Sabi ko, naka-move on na ako.
Sabi ko lang naman, it doesn’t necessarily mean na nagawa ko na talaga.
Because how can I move on from the best thing that’s happened to me?

 

How do I move on from you, Yu?
You squeezed your way through my life and you sneaked your way out.
It’s like you were never there.
It’s like we never happened.

Ah, indeed, we never happened.
It was a cowardly decision that you and I both agreed in silence.
Unspoken feelings because can’t bear the weight they hold.
As long as we were both happy.

We were naman, ‘di ba?
Because I thought we were.

 

We even formed a plan, we’re going to enroll in the same university.
I’ll pursue engineering habang ikaw naman ay architecture.
You’re way better in designing kasi and sabi mo pa, para partners tayo even after work.

What happened to that, partner?

 

I hated the thought of going to senior high, who doesn’t?
We were supposed to be in college, if the older generation was able to do. We can too.
So why waste ‘yung two years?

 

But then, I met you.

Your presence kept demanding for my attention.
You were this snobbish and quiet girl sa gilid, pa-mysterious type to everyone…
But you smiled when our eyes caught each other.

You smiled, only for me.

And that's how you squeezed your way into my life, by making me anticipate your next moves.
You never admitted it but I’m sure na sinadya mo na maging curious ako sayo. After all, I am a curious person.
You’d always keep me on my toes.
You’re never an easy woman, lalo na sa suitors mo.
I never thought you were.

 

You knew you won the moment I approached you during our preliminary exam nung second sem.
I couldn’t help but bask in your presence.

I missed the push and pull that we had nung first sem.
The way we stole glances from each other.
You’d sit near me during lunch although we'd never talk.
I’d sometimes invade your personal space kapag p.e. but never actually touch you– I wouldn’t even look at you; I remember you admitting na it made your heart skip a beat the first time.
But then, you decided na it’s better to ignore me when second sem started.
We never really talked about it pero your tactic was really good because I started to want you more.

 

I remember how it went.

 

I cleared my throat, “hey.” I called for your attention.
You were captivating even though you were just looking through the window with your chin resting on your palm.
You slowly turned your attention to me and I swear, your smile that day was a victorious one; I know now because I’ve seen it a lot of times already.
“What’s up?” You asked, trying to look like you were confused when I know for a fact that you weren’t. You expected it. You were waiting for it.
I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling so hard.
I finally heard your voice again.
“Do you mind if I sit next to you?”
I can feel my friends eyeing me.
“I don’t. You know that I’ve been waiting,” was your answer bago mo binalik ang atensyon mo sa labas.

 

It wasn’t eventful.
But it was a start.

 

Bihira pa rin tayo mag-usap noon because I’d always find myself mesmerized by your beauty.
It leaves me speechless, lalo na at malapit na ako sayo.
I’d just snap out of trance kapag tinawag na ako ng friends ko.
Our hands would sometimes brush against each other, perks of having a rectangular table instead na normal chair desks.
I’d be talking to my friends, joking with them but I was very much aware of you.

 

I don’t think, I’ll ever get over you.
And I know that this isn’t good for me, I know– yet my heart can’t let go of the thought of you.
Sometimes, the feeling lingers for a while; the memory of you just never seems to want to let go of me-- not like I want it to.

You literally are my greatest demise.

 

You were never the friendly type.
Hindi ka naman loner but you prefer being alone.
And I’m glad na hinayaan mo ako na samahan ka, ika nga nila, we were alone together.

 

I think, that’s when you started getting out of your shell, at least around me.
Una kasi, presence lang sa atin, sapat na.
But I guess you got tired of waiting for me na gumalaw kaya before second sem ended, you started talking to me.
Proud moment when you first asked me if gusto ko sumama sayo sa coffee shop.
It was a date.

 

Tapos bigla nalang, we're super close na.
I didn’t even notice it until my friends pointed it out.
Na we’re always going out, just us two.
Medyo naging clingy na rin tayo sa isa’t-isa.
I was able to get a glimpse of who Jimin Yu is.

