It’s funny sometimes.

How people can go over the tall walls of morality and saneness for someone they could just easily pass by a street or a mall, in any day, just because of some stupid thing called love.

Really, it’s not making any sense.

For me, I wonder every day how I turned from a person thinking like that, to being like that. From someone oblivious to the ups and downs of love, of the highs and lows, of the happiness and sadness, of the pleasure and pain, of the safety and danger, to just throwing herself into anything, just for the sake of love.

Stupid or not, I can admit that love is powerful.

When it has you by the neck, don’t expect to ever get out of its hold.

It’s a silent dictator, an assassin hidden amongst the tallest towers with eyes set and targeted upon you, whispering their measly orders on a walkie-talkie for you to do.

I can only chuckle by myself as I keep myself curled up on that same corner of my old, dusty room, the same corner I find myself in whenever my heart aches too much that I can’t even keep the whines and the cries to myself.

It was naïve of me to let myself be fooled into this spiraling, toxic love.

“I’m sorry Chuu, but I don’t love you anymore.” Anyone foolish in love would hurt if they hear these words, but I have been hearing these words ever since the start that it doesn’t even make me cry anymore. I am too numb and immune to it that every time I hear it slip from the mouth of the woman I had dreamt of marrying, I tend to love it more than hate it.

Seems like even the negative things that the woman my heart beats for has, I tend to love.

It’s pitiful, it’s self-deprecating, it’s bad for me.

To love someone’s shortcomings, to love the bad things that they do, to love the things that they say that hurt you, it’s crazy.