yunho/boa | dear yunho.
the journal of blue skies and rainy days
yunho/boa | dear yunho | drabble | romance
dear yunho,
you scare me. you know me too well, and it scares me.
you can read me like a book -
worn-out pages, folded corners, with no need for a table of contents.
you know all my favorite things, my morning routine, my every schedule.
you look too closely, as if you are peering directly into my soul.
why do i even let you in if the vulnerability scares me?
old habits die hard, i guess.
in all honesty, i don't know what to think of you.
my best friend? a business acquaintance? someone in between?
(possibly more?)
i've decided not to put a label on what you are to me -
labels are overrated.
love, boa
dear yunho,
there's a question hanging in the air between us.
chances are, we are both well aware of it.
even here, i do not have the courage to write it out -
putting ink to paper seems too permanent, too concrete.
i hope you'll be okay with it. i hope you're not hurting too much.
forgive me, a girl who has no idea what she's doing
or how she's supposed to act.
tell me, dear, how am i supposed to feel?
what do you want me to feel?
love, boa
dear yunho,
i'm beginning to become a little paranoid.
every glance you throw in my direction, every prolonged gaze,
the way your voice softens when you talk to me...
(or am i just imagining all this?)
i would be lying to say that i don't like it.
(you are, after all, oh-so-special -
and did i mention, absolutely perfect?)
what scares me is the fact that i don't quite feel it yet,
if you know what i mean.
(you probably do.
you know me too well.)
love, boa
dear yunho,
don't you ever get tired of me? i'm not worth it.
now now, i know what you're gonna say:
you'll say that i'm totally fine, that i shouldn't be so -
self-deprecating -
but that is just how i am.
even so, you are still much, much better
(you have so much more potential.)
i think i'm very lucky.
what did i ever do to deserve you?
love, boa
dear yunho,
i hate how you are still a mystery to me.
sure, i can spill almost all my problems to you,
but i can never help you with yours.
i feel like you are hiding something, and i am afraid
of speculating what exactly that is.
i know you know that i am suspicious.
but we ban that course of thought into the deepest depths
of our hearts - the tension palpable, a delicate balance.
yet it is still calm, relaxed, comfortable. why risk a friendship
in return for answered questions and possible heartbreak?
perhaps it is better this way.
love, boa
dear yunho,
sometimes i wish that the butterflies would come.
that maybe if i go outside to a garden - a pretty one
with flowers in bloom and green grass
and perhaps a trickling fountain -
the butterflies there would fly straight into my stomach
and maybe my heart will beat more than usual
whenever i'm with you.
emotions cannot be forced,
but oh, how i hope and wish...
love, boa
dear yunho,
do you love me?
there, i have asked the question.
i have finally voiced out what i have wondered
all along.
maybe you have been suppressing it -
have i been over-speculating?
anyway, i just wanted you to know
that you don't have to hide anymore.
i'll be okay. i'm looking forward now,
not backwards, not dwelling in the past any longer.
would you be my new beginning?
love, boa
dear yunho,
i'm glad things have not been super awkward.
you have always been really resilient,
always optimistic, so upbeat, ever strong.
i admire that about you.
you're undeniably smart, talented in so many ways.
(i envy you, to be honest.)
thank you for always opening doors for me,
for walking me home especially when it's too dark,
for being my buddy in the good times and the bad.
i don't think i have ever been happier.
love, boa
dear yunho,
i think the butterflies finally came.
they have been flying in, one by one -
a little scurry here, and a little flutter there -
it feels painful at times, but overall, it feels nice.
is this how falling in love feels like?
love, boa
dear yunho,
everyday is like an adventure with you.
just walking side by side, with our shoulders
barely brushing each other, footsteps in unison.
i feel like we're invincible.
it's all good-natured camaraderie -
i have your back, and you have mine.
i am content with how things are - overjoyed, even.
hey, are you happy too?
(i can see you grin in reply, your low chuckle -
music to my ears.)
love, boa
dear yunho,
i dream of the day when you'll come up to me,
dressed in your everyday clothes,
with your hair just the way i like it,
with your nice smile gently sitting on your lips,
and take me somewhere - somewhere new,
somewhere exciting, somewhere like heaven.
one day, on a quiet afternoon, with the sun
shining brightly overhead - the kind of warmth
where we can practically feel ourselves getting darker,
and we'll laugh, and you'll lightly shove me (ouch).
it'll get hard to breathe - but in a good way.
then, after a while, we would cease our laughter,
and your eyes would get soft and serious,
and you would grab me by the shoulders,
staring straight at me, and you'll say,
"let's fall in love."
(and the birds sing out in cheer,
the blue skies rejoice,
and our hearts beat uncontrollably.)
love, boa
dear yunho,
perhaps later down the road, i will give you
this box of unsent letters.
these are too precious for me to let go of -
little mementos of our journey, lovely keepsakes.
one day, i'll let you read these, and we'll reminisce
together, nestled up on the couch in our pajamas.
but for now, just knowing you're here is enough.
do you think we'll get far?
(i think so, yunho. i really do.)
love, boa
a/n: more yunboa b/c perfection. Dedicated to Kimmie <3
Comments