If there is one thing I hate about December, it’s the holiday season. Andy Williams was wrong, it’s not the most wonderful time of the year. I hate it. Well, I used to love the holiday season as I will be spending time with my family. Until something happened two years ago, until Chorong happened.

I have been living in the Philippines since I was twelve. Because of work, my family decided to move in here but two months later, they went back to South Korea when my mom landed on a better paying job. My sister and my parents are the only ones who flew back home, I stayed here.

At first, it was my parents who insisted that I stay and finish high school here. But after I graduated, I chose to stay here, get my business degree, and occasionally visit my aunt who moved in here after marrying a local.

The weather is good, people are nice, and I didn’t feel the pressure I used to feel back in Seoul. Of course, I have seen the ugly side of this country too, but this place has become my home, that my papers are now being processed to become a naturalized citizen.

But I’ll definitely have a long discussion with my parents once they find out. They always told me that I will be back in South Korea for good sooner and later. They weren’t wrong though, but that was two years ago.

Three years ago, just like any other holiday, I spent it with my family in Seoul and that’s when I met Chorong, my family’s newly moved in neighbor. Because she was living alone, my parents invited her over for Christmas dinner and that’s how it all started.

At first, it was a casual conversation. Later on, she offered to accompany me with my errands which I didn’t mind. Because of that, we became attached to the hips, and we started dating. Until holiday is over, and I needed to go back to the Philippines.

But we keep our relationship. The time difference isn’t of a big a deal since she is just an hour ahead of mine. We’d talk over the phone, chat during our free time, and video call during the weekends. Our long-distance relationship was pretty strong, or maybe, it was just me who thought it was.

It was November and I decided to fly back to Seoul a month earlier from the holidays to surprise her, except for, it was me who was surprised. I snuck into her house, used the keys she gave me, and as soon as I opened her bedroom door, my heart sank as I saw her peacefully and ly sleeping in the arms of another woman.

I didn’t confront her about this, but I also cut ties with her after that day. Because of that, she started claiming that I ghosted her but Yonghee, my sister, had enough and told her about what I witnessed that day. Chorong wanted to reconnect with me, at one point, she was planning to come here in the Philippines, but I refused to talk to her. There is nothing to talk about. No, I didn’t get it wrong, and it is what it seems to be. There is no excuse in cheating.

Living in a different country did help me move on from her. I don’t get to see her often, and managing my school is keeping me busy. But that’s all temporary because every December, I’ll be back to Seoul, I’ll see her face whenever I’m having my morning coffee in the porch and will be reminded of that awful chapter of my life.

I put the last pair of clothes in my luggage, locked it and pushed the bag on the other side of the room. It’s only for two weeks, I can survive that, hopefully.

The next day, December 20th, after arranging my bags, I called my aunt and his husband who’s driving me to the airport. You can say that I am very close to them because they treat me like their daughter (They didn’t have children by choice and that’s okay).

My uncle’s black SUV parked in front of the condominium’s entrance, and I heard my aunt calling me, “Yongsun, did you pack everything you needed?” I nodded. “Your plane ticket, Passport, phone charger—”

“Everything is in the bag auntie.” I hug her side and lead her to the car while my uncle loads my luggage in the compartment. “I got everything I need. Don’t worry.” I assured her.

It took us approximately half an hour to reach the airport. Luckily, it wasn’t rush hour, so we didn’t encounter heavy traffic along the way. Inside the car, I can notice how uncomfortable my aunt was, and I know it has something to do with me flying back to Seoul.

During the holidays two years ago, she got into an argument with her sister, my mom about me flying back to Seoul. She knew everything about Chorong. She knew how ecstatic I was during the relationship, as well as the hell I’ve been through. She doesn’t want to risk me seeing Chorong, especially when the wounds aren’t fully healed but she can’t do much since it was my ‘Family’s tradition’.

After helping my uncle in placing my luggage in the airport trolley, I hugged them and thanked the couple for driving me. But before I went inside, my aunt told me, “I made three reservations for you in a nice restaurant in Gangnam. I’ll send you the confirmation emails later, also the details.”