 

Jimin...
She showed me how playful, annoying(ly cute), and talkative she actually is.
She shared her vulnerabilities and insecurities.
She gave me a piece of her as I gave her a piece of me.

 

Grade 12, was the happiest year for me.
We were inseparable.
My friends thought we were dating… but we weren’t.
It was fine though.
We were happy.
It was a little bit confusing because… we’d hold hands while walking.
We’d hug…
We’d cuddle…
We’d kiss… may momol pa.
But we’re just friends?
So, friends with benefits ba ‘yon?

 

But hindi naman kami umabot sa third base or homerun…

 

Genuine friends?

 

It was a little bit confusing kasi we’re not girlfriends.
Pero sabi nga sa kanta ni Ariana, we both don’t want each other to see nobody else.
It should’ve been a red flag for me but I chose not to check the label.
Siya naman eh.
Maybe we’ll get there, someday.

 

Girlfriend, genuine friend, in short, gf.

Same lang naman ang acronym; so I settled with that.

 

My friends did warn me though.

 

I’m smart enough to know what I deserve.
But I’m not strong enough to suppress whatever it was that I’m feeling.
Kahoy lang ako.

 

So, talking about this right now…
She actually did me a favor when she left.
I couldn’t do it so she did it for me.

 

Pero was it really needed?
We were okay.
We’d study in the same university naman, we’d still get to hangout.
We can be busy and alone together ulit.
So, where did it go wrong?

 

Was it when…
No way.
I didn’t say those three words to her.
Pero… natakot ba siya dahil sa sinabi ko nung graduation?

 

“Congrats to us, pup!” Masayang bati niya sa akin after ng ceremony. Mabilis din siyang tumakbo palapit sa akin para yakapin ako.

Hindi kami magkatabi kanina dahil alphabetical ‘yung seating arrangement.
Muntik nga ako makatulog kasi sobrang lamig. Buti nalang at tinadtad niya ako ng message.

“Congrats, pugo!” I hugged her back. “College naman,” mapang-asar kong sabi which made her scoff.

She doesn’t like it kasi hindi na raw kami classmates tapos magpapakilala na naman, akala mo naman talagang nakikipag-usap siya sa iba.
Kahit nga sa friends ko medyo tahimik lang siya.
Hindi naman tipong isang tanong, isang sagot.
Pero she doesn’t talk unless they talk to her first or if she’s looking for me.

“I’m excited,” pag-amin ko.
Nagtataka siyang tumingin sa akin.
“I’m excited kasi I see my future with you na,” I confessed. “A future with Jimin Yu sounds amazing, gusto ko nalang maging sugar baby,” I added as a joke nang mapansin ko na she stiffened.

 

Kaya siguro natahimik siya no’n?
Hindi naman na pala kasi siya kasama sa future ko.

 

Ang galing lang kasi she knows naman na kasama na siya sa plans ko.
She knows kasi we used to talk about our future.
We planned our future together na nga.

Akala ko gusto niya na kasama rin ako sa kanya.
Ano pa ang silbi na partners daw kami mag-review after graduation?
Together sa work then ano? Build ng company?

 

Ano na, Yu?

Masyado mo naman ginalingan mag-drawing.

 

Anyway, I realized na tama nga ‘yung mga napanood ko na movies.
Pain changes people.
Because seven years after that happened, ito pa rin ako.
Mulling over what could’ve been.
Stuck in between what could've been and it is what it is.

 

I don’t mope every day naman.
But we all have those days.
And it just so happened na today is one of them.
I haven’t really felt this ty for months na.
But today’s just… extra…

 

I couldn’t help but reminisce.
I knew you were good at drawing.
I just didn’t know na ‘yun na pala pinursue niya.

 

Seven years.
A long time really has passed.
She's still gorgeous though.
Her features got sharper and Lord, have mercy on my poor soul because I know…

 

All you have to do is ask, and I’ll come back running to you.
I’d  even welcome you with open arms.

