Wherever Yu Jimin goes, whispers follow.

When did it start? She wasn’t really sure. Perhaps the murmurs have always been there since she was born. Maybe even before.

Good things.

Bad things.

Truth.

Lies.

It had become her version of normal that she had developed a skill of letting them fade into the background. Until the whispers itself became the background.

Like ghosts--a cold lingering feeling on the back of her neck, unseen and unheard but felt.

Though sometimes, she would take a step back and make a conscious effort to listen.

Like right now.

“That’s her--Yu Jimin--heiress of the AE corporation.”

“Whoa she’s pretty.”

“She’s Lee Jeno’s girlfriend, isn’t she?”

“Damn, what a perfect couple.”

“I heard her mother got into an accident--”

BANG!

Jimin’s hand may or may not have slipped and closed her locker with more force than she should have.

The whispers fade away again.

She watched as the girls scrambled away. Like mice. Uselessly squeaking and dispersing into the shadows. Cowards, the lot of them.

Just then, Jeno walked out from the same corner they scurried into, dark hair brushing just a little past eyes that gleamed like sunlight dappling through tree branches. His handsome brows were scrunched together, frowning curiously at the girls’ direction. And then their eyes met.

He smiled, eyes disappearing into crescents and it’s like a gust of summer breeze. He picked up his pace as he approached her.

“Hey.”

Jimin smiled back. “Hi.”

“My class got cancelled.” He said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Want to go grab coffee? It’s your vacant period, right?”

Jimin’s smile dimmed. “Sorry, I already have plans to go to the library with Aeri and Ning.”

“Group project?”

Jimin shook her head. “Yizhuo needs help on her philosophy homework and Aeri’s just tagging along.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you around then. Take care.” He leaned down and what Jimin thought would be a quick peck on her lips started to become something more.

She squirmed under his hold, lightly hitting his shoulder. He nibbled on her lower lip in response. She opened to tell him off. Wrong move. He pushed her against the lockers. Clutching a fistful of his shirt, she mustered all her strength to push him away.

“Jeno.” she exhaled, breathless. “We’re in public.”

He looked down at her--eyes no longer twinkling like the sun but now blending with the darkness of his hair. “Right.” he smiled. His eyes did not crinkle. “My bad.”

A soft kiss on her cheek and he was off on his way.

Sighing, Jimin headed to the library.

Nothing really changed in the two years of being in a relationship with Jeno. He was nice. It worked. Her mother approved. And Jimin was happy. A comforting consistency that Jimin held on to like a life buoy. That being said, without him, she would simply sink. Drown. Hit the rock bottom.

She crossed the university grounds to get to the building. Students lounged at benches beneath the shade of trees, talking and laughing, though the looks sent her way didn’t go unnoticed. The only ones who weren't paying her attention was the group huddled around a tree. A cocoon hung from its lowest hanging branch and they watched it like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, jotting down notes.

Jimin shrugged, walking faster.

The quiet library contrasted the chatter of the grounds. Few students dotted the tables, heads buried in books--some reading, most sleeping. Greeting the librarian with a smile, Jimin ventured further inside, to that one table by the window that they usually occupy because it was far enough from the librarian that Yizhuo can sneak eating her snacks and Aeri can get a few shut-eye without being kicked out.

“What’s with the face?” Was what Aeri greeted her with as soon as she took a seat beside Yizhuo.

“What do you mean?” Jimin asked, taking out her notes.

“You know, your face is all like--” Aeri made an impression of her face--eyes glaring and lips pressed.

Yizhuo snorted. “Have you met Jimin-unnie? She always has that face on. RBF, y’know?”

“I don’t have a resting face.” Jimin argued. “My face is always on duty, ever vigilant.” she said, nodding. “My face will rest when its work is done.”

Aeri stared at her. “Ah, so it’s a...hardworking face then?”

Yizhuo made a face. “Let’s just say she looks y and get it over and done with.”

