YUJIN

 

I live in a apartment room number 714. Its funny how I said I live in apartment room number 714 but I can’t feel like I am a living thing.

 

Maybe its because I think I don’t see any purpose in life. I did not decide to go into college because I don’t have dreams. I just finished my high school and my life stopped there.

 

I am already 23 and some people in my age are probably one step closer to achieving their dreams. I wish I could relate.

 

So here I am working in a ice cream shop. Everyday I see people wearing smiles every time they step in the shop.

 

Its something I don’t have. I don’t just smile for anyone. My manager scolded me about this for a lot of times because he thought I hated my job when the truth is I love it because its the only thing keeping me alive, supporting my needs to live.

 

Family? they left me behind when I said I don’t want to go to college and now here I am living in my own, in a new city.

 

“one scoop of vanilla please and oh add some sprinkles on it!” the girl maybe around 15 said cheerfully and I just gave her a bored look and followed her order.

 

I feel like my manager is already glaring at me. “that will be 10000 won and please just proceed at the counter for your payment” I said with a forced smile. The girl must be scared, with my smile I mean.

 

I’ve been working at this ice cream shop for a while now. My last job was at the restaurant, well long story short I screwed up and now I’m here. So far I’ve been working here much longer than the other previous jobs I had.

 

Well I love it here. I love scooping ice cream cause I feel like everytime I do it, I bring other people happiness with it. I do love it but my face says otherwise.

 

“okay folks we are closing early today!” my boss announced and I heard my workmate, the one who’s in-charge in the cashier rejoiced.

 

“why? it’s still early? its not the hour yet where people usually go here” I asked cause my boss isn’t usually like this.

 

“it’s because I have a date”

 

And? I don’t care if you have a date. I want to say that out loud.

 

“woah woah woah! finally! boss is having a date!” Yena— the cashier girl jumped in joy like it is something to celebrate about. “i hope this one stays boss”

 

“oh i hope too!”

 

oh i don’t care.

 

Call me a kill joy but I just don’t know how to react whenever things like these happens in front of me. But I am indeed happy for my boss!

 

For the times I’ve work here, I can count for how many times- maybe four times or five if I include today, she closed the shop early because she has a date. I mean of course I’m happy because we also get benefits from this, more rest time.

 

But the part where our boss gets a date or maybe getting a date in general? well I don’t know.

 

Is that thing associated with the word love?. Love. Date. Well I don’t care about love.

 

I think falling in love is stupid

 

Its bull. Maybe its because never in my life I felt that thing, that love or to be loved.

 

I think I will never fall in love.

 

 

~

 

 

It took me almost half an hour to get home to my apartment because while walking home the cashier girl Yena who also happens to be my friend, my only friend in this city, talked me about this girl she likes.

 

She was all bubbly, well mind you her personality is already bubbly but this time it was different, she was bubbly and happy and in love. I think she’s in love.

 

I listened to all of her stories like a friend and when we finally had to take a different path, in my mind..

 

I still think falling in love is stupid my friend

 

 

 

 

“hi! are you my neighbor?”

 

The apartment in front of me, door 707 has always been empty but tonight its wide open, looks like someone moved in today.

 

“hello I’m talking to you? can you hear me?”

 

And she is talking to me

 

“yes I am your neighbor isn’t obvious?”

 

I answered irritatedly and went inside of my apartment. I don’t want to do some chitchats I just want to sleep.

 

 

~~

 

 

The next morning I got waken by a continuous knocking at my door. Not in a creepy way like in the horror movies. Its still 7 am in the morning, I usually wake up at 8 and prepare for my work but maybe not today.

 

Who could this be?

 

I don’t have any friends except Yena and she doesn’t even know where I live

 

The landlord? but I always pay my rent two months early

 

Or it could be the new neighbor which is I hope not

 

“hello! good morning! i baked some muffins and i want you to have some! its also a gift for you my new neighbor”

 

 

 

waking me up just for a damn muffin???!! your muffins miss!

 

I slammed the door at her. I am annoyed. So I just went back to sleep.

