(a two-shot. next update on 4/15. lol. happy wenrene day!)

"And the other day, Junmyeon was on our street, shirtless, with a fresh tattoo of Hyun's face on his left , doing a body roll while holding a boombox over his head, which was playing Chris Brown's 'Take You Down,'" Taeyeon says in one breath, recollecting the pitiful, strange, yet extremely concerning event outside the apartment she shares with her friend who has a long list of male admirers filled with a few bad apples who would probably have resorted to witchcraft if they could.

"Yup, that's definitely the highlight of the week, and it's only…" Joohyun pauses and looks at her brown leather wrist watch, "5:00 p.m. on a Wednesday," before bringing the cup of hot chocolate to her lips.

"Did you... call... the police?" Seulgi asks in between forkfuls of Joohyun's carrot cake, Taeyeon's caramel cake, and her girlfriend Joy's strawberry shortcake."

"No… I think it's enough punishment that his s froze in the cold," Joohyun shrugs, putting the cup down. "But three neighbors did."

"One is a Rihanna fan, one is a professional dancer, and the other is a grandma who had her minor granddaughters over for dinner," Taeyeon adds, waving her fork around, before taking another bite of what's left of her cake slice.

"Hyunnie," Joy says while hitting Seulgi's hand for eating everything but the slice of fruitcake she ordered for herself, to which Seulgi responds with a pout. "You're too chill about all of this."

"I'm just… used to it…? I mean, look at that," Joohyun points to Bunny Burrow Brew's glass wall across their table.

Outside is Johnny, breathing on the glass, writing 'Be My Bae, Joohyun' with his finger, winking like an idiot.

"All right, that's it!" Joy stands up and storms out and lands a solid slap on the guy's right cheek, causing his beanie to fall off.

Inside, Seulgi is finishing Joy's cake, Taeyeon is watching in amusement, and Joohyun is watching in horror.

"That dude's never bothering you again," Taeyeon chuckles.

"I think he's crying," Joohyun mutters, watching Johnny run away.

"I should have ordered the shortcake too," Seulgi realizes, her fork clean. "Oh, hi babe," Joy comes back in, approaching the table, "I'm ordering you another slice," Seulgi chuckles nervously, leaving the table to head to the cashier.

"Make it two, bubba bear!" Joy beckons as she sits back down. "Whew, that felt good!" 

"He might sue you."

"You're welcome, Hyunnie," Joy smiles, as if she wasn't Wrath 30 seconds ago. "And oh," Joy pulls something out of her Tod's tote, "take this," and gives it to Joohyun. "I'm learning Krav Maga, anyway."

"What's this?" Joohyun shoots Joy, and then the spray bottle with blue leather casing on her hand, a confused look. 

"Got it from Yeol. It's his and his friend's thesis. He says it still needs some touch-ups. But it does the job."

"Still doesn't answer my question," Joohyun mumbles, putting the thing down on the table.

"Can I see that?" Taeyeon chimes in, lifting, examining the bottle. "Pepper spray?"

"Uh-huh," Joy nods. "For stalkers who are far worse than Johnny and Junmyeon."

"Um," Joohyun shakes her head, "I don't think this is necessary," and pushes the bottle to Joy's side of the table.

"Hyunnie, I can't keep on slapping idiots for you."

"Tae-tae does it sometimes," Joohyun counters.

"Yes, because luckily, they've all just been idiots so far," Taeyeon exhales. "What if the next one is a real threat, Hyun? And 6'5" and can carry you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes?"

"The average height of men here is 5 foot 7 inches."

"And you're 5'2". What is your point?"

"I am 5'2"... and a half!"

"With toddler-size fists that you don't even use!" Joy retorts.

"Hyunnie doesn't like hurting people, babe," Seulgi says, setting the two little plates of cake slices on their table and sitting back down.

"She's gonna hurt men, bubba bear. Not people."

"Joy-ah!" Taeyeon glares. "Don't let the men's right activists hear you!"

"Well, they can my enormous !" Joy declares, earning applause and 'yeahs'  from the cafe's patrons consisting mostly of the alphabet community. "This is a safe space, don't worry."