I smiled at her and kissed her cheeks. “Thanks auntie. You really are the best.” I perfectly know that this reservation is her way to comfort me whenever I would feel ‘something’ while I’m in Seoul since she can’t be physically there for me. “You really love spoiling me, don’t you?” I joked when I saw tears are threatening to fall from her eyes. “Hey, I’ll be okay. I will call you every day, I promised. And I’ll be back in less than three weeks so don’t miss me too much.”

Even if I was living along in my condominium, my uncle and aunt would visit me frequently. And by frequently, I mean every day. We will either eat the dinner they prepared during in my home or have a fancy supper at their newly discovered restaurants and hotels.

“You know she will always miss you even if you call her every day.” My uncle chuckled. “Anyways, we better get going before your aunt bawl her eyes out.” This time, his joke earned a punch on his arm from his wife.

“Why would I even cry” My aunt rebutted, as if she wasn’t getting emotional at our goodbyes. She turned to me and hugged me one last time “Send my regards to your mom and dad, and Yonghee.”

“Of course.” I smiled at her and went inside the airport. After checking in my luggage and going through the whole process with the customs, I sat in the waiting area near my designated gate. I took my phone and browse through the internet and see what’s going on, and what should I be expecting as soon as I arrived in Seoul.

I waited for roughly forty-five minutes before I heard my flight number being announced through the speaker.

…Calling all passengers travelling to South Korea on flight PR417 please have your boarding passes and passports ready for boarding. Flight PR417 now boarding at gate 2…

I glanced at the gate and saw people starting to lineup. The only time I stood up and get into the queue was when I noticed there were less people in. I handed the airline crew my boarding pass and passport and after they have validated it, I walked in. I’ll be back in Seoul in less than four hours. I am ing excited (note the sarcasm in there).

If only I could slow down time, I would because the next thing I knew after I woke up from my nap is that we have landed in Incheon International airport. I exited the plane and head towards the baggage carousel to collect my luggage. Once done, I went to the arrival hall while dialing my sister’s number.

“Just landed, where are you?” I asked her, scanning around to see any signs of Yonghee.

“Wait, I can’t see you, are you in—oh wait there you are!” I heard on the line then I saw her on my far-right side, waving her hands. I disconnected the call and walked towards her.

“Small Yong!” she exclaimed and engulfed me with a bone crashing hug.

“I miss you too,” I said, trying to free myself from her. “Now that it’s settled, can we go home. I’m really tired.”

She released me and took one of my bags. “I have a strong feeling that my gift is in this bag.” She smirked, pushing my suitcase.

“I haven’t had time to buy gifts back home,” And soon as the word home escaped my lips, there was a frown drawn into her face. They hate that. “I’ll just do my usual last minute Christmas shopping and get you the watch you wanted.” I tried to cheer her up.

“It has to be the recently released one.” Her face brightens up.

We got home around 6PM and that was a good thing for me since Chorong usually comes home at 7ish, if she still has the same schedule. It means I still have an hour to hang out in our porch and avoid any chances of seeing her.

After greeting my mom and dad, and settling my stuff inside my old room, I went back to the kitchen and took the wine they have been keeping in the cabinet. I went out and sat on the patio with my stolen wine.

Being here in Seoul is really strange for me. I know I was born here and raise on this city, my hangul is still perfect, I knew where the nearest market is or the cheapest gopchang restaurant, but this place never actually felt like home. My home isn’t in Seoul.

But how can I make my family understand what I feel? If I tell them about my papers, my mom will definitely cry, and dad may disown me. I know that sounds ridiculous but when we had this conversation years ago, they thought if I get to be a naturalized citizen, I will stop being part of the family.

I opened the bottle of wine and start pouring into my glass. I was so invested with my thoughts that I didn’t notice someone was approaching our gate.

“Yongsun, you’re here.” I looked up and saw a smiling idiot standing in front of our gate. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked her as I approach our gate.

“I just happen to be in this part of Seoul and saw a familiar face,” she quipped. “I’m here to see you, stupid! Yonghee unnie told me your coming home so I though I’ll pay you a visit. Can I come in?”

