Echappé - a ballet term meaning to escape

New York City

Song Mingi

Loneliness finds me when the night falls.

The concert was over but Song Mingi was miserable because as the night deepens and with nothing else to occupy him, murky thoughts latched onto his mind again. Thoughts that he tried to shake but would only hold firmly in his brain.

He lumbered out of the concert hall, people calling his name or Wooyoung’s or San’s or others’ names but he was deaf to the outside noise. The noise in his head was louder. He gave a small wave and smiled a little at the people waiting for them. Ungrateful was a label he would never want associated with him, not because of the damaging consequence but the fact that it was not true. He had always cherished the ones who supported him, he just felt too detached and lost tonight. Truth be told, he had been so for so many nights. For months and months, he had been desperate to make sense of this emptiness. If he had been brave enough to seek the truth, he would find it lay waiting for him but he didn’t dare to unveil the reason for his misery.

The lights were blinding, they, once again, were in the spotlight. To anyone, the sway of his walk implied swagger but if one were to examine closely, his feet dragged because of the weight of his spiraling emotions. Emptiness was such a heavy load to carry. It hung on his shoulders and leaden his feet. Finally, through the screams and flashes of camera lights, they reached the bus waiting at the entrance. Others made a final wave to the fans before climbing up. Mingi only held his head low and when he was at the door looking inside the dark cave of the car, his body froze. It was as if it had transformed into a beast with a gaping metallic mouth awaiting to admit him.

Hongjoong was quick to notice how stiff Mingi had become. He peered into his face and saw the emptiness turning into panic in the younger’s eyes. He acted fast, he braced Mingi’s back and fetched his phone, and dialed their manager, instantly demanding for another car be brought for them. The bus was waiting for a while and Seonghwa’s head reared from inside. There was a look of inquiry and concern on his face.

“Get them to the hotel. We’ll see you there.” Hongjoong whispered trying not to sound as distressed as he felt.

It only took one look on Mingi’s face for Seonghwa to realize what was happening. He made a curt nod and asked the driver to drive on. Before the bus fully pulled away, the heavy curtain from inside swayed to reveal more worried faces.

A dark sedan was quick to follow and Hongjoong guided Mingi to the back seat. He turned to the fans and the press once more and flashed a forced smile in hope that it would be enough to quell any rising suspicions. Inside the car, Hongjoong shed the idol persona and immediately turned into a comforting older brother. He reached for Mingi’s hand as the car pulled away.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Mingi croaked not having enough words to say how ashamed he was for needing such attention.

“Mingi-ah, don’t say that. You know you are more important than all this.” He tried to soothe him and his own growing sadness. He was silent for a while, weighing if Mingi would open up to him and when he didn’t, it was his duty to pry. “What’s on your mind? It’s me. You can tell me.”

Mingi angled his face away. He knew that to be true, he could tell Hongjoong everything but the heartbreaking part was he had always known that he wouldn’t. No matter how his secret kept crushing his chest, he would never admit what a loser he was for loving someone else’s girl.

Hongjoong leaned back into his space knowing well that he wouldn’t reach the enlightenment that he was searching for. That was okay, he appeased himself, as long as Mingi was with him and he was safe.

Mingi looked on the ever-changing lights of the city. It was overwhelmingly bright and somehow he felt like his thoughts belonged there among the hostility and chaos. He didn’t want to go back to the chilly and barren hotel room, alone with his thoughts and hollow smiles. He wanted to be away.

“Can we stop the car, hyung?” He found himself saying. The confusion on Hongjoong’s face was apparent. “I would like a brief walk, if I may.” There was a sound of pleading in his voice.

“But Mingi,” Hongjoong was at loss at this ludicrous demand. “But we don’t know this place and your English is terrible.” He added a comedic punch in hope that it would dissolve the rising tension.

“I will call you, I promise.” He looked away again because he knew his next words would devastate Hongjoong and with the smallest of voice he added, “I’m dying in here.”

His guess did not betray Hongjoong as his face broke a little at the words. Oh, Mingi, he thought to himself. Tell me how to help. Please tell me how can I relieve you from this pain. But how can one help someone else who didn’t even know how to fix himself. Stinging tears threatened to leak from his eyes.

“Okay.” He couldn’t believe that he was allowing this, letting a volatile Song Mingi roam the unfamiliar streets of a more unfamiliar city without someone to protect him but it was clear that the enemy here was Mingi himself.

“Manager hyung is going to kill me.” He sighed, defeated. “How's your phone’s battery? Make sure to call me if anything happens. I can only hold them off for too long.”

The smile Mingi gave to him was hollow and mechanical. “Thank you, hyung.” And he finally squeezed Hongjoong’s hand in return.

Choi Saerom

She slipped out of the club into the chill of the night, leaving the people she came with to their wild whims and drug-induced euphoria. She came to forget not to throw her life away so when the gyrating became too frenzied and inhibitions thrown to the wind, she knew it was time to escape.

 She staggered down the street. The world kept on whirring that she had to lean her head back and concentrate on keeping herself on her feet. Eyes closed, she in the