 

I don’t care if I would appear as the rude neighbor but I’ve always been seen that way.

 

 

 

I’m on my way to my work. I stepped outside of my apartment and I feel like I stepped on something soft.

 

did someone’s dog pooped in my doorstep? I was going to go mad and curse when I saw it was a now crashed muffin. Damn at least put it in a box next time?

 

I’m still mad cause now I’m going to be late at work cause I still need to clean my shoes.

 

After cleaning my shoes and throwing the muffin at the trash. I look at my doorstep one more time to see if there are any crumbs of the muffins, instead there was a piece of paper.

 

Of course I picked it up, I’m a tidy person.

 

 

 

‘sorry! you must be angry cause i woke you up from your sleep so I’m just going to put your muffin here! have a nice day neighbor!’

 

love, mj.

 

 

 

Thanks to you I’m not having a nice day.

 

So I crumpled the paper and throw it somewhere while I’m walking to my job.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

The rest of my work day went well. Boss was in a good mood I think her date yesterday went well oh I could tell.

 

Yena told me that she is nervous to ask this girl she likes, thus becomes our topic the whole day.

 

I told her that I’m sure everything will turn out well as if I know how does it feel to be nervous asking someone. As if I was in that situation before.

 

Now I wonder what does it feels like asking someone out.

 

 

 

“wow your apartment looks neat!”

 

 

 

What. The. Hell. I didn’t know my new neighbor was behind me when I was opening my apartment and now she went inside with me, I didn’t even invited her to go in.

 

“i didn’t know you would be a neat freak I’m really surprised”

 

Well what I’m going to do next is surely going to surprise you too

 

“get out of my apartment”

 

If only I can push her out but no. I’m not in that level of rudeness yet.

 

She looks confused but she just obliged. And for the second time I slammed my door to her face.

 

So this is how it feels like asking someone out or asking someone to get out of your apartment rather.

 

 

 

~~

 

 

 

‘hello again neighbor its me! i think i might’ve upset you again last night by calling you a neat freak. i should’ve said that i think it’s quite offensive isn’t it? anyway neighbor, i’ve bake muffins again and of course you always got a share of it! have a nice day neighbor!

 

love, mj.

 

 

And again, all of it V’ve thrown it in the trash while I’m on the way to work.

 

Why would that new neighbor of mine— or is her name mj? who the has a name like that. anyway, why would she waste her time with me and its only the second time she gave me muffins I hope its going to be the last.

 

I wonder what’s her intention while doing these acts? to make friends? so she gives free muffins to the whole neighborhood too?

 

Make friends? with me? no thanks. One friend is enough for me in this city and that’s Yena, I don’t know if I even consider my boss a friend, lets say half friend.

 

Does she give muffins to the neighborhood around us? well I don’t know. I will try finding out about it later when I get home.

 

Well whatever her intention is I hope she keeps me out of it.

 

“Yena what do you do if someone gives you a muffin?” there are no customers anyway so Yena and I have a reason so have a little chitchat.

 

“eat it??” of course she’s going to answer that.

 

“but what if its from a stranger? would you still eat it?”

 

“lets take a look at the stranger’s face first, if they look trustworthy then why not?”

 

 

I don’t know why do I ask questions like this to Yena. I look like a kid asking stupid questions to an adult.

 

Now Yena won’t stop bugging me about it and calling me names like muffin girl.

 

I just brush it off and the rest of the day went well.

 

 

 

 

Now I’m back at my apartment.

 

And I remembered to keep in mind to ask the tenants in our floor if this new neighbor, mj gives out free muffins to everyone.

 

I start with the one beside me, neighbor 713. My room is in the corner of the 7th floor and the whole building has 7 floors.

 

 

Before I’ll press the door bell, I realized this is my first time ever interacting with someone in this whole building and its just because to ask about a stupid muffin.

 

I pressed the door bell. I heard it rang from the inside and I feel like I can hear the incoming footsteps from the inside like I have super biotic hearing powers.

