"Shshhhh! This has to be a surprise. No one. Like, literally no one can know about it. Okay?"

"Yeah, but--"

"You gotta promise me!"

"Okay, I can do that, but don't forget how this went the last few times! Every time it's only us two involved, things go real wrong... I'm still trying to get images of thongs and ripped anuses out of my head, man. If only someone else knew too...?"

"No!" Donghae whispers, his voice almost pitched into a bite-sized scream. "No. One. Else. Can. Know." He waits for three beats as he glares into his friend Ryeowook's eyes, the other man not moving an inch. With an air of frustration, Donghae s his right arm out, snatches Ryeowook's right hand with his left one, and forces them together in the clasp of a handshake. "Deal." He says, forming a 'Decision is final' pout with his mouth.

Ryeowook exhales smooth and slow. "Okay, whatever you say."

Yes, Donghae thinks and turns on his heel, Yes-the- it is. 

Today is Hyukjae's birthday which is, in translation, the one day Donghae gets to do whatever the hell he wants in order to please his very best friend. No one else gets the privilege, and that makes something sweet blossom in Donghae's heart every 4th of April, as well as plenty of the days leading up to it. In fact, Hyukjae's birthday preparations are always left to Donghae (Fuck, I'd cut a if they tried) and have been since the two were fourteen years old. No one gets Hyukjae like Donghae does. No one knows all his favorite and least favorite things. Not even anyone can get on Hyukjae's nerves like Donghae can -- a fact which Donghae himself holds dear to his heart.

And finally, Donghae is sure that no one, not even his mother, loves Hyukjae the way he does.

So, every birthday, he searches for the best possible things that could show Hyukjae just what he means to him. Three years ago, Donghae pooled money with Ryeowook to rent a yacht for a birthday bash on the sea! Donghae had invited everyone he could think of, including Hyukjae's oldest childhood friends, as much as it hurt him to do it. ing Kim Junsu. The day had started out perfect. Hyukjae gave him such a long and tight hug that Donghae thought he must have transformed into one of Hyukjae's very own moles, he felt so attached to him. Just when he thought he could stay in his best friend's arms forever--

The goddamn yatch starts going down.

Turns out, he and Ryeowook had rented the yacht from a shady business man who bought cheap, mostly broken down yachts, prettied them up with nice decor, and rented them out to unsuspecting losers like Ryeowook and Donghae. That boat was never supposed to make it past the dock. It was only after everyone ended up soaking wet with damaged cell phones, tablets, and smart watches that Donghae heard from Siwon that he had just three days prior bought his own yacht and was looking for a day to show it off...

Needless to say, Hyukjae was pissed. But what he said next is what Donghae loves about him: "Don't feel bad, Hae. It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known that this death trap was only for show. I had a great time! Let's just crash Siwon's yacht next time because he'll forgive us no matter what we do." Siwon didn't hear that part, but Donghae laughed too loud anyway, covering up Hyukjae's evil plan just how Hyukjae was covering for his mistake.

The next birthday, Donghae vowed to never make such a rookie mistake again. Until he enlisted Ryeowook's help for a surprise birthday party for Hyukjae at a safari experience abroad. This time, Hyukjae had said, "No way, Hae!! You got us tickets to Africa, are you crazy?!"

When he wrapped his arms around Donghae's waist and hoisted him a couple inches off his feet, Donghae truly felt like he was soaring high above the clouds already. "Y-Yeah," Donghae had replied, breathy to his own ears.

"You're freaking awesome, man. Thank you. This is gonna be the best birthday ever."

It was a fine birthday, at first. Hyukjae had squealed like a baby upon seeing a real-life hippopotamus bathing in a pond of muddy waters. He mimicked the roar of a lion as it perched on its rock, staring down from it at the little group of humans touring its jungle in an open-door Jeep. Hyukjae even reached across the seat and squeezed Donghae's shoulder when they drove past a few massive elephants, a happy smile frozen on his face. Donghae squealed a little himself right then. He just wondered if Hyukjae knew what his squeal was for.