 

Yes, I did say that pain changes people.
But I didn't say na nagbago rin nararamdaman ko.

I made myself better lang because what if she left kasi we were too young and too immature to the point na we'll end up destroying one another? It could've been toxic para sa amin.
We weren't ready nga to let our feelings out... college would be full of challenges and what if she foresaw that we wouldn't be able to take it?

That we'd only crash and burn?

 

But I couldn't accept it so I switched my major. I was bitter.
And maybe she was right, kasi if I was matured enough, even if she left, I would've still majored in Civil Engineering.
I would be an Engineer right now and not a-- nevermind.
I realized okay pa rin 'yung choice ko na mag-change careers.

 

But who am I kidding?
I’m only thinking na it was a good idea taking up management because I got to see her again.
Akalain mo ‘yun?
Maybe… fate brought her back to me kasi tapos na ‘yung angst part sa story namin?

 

Hopeless na talaga ako, tama friends ko.

 

Weird though, I thought I’d be mad at her; at least a part of me.
I mean, she left me.
Just like that.

 

Sobrang tanga ko na talaga.

 

But yes, I saw her again.
She didn’t see me though.

 

I didn’t allow it to happen.
I just knew that it wasn’t the right time for us to meet… to talk.

 

So I just appreciated the way her outfit looks great on her– that long blue hair suits her so much.
She looks gorgeous.
I just observed how her habit of scrunching her nose and pursing her lips whenever she’s doing something or trying to focus on whatever hasn’t changed.
She’s so cute.
How intimidating she can get whenever she’s serious; she’s probably discussing something about the exhibition that she’ll be holding in one of our buildings.
She’s still scary.

 

If only I didn’t have responsibilities, I would’ve stayed where I was and I would've allowed myself to be stupid kasi finally, she’s in front of me.
Hindi na siya hallucination, hindi na siya panaginip.

 

But I’ve grown up din.
I have a job to do.
A business to manage.
I’ll just hope for a next time.

 

And maybe I didn’t expect na ang bilis naman ng next time.
I should’ve prepared myself for this.
But will there ever be a time na magiging handa ako na makaharap siya?
Maybe I spoke too early nung sinabi ko na I’d welcome her with open arms.

 

Because how could I?
If she’s holding on to someone else already?
I mean, nakakapit siya sa braso ng kasama niya, so literal na she’s holding on to someone.
And, she’s not the type to do that… unless.

Pero wala pa naman ring sa finger niya...

 

I removed my gaze from her hand and looked straight into her eyes.
For a moment, I know I saw confusion, shock, and sadness in her eyes.
But she’s good at hiding her emotions, she masked them right away.
Or maybe I was just hoping at namalikmata lang ako?

 

“Hi, Ms. Yu.” Bati ko sa kanya sabay abot ng kamay ko. “I’m Winter Kim, the managing director for Wonderspaces Manila. Glad to finally meet the artist behind the famous Mahika. Love the art.”

She stared at me na para bang iniisip niya if totoo ba ako and natauhan lang siya when I saw her friend or whatever they are, nudge her.

She cleared before niya abutin ang kamay ko.

She’s kind of shaking. I can feel it.

“That’s an exaggeration but thank you. You look so young to be a director. You must be exceptional at what you do. Also, I didn’t expect I’d get to meet you here. I’m glad you loved it.” She emphasized the last part and she sounded so genuine.

If only wala lang ‘yung extra niyang kasama… "That's dedicated to someone she holds dea--," napatigil ang, well, friend, I guess? niya when I she shot him a glare.

“She’s terrific at her job even when she was still a curator– her eyes are somethings else and I swear every exhibition she made were a success so I can assure you guys that you won’t regret this partnership,” ino-overestimate naman ng assistant ko capabilities ko.

