"I shall now announce the five ladies who will proceed to the second round of selection..."

 

 

In the royal courtyard where the first tests in the king's concubine selection were held, Court Lady Jo's voice can be heard clearly. Fifteen young women, all dressed in yellow tops and bright red dresses (as in hanbok), are all waiting anxiously. Each of them all hopes to hear their name read aloud, hoping to step forward and take the precious scroll.

 

Every lady, except one.

 

 

"Miss Sooji from the Bae family."

 

That was already the fourth name. Noh Jihye began to tremble.

 

'Please, I beg with all my life, please...'

"And the last one..."

 

 

Eyes fixed on the tiled yard, Jihye's ears can still hear the last scroll taken out.

 

'To all the Lords, to all my ancestors... 

Please, don't let it be me...'

 

 

"Miss Jihye from the Noh family."

 

 

The sky fell in front of Jihye. But somehow, magically, she was still able to calmly walk to the Court Lady and take the scroll. All her etiquette practices did not go to waste, as they helped Jihye maintain her still face on her way to her waiting carriage.

 

It was not until all the other ladies got on their way did Jihye loosen her shoulder and began whining to her servant, also the only one who knows how she feels at the moment.

 

"Whyyyyyyy???!!!! What karma have I made to earn this? Tell me, Hyemin-ah, what have I ever done wrong in my life????" - Jihye cried out as she had both hands on Hyemin's shoulders, shaking her servant back and forth.

 

"Miss... My lady... calm... down... I... can't... breathe..." - Hyemin couldn't speak properly being shaken like that.

 

"Who could have possibly not disqualified me? After everything that I've done? A maniac? Who would have let someone like that judge all of this?"

 

Jihye stopped her anger flowing on her arms and began converting them to her legs, as she stomp on the ground in frustration. She then pulled out the tiny blue sachet on her dress, took out eight coins from it, and gave two to each of her carriagemen.

 

"You have worked hard the past few days, take this money and treat yourselves. Quickly." 

 

Seeing saw the four men confusedly staring at each other, Jihye added. "Starting from tomorrow, royal carriages will be used. For tonight, I'd like to walk my way home."

 

Hyemin gasped in astonishment. "Miss, it's so far from here to Hanbat! I'm afraid you are not capable of..."

 

"If you could walk the whole route, not to mention twice a day every day, then I don't see why can't I."

 

Jihye angrily replied and quickly set her foot off first, followed by a confused and hasty Hyemin as she continuously bowed to the carriagemen and told them to make their way home. Hyemin's concern was not about Jihye's stamina - her young mistress is quite an active girl since her childhood - but for her good, if the grand master notices the dirt on Jihye's shoes and her slightly swollen feet. He would not let this go easily. As if reading that thought of Hyemin, Jihye lowered her temper. "I will talk to my father about this, don't worry."

 

Jihye was not a fool herself, she knows how far the way home was. It was all written and illustrated in some of w the books she found in her father's room, and even at his friend's offices, which among them, a book on physical health let her know that in her current state, walking is a good choice, regarding how it would help her control her breathing and drain out all the energy it would take to whine or sabotage.

 

Hyemin has been serving the Noh family ever since she was a little child. She became close to her young mistress as they were of the same age, and it was no doubt she would be Jihye's assistant for this Royal Consort selection. As a close sister of Jihye, Hyemin knew that the young lady of the Noh family didn't want to be involved in any of this. She was forced to participate, so she did, but with no intention of winning anything. It was also the reason why Jihye was not that of an opponent to the other ladies - she barely even put her effort into any tests, or if she did, it would be to give off that the-Noh-lady-must-be-disqualified vibe. 

 

And the reason for all that? Except for Jihye herself, Hyemin is also the only one who knew the answer.

 

 

 

-----

 

Jihye carefully pushed open her bedroom window, climbed out, and swiftly walked to the wall behind her family's estate, followed by Hyemin. With only the moon lighting their way, two young ladies got to the usual spot, and then quickly took down some of the loose tiles on top of the low fence walls, revealing the flat surface where Jihye climbed over the fence with Hyemin's skillful help.