Everything was fine... until Ryeowook announced quietly from the back seat that they had gone off course, according to the map Donghae had drawn out with the tour guide.

"Okay, well how far off?" Donghae had asked.

"I mean, like, all the way off. So far off that I don't know where to turn so we can go back." Ryeowook ran his hand over his forehead. He was sweating. "I think we're lost out here."

And just like that, Hyukjae shouted, "What the do you mean?!" which startled some nearby antelope which were tragically being stalked by two nearby cheetahs and who, all at once, flew toward the trio of foreigners' open-door jeep at a frightening speed. 

All hell broke loose.

"Oh my ing, God -- Go, go, go, go!!!" Hyukjae started shouting. Ryeowook was screeching in the backseat, kicking Donghae's backrest. Donghae peeled off, driving as fast as he could, but: A. No one knew where he was going. B. The wildlife were fast as all hell and were gaining on them fast. and C. Donghae was crying tears befitting death, so he couldn't really tell left from right, anyway.

To make a long story short, the tour guide of the African safari had followed the idiot foreigners because he'd been rightfully worried about their safety and managed to save them from a very sticky situation. Again, Donghae vowed to never make such a bad mistake again.

Just like he did at Hyukjae's previous birthday in 2021. Well... what else could he remember besides thongs and ripped anuses? Ryeowook couldn't have summed it up any better.

I am redeeming myself this year, no matter what! Donghae thinks as he walks into a paintball gun store. Hyukkie will remember this birthday forever and he'll love me for it, too. I'm sure of it.

Forty minutes later, Donghae breathes outdoor air again, both arms heavy with high-grade paintball guns, blue, white, and pink paint balls, face shields, and colored name tags. He hurries over to Siwon's house where he meets Ryeowook to start preparations for the surprise party.

"You still don't think we should have told Siwon that we'd be using his house for the surprise party?" Ryeowook asks. There's that doubtful look in his eye that Donghae despises.

"Dude, we've gone over this! No one else can know about this, okay? More people means a spoiled surprise. Give it a rest!"

"But I'm saying--" Donghae sighs. Ryeowook presses on, "I'm saying. We're shooting paint balls. Inside his house. Without his permission..."

"And I'm saying he'll be fine with it. Besides, look at all the plastic we put up everywhere to protect everything. Don't you think that'll be enough?"

Ryeowook frowns, but nods his head. "Guess I'll go with you on this and see what happens."

"Damn straight, you will." Donghae agrees and continues strapping on his paintball gear.

By the time he finishes lacing up his padded vest and making sure his face guard fits snuggly over his head and face, he and Ryeowook hear Siwon's front door alarm being disarmed and the front door opening. A large, excited smile breaks out over Donghae's face as he hears two sets of footsteps and two distinct voices approaching the downstairs livingroom. 

Hyukkie. He thinks and scuttles over to stand a little ways behind the door. Ryeowook comes to stand near him so now both men were separated from the door by a clear glass board. They stand several meters behind it and aim their paintball guns at the clear board when they hear Siwon and Hyukjae right outside the door.

"Ready?" Donghae whispers to Ryeowook.

"Ready." Ryeowook replies. 

When the door finally swings open, Donghae and Ryeowook let it rip. Several rounds of paintballs blaze through the air and slap onto the glass board set up right at the entrance to the living room. Above it all, Hyukjae's and Siwon's screams pierce the room, adding flavor to the steady blasts of the paintball guns. When the two men in full paintball gear have emptied their guns and lower their weapons, the make bewildered eye contact with the other two men in the room who are now on the floor and shaking like breaking pebbles. 

Hyukjae's eyes are bulging. Siwon's mouth is hanging open. Silence passes between the four for thirty entire seconds before someone decides to speak up. It's Donghae.