Jimin chuckled, flipping through her notes. “I bumped into Jeno, by the way. He said their class was cancelled.”

“Oh, so that’s the reason for the face.”

Jimin frowned at Aeri. “Huh?”

“Whenever you’re with him, something shifts in your RB--I mean, your...” Aeri waved her hands around her face. “...whatever you have going on. It becomes a little more...y.”

Yizhuo barked out a laugh. “She’s working double time to scare the fangirls away.”

Jimin just rolled her eyes and uncapped her pen. “Let’s start answering this homework, shall we? And Aeri, shush.” she pointed at the girl who mimed zipping .

Yizhuo’s homework was complicated, but not difficult--though not everybody would agree. Her friend was brilliant, though her forte was more on computers than anything else. She knew her way around these machines so well that retrieving Jimin’s social media accounts when Jeno’s fangirls--as her young friend liked to call them--hacked her and even tracing them down one by one despite Jimin being against filing a lawsuit only took a few hours. Aeri had joked that maybe she could break into a bank and they had laughed.

The next day, Woori Bank was all over the news for losing 10 million won.

She shrugged it off as an eerie coincidence.

She checked her phone for messages when she left Yizhuo to do her own readings. Most of them were spam, which sailed straight to the trash.

Just then, her phone buzzed. It’s from Mr. Han--her step-father’s secretary.

“Young miss, the acting chairman says that it would be nice if you could check out this newly opened restaurant with Mr. Lee.”

She frowned. He always insists on being regarded with that title. Acting chairman. As if--

Another buzz.

“He says your mother would’ve loved it but he’s devastated that he couldn’t take her there. He would appreciate it if you could go instead. Shall I book you a reservation tonight?”

“Hey, there’s a sale at the mall today.” Aeri piped up, reading off from her phone. “You girls wanna swing by?”

“I’m in.” Yizhuo instantly replied, lifting her fist to bump Aeri’s waiting one across the table.

“What about you, Jimin?”

Jimin looked up from her phone just as she tapped the ‘send’ button. “Sorry, I can’t today.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you.”

***

Jimin stayed in the gym during Jeno’s basketball practice, waiting for him to finish with a towel and a bottle of water ready as usual. After that, they headed to her step-father’s recommended restaurant. It was located downtown--posh, pompous, and extravagant with a live orchestra and more cutleries on the table than food.

Her mother would’ve hated it.

Jeno talked about his day over steak, the orchestral piece a fitting accompaniment to his melodic voice. Like most of the time they spend together, Jimin smiled and laughed all the while wondering if the stray cats in that alley beside her apartment building had eaten anything for today. Will it be proper etiquette in this place to ask if she could take her leftovers home?

“Should we get going?”

Maybe she should just buy cat food at the nearby convenience store.

“Okay.”

Jeno offered to drive her home. He’s talking again. Something about his seatmate’s body odor. Jimin smiled and laughed at his hyperboles.

She idly watched cars speeding by as the silence engulfed them, amusing herself with the streaks of red and yellow lights they left behind. He had long finished talking about everything and nothing under the sun and she didn’t have anything to say. It’s not like she could talk about the whispers.

Traffic wasn’t heavy and Jeno drove just within the speed limit but Jimin felt like she'd been sitting in his car forever. Time often did that around him, frustratingly so. Like everything was unfolding in slow motion, each second bent and stretched to eternity.

Perhaps it was the effect of spending time with someone special.

“We’re here.” he announced, parking the car.

Outside, the looming building of her apartment glittered in the dark. “Thanks for tonight.”

“Of course. It’s not everyday you ask me out on a date.” he jabbed lightheartedly.

Jimin unbuckled her seatbelt. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Jeno stopped her before she could open the door. “Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” he cheekily asked.

She stared at him, blinking.

He huffed, puckering his lips. “My goodbye kiss.”

Oh. Right.

