Some things in Yu Rim's life have always been facts.

One of those facts: she's never had close friends of her own.

From that fact also arises another: she's never had anyone to be physically close to besides her parents.

As time wore on, people around her were too likely to be a mixture of competition and admirer to ever be truly close to. By then, she'd become mostly used to her reality: her parents were all the love she needed at the end of the day, and Yijin-oppa was a good friend while he could. And she had Injeolmi.

Having Injeolmi was what forced Yu Rim to first realize what it means to be able to reach out to someone and touch them - if only because she really couldn't if she wanted to this time. Knowing she had someone there meant more than she'd like to admit, but as the years go by, she sometimes needs to sit by her mother and hug her, help with the tight knot in her chest from conversations about wanting to be there for each other.

Now, though... It's Hee Do.

If Yu Rim stops to think about it, one could probably say that Na Hee Do is her own mix of Yu Rim's competition and fan as well. That should mean it'd be difficult to be close to her too, and yet... Hee Do is so much more than either of those things. A combination of her own. She has been ever since she was just Injeolmi to Yu Rim, and now that she is truly herself, Yu Rim had only needed to accept it.

Now they could be there for each other. Completely.

It'd been hard at first, considering all they had to get over. Yu Rim still catches herself thinking of words Injeolmi had said before sometimes, needing to put Hee Do's voice to them, and having the realization that she knows now what Hee Do would look like while saying them.

She knows what Hee Do looks when frustrated, and she knows what she looks like angry. She's seen her pensive, has seen her giddy, has caused her to look hurt. She’s seen how her face crinkles when she laughs, heard how teasing her voice gets when she's joking at her expense, and felt how tight her hugs can be.

It had progressed without her thinking about it. Their tentative touches to get each other's attention and awkward brushing of elbows and hands when doing things together evolves into firm holds during practices, sure touches to check injuries, automatic high fives for celebrations.

Hugs aren't reserved for tearful affairs only: they become greetings, "see you later"s, and "good job"s.

Yu Rim thinks that the true reason for this is not so much that Yu Rim sinks into it, but rather how heartily Hee Do welcomes her in.

She wonders if this is truly what friendships with skinship are like, then quickly stops wondering because it doesn't matter. What matters is how Hee Do accommodates her without a second thought; how easily Yu Rim fits against her side, and how naturally Hee Do cradles her in her arms.

She knows now how nice it is to have someone to rest against during exhausting practice bouts, someone to go buy food with arm in arm, someone to hold hands with just because . Someone who will almost knock you over when laughing, and who will reach out to you by default to share something fun with. It feels like Hee Do's infected Yu Rim with her casualness - she doesn't even think about these things anymore. She just lives them.

Until, of course, it has to end. 

Everything she'd accumulated and stored happily away in her chest she has to let go of again.

She never wanted their hugs to be so filled with tears once more, but here she is on Hee Do's couch and Hee Do's arms. Here she is, needing to leave.

***

Hee Do brings them into her bedroom so that Yu Rim can rest a little and calm down. And yeah, so that she can stay for as long as possible with her.

She didn't want her mother to come in and interrupt what time they had left just the two of them, so she'd turned off her lights so it looked like she was sleeping. The light coming in from the window is enough to make out each other's features and talk quietly in any way.

They face each other in the bed. Yu Rim hadn't let go of Hee Do's hand since lying down, gathering it in her grip and holding it close to herself under her chin.

Hee Do lets her and uncharacteristically swallows the entire barrage of feelings and words that come up. It's no use to say how unfair this all is, nor to get angry. They both know well enough already.

Their shins brush as Hee Do adjusts herself, their legs almost intertwined to allow them to lie close to each other and whisper wishes back and forth.

"When we get to Madrid," Hee Do says quietly, "we'll spar again."

Yu Rim nods, forehead almost touching Hee Do's as she does. The pain in her eyes had dimmed enough to be joined by a look of dejection that causes a new spark of indignation in Hee Do. Yu Rim was never like this. How dare the world be this callous?

Yurim's eyes start drooping, and the indignation is replaced by something she can't even name. Like a fondness that hurts more the longer it stays.

"Yu Rim-ah," Heedo calls quietly, reaching out to her hip with her free hand. "You can't fall asleep."

Actually, she could. Hee Do would let her sleep, and she'd watch over her and make sure she got a warm and safe night of sleep before having to go. She'd wake her up and take her to the airport herself if she had to. As long as it'd give Yu Rim as much comfort as she could possibly fit in the hours they had left. 

As long as it would give Hee Do more time.

She's not that selfish though. She can't quite manage to bring herself to steal that from Yu Rim's parents, nor from Yu Rim herself, so she shakes her gently.