He throws his arms up in the air, jumping as the paintball gun goes clattering to the ground. "Surprise, Hyukkie!" He shouts, "Happy ing 36th birthday, dude!" 

"Sur-Surprise, Hyukjae!" Ryeowook shouts but fades into a mumble. Donghae wants to bodyslam him for not being enthusiastic enough about his Hyukkie's birthday party, but he holds himself back. Instead, he attacks Ryeowook for another reason.

"Hyukjae? No, , you call him 'Eunhyuk.' You don't know him well enough to call him Hyukjae."

"What the? I've known him for like fifteen years--"

"Aaand moving on..." Donghae returns his gaze to a still shell-shocked Hyukjae who has yet to move from his position on the floor. "Surprised, Hyukkie? Like my present?"

Hyukjae begins shaking his head. It's slow at first, then it increases in speed. This confuses Donghae. Alarms him. Does he not like it? he thinks and bites his lips together as he waits for whatever words to come out of Hyukjae's mouth.

"What... in the ACTUAL HELL is going on here?!" Hyukjae shouts. He's looking through the glass board at Donghae. "Take off the shield, man!"

Donghae frowns, taking off the head gear. "I thought you would love it!"

"I thought you were trying to kill us!"

"We wanted to surprise you!"

"Hae, you look like ing assassins!"

"Frankly, you act like ing assassins!" Siwon shouts as he stands up.

"Shut up!" Donghae screams, "No one asked you. It's Hyukjae's day."

"It's my house, you !"

"Get a life!"

"Until the day comes when you and your weird birthday surprises end it!"

"That day might come sooner than later." Donghae mumbles, and that's when Hyukjae pops Donghae's forehead with his middle finger nail.

"Stop arguing with Siwon, Hae. It's fine."

"The hell it is!" Siwon cries and looks around at his house all covered in plastic. His sigh is so loud that it bounces off the walls in echo. "I'm calling the police next time."

"Honestly, can't blame you..." Ryeowook whispers. He then walks over to Siwon's kitchenette to pour himself a drink, without asking the owner's permission. Once Siwon follows with a deep frown on his face, Donghae beams a smile at Hyukjae, who looks a little bit like he swallowed a sour lemon. When Donghae sees what he's looking at, his happiness deflates a little bit.

That's not the face I want you to be making right now, he thinks. Hyukjae moves to stand directly in front of the glass board once more and looks at his with a scrutinizing gaze. Donghae follows him. For a whole minute, Hyukjae folds his arms and says nothing. Meanwhile, Donghae is beginning to sweat.

"Well, say something, why don't you!!" Donghae cries. He feels his heart going crazy in his chest.

Hyukjae turns to Donghae a bit and stares at him like he's never seen him before. Donghae doesn't know if this is the first time he's seeing his best friend for who he really is -- and not in a good way -- or if he's seeing his best friend as the one true thing his life has always been missing.

Donghae hopes to hell it's the second one.

"Hae... Is this my present?"

The glass board had paintballs on one side and was clear on the other. Donghae and Ryeowook had shot out a massive heart, half blue and half white. Inside, dotted in pink paint were the words:

"I love you, little bastard. 

- Yours..."

And Donghae had hoped that the Yours, Donghae, was naturally applied in this situation.

For the first time in a long time, Donghae is hesitant to answer Hyukjae. "Yeah... It's yours... If you want it to be."

The next few moments are what Donghae is sure he'll never forget in his entire life.

And it was supposed to be Hyukjae's birthday.

4/4/22 @ 9:00p.m.

Hi, ya'll! I said this was a drabble. HA! Told you that would never work for me, but whatever. I'll probably change the Foreword and call this a oneshot instead...

I hope you liked this little story. I thought of it, sat down, and wrote it all out in a little over 2 hours. Pretty good for me, the Procrastination Queen. Let me know how you like it, please! Leave a comment and tell me if you'd like more of these kinds of stories hehe Until then...

Have a Great Day! \(^.^)/