 

The door opened and it showed a man, maybe around my age, and a bit taller than me. His haircut annoys me.

 

“hi! does the new neighbor from there” I pointed her apartment “gave you a muffin??” I asked in my most polite self.

 

“yes. it was delicious.” and he slammed the door at me. So this is how it feels to get slammed by a door to their face.

 

I moved to the next tenant, the one who lives beside the new neighbor. Neighbor 706. I like it how I call them by their apartment number, as if I know their names.

 

I was about to press the door bell when the door opened. “oh? hi! never in my life I imagine you’d end up in front of my door”

 

same.

 

It was a girl, I’m towering her and maybe I guess we’re around the same age too or older than me? I don’t know she looks young, like me, and the height—

 

“what brings you here?” she gave me a warm smile, I gave her none.

 

“I was just going to ask if the new neighbor beside you gave you some muffins?” her face suddenly lits up.

 

“oh yes she did! and her name is Minjoo by the way!” she talks to me like we are friends or maybe this is just what she is, friendly. “she gave out muffins to everyone the day she moved in here which is like 2 days ago and it was delicious we actually had…”

 

She talks a lot. I stopped listening when she said the word delicious. All I need to know if she gives muffin to everyone. I didn’t need to know that they shared a conversation yesterday and know her name is Minjoo.

 

Her name is Minjoo. The new neighbor’s name is Minjoo so I guess that’s what mj’s short for.

 

“hello neighbors!”

 

 

 

Neighbor 706 finally stopped talking when someone greeted us? am I even included in that hello? well she said hello neighbors though.

 

And it was the new neighbor who just arrived. I had to excuse myself before she even get closer to us.

 

“hey wait—“

 

 

 

I heard some called me? I guess? I assumed? but I just slammed the door after I get back to my apartment. Oops.

 

Well atleast I know she gives out muffins to everyone and not just to me. I guess I can finally conclude that she just wants to make friends with everyone and she already got neighbor 706.

 

There are 14 apartments in this floor. 9 of them being occupied at the moment. She already got one of them as her friend then I guess she doesn’t need me anymore, she can be friends with the remaining ones or might as well befriend all the people in this building. I don’t care.

 

Now to end this day, I cooked myself some fried chicken. Did the dishes. Brushed my teeth. Washed my face. Prepared myself for bed and that’s it.

 

 

 

~~

 

 

 

‘hello neighbor! i heard from jiwoo that you asked her about my muffins? oh i wonder why? is it because it tasted good and you want more but you were just shy to ask me? awww cute! you can just ring me up and ask for muffins its okay! i can bake for you anytime neighbor. so here ya go! and have a nice day!’

 

love, mj

 

 

 

its the third day and I thought she’d already stop. I went back inside. Was about to throw it in my trash again when I give it a moment to observe the box. She started putting it in a box since yesterday.

 

It was just a normal box, like a box where muffins are usually placed it. But its colored blue. Its not that I didn’t notice it but the color blue just catches my attention easily.

 

Is that what you call favorite color? I guess so, then I like blue.

 

And then I threw it cause I realized I’m late for work and when I arrived at work I immediately ask Yena.

 

 

“how do you stop someone from giving you muffins?” she looked at me like I just admitted that I let the toilet left unflushed. “or lets say in a nice way…”

 

“Yujin listen you can’t stop a person to do what they like”

 

What? do what they like? its not like giving me muffins and baking them is something that Minjoo girl would willingly love to do everyday for me— or to others, maybe I wouldn’t have the heart to look on her face after telling her to stop and that it’s just a waste of time.

 

I just think Yena isn’t making sense right now.

 

“okay okay i get it stop giving me advice now. let’s just get back to work!” I said as if there are customers lining right now when in fact the whole shop is empty.

 

Understandable. Who would love to have an ice cream in this time? its still early. not even close to noon.

 

 

 

 

When I got back home— it feels weird calling my apartment home but I’ll get use to it. When i got back home up, I went up with her in the elevator. her, Minjoo.

 

“hi” she greeted me trying to minimize the awkward atmosphere.