 

But she’s not wrong.
I won’t allow anyone to mess things up, especially since it’s her that’s involved.
Regular clients and partners nga, alaga namin, alaga ko. Siya pa ba?

 

“Told you, babe. Good ‘yung choice na ‘to,” automatic na tumaas kilay ko sa narinig ko.
Babe raw? Ew, pangit naman ng tawag ng mokong na ‘to kay Jimin.

 

I noticed how she frozed kasi hawak ko pa rin ang kamay niya.
Lumipat-lipat lang ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa ng kasama niya nang bitawan ko na ang kamay niya.

 

“Of course, all of our previous clients, and even those who are still in partnership with us never regretted their decision,” proud na sabi ko sa kasama ni Jimin bago ko siya lingunin ulit. “Staying with us was probably the best decision they could’ve made, we’re a good partner if not the best you can have in this industry sa manila.”

“I’m sure you’ve already seen the inside, we’re going to remodel it before summer comes and if you’ll sign the contract, we can have your art placed in any space you want,” I added at mukhang aangal pa ang assistant ko before I eyed her.

 

Jimin was just about to talk when my phone rang, I excused myself and answered the call.

 

“Hey, love. I’m on a meeting right now. I’ll call you later, okay?” I softly said sabay end ng tawag.

 

When my gaze returned to Jimin, what the heck did I do now?
Her arms are now crossed, buti naman hindi na siya nakakapit sa kasama niya but why is she glaring at me?

 

I cleared my throat, “sorry about that. Anyway, I have to go now so you can discuss further with Hein here,” paalam ko at nagsimula na pumunta sa office.

 

My head was starting to hurt from all the plans, meetings, and paperwork kaya naman I decided to leave my office para pumunta sa pantry.

 

I was making myself coffee when I heard footsteps.
I didn’t bother to turn around since wala ako sa mood for conversation.
Babalik na sana ako sa office after ko gumawa ng Caramel Macchiato pero hinarang niya ako.

 

I didn’t even realized na it was her kasi I was checking my phone, bigla nalang siya humarang sa daan na muntik ko pa matapon ‘yung kape sa kanya.

 

“What are you doing, Miss Yu?” I asked, genuinely confused kasi bakit naman siya andito?
Also, why did she lock the door?

I took a sip sa kape ko when she playfully said, “miss you too,” and smirked kaya nabulunan ako.
“Excuse me, what?”
“Are you not going to lash out at me for leaving without saying goodbye? For ghosting you? For holding someone else’s arms?” She asked na para bang irita pa siya. She shot me a glare for God’s sake!

 

A chill definitely ran down my spine.
What’s she getting mad at me for?
I stuffed my hand in my pocket together with my phone.

 

“Bakit ako dapat magalit?” Genuine na tanong ko.

She huffed, “I thought?!” Her voice was getting louder pero she didn’t continue what she wanted to say. She just ran her hand through her hair, “nevermind,” and tumalikod na, aktong aalis na walang paalam… ulit.

I immediately grabbed her arm to stop her, “hey, what’s wrong?” I softly asked.

Confused na naman niya akong tiningnan, maybe because sa tone na ginamit ko.

Puro confusion nalang kami, ang hirap kapag hindi okay ang communication skills niyo.

“Tell me, what’s up? Bakit mo gusto na magalit ako?”

She let out a deep sigh, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burst out on you, that was unprofessional of me,” mahina niyang sabi at nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.

“You’re fine, but what’s the matter?”  I asked again as I caressed her arms.

I was shocked when I felt her arms shaking, I held her face at hinarap siya sa akin.

She looks like she’s about to cry.

“Why? What happened?”

She suddenly hugged me and hid her face on my shoulders.

Naramdaman ko nalang na basa na ang damit ko at narinig ko nalang ang mahina niyang paghikbi.

I hugged her back.

“Shh, let it all out.”

 

After a few minutes, naramdaman ko ang pagkalma niya.
I continued caressing her back para maramdaman niya na whatever it is that she’s feeling or whatever it is that she wants to say, okay lang.
I’m not mad naman.