"It is, sis," Chanyeol, who's just emerged from the restroom, walking up behind Sooyoung's chair, agrees. "But you can't just go around screaming… that. What if someone takes you up on that offer?" He jests, playfully pinching his sister's cheek.

Joy tilts her head, swats away his hand. "Then I'll tell them I'm just quoting my very smart and very single brother."

"Aren't you and your thesis partner dating?" Taeyeon asks, and Chanyeol shakes his head.

"Seungwan? No, that's impossible," he chuckles.

"Tae-Tae, 'Yeol is straight," Joohyun points out.

"Hyun, Seungwan isn't a dude," Taeyeon clears up.

"She's also not a fan of es. Of any size," Chanyeol adds as he takes the chair on his sister's left. "But she's a great friend, and she likes me for me, not just because I'm this model's," he continues, nudging Joy's arm with an elbow, "less pretty, nerdy fraternal twin."

"Well…" Joy flips her hair, wearing her signature smug grin.

"How come I haven't met her?" Joohyun asks. Not that she's interested. Just curious about her second favorite cousin's small circle of friends.

"Well, let's see," Chanyeol contemplates, scratching his head with one hand, attending to his half-empty cup of iced americano with the other. "She's on full-academic scholarship, works two part-time jobs, and is a full-time mom to her teenage sister, so there's that."

"You would have, though, if you didn't decline Jennie's dinner invitation last month," Joy says, a finger wiping the whipped cream on Seulgi's chin. "She's one of the new waitstaff at Kwangya."

"Oh… yeah..." Seulgi chimes in, mouth still busy munching on a strawberry. "Jennie ended up ordering the entire menu just so she could have her come back to our table over and over."

"And you loved that," Taeyeon chuckles.

"Oh, I loved the food. Jen loved Seungwan. Even got her to sing 'Happy Birthday' for her."

"Well, she's kinda hot. Blonde hair, megawatt smile, nice touché," Joy admits, earning a glare from Seulgi. "Not as hot as my bubba, of course," Joy coos, brushing her nose against Seulgi's.

"These two truly have no respect for single people," Taeyeon mumbles, shooting the poor Chanyeol (who's side-eyeing his sister and Seulgi as he munches on his drink's ice cubes) and then Joohyun  a look,  shaking her head at the scene in front of her.

Equally as disgusted as Taeyeon with Joy and Seulgi's PDA, Joohyun fiddles with the blue spray bottle on the table to distract herself.

"Yeol," she beckons at her cousin who is still giving his sister the stink eye. "Does this thing work?"

"'Still in the development stage, but yeah," Chanyeol nods.

"Can I use this on myself?"

Seulgi and Joy are now faces, strawberry shortcake forgotten on the table. And just like the Etta James song playing in the background, Joohyun would rather go blind.

"Only if you don't mind looking like a smurf for 24 hours."

Why did it have to be a primary color that she lost?

And why can't she buy an oil pastel by piece?

And how did she forget that this homework is due tomorrow?

"Can I help you?" A cheerful voice from behind asks.

Joohyun is scared to turn around. She knows it's five minutes until closing, and the sales staff's face might give away her true feelings.

She's also wearing the baggiest pair of sweats and hoodie she owns, and she's been walking around, going back and forth this aisle for 10 minutes now (in her defense, besides groceries, most of her non-food shopping is done online). She wouldn't blame this employee if she mistakes her for a shoplifter.

it.

"I'm sorry, I'm just looking for something" she turns around, hands up, eyes closed, "that I have money to pay for."

"I know," the girl laughs.

When Joohyun puts her hands down and opens her eyes, she is met by blonde locks, brown eyes, and the most genuine smile-- and yes, she's talking about that Duchenne Smile theory that one of her professors used to talked about that recent research and Tyra Banks debunked. The corner of the girl's eyes crinkle, and as ty as the series is, Joohyun's seen enough ANTM episodes (no thanks or thanks to Joy) to know that this isn't the 'smize' models give for the camera, and Joohyun has done a handful of last minute shopping (again, she's sorry) to know that this smile isn't just the patience the girl learned from two weeks of sales training. 

She wishes she could draw it. Like, now, because memories betray people, as our brains tend to either add or omit to moments, making them better or worse than they actually were when we recall them.