I think we were talking loudly that it alarmed my family, so my dad went out to see who am I talking to. “Byul-ah! Nice to see you again, Yongsun open the gate.” He told me as if I wasn’t doing it.

My mom also went out and after exchanging warm greetings with Byul, they went back inside the house, leaving me and my childhood best friend, Moonbyul.

“I’m here to bring your present.” She smiled sheepishly and handed me an envelope.

Byul has always been that thoughtful friend and our friendship goes along way back. And when I moved into the Philippines, we will be writing letters to each other, that’s until cellphone and internet was a thing. And whenever I’m here for the holidays, she would drop by with a present.

I opened the enveloped and read the through it. Honestly, I thought this was prank specially seeing that hamster smirk on her face. “You’re bullting me.” I said and threw the card on her face.

The card hit her face before falling on the ground. She picked it up before grabbing my glass to drink the wine I prepared for myself. “I swear, it’s true!”

“I thought you’re not the marrying type?” I snatched the card from her hands and read it again. Unbelievable.

A wedding invitation featuring Moon Byul-Yi and Ahn Hye-Jin…

These words were written in gold, and upon further inspection, their invitation looked like one of those concert tickets. The date and venue were written on the bottom of the invitation as well.

“You’re coming, right?” She asked in a serious tone.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” The wedding is set two months from now and by that time, I will be back in the Philippines. But I can always book flights to Seoul and attend my friend’s wedding. “So, who’s this unfortunate woman you’re marrying?”

She punched my arm, taking offense with my joke. “Ya! She’s not unfortunate. And you already met her, Hwasa!”

“Oh Hwasa!” I exclaimed, remembering the woman she introduced to me when we’re at the mall, two years ago. “The woman you met online.”

“Yes, that woman.” Byul confirmed. We sat there in silence and drank on the wine when she spoke up again, “I’ll expect you to bring your plus one in the wedding.”

“You know I’m single as so how—”

She hushed me by putting her index finger in my mouth. “I know, that’s why I’m here.” She said with that mischievous smile. “Use the app, use Moomoo.” I groaned, stating my disapproval. “What, don’t tell me you’re not over the cheating-neighbor-ex-girlfriend?”

“You know I am so over with Chorong. It’s just that, dating isn’t really on my top priorities right now.” And that’s the truth. I have a lot of things going on my plate, I don’t want to add additional stressors. “And if I ever went on a date again, I’d rather date the person personally.”

“It’s not as bad as you think, I swear.” She said, raising her right hand. “Besides, a girlfriend is not the only thing you’ll find there. You may meet friends, connections or bud—”

“I got it, thank you, but no thank you.” I rejected.

“Unnie,” she cleared and leaned forward “You have nothing to lose, why don’t you give it a try?  You know you’re certainly losing something if you don’t give it a shot.”

I hate Byul-yi. I ing hate Moon Byul-yi because her words stuck on my head, like it was on repeat. I am preoccupied during dinner because I kept on thinking about what she said. And the scarier part, I think, I am giving it a try. Her persuasion skills are really something, no doubt why her car dealership business is a success.

I lay down in bed with eyes closed and phone in my both hands, resting above my chest. I mean, Moonbyul was right. I have nothing to lose, so what’s stopping me? But what if I find erts or creepy people on that app? Those type of people are inevitable, especially on the internet. But what does that Moomoo app looks like?

I let my curiosity gets the best of me, and I found myself waiting for the app to be downloaded. As soon as it was installed, I launched it and I was redirected to a ‘Get Started’ page. It was asking me if I already have an account, obviously I don’t so I tap on Sign Up.

It only asked the basic information, username and password. I think, this is fine? It wasn’t asking me private information, as well as my name so I filled in the required information. I used Solarsido as my username and Wgi2117 as my password, that’s my car’s plate number.

After signing up, it asks me to upload photos which are mandatory to complete the process. It didn’t ask me for my name, but it asked me for my photo, is this safe?

I scrolled through my photos and looked for a picture of me. I want to hide my face but not really hide it. That’s why I settled with this picture of me holding a bouquet, with half of my face being hidden on it.