 

“I’m sorry for leaving you,” that’s how she started.
She admitted that she didn’t– still doesn’t have a valid reason, she just felt overwhelmed and scared when she realized the gravity of our promise– our plans.
She didn’t want to leave, never did.
But when an opportunity came– which was her getting accepted to her dream school in Chicago, she grabbed it right away.
I was shocked when I heard it, she’s never mentioned it before.
I knew she liked drawing, painting, and art in general, but I didn’t know how passionate she was.

 

She told me how she kept it from everyone, not even her parents knew that she applied for it.
Her parents are both Architects and she thought, she had to be one as well.
There, I realized kung bakit never ko siya nakitang interesado sa pinag-aaralan namin.
She was only in it for the thought that we’d be working together.
That’s why she’d always stare sa labas, getting lost in whatever it is that she was thinking of.

 

May plans na pala siya even before I came into the picture.
How hard must it have been for her to be alone?

 

She wasn’t even comfortable enough to share that struggle with me.
Kinwento niya kung paano nagulat ang parents niya  and that at first, they were hesitant pa raw na suportahan siya sa decision niya.
But they were able to come to a compromise.
She had to show them results.

And she did, I felt proud when she told me how she even got a scholarship and got several awards for her works.
It wasn’t easy though, she had to face tons of struggles before she became who she is now.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t be with her, I wasn’t there through her ups and downs.

 

But then again, sure ba ako na we’d be okay if we did push through whatever we had?
Again, we were young, immature, and scared.
We couldn’t even admit or voice out whatever it was that we were feeling.

 

The past seven years for me weren’t all sunshine and butterflies too.
It was a hassle because imagine, I studied science and whatever during SHS, and all of a sudden…
I took management sa college.
My parents thought I lost my mind when I told them I wasn’t taking engineering anymore.
They were supportive though it took my last brain cell to finish my MBA while working as a curator.
It wasn’t easy setting up collections; the lighting and the theme… coordinating exhibits– it was a lot more than what I’ve mentioned and hindi ko alam kung paano ko kinaya.

 

So maybe, it was the right decision.
Growing separately.

 

Tanga ko na ba sobra?
Iniwan ako pero ang positive pa rin ng thinking ko?
Bumalik naman eh.
Continuation ng genuine friendship namin, season two.

 

She suddenly hit my shoulders kaya I realized na hindi na ako nakikinig sa kanya.
I got lost in my thoughts.

She bit her lip before talking, “are you busy thinking about your love right now?”
Boy, she sounded so bitter when she asked that.

“Ha?” Was my immediate reaction.
Anong love ko?

She scoffed. “Your love, the one who called you earlier.”

Ha?

I almost smacked myself when I realized what she was saying.
“What about love?”

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya at humiwalay sa pagkakayap sa akin.
I suddenly miss her warmth.
She even crossed her arms, ano na naman ba ginawa ko?

“I know I’ve been gone for seven years but do you really have to call her love in front of me? Do you have to think of her as I’m explaining my side? Are you that in love with her or him?”
She’s mad.

Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at humawak sa braso niya pero iniwasan niya ako.
Ang pabebe.
I sighed as I tried to hold her again but she kept on evading me hanggang sa hindi na siya makaatras because of the wall behind her.
Finally.
I cornered her by placing my arms on her side, matangkad lang siya pero maangas ako at cliche.

“That’s her name, love,” I explained.
Kasalanan ko ba na love ang pinangalan ni Giselle sa anak niya?
Bigla ko na-miss si love.
Sobrang busy kasi kaya hindi ko siya magawa bisitahin these days; kaya siguro ako tinawagan.
Yup, she’s going to be seven years old na this year and her moms gave her a phone para she can call us whenever she misses me or kapag nasa work ang parents niya.
I should buy her toys, para saan pa at rich tita niya ako.