 

“hello” I answered not because I wanted to.

 

“did you like my muffins for today? I put on some extra chocolate chips on top for you”

 

 

. I don’t even know how her muffins taste like, and as if I would die to know how it taste like.

 

 

“yeah i like it. its a perfect pair for my coffee”

 

I lied of course. Now why is the elevator is taking too long.

 

I’m not looking at her when I said that but I can see in my peripheral vision that she is smiling like she loved that fake compliment.

 

 

“thanks.. and if it isn’t obvious, i like baking”

 

 

TING. The elevator door finally opens to 7th floor. I immediately walked out of the elevator, pretending I didn’t heard what she just said so I don’t have to answer it.

 

 

Its okay Yujin just avoid her existence Yujin.

 

 

“goodnight!”

 

 

Just ignore it.

 

 

 

~~

 

 

 

‘hello neighbor! Here’s a muffin for your coffee. i hope today its even better than the previous ones i made. have a nice day!’

 

love, mj

 

 

 

i guess she really won’t stop and another one for you trash.

 

This keep on going for like a week and until my trash is already full because of it.

 

Now I have to take it out while I’m on my way to work. Damn the trash is so full that I can’t even put the one she gave today so I just decided to bring it to work and give it to Yena.

 

 

 

Finally for the first time the muffin served it purpose, to be eaten. Yena liked it and even boss liked it.

 

Yena still teases me muffin girl and how she wants to meet this muffin maker— a nickname she gave to Minjoo because I wouldn’t give her name.

 

 

“why can’t i have a lifetime supply of muffin too?” Yena whined and I wheezed at the “lifetime supply of muffin” its not like she’s going to be my neighbor forever or its not like I’m going to stay as her neighbor forever or maybe she would even stop associating herself with me ones she founds out I kept on murdering her muffins.

 

 

Which is I guess a good thing so my life would be at peace now.

 

 

“hello there Yujin!”

 

 

That voice sounded so familiar. it used to be ‘hello neighbor’ but now it has my name… how???

 

 

I looked at the customer— at her.

 

 

“how did you know my name is Yujin?” I asked her.

 

“your name tag silly”

 

 

oh. of course. every employees here has their name tags, when I say every employees I meant me, Yena and our boss— Eunbi.

 

 

“but you know i already know your name before you even said yours to me”

 

“same thing minjoo”

 

 

She was surprised i know her name. Then for a moment I hope she figured it out that it’s because of the same person— our neighbor Jiwoo, the one who lives beside her and the bubbly neighbor. She once talked about Minjoo to me and I bet Jiwoo talks about me to Minjoo too.

 

I think she just did. slowly her face turns back to being relaxed.

 

 

As much as I want her to say her order faster but I have no reason at all cause no one is lining behind her so no need to hurry.

 

 

“what do you want to order?”

 

 

She’s not looking at me anymore. She is looking at the menu above me and thinking.

 

For someone who is trained to be patient with your customers picking order time, she is so damn slow—

 

 

“what’s your favorite flavor?”

 

 

i

don’t

know

but

suddenly

there’s

a

light

feeling

in

my

chest

 

 

And I love it. Its a really nice feeling and I want to smile right now.

 

A nice feeling that makes me want to smile willingly not because my manager forced me to.

 

For over a year working here no one has ever asked me that question. Tts always “whats the best seller here?” “what do you think is the best?” “just any good ones you would recommend” but never

 

what’s your favorite flavor?

 

 

 

“Yujin? hello? are you okay??”

 

 

That brought me back to my senses.

 

 

“what? what’s going on here??” Yena went beside me with the muffin.

 

Oh god she is still eating the muffin??? What if Minjoo sees it???

 

And she sees it. She looks happy seeing it.

 

 

 

“i guess you really liked my muffins..” Minjoo said and there she is again with her proud face.

 

As she should.

 

Both Yena and I looked at her.

 

 

 

“yeah I like it so much that I want to share it with my friend—“

 

 

“OH MY GOD SO YOU ARE THE MUFFIN MAKER???!!? NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU!!” Yena was so enthusiastic that she almost jumped out of the counter to hug her. Y can see how Minjoo tries to match her energy.