 And I’m all set! It redirected me to the ‘Pairing’ page where I can see other people’s account with the instruction: Swipe Left for the next selection, Swipe right to pair.

The first profile I saw was this woman wearing a cap and a sweet smile. She’s looks sweet, but I knew better not to mess with this kind of woman. This is what the typical womanizer looks like.

Username: Seulbear – Swipe left

The next profile I stumbled upon has a strong Korean American vibe. She’s ing pretty and I know she’s way out of my league. So, to save myself from humiliation, I need to do it from my end.

Username: ColdBlooded – Swipe left

After swiping left on seven profiles, I think I found the one. Her hair was tied a bit messy, and I could say this selfie was taken inside her car. She was smiling softly, and I thought, it’s cute!

Username: dlwlrma – Hard swipe right.

That’s it? It just said I matched with her and that’s basically it? I have no way to chat her or anything? No nothing? Why did I even bother? I closed exited the app and placed it above my dresser and drift to sleep.

My alarm clock woke me up and checking the time, it’s only 7:15AM. I had forgotten to turn it off last night after going through that stupid app. Holding my phone, I went to the kitchen and made my coffee before sitting at my favorite part of this house, the porch.

While sipping on my cup, I checked on the notifications I missed. I received five new emails, which are all from the school, two text messages, one from my sister asking if I wanted her to drive me to the mall, and the other one was from Byul, asking if I tried on the app. I typed a quick response to my sister telling her I appreciate the offer, but I’ll just take a cab and to Byul lying that I don’t have time for it.

Then there was a notification from the Moomoo. A match requests? I tap on it and was redirected to the app. I saw there are two pair requests.

The first one was from a guy with his dingy as his profile picture. ing disgusting. Instead of just rejecting his request, I block and report his profile. The second was from an obvious fake account. I know it because what the hell is Jung Wheein doing on this app?

Jung Wheein is a K-pop solo artist. I’m not a fan but she became a household name when she was invited to perform in BBMAs. This account owner is either a fan of her, or just catfishing. I know it’s none of my business, but my curiosity is getting the best of me, again. I wanted to talk to this person and ask what’s her deal. If she admits on being a fan, that’s great but I think she should use her photo since this is a dating site. If she’s a catfish, then I’m in the mood to drag her out.

Username: magnolia.jwi – swipe right – You found a pair!

After a split second, I received a chat from her.   magnolia.jwi: Whoa! Finally, a pair! A brave soul, I see. Solarsido: lol. Why is this also your first pairing or whatever you call this thing? magnolia.jwi: No, but the first time after a long time. Solarsido: Maybe it has something to do with your profile pic? magnolia.jwi: Why? What’s wrong with my picture? Solarsido: I mean, you’re using a celebrity’s picture. Maybe that’s the reason why they didn’t want to pair with you?   Then I didn’t receive a reply. I might have offended this person.  Well, that’s life. I finish my coffee and go back inside. I wash my cup and place it in the cabinet when my mother came out of the room.

“You’re up early.” She spoke. “Egg and toast?” she offered.

“Yes, thanks mom!” I thanked her, walking back to my room. “I’ll just unpack my bag, but I’ll leave my door open, call me if you need me.”