And this smile that is gracing Joohyun at this moment-- the lift, the crinkle, the dimple, the whitest teeth, the lipgloss in coral-- is perfect as it is.

"Tell me what you're looking for. Maybe I can help you find it. Since, you know, I work here," the girl chuckles.

Wendy. 

Joohyun almost didn't notice the name tag. Whoever decided to use beige fonts on white acrylic? And to think this is an art supply store.

Well, at least they're five stars on customer service.

"Holbein oil pastels, set of 15."

"Ooh, premium stuff."

"Something has to compensate for my mediocre skills," Joohyun deadpans.

Of course, it's a joke. With some truth to it.

Any stranger would just laugh it off.

"I doubt anything is mediocre about you."

Okay, maybe this store really has a different sales training than most because why does that sound a lot like flirting?

But what does Joohyun know?

What does Joohyun know besides she at finding things because it hasn't been 10 seconds and Wendy is handing her what she came here for 20 minutes ago.

"'You're not exceptional,'" Joohyun blurts out as she reaches for the pack of oil pastels in Wendy's hand.

"Um, what?" Wendy asks, confusion painting her face, and this is why Joohyun wished she could draw that smile because it wasn't gonna be there forever.

"I meant I'm not exceptional," Joohyun clarifies. "I'm sorry, I was quoting my late old man."

"Well, you know how they are; they always leave us with something to carry. At least your baggage came with cash."

Of course, it's the truth. With some joke to it. But Joohyun can't bring herself to laugh. It's too heavy for small talk.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line," Wendy shakes her head and smiles a trained sales staff kind of smile. "Is there anything else? Because the cashier here is kind of a ," she whispers.

"No, I'm good (your number, maybe). Thanks for your help (do you wanna get coffee while I get hot chocolate because I don't drink coffee)."

"All righty, then," Wendy smiles that smile again, tucking her hands in the low pockets of her indigo work apron. She turns on her heels, off to the brushes aisle that looks like it's been a venue for some kids pretend-sword fight.

If the cashier wasn't a , Joohyun would be helping her pick up the long rigger and flat brushes scattered on the ivory ceramic tiles. 

Taeyeon called, craving for fish cakes from a shop with longlines 24/7. For someone who's scared that Joohyun might get picked up like a sack of potatoes potentially by one of her crazy admirers, she's pretty unbothered.

It's almost 11 in the evening; not exactly late by college student standard, but too late for a woman to be walking alone. But what's 10 blocks away if not a waste of fuel and taking a parking space from someone who actually needs it?

She hopes she'll be mistaken for a boy in her outfit.

Said hope crumbles in a matter of seconds. Bless her huge ears, even through her hoodie, she hears the footsteps from behind.

She picks up her pace and so does the person behind her.

She runs and so does the person behind her.

Jesus. A week has passed without incident. Just when she thought Joy's gift won't have to serve its purpose, this happens.

Joohyun digs into her pocket; she's not looking forward to using it. But…

"I'm sorry for the pain!" She screams, eyes closed, as she turns around, dropping Spectra's paper bag and the fishcakes on the pavement, two hands now tagging team, pushing down on the spray bottle's pump.

"Jesus F...ruitcake…" Joohyun hears, with a tumble, after incoherent strings of curse words.

She opens her eyes, looks down.

"Oh, my God!"

It's tiny.

And blonde.

And blue.

"Wendy?!"

"Uh, yeah, from the art supply… Spectra. Joohyun, right?" She manages as she tries to stand up. The lack of vision and the stinging are making it a challenge. "You dropped your uni I.D. at the store," she adds. "It's in here somewhere," she feels for the card in her leather jacket's pocket and takes it out. "Here."

Joohyun looks at her pepper spray-armed hand. She shakes the bottle.

Now empty.

She puts it back in her pocket. It's potential evidence of this potential crime. She's not taking her chances.

"Why didn't you call out my name?!" Joohyun screams, in panic, in concern, in confusion. She takes her I.D. from poor, poor Wendy and shoves it in her pocket. She then squats, draping the girl's arm over her shoulder, helping her up.

"It's late. I didn't want to wake the neighbors."

Ridiculous.

"I could have killed you!"

She hears the girl laugh. Despite the evident pain.

"With my thesis? No, you couldn't."