"Hmm," Yu Rim sighs, blinking her eyes open lazily. They're still heavy, but she looks back at Hee Do. "You're right."

"I'm always right," Hee Do says with a small smile. The smile grows when she sees Yu Rim's expression grow skeptical. "What, tell me one thing I was ever wrong about."

"Injeolmi," Yu Rim says promptly, like an . "You really thought I was Yijin-oppa?"

"Ughhh." She shouldn't hit her sad, sad friend, right? "You put me in the worst position that day!"

Yu Rim giggles, and Hee Do's lips can't help twitching into a smile.

"I still don't know what you did that was so bad," Yu Rim says, tugging her back closer.

"You don't have to know." Hee Do says at once. "No, really."

"As long as you don't think another tall handsome guy is me next time we meet," Yu Rim says with a chuckle, poking at the frown on Hee Do's forehead before hugging her hand again to her chest.

Next time. So sure.

Wait-

"Handsome?" Hee Do asks when it hits her. "Pfft. As if. I might confuse you with a tourist Ahjumma if you don't keep wearing your sunscreen though."

Yu Rim clearly doesn't believe her for a second. She does seem to be hit by something that dims her smile again though, cheerfulness short-lived.

"What?" Hee Do prompts quietly. She can't make out what it is.

"You have to make it," Yu Rim says, voice choked up. "I need you there."

Hee Do is hit again with a pang in her chest. She needs her too, but she needs her right here. She tries and fails to keep her voice level when she replies: "I will."

Yu Rim's eyes fill up with tears, but she nods.

"Yu Rim-ah..."

Hee Do doesn't know what to say. She means her promise, and she's sure of it. She'd made it once and she'll do it again, no matter what she has to do. It simply is not a possibility that she won't.

The problem is the in-between.

"We spent three years chatting online," Hee Do insists. "One year will pass by a lot quicker."

Yu Rim swallows heavily and nods, playing with Hee Do's fingers still in her grip. "I'm..." She says, then hesitates, looking down between them. "I'll miss this." She tightens her hold on Hee Do's hand. "Thank you. For showing me how nice this can be."

God. Hee Do swallows thickly to keep herself together. Yu Rim seems to be trying to keep herself from crying again too, her face lowered, and Hee Do can't give herself the luxury of breaking if she wants to comfort her.

"You don't know how grateful I am too," Hee Do manages to say finally, voice shaking only slightly.

Yu Rim's breathing hiccups. Hee Do presses closer still. She closes the gap between them so she can press her lips to Yu Rim's forehead gently.

She wants to put all her tenderness into this kiss, wants to imprint it onto Yu Rim so that it stays with her and comforts her for as long as it takes for them to meet again. Wants to remember it too, cherish how warm she is against her, the smell of her shampoo, the presence of her.

She doesn't know if she succeeds, but when she pulls back and presses her forehead against Yu Rim's, no tears are running down her face. Instead, Yu Rim gives her a smile: small, sad, but genuine.

***

So this is what it's like to not say the things you want.

"Wow," Hee Do admits out loud, "for once I actually get Ji Woong."

They're standing outside her house in the chilly night air, waiting for the taxi she'd called for Yu Rim. She hears her own past words mocking her in her head: you don't want to leave anything left unsaid. You'll regret it.

Yu Rim looks up at her curiously from where she's glued to her side hugging her arm.

"Nevermind," Hee Do says with a sigh. She can see her breath cloud up the air in front of her.

There isn't enough time, anyway. She can see a car turning into her street a couple of blocks away - it can only be their taxi at this late an hour of the night, so she tugs Yu Rim to stand in front of her, building herself up to let her go.

"I can come to help you pack tomorrow," she tells her as she fixes Yu Rim's hair away from heer face.

"It's okay," Yu Rim says with a smile. "Mom has already done most of it to stay distracted."

Maybe not, then.

"I'll come early," Hee Do says then. "I can wait with you until you go through security."

"Hee Do-ya..."

She promptly goes mum. Yu Rim sighs and takes both of Hee Do's hands in her own.

"I don't want it to feel like a long goodbye." Yu Rim says frankly. "It'd just be stalling."

Hee Do wants to say it's not stalling. That she's not just trying to make up anything that could give her - give them - a little bit more time. But she'd be lying, and Yu Rim would know.

"Fine. Be all wise and ," she grumbles.

Yu Rim giggles, like she expected nothing else from her, and tugs at her hands to bring her close into a hug.

Hee Do swallows thickly as she wraps her arms around Yu Rim's waist tightly, bringing them into as tight a hug as she can. She inhales sharply as Yu Rim clutches her around her ne