 

“I don’t care if her name is love, do you have to smile sweetly just because she crossed your mind?”
Now she sounds jealous.
She was never a jealous person though?

 

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ngayon pa ako binetray ng emotion ko.
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Ang cute kasi.
Lord naman.

 

“And you’re laughing right now?”

Akala mo naman hindi siya nakakapit sa kung sinong lalaki kanina. Hmp.

“I never questioned you holding someone’s arm kanina naman?” Rebut ko.

“He has a husband in Los Angeles and he’s my manager.”

“Love is Giselle and Yizhuo’s adopted kid, she’s barely seven and she’s so cute, of course I wouldn’t be able to gush kapag naisip ko siya,” explain ko at bigla naman siyang namula. “Do you want to see her?”
I didn’t wait for her to answer kasi napansin kong super pula na ng ears niya.
She must be feeling embarrassed right now for lashing out.
I opened my gallery and showed her Love’s picture.

“I told you, she’s like a munchkin, look at her cheeks!” I almost squealed kasi super cute ni Love.

I saw her eyes sparkle, “she’s so cute!”
Tumingin siya sa akin na para bang na-guilty siya sa attitude niya kanina.

“I’m actually going out para bilhan siya toys, do you want to come with me? I might visit her later, you can meet her,” imbita ko and she nodded furiously.

 

And so we went out to shop for toys, our argument long forgotten na.
That is if you can call it an argument.

 

Like what I said previously, kahoy lang ako.
I was hurt, still am.

But dapat ba ako magpakalunod doon?
I’m what, going twenty-five in a few months and I’m still single because of this stupid pugo beside me who’s busy checking out which one is cuter, the crocodile or the shark stuffed toy.
I can’t say that I waited for her but I’m glad na she came back.

“For baby Love ba talaga ‘yan or for you?” I questioned her kasi she has this weird love for crocodiles and sharks.
She feigned surprise at what I said, “are you accusing me of something right now, pup?”
I felt a tickling but not unsettling sensation in my stomach. 

I can’t help but grin, “I’m not,” I denied. “Let’s get both?”
Her face brightened, “alright!”

 

And then…

 

I froze.

 

How could I not?

 

How could I not when she kissed me on my lips?

 

We were flirting the whole day…
To the point that it felt like a date but I can’t say what it was.

We didn’t talk about this.

We really need to start clarifying things and start putting labels.

But I guess we can talk about that later.

 

I already texted Gi and Ning that we’re on our way to their pad.
I may or may not have received tons of bashful comments for my stupidity today but they don’t have bad blood with Jimin so…

 

Love greeted me with a hug as soon as she saw me at their doorstep.
“Hi, Love.” I kissed her cheeks as I hugged her back. “Did you miss Tami?”
She calls me Tami kasi mixture raw ng Tita Mami and kaya Tita Min. She’s so lovely like her name.

She nodded excitedly. “You didn’t visit me for days so I thought you forgot about me na,” she pouted.

Ang cute, Lord. I pinched her cheeks lightly.

 

“Hi, baby,” mahina at nahihiyang bati ni Jimin na nasa likuran ko.
Napatingin sa kanya si Love at confused na bumati ng hello.

“Here, your Tami and I got you presents.”

Gagi, she looked adorable and small bigla sa paningin ko.
I didn’t know na she’s super shy when it comes to kids.
Tanggal ang angas at masungit niya na aura.

I heard Ning snickering. Hindi niya rin siguro in-expect.
Just like what I’ve said before, hindi naman outgoing si Jimin sa friends ko before.

 

Sa akin lang.

 

And I guess mana kay Ning ‘tong si Love kasi bigla lumaki ang ngiti nung makita ‘yung paperbag lalo na ang laman nito.
She giggled, hugged, and kissed Jimin sa cheeks din.
Ang rupok sa gifts.

I saw Jimin sighing in relief.

 

Gi and I left them sa living room para magluto.
I’m not sure what happened because after cooking na may slight sermon from Gi, naabutan namin na naghahabulan sila Jimin, Ning, at Love.