 

And . . oh my god. I just remembered all of the muffin drama I told yena and I hope she won’t say it to Minjoo.

 

please please please please don’t.

 

I don’t want Minjoo to hate me.

 

 

 

“did you know my friend here…” I started saying silent prayers in my head now. “… is always too flustered to say thank you to you every time you give her muffins”

 

 

 

I want Minjoo to like me.

 

 

 

Yena winked at me. I smiled. I looked at Minjoo then I looked away. Maybe I blushed.

 

Maybe minjoo blushed too. I don’t know.

 

 

 

“okay i’m out of here now! gotta go back to my place and Yujin…” Yena tiptoed just to put her hand to my shoulder like she wants to say something important. “… i hope you let Minjoo bake the cake for your wedding”

 

 

What? I gave her confused look.

 

 

“your wedding with Minjoo” and she leaves us just like that. she left us in an awkward atmosphere.

 

 

 

I’m thinking of things to lighten it up by anxiously tapping my fingers on the counter.

 

 

“I’m a simple person and I like basic things so my favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate”

 

 

Minjoo let out a sigh, I don’t know what it means but she followed it with a smile.

 

 

“thank god i wouldn’t know what to react if you said mint chocolate”

 

I laughed and I think its the first time I ever laughed for a while not because I’m watching a comedy or Yena said a very unfunny joke.

 

 

 

I laughed. Minjoo laughed. We both laughed.

 

I laughed because I think I’m happy.

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of the day didn’t went well for me because my mind is over the place because of Minjoo.

 

When Minjoo left the shop I immediately hugged Yena like I just won the lottery and I bet Yena is surprised with what I did cause I don’t like showing physical affections.

 

I am happy. I feel happy.

 

 

I feel different today. I feel like a new person. I feel like finally I want to accomplish something in life.

 

I guess having another friend would be nice?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I skipped my way through the apartment. I happily hopped in the elevator and greet whoever is with me there. They looked shocked well very understandable if whole of my life here I just ignored them all.

 

And I happily skipped again all the way to my apartment.

 

 

Oh wait. I want to see Minjoo. I want to hear her voice. I want her to be my friend.

 

 

I rang her door bell twice. The door slowly opened. I can’t stop smiling. It welcomed me with Minjoo.. who isn’t smiling. I stopped smiling too.

 

 

She left the door open and walked away from me. ,aybe she wants me to go in?

 

So I did.

 

 

 

I looked around her apartment while walking in and even did a slow 360 spin just to take a better look.

 

 

“wow your place is nice—“

 

 

 

mMy whole body froze when I saw a garbage bag in front of me. Something spilled from the inside.

 

It was a box. The same box where Minjoo always puts her muffins when she gives it to me and it still has a muffin inside.

 

I can tell that its my garbage bag.

 

“what the have you been doing Yujin??? if you hated my muffins you could’ve just said it to me!!”

 

 

Minjoo is angry to me. I need a reason.

 

 

“w-what are you talking about??? i always eat your muffins! i even bring it to my work today you see??”

 

 

She wouldn’t believe of course. Wait I still have another one.

 

 

“and… you give muffins to everyone here. i swear its not me—“

 

 

“i only give muffins to you on normal days but yes i gave all of the tenants who live on this floor once but that was only in the day i moved in!”

 

. I’m such an . I deserved to be the one who’s thrown in the trash. and most importantly I’m a bad liar and I deserved a slap from Minjoo.

 

 

But she didn’t. She just pushed me out of her apartment— and I feel like she used all of power just to push me out.

 

 

“minjoo i’m very sorry—“

 

 

She slammed the door to my face. Its okay I deserved it. I deserved to be hated by Minjoo.

 

 

you Ahn Yujin.

 

 

 

~~

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I kept on thinking about ways to make it up to Minjoo.

 

I know even if I say a hundred sorrys its still not enough for Minjoo. She deserved more than that, more than just a sorry.