 

"The rain had just stopped, it might be slippery in the woods, please be careful." Hyemin stood on the tip of her toes and smiled at Jihye over the wall fence. "Have a great night with your lover~"

 

"Again, Hyemin, I don't have a lover." Jihye glared at Hyemin but then smiled slightly, before straightening the white silk covering the below half of her face and running quickly into the woods.

 

"Says someone who always acts like a lovebird," Hyemin smirked and rolled her eyes when Jihye had already gone far away. She then placed the tiles back on before going back to Jihye's bedroom for her late-night snack while waiting for her young mistress.

 

 

 

-----

 

 

"So you're in the next round?"

 

"Didn't I?!" Jihye pouted just at the thought of it and stomped her feet while still sitting on the wet grass. "Think of it, Ikhwa, how is this even happening? I mean, I attempted all kinds of sabotage!" 

 

The woman called Ikhwa, sitting next to Jihye, leaning onto the tree, giggled at the sight of a sulky Jihye.

 

"I did everything you said, I even applied SO much makeup in my natural face test and somehow I still PASS? Like how?! Just the Gods wanting me to be a Royal Consort?! Ikhwa, what are you laughing at?!"

 

From the word ‘Royal Consort’, Jihye's voice began to tremble. 

 

"Maybe... I was born to be bound to the king like this... Maybe I should just..." Jihye then turned to Ikhwa in panic.

 

Ikhwa's expression became a bit less joyful, but her smile remains. She gently held onto Jihye's shaking shoulders.

 

"Look, things might be looking bad now, but it's just the first round. Out of three rounds! You still got two more rounds to fail, why are you so down? Where is that little girl who kept saying to me that she would never let herself be wed to anybody?"

 

Jihye did imply that so many times to Ikhwa, the one she considered a soulmate. This determination of hers came from all the knowledge she obtained from the many books she read since she could remember things. She knew what she liked - throughout her whole childhood life, she spent all her time reading, running around, or even climbing. She was even friends with many boys in the area. It was not until her teenage years that she was forced to learn embroidery and all the lady-ly stuff by her mother, and luckily, she didn't have to struggle with them for too long, thanks to her natural intelligence.

 

"Maybe only a stubborn heart is still not enough." Jihye sighed. "Maybe my father would only leave me alone if I die."

 

"I got a lasso on my horse if you need it."

 

Jihye went silent at Ikhwa's serious offer. Indeed, she would not want anything more than to be out of all this, but now... she's not so sure if she dares to risk her life for it.

 

Before all this, Jihye had always had the thought of drowning herself in the lake deep in this forest or maybe letting herself fall down the cliff, to another life, where she can be free to choose whoever she wants to marry, whatever she wants to do. Where she can truly be free.

 

Her train of thought kept on and on until the day she was called out to see the one whom her father told her is the king. He also told her that the king had an eye on her. That he wanted Jihye to be his honor lady in the palace. That this is a one-of-a-lifetime chance the other ladies can only dream of. But Jihye just couldn't stand the thought of spending the rest of her life with somebody she doesn't even know, not to mention love. Plus, becoming a Royal Consort in the palace would also hold her back from all the freedom she was having.

 

That day, Jihye's thoughts turned into motivation, the top thing on her to-do list that she would complete sooner or later.

 

The day her father sent the application to the selection, Jihye decided she had enough. She ran frantically to the cliff in tears, and as she was about to take a leap of faith, Ikhwa was the one who held her back.

 

And because of that, Jihye couldn't trust that lasso she offered.

 

"I bet my life your lasso is in terrible condition. It wouldn't even hold me for long enough. You are going to ruin my intention just like last time." Jihye chuckled ironically. "But why didn't you just join me?"

 

Jihye doesn't know Ikhwa, but she somehow knows how Ikhwa feels. Just like her, Ikhwa longs for freedom. However, their ten-year was enough to make a difference in their choices, as Ikhwa chose to be a good child, and wed herself to some man with a high position in the royal party that she doesn't even know, only to be rich enough to save her ill parents and people from her old village. Or at least that's what Ikhwa told her.