“Hey, time for dinner,” agaw atensyon na sabi ni Gi kaya napatigil silang tatlo.

 

I went to Jimin and fixed her disheveled hair, from running and playing around siguro.
She muttered thanks before giving me a kiss sa cheek tapos dumiretso na kami sa dining room.
I can feel my friends’ eyes on me pero alam naman na nilang tanga ako.
Mukha rin naman na okay na si Ning at Jimin.
As per Gi naman, sana raw ay this time, pag-usapan na namin kung ano kami.

 

Tama na ‘yung masaya lang; genuine friends.
Upgrade naman daw.

 

I can’t form the right word to describe our evening.
All I know is that I’m on cloud nine right now.
It was a night full of laughter with people I treasure the most, aside from my family of course.

 

It was a great one if not the best I ever had this year.

“Put your address sa GPS, hatid na kita,” I told Jimin while I was fixing my seatbelt.

“I want two kids,” out of nowhere niya na sabi. “I wish na kasing cute sila ni Lovie.”

I hummed nonchalantly as I started the engine.
Napatingin ako sa kanya nang mapansin ko na hindi niya pa nilalagay address niya.

“Don’t you want kids?” She asked na para bang bigla siyang nalungkot.

I tilted my head in confusion, “of course I want kids pero gusto ko rin na maihatid ka?”

She sighed, “then why is it that you look uninterested when I talked about wanting two kids?”

 

Ha?

 

I scratched the back of my head, I’m really confused.

She rolled her eyes before cupping my cheeks with her hands.
“I forgot just how oblivious you are,” she gave me a peck. “Be thankful that I love you.”

 

HA?

 

She groaned, “don’t act surprised. You knew!”

I mean, I knew but... I tried to form words but I guess my brain malfunctioned.

 

She kissed me again and it took me a while to respond.
Umalis rin siya sa passenger seat at umupo sa lap ko.
I held her waist and she s her arms around my neck to deepen the kiss.

 

Lord God…
Ready na ba ako sa mature roles?

 

We stopped kissing when we started to need air.
We were both panting.

She rested her forehead on mine as we revel each other in.

I can’t look away.
I mean, she’s always had my eyes.
She’ll always have me.

 

“Jimin, ano ba tayo?” Finally, I had the courage to ask.

“Genuine friends,” seryoso niyang sagot kaya napaatras ako because what the heck?

She smirked.

This woman.

 

“Do you think I’d kiss and make out with you if I think that we’re only genuine friends? How did you even come up with that?” She’s shaking her head.

 

Ning…

 

“But… we’ve been doing this thing ever since we were in senior highschool?”

 

Confused na talaga ako.
We never had verbal confirmation.
Kami ba na hindi ko alam?
We never said those three words though?
Tonight was the first time I’ve heard her say it.

 

“Baby, the moon looks gorgeous tonight,” she said with a knowing smile.

 

Matalino naman akong tao.
Bakit hindi ko gets?

 

I peered through the window, “nakatago naman ‘yung moon?”

She burst out laughing.

Ewan ko ba rito, even before, lagi niya sinasabi na ang ganda ng buwan.
Minsan nga kahit hindi niya naman nakita, nasa loob kami ng kwarto ko, sinasabi niya ‘yon.
Dapat pa nag-respond nalang ulit ako ng “indeed” or kung ano man na confirmation?

 

“You never fail to amaze me, pup. All these years, I was thinking that maybe, your love for me was not deep enough for you to say it back but,” she’s already crying from laughing too much.

I held her face and tried to wipe the tears.

“What do you mean that it’s not deep enough? I wouldn’t be single right now if that was the case,” I scoffed at her accusation.

“Baby, I’ve been telling you I love you for a year and all you say is ‘indeed’ or ‘i know right’ so I thought you just weren’t ready to say it back. It never crossed my mind that you didn’t know the meaning of it and was literally thinking that the moon looks pretty.”

