the cosmos in the garden.

The storm brews as lightning and thunder make themselves known to the world, scaring an old lady already settled in her bed as the night slowly turns deeper within every second. The old lady grips the blankets tighter to keep her fear at bay, whimpering as she keeps her eyes closed, clenched, the same old feeling of unsettlement crawling through her skin all while she tries to have her blankets protect her. For a while, all stays like that, the old lady cowering in her own bed, hidden in her blankets, fists almost as white as her hair, trying to recall the story about the lovers that was once separated, the sole reason of the thunders and the lightnings, that her own grandmother had told her way back when she was a child.

The door opens and a hand pats the wall for the switch, a young lady appearing as light fills the room. The young lady examines the old woman in the bed for a while from the doorway, her lips slowly falling deeper as she sees how the blankets shake. She makes her way to the bed and sits on the side, staring at her hiding grandma.

"Grandma, I am here." She says softly but loud enough for the old woman to hear, cautious enough to not startle her grandmother. The blankets slowly lower as the old woman's head appears and when the young lady meets those hazel eyes, she smiles. The old woman’s heart slows down just a tad bit, the presence of the young woman calming her. The young woman reaches and caresses her grandma's hair, smiling softly as her grandma lets out her whole face from under the blankets.

"It is raining." The young lady nods at her grandma's statement.

"Yes, it is raining, grandma."

"Do you think my flowers in the garden would be fine?" The young lady looks far for a bit, trying to remember where her grandma's flowers were located in their garden as she has never visited that place that much, not much since she started growing up and had other thoughts occupying her head.

"Where are they again, grandma?" The person in the bed sits up, her hands still holding tightly on the blankets as the rain pelts against the roof noisily.

"Beside my sweet potatoes, dear."

Being one of the happy receivers of her grandma's famous sweet potatoes when she was young, Jisoo remembers where her grandmother plants her favourite root vegetables. "I am sure they are fine, grandma. They are beside your sweet potatoes after all."

The old woman nods her head, recalling the same words that she always says to Jisoo since she was young.

"Nothing bad would happen to any of them if they stay together." A smile grows on the old woman's face. Jisoo is right.

The storm continues to ravage outside the safety of their home, and as the thunder grows louder, Jisoo tells herself that she needs to stay in her grandmother's room. "Why are you not sleeping, dear?"

"It is thundering. I am afraid the last time will happen again so I went here to stay with you." Silence stays between the two women for a while, one contemplating whether it was wrong of her to mention the accident last time and the other recalling the said accident.

"I am thankful that you thought about me, Jisoo." A grateful smile decorates the old woman's face.

"Of course, grandma. I care about you." The thought of her parents leaves a bitter taste in Jisoo’s mouth, and so she tries pushing the notion of them out of her mind.

The thunder rolls once again and Jisoo sees how her grandma flinches when the sound rolls around.

"You can retire to bed, dear. Do not worry about me."

"I know you feel like a child about this, but I am never going to get to sleep alone in my room when you are scared alone, grandma." Jisoo makes her grandmother move a bit and she settles herself in the bed, turning to face her still sitting grandma. "So, why do we not just sleep like old times? Like when you would spend your night hugging me to sleep?"

A smile grazes Lee Chaeryeong's face. "Just like the old times it is."

As they settle in to sleep again, Chaeryeong remembers her white cosmos.

"They will be fine." She hugs her grandchild. "They are with my sweet potatoes."

 *

Accepting that you are old, and that you are not as strong as you used to be, is a hard thing to accept, even for Grandma Chaeryeong. Dubbed as the grandma of the group when she was still young, Chaeryeong never thought that the ache in her bones would get more painful than it usually would be. Though they cracked a lot of times during her adulthood, now that she is a retiree, they cracked more.

The thought makes Chaeryeong wistfully think of the memories and chuckle to herself. Those were the times.

"Grandma, are you really well enough to go visit Grandma Lia?" Jisoo asks as she helps the old woman get out of the car, holding Chaeryeong's arm.