My morning went just fine. I arranged my stuff, had my second cup of coffee with my dad, and helped mom to cook our lunch. Shortly after lunch, I heard my phone ring, indicating a new notification.   magnolia.jwi: Sorry, I just got off from rehearsals magnolia.jwi: Where were we? magnolia.jwi: ah right, my profile picture magnolia.jwi: What’s wrong with it? I like the picture. It’s hot, isn’t it?   Jung Wheein indeed looked hot on her profile picture. Her hair was short and bleached.   Solarsido: So, are you saying, you’re Jung Wheein? magnolia.jwi: … magnolia.jwi: I’ll throw the question back to you, am I Jung Wheein? Solarsido: this is ridiculous.   This person might be someone delusional or bored as to play around in this app.   Solarsido: Obviously, you’re not Jung Wheein. Solarsido: I mean, what would she be doing on this app when she has a lot of things to do. Solarsido: Idols have a very busy schedule ahead of them. magnolia.jwi: That’s what they always thought. magnolia.jwi: It’s only busy when we’re preparing for a comeback or a concert. magnolia.jwi: And during the ‘normal days’ things can be a bit boring for us. Solarsido: Is that why you are here? Because you’re bored? Solarsido: Not because you’re an idol, but because you’re a jobless person with no hobbies. magnolia.jwi: feisty. I like that. magnolia.jwi: And to answer your question, no. I’m on my busy days, I am preparing for a comeback.   Fake it ‘til you make it. That might be this person’s life motto.   Solarsido: Then what are you doing here? magnolia.jwi: This is my safe space. magnolia.jwi: I can do things I wanted to do, say things I wanted to say without revealing much about my identity.   That seals it. She’s not Jung Wheein.   Solarsido: Did you just admit you’re NOT Jung Wheein? magnolia.jwi: I didn’t admit anything. magnolia.jwi: and whether I am Jung Wheein or not, that’s all up to you. magnolia.jwi: I can tell you I am Jung Wheein and you’ll never believe it. I can tell you I am not Jung Wheein and you may also not believe it. magnolia.jwi: see, my identity is all up to you.   She has a point though. But still, isn’t this creepy? Should I block her? But I would be lying if I say she didn’t intrigue me.   magnolia.jwi: what about you, Ms. Solarsido, why are you here? What made you join the app? Solarsido: Nothing in particular Solarsido: I just want to meet people who aren’t weird, I guess. magnolia.jwi: Where’s the fun in that?   I spend the rest of the afternoon chatting with this catfish. Then I didn’t hear anything from her for two days. Is she okay? Did she get into trouble or something? Because based on our conversation, she is the type of person who will get herself into trouble.

As usual, I took my coffee and sat at the patio, listening to the birds as they sing. Today is the 23rd and I need to do my last-minute Christmas shopping. I stirred my cup and carefully sip when my eye catches on something.

It was Chorong, getting out of the car’s passenger seat. And the driver, was the same woman who was cuddling her in her bed two years ago. I diverted my eyes and pretentiously checked my phone. And lucky for me, she’s alive.   magnolia.jwi: Sorry for being MIA for two days magnolia.jwi: Things just got crazier here and I haven’t slept for goddamn 32 hours. Solarsido: It’s cool Solarsido: Except I really thought you ghosted me because I busted your catfishing . magnolia.jwi: who busted who? magnolia.jwi: Sweetie, sorry to pop your bubble but you didn’t bust anything. magnolia.jwi: and who would ghost a pretty lady like you? Definitely not me.   Is she, hitting on me?   Solarsido: You know, this is unfair Solarsido: You already know how I look but I don’t even know if you’re a man catfishing me with Jung Wheein’s picture. magnolia.jwi: then, let’s find out magnolia.jwi: call me +82XXXXXXXXXX   Should I dial the number? This person is practically stranger, and my mom told me not to talk to stranger. What if this person turns out to be a psychopath and tracks my phone number? What if this person was a creepy stalker or a serial killer?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I tried my best to convince myself not to dial the number, but here I am, waiting as the phone rings. I guess, you can blame it on the thrill.

“Solarsido?” her voice was low, but it definitely belongs to a woman, but not Jung Wheein. Her voice is different from Jung Wheein’s voice from the interviews I watched yesterday. Jung Wheein has a cute cheerful speaking voice in her interviews. Her voice was basically an exploding sunshine.

“Hello, catfish” I greeted her back. “So, who told you not to sleep for 32 hours?”

“The staff. I had recording session and now, we have our rehearsals for the upcoming album.” Is she really not dropping the act? “What about you, what kept you busy while I’m gone?”

“Nothing much, just spending quality time with family before I fly back home.”

“Home? Where’s home?” She must have been really tired and sleepy because I heard her yawn while asking this.

“Philippines” I shortly answered. Then I had that strange feeling that someone was watching me, and when I look around, I caught my ex-girlfriend, watching me behind her windows. If she wants to watch me, the best that I can do is at least give her a show. “Say something funny.” I asked the catfish.