 

Ano raw?
My brain stopped working the moment she called me baby the second time.

 

And since when did that phrase mean I love you?

 

She took a deep breath, “you thought that you’re single?” She clicked her tongue. “You’ve been mine ever since you responded to my kiss that summer of 2018,” she stated as if it was a matter of fact.

 

“Foreigner ka ba?” I blurted out of nowhere.
Hindi ko naman alam na kapag nag-kiss, kayo na agad.
So if I kiss someone el–

“Don’t even think of kissing someone else, Minjeong Kim. I swear to God,” she threatened me as if she read my mind.

“I’ll start being more verbal now, we should work on our communication skills,” she announced before giving me one last kiss at bumalik na siya sa passenger seat.

She fixed her seatbelt and parang loading pa rin ako.

 

My jaw’s starting to hurt, I didn’t even notice that I’d been grinning.

“Hold on, if you thought that you’re single, does that mean you dated– are you dating someone else right now?” She's eyeing me. Lord, help.

I shook my head vehemently, “I was too busy studying and working to have time para makipag-date, I was promoted as soon as I finished my MBA kaya never pumasok sa isip ko lumandi. I swear, I’ve never been with anyone after you.”

…

“I may or may not have thought that it was a waste of time because they might leave me lang din,” I admitted at napayuko nalang ako.
Bigla ako nakaramdaman ng takot ulit.
And then, tears started forming around my eyes.

 

She was quick to hold my cheek para iharap ako sa kanya.

“I’m not leaving you again, not now that I’ve found you again,” Jimin, trying to assure me with her words. “I promise.”

 

“Did…” I started crying. “Did you ever think of coming back?”

 

Because what if hindi ako nag-business?
What if I’m an engineer right now?
Would we have met coincidentally?
Would we be together right now?

 

She smiled softly, “of course, pup.” She answered habang pinupunasan niya luha ko gamit ang kamay niya. “I’ve been trying to look for you and maybe, I was doing it in the wrong places. I thought you’d be an engineer by now that’s why I said na I didn’t expect to see you.”

“You guys blocked me on social media, changed your usernames to something that’s totally unrelated to your names tapos naka-private pa, Ning told me earlier. Do you know how glad I was when you appeared in front of my eyes?”

 

I pursed my lips, akala ko okay na ako kanina.
Iba pa rin pala kapag lahat ng tanong mo, nasagot na.

 

“I–,” I got cut off when we heard someone know sa window ng car.

I saw Ning sa labas, her hands on her hips pa.
I fixed myself before opening the window, “hey?”

“Hindi pa ba kayo uuwi? You’ve been here for over an hour,” what?

I checked the time, .

Jimin laughed a little, “sorry, we had some enlightenment in front of your house.”

Ning shook her head, “bring her to your house nalang Min since it’s closer, doon niyo na ituloy ‘yan at delikado na. It’s already late, for God’s sake,” natawa nalang ako rito.

 

I agree though.
We bid goodbye to each other for the second time.

 

I started driving.

 

I placed my right hand on her thigh which made her look at me.

 

I turned to her side for a second, “I love you.”

 

🕖

 

truck-kun then appeared and hit their car boom haha

i think by now everyone knows that i don't proofread

so i'm sorry hehe

i think medyo, if not super magulo rin, as always, 'yung pacing

been going back to sleep kapag naka ilang lines na kasi ako tapos nawawala na ako haha

oks na 'yon

plus, out of nowhere lang din na sinulat ko 'to kasi syempre bihira lang naman sipagin

tipong kapag wala update, iyaq

'yun nga kasi

i remembered this one time where someone told me that he messaged me because he wanted genuine friendship daw tapos my friends joked na ang pakilala raw, meet my gf 💀

sakto pa na nakikinig ako sa may i ask ni luke chiang

anyway...

reminder

genuine friend 🤝 gf = friends shouldn't be this confusing!!!!!