"We are already here, Jisoo. There is no need to fuss about me every time we go." Chaeryeong retorts in a knowing tone, eyes already skimming the wide space in front of her. They start walking, Chaeryeong holding the flowers she bought personally for her best friend. The raucous laugh of the florist as she hands her her very specific bouquet of flowers still rings in Chaeryeong's ears, remembering how flabbergasted the florist was when she heard her order. She brings her flower arrangement of roses, white tulips, and carnations to her nose, the feeling of happiness flowing as the familiar scents marked their print in her head.

When they reach their designated spot, Jisoo unfolds the foldable chair that is meant for her grandma, the same chair she brings for Chaeryeong for 4 years every time they visit her best friend, Lia.

"It is a nice day today, is it not, Lia?" Chaeryeong looks around and lets the sun's heat touch her bare skin, wrinkled from time and experience. From looking up at the blue, bird-free skies, Chaeryeong falls her sight down to her best friend's tombstone, a picture of a smiling 24-year-old Lia smiling back at her and for a while, she remembers her moments with the jolly, always-laughing woman.

She smiles, a pensive one.

"I wonder what craziness you would have pulled up if you were here with me." Jisoo sits idly beside her grandmother but on the ground, listening as the old woman speaks to her best friend while staring at the tombstone of the woman her grandmother seemed so fond of.

Obviously, Jisoo had never gotten to meet this woman that lies right before her since Lia had died at the early age of 24, but that does not stop her from knowing her as there is the living mark that still lives holding her memories, that mark being her grandma. Jisoo knows much about Choi Julia, who most of the time liked to be called Lia, with how her grandma would always tell her things about her best friend, from how she smiles like the sun are in her eyes, how she laughs like the flowers would need them in order to grow, how she touches people with her compassion, to how she cares basically with anything and anyone. Jisoo can paint this woman's whole personality and traits with her grandmother's words.

"But…" The old woman leans and caresses the tombstone, a faint ghost of a sad but accepting smile appearing on her face. She remembers the reason why her friend had died. "you are happy there, are you not?"

Chaeryeong turns to look at the neglected tombstone located on the left side, seeing the almost disappearing eyes of this wide smiled maiden fair, picture almost tearing away with how no one had come to take care of it. "I mean, what more could you ask for? She is right here beside you."

Chaeryeong tries to stop herself from crying, and she calls for her granddaughter quietly. "Jisoo?"

"Yes, grandma?"

"Can you go and buy something to drink? I think I forgot to bring my own water tumbler." Jisoo looks around her grandma's place and she finally notices the absence of Chaeryeong's tumbler that she always bring with her.

"Will you be fine on your own?" The old woman never fails to feel appreciated whenever her granddaughter would worry about her. She sees herself in her in some way, and Chaeryeong wishes that she would only take her good qualities.

"Yes, I will be fine here. She is looking over me, she is not going to let anything happen to me."

"Stay here, and do not talk to anyone you do not know, okay?" Chaeryeong nods and watches her granddaughter brisk walk towards her car.

A loud sigh escapes the old woman's mouth and after staring at the clear sky for a while, she pulls herself up. She grabs her chair by the back and moves it closer to the other grave beside Lia's, sitting before it. "How are you, Yeji?"

Despite the pain starting to travel from the bottom of her spine as she stretches to wipe the dust off of the tombstone with her bare hands, Chaeryeong continues her work with a smile on her face. She had always been soft for the carrot girl. "You always forget to take care of yourself."

"How are you supposed to take care of Lia, then?" Her smile turns from light to faded, her hands slowly lowering from doing her ministrations, her eyes looking at the stone with a dreary look . "I hope you are having a good time with her wherever you are."

"Tell me," Chaeryeong faces Lia. "Are you riding motorbikes and travelling across countries just like you have always wanted?"

"Are you laughing freely, with your smiles reaching your cheeks that hide your eyes? Are you having picnics on peaceful lands, holding each other's hands, just like the dreams you have dre---"

"Excuse me," The sudden voice breaks Chaeryeong from remembering her friend and her girlfriend's wishes. "Do you know my Grandma Yeji?"