It was supposed to be a quick peck, enough to conclude the day and convey the word ‘bye’ in a smack. But he held on to her and deepened the kiss. Just like earlier this morning. Jimin sighed into his lips, hands braced on his shoulders. His touch started to travel, leaving goosebumps on its wake. From her cheek to her hair, sliding down to her neck and shoulder, eventually making its way under her shirt.

She pushed him away. “I really need to go.”

Jimin tried to suppress her shudder. His hands had returned to his side now but phantom touches still lingered on her skin. Searing. Burning. Yet it chilled. Like a trail of ice. She fumbled with the door latch.

“Jimin.” he called just as she finally managed to open the door. His dark eyes scanned her face in a way that made her skin crawl. It shouldn’t, but it did. “I’m craving ramen.”

The cold burning intensified. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Sorry, I ran out this morning. I’ll get going now. Drive safe.” she slammed the door shut.

She watched as the car drove away and when it was finally out of sight, she sighed, running fingers through her hair. Just what was with her boyfriend and his obsession with ramen? He’s been asking that forever.

Instead of heading into the building, she hailed a cab.

“Yulje hospital, please.”

It was way past the hospital’s visiting hours, what with their lengthy dinner. Fortunately, there was a perk her family name brought that she actually liked.

She greeted the guard when she arrived at the lobby, along with the nurses and physicians she bumped into who smiled regardless of their tired eyes. The familiar scent of antiseptic violated her nose. She stopped at an elevator, pressing the up button and tapped her foot as she waited.

“Jimin?”

She turned, seeing a petite bespectacled bob-haired woman in a white coat, and smiled. “Dr. Jeon.”

“Did you just arrive?” The woman checked her watch. “It’s already 9.”

“Yes. I’m afraid dinner took longer than usual.”

“Nurse Shin mentioned she didn’t see you around today. She thought your streak’s about to be broken.”

Jimin chuckled, shaking her head. “I can’t do that.”

Dr. Jeon’s gaze fell heavily on her. As it usually did. “You never miss a day, do you?”

“Never.”

The elevator arrived, which they got all to themselves. Dr. Jeon pushed the buttons to her floor as well as the VIP ward’s without having to ask.

Jimin fiddled with her fingers. Elevator music filled in the space but the silence between them hung heavier still. She pressed her lips together before breaking the ice.

“Will she be alright, doctor?” she asked, just as always she had for the past year.

She kept her eyes on the ground, feeling the woman’s sympathetic eyes bore heavily on her as she quietly sighed.

“She’s doing her best.” the doctor answered, just as she always had for the past year.

Ding!

The metal doors slid open. Dr. Jeon’s floor. But instead of stepping out, the woman faced her.

Jimin waited and hoped that maybe, just maybe, this time there would be some good news. The doctor seemed to be gathering her thoughts, brows furrowed, before finally parting to speak.

“Don’t stay back too late, okay?” Dr. Jeon eventually said, tone light. But her eyes spoke volumes, loud and clear.

Pity.

Jimin released the breath she’s been holding and forced a smile.

“Okay.”

The woman stepped out and the metal doors slid shut, Jimin’s distorted reflection on the steel surface staring back at her.

***

The repetitive routine that is life smudged the edges of every hour that it was almost impossible to know where each passing day started and ended--a never ending cycle of recurring events: Jimin would wake up, go to school, watch Jeno’s practices, go home, study, do homework, and sleep.

Rinse. Repeat.

Rinse. Repeat.

Today started just like any other. Jimin woke up to a shrieking alarm at 6AM, groaning and cursing whoever allowed 8AM classes to exist, going into the shower, and walking out a changed woman. With a toast stuck between her teeth and a carton of milk clutched in her hand, she grabbed her car keys and hurried out of her apartment, wanting to avoid the rush hour,

She sat in the lecture hall twenty minutes early, as usual. The light chatter blended well with the whispers. She pushed them further into the back of her mind. Not today.

