letting out a sigh of relief. 

While Yena had lined up to order, Chaewon still couldn’t believe that she was with the person who had been bothering her thoughts. It felt surreal that she was in a cafe with her, how just last week she kept mentioning that there wasn’t a reason for her to like Yena. Looking at Yena, she realizes that Yena had also been looking at her. When both had realized they were caught staring they looked away at the same time with Chaewon being the first one to look at her again. This time Yena was now ordering. Chaewon felt bad that Yena was the one paying for her, especially when she had been the one to spill coffee on Yena’s clothes. “You must be wondering why I randomly invited you out.” Chaewon hadn’t realized that Yena was back with a small machine that would vibrate and make a noise whenever the order was ready. “I feel bad that you’re the one paying for me, especially since I was the one that spilled coffee all over your outfit.” Chaewon mumbled but Yena’s laugh somewhat felt pleasing to Chaewon, how Yena’s eyes sparkled in excitement and curiosity as she continued to stare. “Don’t feel bad just because I bought you coffee, just think about this as me asking you out for some coffee.” Yena explained and it seemed as though Chaewon’s thoughts had malfunctioned as the words ‘asking you out’ spiraled around her head.

“The actual reason why I asked you here is because I want to get to know you.” Yena admitted, her face slightly red as she had offended eye contact. 

And. There. It. Was. Again. 

The same feeling Chaewon felt. Her heartbeat quickening, how her entire face suddenly feels flushed, her thoughts going from one thought to another that it was difficult for her to process whatever would be said to her. “Why do you suddenly want to get to know me?”

“I noticed you since freshman orientation, and well I wanted to approach you ever since then.” Yena explained and suddenly Chaewon forgot how comprehension worked as she didn’t know how to react or how to process that explanation. “But why me?” Chaewon had to ask, just to make sure that she had understood it right. Yena pouts as she looks away. “Just because.” What type of response was that as Chaewon had malfunctioned even more. Yena wanted to get to know her, just because she wanted to. It was as if this was all some dream that her mind had made up to get her to admit that she likes Yena. “There must be another reason, right?” Chaewon asked, surely there must be another reason right? “Well I li-” before Yena could finish her sentence, the machine started beeping indicating that their order was ready. Chaewon cursed at the timing as she watched Yena excuse herself to get their order.

“What is up with me,” Chaewon questioned as she rested her forehead on her palms. “Why am I reacting like this? I wasn’t like this last week.” She mumbled as she tried to calm herself down. “I can’t possibly like h-”

“Are you okay?” Yena had suddenly arrived causing Chaewon to flinch. “Whoa there, it’s just me.” Yena reassured as she handed Chaewon her coffee. “Yeah I’m fine I was just thinking about something.” Chaewon answered before accepting the coffee. “So what was your other reason?” Chaewon asked as she took a sip out of her coffee. “I like you.” Chaewon choked on her coffee the moment those words escaped Yena’s lips. Yena panicked as Chaewon was coughing. “I didn’t mean to drop such information to you and it’s alright with you if you reject me.” Yena apologized. “Why? We don’t even know each other.” 

Yena smiled, “I don’t think you remembered what happened last month, right?” She said, Chaewon tilted her head. What was she talking about? “Do you remember seeing a student who cried inside the dance studio?” Upon recalling Chaewon did remember but what was Yena trying to prove here? “You said to never overwork yourself and if crying will help then cry until your heart feels satisfied. That time, the person you had said those words to were me. Ever since then I’ve been wanting to approach you and thank you because for once I didn’t feel alone.”

This was not how she expected Yena to explain. She had thought that she was going to just mention how she just likes Chaewon based on her talents or looks. Yena liking her because she didn’t feel alone thanks to Chaewon was something she never had expected.

She was once again in disbelief but not in terms of feelings for Yena, but because Yena had felt the same way. 

Chaewon had feared what would've happened if she had allowed herself to feel such emotions towards Yena. However after all those times where they spent time with each other, it was then she realized.

“I like you too, Yena.” She smiles, her cheeks bright red, and her eyes turning into crescents.

And so Chaewon finally admits that she does like Yena, and that she wasn’t actually going insane.