“Something funny” she said in a serious tone.

That came up unexpected that it genuinely made me laugh. “Stupid.” I said and the catfish laughed with me. “What’s your name?”

She quickly answered, “Wheein.” I should give credit for her consistencies though. “And you?”

I was about to answer her questions when I heard a faint noise from the background, yelling “Break time is over! Come on guys, one last perfect routine then you can all go home.”

Wait, is she really rehearsing right now? “I gotta go now, but I’ll call you later when I get home.” She said.

“No, call me tomorrow morning instead. Just take a good rest when you get home.” I ordered her.

But of course, she would never listen to me. Because while I was out at the mall, buying Christmas presents, I received a call from her. “Say, are you half Filipina? It’s just that earlier, you mentioned Philippines—”

“No, my parents are both Korean. I was born and raised in Seoul, but I spent middle school there, up until now.”

“And your name?” I thought she would be asking more about the Philippines since almost every Korean I spoke to would ask me more about the country whenever I mention that I am living in the Philippines.

I walked inside the Apple store to get Yonghee’s special request “I have a feeling that Wheein wasn’t your real name, so I assume it will be fair if I don’t give you my name.”

“Well, that’s fine.” But she confidently added, “Guess I’ll have to stick with calling you mine.”

“Wow, you’re a shameless sweet talker, aren’t you?” I challenged her. “I think, you should go get your sleep. You’re starting to talk nonsensical things and you’re also being delusional.”

“But I enjoyed talking to you. You’re a smart woman, the person you’ll date will be the luckiest person in the world, to be specific, me.” I can feel her smirk as she said the last sentences.

She accompanied me with my errands via phone call. During our conversation, I mentioned to her that I am doing my last-minute Christmas shopping. We also talked about the basic information like age, profession and hometown. Although, I am just not quite sure if she was being truthful with the information she just shared.

“I’m at the last store, aren’t you sleepy yet?” I asked her.

“I can manage,” she yawned. “I’ll sleep when you get home.” She stated. “By the way, you asked me to say something funny earlier” she recalled. “What’s going on though? Are you trying to make someone jealous?”

I wasn’t really trying to make Chorong jealous. Maybe, it was just my pride, but I want her to see that I am happy. “That was nothing” I tried to change the topic so she would drop the matter. “I’m heading home now. I just need to book a Lyft. You can go to bed; I’ll text you when I get back to my parent’s house.”

“Do you realize, you’re just making it obvious that, that is certainly something by swiftly changing the topic?” I can’t deny that this woman is really smart. “Come on, spill it. I’m a stranger, you can trust me.”

“That’s the thing, why would I share my business with a stranger?”

“Because strangers don’t know you personally so there are no judgments involve.” I can’t deny, she has a point though.

I sighed defeated and starts opening up. “I have an ex-girlfriend who lives just across the street. I wasn’t really trying to make her jealous, I just want her to see that I am happy even if she cheated on me.”

“Why, you haven’t moved on?” she asked in a serious tone.

“I already moved on! It’s been two years.” I answered defensively. “But you know that feeling, like there is something inside you that seeks answers as to why she cheated on me.”

“I’ll tell you why.” I listened closely. “Because she’s a cheater.”

I waited for any follow ups, but she wasn’t speaking on the other line. “That’s it?”

“Yup, it's as simple as that.” She started. “Sweetie, there are no valid reasons for cheating. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“How would you know; you aren’t there during our relationship and—”

“There is really no logical explanation to it, aside from she’s a cheater.” She cuts me off. “You could run to the ends of the world, paint the sky with the most beautiful stars, and she would still cheat on you if she wanted to. Cheating is a decision.”

I’m utterly speechless. I don’t know how to respond with what she just said. “My lyft is here.” I said, attempting to flee from this conversation.

She dropped the matter and talked about other things. On my way home, she asked me what I bought for my family, did I get myself a gift because it’s also important to treat yourself, and what’s our plan on Christmas day.