She checked her phone for messages. Just spam again. Aeri and Yizhuo were probably still asleep. Lucky brats didn’t like torturing themselves with early morning classes--unlike her. Jeno did not send his daily good morning messages. He probably slept in.

He didn’t send one the next day either.

And the next.

And the next.

Cracks surfaced on her consistent globe of normalcy. It all started with the lack of good morning and good night texts. Then he would take an hour to reply to Jimin’s messages. One hour turned to two, multiplied to four. He stopped trying to convince her he could pick her up and drive her home. Stopped asking if she could invite him up in her apartment for a bowl of ramen.

When they were together, he’s still the same as usual--handsome and funny and nice so Jimin pretended not to notice the ever increasing fault lines, as if doing so would make it disappear.

On her way to the library to help Yizhuo with yet another philosophy homework, the same group of students huddled around a tree caught her eye. There seemed to be more of them today. Has the caterpillar turned into a butterfly yet?

Apparently not. The cocoon still remained there. Something about it thrilled the students. To her it looked the same.

Jimin resumed her walk to the library.

This time, she arrived before her friends did. They were still in class. Aeri in music theory and Yizhuo in advanced programming. Jimin put her bag on their table and grabbed a book from the nearby shelves.

The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters by Andy Andrews

She flipped through the pages, initially uninterested but gradually growing engrossed. She had meant to merely skim through the text to pass time but found herself reading every line of thick paragraphs.

A butterfly could flap its wings and set molecules of air in motion, which would move other molecules of air, in turn moving more molecules of air--eventually capable of starting a hurricane on the other side of the planet

Her friends’ voices reached her before they did.

“God, I wish I could sleep for, like, a hundred hours.”

“Unnie, that’s a coma.”

“A coma sounds nice. I could use a coma right now--holy .”

Jimin looked up. They were standing there, frozen like they’ve seen a ghost.

Yizhuo elbowed Aeri who elbowed her back. Yizhuo elbowed her harder. Aeri stumbled.

“Jimin! Oh my god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t mean what I said. I’m so sorry for joking like that.”

Apologies rushed out of , eyes shining with sincerity. How could Jimin possibly even begin to be upset?

She scrunched her nose. “Stop pouting. You look like that emoji.”

Yizhuo snorted. Aeri smiled in relief.

They started with Yizhuo’s homework while Aeri volunteered to smuggle in some drinks, probably still guilty about her insensitive joke. Jimin let her, though she honestly didn’t mind. Right now she didn’t, but a few months ago, she would’ve taken offence. Maybe even sob and throw a tantrum.

Aeri soon returned with a cold can of cola and an apologetic smile. Jimin accepted it with thanks.

“Payment first.” Aeri said as she took the carton of banana milk away from Yizhuo’s reach.

“But Jimin-unnie got it for free!”

“I don’t make the rules, pipsqueak. Pay up.” she lifted the drink higher as Yizhuo attempted to reach it.

Jimin checked her messages while they bickered. Spam. Spam. Spam. Oh, Jeno left a text.

“Can we talk after class? I’ll pick you up.”

***

The last time Jimin checked, everything worked like clockwork. Her life was put together. She’s doing well in college, is healthy, alive, and kicking, and has a wonderful boyfriend.

Until suddenly, she didn’t.

It was almost masochistic how fascinating it was to see everything she carefully built slowly spiral down to oblivion and all she could do was sit in a coffee shop and listen as Jeno tells her how he was tired (of what, exactly?) and that he couldn’t keep doing this anymore, watch as he walked away from her, broad back becoming smaller, and smaller.

And then gone.

A part of her thought that maybe somewhere, a butterfly had flapped its wings and started a hurricane in her world.

Maybe that cocoon had opened and that butterfly had made its first flight, moving air molecules and ruining her life.

Where did it all go wrong?. She did his bidding. They went on dates. She supported his sports. She replied to all his text messages and answered his calls. She had been the perfect girlfriend anyone could ask for.

