It was painful , I knew it was ending . Have you ever felt lost , without evening understanding why . He was there always ,breathing ,speaking , smileing, but not with me. My insides were turning in to hate, and all I saw were painful memories with him. Memories that were soppouse to be love and happiness, yet all i ever got was the wreched feeling of failure of being a burden, to him. The person I  loved. He went away , He left me empty. 

Trusting is hard , its not meant to be hidden ,you need to share . Even so I was carful not to , careful to seem nice , kind , to seem like I shared the same as anybody. Thats how i manage to have friends, to live normally. That sounds empty , and honestly it was, but the hurt of being betrayed, that scare me. People have many phobias and mine was getting hurt emotionally. Yet even if I was careful, sometimes I still got touch by that horrible feeling. I was cut , slightly though, but never seriously wounded. I could live like that, even if that living was almost like being death.

I met him in the darkness and in the light. He brought joy and pain all at once, he was someone that I could reach, someone that was mine. Yet, you know , happy endings sometimes don't exsit, but its not because destiny , it all us . I bought the ending to this story, I made it happen.

When I first spoke to him, I was calm ,because to me relationships weren't going to be made at that moment, so with that thought I wasn't nevous I didn't expect anything, maybe just a conversation and thats it ,I hope for that.

I went to a coffee place down the street from my apartmeant , everyday at the same time . My life was a routine, a boring one in fact , but a stable thing. I usually did some work on a couple of papers , and order the same order and left. This was not to be change , the cafe was one where people kept to themself , so interuptions were rare, and even if they happen , they quickly were dismiss. Yet with this being a fact, my meeting with him was there . Its funny to think that .

He was new , he was only visiting ,he didn't know where he was and of all the people he could of ask he chose me. Wel now I like to think that he chose me, but in anyones eyes they can clearly see that it was random. He had a boyish face one that seem too innocent , he smile at me and said his name:

"Hello, my name is shin ," he said this like if i couldn't understand. I responed , kind of rude , like if what I was doing was too immportant for him,

" What is it , that you want from me ,shin" I said quickly . I could tell he was surprise to hear me speak korean. I study it in collage , I prefer to not say why.

" um... Do you know where this street is ," he said pointing at a piece of paper with an adress written on it. It was actually close by from the cafe ,but I wanted to get my work done.

" No , I'm sorry," I said this and went back to work. He didn't leave though, for some crazy reason he order coffee. I of course asked him why and all he said was that he liked coffee.

I don't know why I didn't leave, maybe it was my loyaltiy to my routine, but that couldn't be , because when the time came for my usual leave , I stayed. I didn't want to leave and since , I didn't have anything more fun to do ,I stayed. I think now that the real reason for my staying was because , in some level I knew , I didn't like that routine , that boring empty feeling of not having anything to look forward to. So when this man , with the boyish face, sat down and interupted me , I knew that whatever happen , that day was going to be unique and unforgettable. 

I decided to tell him where the street he wanted was , I didn't want him to leave , but I figure that if this was the only reason he was talking to me ,then he should at least know the information he wanted from me originally .

He smiled a wicked smile and said," So you did know.... Thank you."

I was stuck for a moment on what to do, no one had ever smiled at me like he did in that second, well if anyone had it couldn't be compare to his smile. I slowly started to regain my senses and I started to consentrate on my work again. I was a little sad to do this because this meant he would leave , but I quickly told myself it was for the best . I was sure this was an event that wouldn't change anything, but then why did I stay , why did he?

I was startle to hear him say ."Whats your name."

I look up and saw his face so close that I could smell his scent, he clearly didn't understand what personal space meant, but I somehow didn't mind. I also for some reason didn't mind telling him my name and so I said, " ______"

He smiled his wicked smile again and said, " What a pretty name,"

After that he sat back , and study his coffee, I didn't understand him and so with other things I don't understand , I study it. I must have been staring too long because he look straight at me .

Ok so this is the first chapter and I have to say ^-^

I at finishing anything

so be warn

and I finish the first chapter at an odd end

but still its finish.