I also learned about her plans for Christmas, although I am not 100% sure about the accuracy of it, could be all part of the catfish act. She said she only have a day off, which is on Christmas day. She plans to spend it with her family in Jeonju. Then if she gets more free time, she will get drinks with her friends and give them the presents she bought weeks prior.

We ended the call when I got home. I stealthily rushed to my room, hiding the gifts I bought for everyone. I spend the night wrapping them, without any distraction from the catfish who fell asleep as soon as we drop the call.

The next day was the 24th. I spent my morning, doing my usual routine, coffee at the porch while checking on the emails. My attention was focused on the laptop that I didn’t notice the new message from my phone. I only noticed that my phone was also on the table after I sent the last email about the monthly financial report of my school.

+82XXXXXXXXXX: Good morning

It was from the catfish, and it was sent an hour ago. I forgot to save her number yesterday, so I saved it under ‘Catfish 😈'. After saving it, I replied a quick good morning back to her.

I took my cup of coffee and head back inside. In the kitchen, I was greeted by my parents who were having breakfast.

“You know you can sit and eat breakfast with us” It was my dad.

I really don’t mind eating breakfast with them, it’s just that, I am used to eat alone. For the long time, I only have myself to eat breakfast with.

“So, when are you coming back here in Seoul?” my mom asked. This is also another reason why I don’t want to eat breakfast with them. I am doing my best to avoid this conversation. “I know your school and life in Manila is doing great, but you know, sooner or later you need to come back here. You need to settle back here.”

“I haven’t thought about it.” I lied. “For now, I just want to enjoy everything.” I can’t tell them the truth; I can’t do it. I know needed to, sooner or later. But not now. “Aren’t we going to Aunt Soo-mi today? I haven’t seen her in a long time.” I made my way to my room and shouted. “I’ll get change now.”

As my bedroom door shut, I sighed. What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to ruin their holidays. I became guiltier day by day, the longer I keep it.

I walked to the shower, hoping it will wash these thoughts away. When I got out, I took out my cargo pants and the two tops I bought from yesterday. I am torn, should I go with this bandeau crop top or this brown top with and flash some cleavage?

This dilemma gave me a brilliant idea though. I grab my phone, wore the first top, took a pic, wore the second top, and took a pic. I reviewed the photo and smiled; it still hides my face since the photo only captured my chin down to my feet.

Sending both pictures to catfish, I asked her “Which one?” And her response came faster than the bullet.   Catfish 😈: Both are nice. Love the boldness and the abs. Catfish 😈: But if you’re off to the mall or going elsewhere, I’d say the first one. Catfish 😈: The second one should be worn if you’re out to meet me. Catfish 😈: Because P.S. I’m a woman. Catfish 😈: Love them . Me: Wow, you’re not only a catfish, but a ert one. Catfish 😈: You know what you’re doing, Ms. Solarsido Catfish 😈: You won’t be sending those pics if you weren’t trying to initiate something.   That may be true, but I won’t admit it to her face. Let’s just say, I just want to a little.   Me: I just want to get your opinion. Catfish 😈: I already gave you my two cents. Me: 🙄 Thanks! Catfish 😈: The pants would complement the first top. Catfish 😈: And wear white shoes. That will complete the looks. Me: Thank you, my personal stylist.   She didn’t respond. I put my phone and wallet in my purse and went out to meet my parents and my sister who just arrived.

The drive to my aunt’s house will take us forty minutes. My dad was the designated driver, while my mom is sitting next to him on the passenger seat, and I sat next to Yonghee.

“So, I have a new co-worker, and she also identifies as panual. She’s pretty and smart, I think—”

“Not interested.” I cut her off. Why do straights always thought it’s their responsibility to hook up their queer friends and families?

“What? Come on, just one date! I think you’ll like her.” She insisted.

“It’s been a while since you’ve dated someone.” My mom chimed in. “Why don’t you give it a try and see if you two clicks?”

I internally rolled my eyes and groaned. “I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you.” I firmly said. “Besides, I’m talking to someone else.” I blurted out, hoping my sister will stop setting me up with random people.

My mom and Yonghee shared that look. That kind of look where you know something is coming out of there stupid mouth. “Where did you meet this woman?” My mom asked.