So why? What did he even do to claim that he’s exhausted?

There’s a hollow space in her chest, cold winds blowing. In and out. In and out. Did breakups always feel like this? Empty, and vacant, and...nothing? Like she was following a map to a hidden treasure, only to find the chest yawning and void.

Her phone rang, startling her out of staring at her melting milkshake. She read the caller ID and sighed, staring at the red and green buttons and letting it ring a couple more times before bringing the device up to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Jimin.” her step-father’s voice crooned from the device. “How are you, sweetheart?”

Pleasantries. “I’m doing fine. Thank you. Why did you call?”

“Well, I was hoping you could clear up your schedule for Saturday night, if you had any prior appointments, that is.” he said, “I’m planning to have a family dinner with the Lees.”

“Actually--”

“Did you check that restaurant I recommended for you and Jeno? Should I make reservations there? Or do we need a more private place? I wager we might, considering what we might discuss regarding the expansion--”

“Sir.” she interrupted, “Jeno and I--” her voice caught. She took a deep breath. “Jeno and I...we’re not...together anymore.”

Silence.

Jimin closed her eyes, bracing herself.

“You broke up with him?”

Gone were all his cheer, quiet voice as cold and sharp as a knife.

Jimin tried to control her irregular breaths. “No, that’s not--”

“Then what, child?” he snapped, pausing for a moment before continuing in a milder tone, “This is upsetting. Absolutely disappointing, Yu Jimin. What would your mother feel about this? Did you forget how happy she was when you announced your relationship? Have you ever thought about that? What about the future of our company? The thousands of employees under us? What about them?”

Suddenly, she’s 12 again, alone in her room, cowering under the blankets as the storm raged on outside her windows, rain relentlessly pelting the glass, lightning piercing the skies, and thunder shaking the earth.

Jimin tightened her hold on her phone, trying to ignore the rising bile in her stomach.

Inhale.

Hold.

Exhale.

“You better fix this, girl. Heaven knows how much we’re losing especially with that rat swindling hundreds of millions from the company last week, I--” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath.

“Your mom won’t be happy, Jimin.” he continued with his usual velvety voice heavy with sympathy flowing smoothly from the phone. “We just want what’s best for you. You know that, right?”

Jimin clenched her jaw. The walls felt like it was closing in on her. Inhale. Exhale. “...yes.”

“That’s a good girl.” he cooed. “I hope this will be the last time you let us down.”

Jimin almost dropped the phone when his line died.

She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. Slumping on her seat, she wiped away the sheen of sweat on her forehead, and sent both Aeri and Yizhuo a message.

***

Her friends came running as soon as they got her location.

Jimin felt a lot better now, yet at the same time, she didn’t. The cold feeling only grew, swallowing her hollow chest with an acute fear so vivid she felt like being stabbed with spikes of ice.

It struck her.

Were they really breaking up?

A glacial fist seemed to have clutched .

Jimin bit her nails. “I can’t let this happen.”

Aeri and Yizhuo looked at her with concern. She had just finished relaying everything that just happened, feeling lighter yet more dreadful with every word she said. She could finally breathe but each breath prickled. The ice had reached her lungs.

“You’re seriously planning to get him back?” the question came from Aeri, whose brows were worried to a crease.

Jimin met her gaze. “I will if I have to.”

Aeri frowned. “I didn’t know you were down that bad.”

Jimin shook her head. Her friend didn’t understand. “I can’t lose him, Aeri.”

Her mind raced on the different ways she could have him back. All sorts of ways. Sinking. Drowning. Hitting the cold ocean floor.

She cannot afford to lose Lee Jeno.

“Well, you’re in luck.” Yizhuo, who had been quiet all this while, spoke up, smiling. There’s a certain glint in her eyes. Familiar. Like that time they joked about robbing a bank. “I have just the perfect plan for you.”

Jimin did not have a good feeling about this.