 

I slowly opened my door hoping to see a blue box and a note from Minjoo.

 

 

 

I should’ve expected something cause there was none. I guess she’s really mad at me and I’m such an again for still expecting something from her.

 

 

 

So I want to do everything just to earn her forgiveness. I called sick for work today, Yena shouted at me like she’s the boss and I promise to work hard twice tomorrow.

 

I want to do something. If Minjoo likes baking and she shares it with me by a muffin then should I do something I like too?

 

But what do I like?

 

Wait.

 

I enjoy cooking. I sometimes cook whatever in the ice cream shop’s kitchen and turn it into a meal whenever Yena and boss Eunbi is lazy to order some lunch. My last few jobs involves me cooking.

 

I like cooking. Should I cook Minjoo something? yes. Yes I should.

 

So I did cook her something. I cooked her a lasagna. One of the dishes I am really confident in cooking.

 

Although I should not expect her to accept it. What I should expect is slam her door at me again making the lasagna fly to my face.

 

That what I should expect cause I deserve it.

 

So here we go. Here’s go for nothing.

 

 

 

i rang the bell twice. and one more time, which makes it thrice. was going to rang it for the fourth time when the door suddenly opened revealing minjoo who seems like she just woke up.

 

and still mad at me of course.

 

 

“minjoo.. I’m really sorry. I’m an for doing all of that”

 

 

 

She just stared at me blankly. For the last time I need a good reason or else I’ll blew all the chances of being in good terms with Minjoo again.

 

Hold on.

 

 

 

“I’m really really really sorry Minjoo I should’ve told you that I’m…”

 

 

 

she was already slowly closing the door, she doesn’t want to hear from me anymore.

 

“i should’ve told you i’m allergic with eggs!”

 

 

 

She stopped. She swung the door wide open. Now she’s looking at me worriedly.

 

 

“and i know in baking egg is always one of the ingredients right? i’m really sorry minjoo i should’ve talk to you about it”

 

 

I think that was the most words I said to my neighbor for the whole time I was living here. My words are always cut short to five but now? it looks like I’m constructing an essay.

 

I was about to lose hope in asking for forgiveness when Minjoo finally speaks.

 

“its okay yujin” her voice was soft and had a mixture of worry in that tune. “and i’m sorry too if i was so harsh to you yesterday. I just had a bad day and…”

 

“now i want to fix your bad day. please accept this lasagna that i made for you this morning.”

 

 

Minjoo’s face slowly lits up. She is now smiling at me.

 

 

 

“okay… lets eat it together then??”

 

“i would love that”

 

 

 

And this is the first time I got invited and accepted it. The first time i eat in someone’s apartment and definitely won’t be the last.

 

As long as its Minjoo.

 

 

 

 

At the end of a day I made a new friend.

 

Kim Minjoo is her name. We finally know each other formally.

 

 

~~

 

 

Things with Minjoo are doing well. We became close friends in the span of two weeks. Our neighbor Jiwoo still couldn’t believe the change in personality that just happened to me.

 

Sometimes I would give Minjoo free ice cream secretly. Minjoo thinks its not okay cause what if my boss catches me but I just assure her that its fine.

 

 

 

 

 

A month has finally passed and things with Minjoo are doing great as I expected. I think we are inseparable now. I would always hangout to her apartment and she’d do the same thing to my apartment too.

 

 

I think Minjoo is growing inside of me, I think we are having a special connection that I just couldn’t distinguish it.

 

Definitely a different connection that I feel with Yena. The connection I had with Yena evolves in a way that I want her to be my sister and my partner in crime in everything.

 

 

 

But this connection with Minjoo its really different. Its like I want to keep staying with her all the time, I keep on missing her all the time, it irritates me whenever I don’t hear her voice.

 

 

 

what the hell is going on with me?

 

 

 

And who the hell is with Minjoo right now? a guy? She just walked in to the ice cream shop with a guy and it looks like they are discussing what flavor to buy.

 

I feel sick. My stomach is giving me weird sensations that I mi