 

"Your lifelong wish has been fulfilled, there's nothing for you to lose... You could have just gone with me." Jihye pinched Ikhwa's arm. "Or let me go alone, instead of holding me back and talking me into staying in this helllllll!!!!"

 

Jihye's joke was followed by a long moment of silence, with only the cricket's sound remaining.

 

"I have thought of joining you when I saw you on the cliff." Ikhwa slowly replied. "But then the urge just... stopped. Just because. Plus, coming to think of it, I'm not that desperate now. My husband is not even seeing me that often these days."

 

Jihye, leaning her head on Ikhwa's shoulder out of sleepiness, suddenly turned to look straight at the older.

 

 "I just need everything to go as I planned, matchmake my husband to that girl he's having a crush on, and I can run away without anyone noticing. Go anywhere, do whatever I want."

 

Then she suddenly turned to face Jihye. "Loving anyone I love."

 

"Then you could just stay alone and live happily here. My happiness isn't here." Jihye huffed. "I'm tired of this world."

 

"You were in danger. And I'm not a cold-blooded person. Every humankind is precious." Ikhwa smiled and gently caressed the younger's cheek through the thin layer of silk. "Plus, I had always wanted a little sister as an only child."

 

"Yeah, having you as a big sister... isn't a bad thing." Jihye suddenly felt a hint of disappointment. "But what kind of a big sister doesn't show her face? Can't you just take that mask off for once? Not even a moment?"

 

Ever since they first met on the cliff, and the following nights, Ikhwa always came to Jihye with a mask covering the upper half of her face, similar to Jihye with a piece of white silk, revealing only her eyes and the bridge of her nose. To Jihye's sudden request, Ikhwa replied in a challenging tone. “Only if you let me take that white thingy off your pretty face first."

 

"Not if I want your mask off first. You're older."

 

"What if I say my face can get us both in trouble?" Ikhwa smirked.

 

"Can't be worse than us both dead. Give me that!"

 

Jihye then reached for the older's mask, but Ikhwa quickly dodged her touch and stood up from her seat with a naughty scared expression on her face. Jihye mischievously grinned and began chasing her. Laughter echoed in the quiet forest. After a while, Jihye managed to grab Ikhwa's wrist, and gave it a pull, making the older woman turn around to face her, and as the younger lady leaned forward for the mask, she lost balance. The two eventually fell on the misty grass, Ikhwa lying below Jihye.

 

With both her elbows on the ground, Jihye realized that their faces are now only a finger away from each other. The current situation suddenly brought heat to Jihye's cheeks, her eyes nervously rolls to the left, then the right, before they were forced to look straight into Ikhwa, as the older snuck her fingers beneath the silk on Jihye's face to cup her cheeks. Ikhwa's bright eyes, not covered by the mask, shed a gaze so naturally gentle on the young lady at first, which now turned into a somewhat confused look, with a bit of hope, and even a hint of want.

 

Jihye's elbows began to lose their strength, her face was slowly lowered, letting her warm breath exhaled against Ikhwa's exposed lips. She could feel the woman beneath her shaking, but no signs of protest. Ikhwa's eyelids are also slowly making their way down. 

 

Jihye began to hesitate when they were only a strand of air away from each other.

 

She had always had this unknown feeling whenever she was near the older woman. Since god knows when, Jihye had always been waiting to meet Ikhwa. Every touch, her hold on Jihye's hands, her hugs, even her strong shoulder where Jihye would doze off, give out a strange feeling that Jihye never had enough of. The older's soft low-tone voice has snuck its way into Jihye's dreams and even her slightest imagination, and would always cast a sudden smile on her face. Hyemin always teases her for being a lovebird whenever that smile appears.

 

 

Isn't it so obvious, that Jihye has always been a young girl falling in deep love?

 

But Ikhwa is a woman...

 

Among various books Jihye has read in her life, none of them told her if a woman can have a crush on another woman.

 

And that's why Jihye's he