In the deepest darkest part of the woods there is a river full of the most beautiful pebbles. Around that river is an array of flowers that only grow on this side of the continent. Sometimes looking at these flowers reminds me no matter how dark, how dangerous, how hurtful I become that there is a light side, that there is a better purpose to my actions. 

I met the boys who would become brothers to me when I was just 18. I had been abandoned by my mother at the age of 5 and forced to live on the streets, ocassionally finding shelter in abandoned railroad cars. She claimed I was too dangerous to be around my two brothers, although I’m honestly not sure what that meant. 

For the next 13 years I was in and out of abandoned homes, working multiple jobs when I could and in need of a friend. I had finally saved up enough money by the time I was 14 to afford a phone which helped me in turn get more jobs so that I could potentially rent out an apartment. Before I could do that though I found 6 people who meant the most to me in the world. 

The first one I met was Namjoon. He worked at the gas station just up the road from the cafe where I worked on the weekends. I had just stopped in for a bottle of water after having walked almost 6 miles from the train car I was currently living out of. He waved at me as he was pumping gas for Mr. Jung Saeyong, the richest man in Seoul, the richest man in most of South Korea at that. After grabbing my water I headed back outside. Namjoon was sitting on the curb alone waiting for someone to pull up. Instead he waved me over. I obliged and found myself sitting next to him and engaging in a conversation that made me late to work for the first time ever. 

This routine continued for a few weeks until he invited me to a campfire with him and a few of his friends. Those friends would turn out to be Taehyung and Jimin, two 15 year olds who grew up poor. Namjoon had taken them in to his own apartment, a small studio that was built on the edge of the town near the railroad. I had only really been there a few times but it was quaint and quiet for being near the trains. Jimin was very upbeat and seemed to be constantly smiling. Tae however was different. He would smile and have fun with us sure but there was clearly something else going on with him that he wouldn’t talk about. Occasionally I would catch him staring off and I always wondered what was going on in that head of his. 

I met Hoseok around October at a part that one of Jimin’s school friends was hosting. He was a Junior in high school, one of the most popular in fact. He was very smart and kind and nothing like any of the high schoolers I had met at the cafe. I instantly took to him and he became part of our group.

I finally met Jungkook and Yoongi the day after my 18th birthday when they came into the cafe. At first I thought they were brothers, but they were just very close. They had said they recognized me from a few weeks ago walking to work. They had debated with each other about picking me up but decided against it. Yoongi was almost my age, Junkook was just 13. They came into the cafe for the next 3 days straight just to talk to me. That’s when I decided they should be a part of my group of friends, and so it was. 

The 7 of us became inseparable over the years. Eventually living with each other off and on. I had spent a lot of time living with Jimin and Hoseok. Namjoon and Tae eventually moved together near the sea. Yoongi and Jungkook didn’t live far from me and I spent the most time at their apartment. 

However, as time went on I began to have visions, some of which were more like dreams as they took place while I was asleep. These visions started out extremely vague, mostly just colors moving across my eyes. But over time they became more and more detailed and I began to see shapes, even faces. I never told anyone about these visions, perhaps that’s how it got so bad. 

My mother was right about me. I was too dangerous to be around my brothers, and now I live a life of regrets while they sit and hurt.