“Do you have pictures? What’s her name?” My sister continuously asked.

I ignored their questions and plugged in my earphones. Sooner, we got to our destination. I quickly unload myself and ran towards my aunt who’s expecting us.

“Yongsun, you’re getting prettier as year goes by.” My aunt greeted me. I thanked her for the compliment, and she proposed, “Why don’t we go inside, everybody’s here. Your cousins are excited to see you again.” We went inside her house and true enough, everyone from the Kim family is here.

It was a yearly tradition to hold a family reunion in my aunt’s house. All of the aunts and uncles are here, as well as the cousins, and the nieces and nephews. This is also that time of the year where you tell everyone you have swam the Pacific Ocean even if you don’t know how to swim.

As soon as we get in, I heard a cousin bragging about how she got the promotion after only being three months in the company. Aunt Soo-mi walked us towards that crowd and re-introduced me.

“Yongsun, right!” one cousin said. And to be honest, I can’t remember his name. It always feels like this is the first time I’m meeting them. “The cousin from the Philippines.”

The crowd nodded, as if they remembered me. One female cousin then asked, “If my boyfriend and I go to the Philippines for a vacation, can you show us around?”

I am not a ing tourist guide, how about that? I don’t have anything against tourist guide, but these people should also know that I have a life and a business to manage. But of course, I need to be nice, I should avoid making ‘misunderstandings’. “Sure, just give me a call.” I nod and smile. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the comfort room.” I said and left the room.

I walked to the pool where I know the people, I’m looking for will be at. And you bet they are there. “Yongsun unnie!” a voice called me; it was Jong-in.”

I refused to greet them with a hug because they already smelled booze and nicotine. These are the cousins I am closest with, Jong-in, Hyo-jung and Hyo-yeon. They are far different from the crowd in the living room. Very different that they are called the misfit by our own family members just because they took a path that their parents didn’t want them to pursue, just like me.

Jong-in is lawyer from the family of a professors, Hyo-jung is a divorcee, Hyo-yeon is a college drop-out, and me, well the queer who’s planning to live the rest of her life outside South Korea.

“Isn’t it too early for that?” I pointed at the beer in their hands.

“We almost got into a fist fight.” Hyo-jung admitted. I asked her what happened, and she explained. “You know Ki-bang?” I shook my head. “The guy wearing glasses.”

I recalled the people I saw inside, and I remembered a particular guy “Oh, full button polo shirt guy?”

Hyo-jung snapped her fingers, “That one!” she confirmed. “When he got in here earlier, he was holding this bottle of wine and announced that it was one of the most expensive wine in the world.” She turned to Hyo-yeon. “What was it called?”

“Château Cheval Blanc.” Hyo-yeon nonchalantly answered.

“Yeah, that one.” Hyo-jung continued, “Then our resident DJ checked on that bottle of wine. What did you ask him?” Hyo-jung asked Hyo-yeon to continue the stories.

“I asked him how much he paid for it and where did he get it.” Hyo-yeon started. “He said, he got it for 43 million KRW.” Hyo-jung was already chuckling. “I told him, Château Cheval Blanc was indeed one of the most expensive wine, if we’re talking about the 1947 bottle.” Hyo-yeon knows this kind of stuff. She’s been working as a club DJ for years now and have befriended a good number of bartender so she knew a lot of things about alcohol.

“And you know how much we love our family members, so Jong-in offered his service so he can sue the store where he bought it.” Hyo-yeon was laughing her out.

“He turned pale white.” Jong-in inserted which made the three of them burst into loud laugh. “Then he calls us names and was this close in punching my beautiful face.”

I shook my head and laugh along with them. A man with bruised ego will really be desperate to redeem himself. “That’s why you’re here.” I concluded.

“Yup!” Hyu-jung confirmed. “Did you have lunch? I was contemplating if I should offer you a beer.”

“I’ll go grab some foods inside, then I’ll eat here.” I left them and went to the kitchen to see what auntie prepared. While I was placing foods on my plate, my phone rang inside my bag. It’s her.

“Lunch break?” I asked her.

“Yeah, I’m waiting for my manag