Chapter 36
The Ambiguity Of Selfishness
Minseok tottered only a little bit after warping onto the rooftop. He also shivered because, despite his body slowly getting used to the idea of ignoring temperature, he still felt and reacted as any human would: rubbing his arms and hunching.
“This is the place according to your address, Chanyeol. Good luck.”
“Thank you, Kai.”
The space demon winked and blinked out. As the angel looked out to the sunset, he looked calm, but Minseok could see his nervousness from the way he gripped his hands. Sidling closer, he held in a little sigh of relief at the warmth Chanyeol emitted and instead focused.
“So does your person know that we’re coming?”
He jumped, which surprised Minseok into jumping.
“Uhm, apologies. I’m nervous, and now that you mentioned it, I didn’t notify him beforehand…”
“Do you want to do that first?”
“But if he agrees to it, then we’ll have to wait for a while to not seem suspicious, and if he says no, then I won’t be able to talk to him today, and I’m barely holding in all my thoughts right now because I finally got the courage to do it today—”
“Hey, Chanyeol, it’s fine. I was just asking just in case. He sounds like a patient guy, so I’m sure he’ll understand if you say that you just couldn’t hold it in.”
Patting the angel on the shoulder and jerking back at the heat, Minseok pointed to the door and led the way off the rooftop. He had Chanyeol review his points and rehearse what he wanted to say as they walked to the right floor and corridor.
The timing aligned quite perfectly when Chanyeol texted and asked him if he was available to be his moral support today. Chen had gone to investigate something, and Kai could teleport them across a few cities rather than Chanyeol flying Minseok over or going through two angel portals. Ports could only take people across spheres, he had learned.
Helping the angel out also helped Minseok albeit for selfish reasons. The ice dummy incident made guilt gnaw at him. He didn’t know that the prank would impact Chen that badly, and the way the usually proud and certain demon had trembled in his arms—Minseok felt his chest hurt thinking about it again.
Even though Chen said that his reaction wasn’t from fear, Minseok had a feeling that it was, but he couldn’t push if Chen would have such a visceral reaction. He sighed a little.
“Is something wrong?”
“What? Oh, no, it’s nothing.”
“You know that you cannot lie to an angel. What’s on your mind?”
“Hm, well, I did this ice dummy technique during training and Chen’s reaction was… It kinda scared me.”
“Was he mad?”
“No, the opposite. He looked so scared.”
“Chen afraid? Ah, the demons of Tehom are different from most other demons. Maybe something happened in the past for him to feel so strongly towards your technique.”
“Maybe... I hear that a lot—that Tehom demons are different. Different how?”
“Everything. They still have their pride, of course, but they’re generally more tolerable to be around. Chen and Kai are the first Tehom ones I’ve met, but compared to other demons, I can actually hold a conversation with them for longer than a minute and of topics not related to the mission. Basically, Tehom demons don’t think of the mission, glory, and fighting twenty-four-seven.”
“Chen told me before that Suho would never let someone like me into the demonic military school or another legion. Is there a reason for that?”
“Commander Suho is rumored to be… a bit odd. Commander Unmaik of Neshiyyah too, but Commander Suho has worse reputation. They say that he only lets powerful demons into his legion to keep his mission success rate and prestige high. After meeting Chen and Kai though, I don’t think that’s the real reason. If he’s letting you into his legion—no offence—and considering Chen and Kai, I rather think that he just treats his demons differently. Those who are different, weak, or powerful but without status or aggression are often discriminated against, so I think that Commander Suho takes in demons like that.”
Minseok took a second to process that information, and a mostly not-related question popped into his head.
“Do most angelics think that?”
“I don’t think so. Most go by the popular rumors even after meeting demons of Tehom.”
“Then why don’t you?”
Chanyeol blinked in surprise but thought for a moment.
“Information is fluid, and angelics are not above spreading gossip out of spite. I also usually protect humans while being amongst them, so I’ve learned the ways of not trusting rumors so much. My commander is also someone who doesn’t like to believe in them if there is no proof, and I find her a noble angel to follow.”
“Who’s your commander?”
“Commander Haaka of the Glory Ishim.”
That name seemed familiar, but Minseok shrugged the feeling away as they neared the right door. Chanyeol was soon gripping and clenching his hands again, so he patted the angel’s shoulder.
“Take a deep breath and relax. You know what you want to tell him about—start with how you’re telling him this out of concern for his safety, then go from there.”
“Breathing doesn’t do the same for us as for humans, Minseok. We breathe to draw power from our respective spheres. Plus, I’m still nervous.”
“Well, even if so, don’t in air like a gasping fish. Take one deep breath at a time. And slowly.”
He ended up modeling how to breathe calmly for the angel and giving him solutions to what-ifs, no matter how preposterous.
“Okay. Okay, I’m going to do it now.”
“Yeah, go get ‘em. I’ll stay outside and wait—”
Aura hummed from the other side of the door. It felt like power flying out of control, searching for outlets, dark and wild, but also familiar. Just as Minseok reached to shake Chanyeol and ask for confirmation, another pulsed from within, weaker and lighter.
“Baekhyun—”
Before Minseok could even process that name, fire burst from Chanyeol’s skin, and he shot through the door. Fire crackled, wood splintered, and Minseok ducked away from the heat out of instinct. But he couldn’t just lie here on the ground. Didn’t Chanyeol say—
He sprang to his feet and jumped through the engulfed doorway. Two entities coated in fire and electricity raged inside the apartment, the two elements scorching and lashing at each other. The fire lunged, only for the electricity to zip around and smash Chanyeol into the ground. Minseok dashed closer, readying his own power, but he paused. The light was blinding, but Minseok knew this aura, and he definitely knew that slim waist and lithe form.
“Chen, wait!”
The entity stopped and looked back, and the electricity instantly grounded out. If this had been any other situation, he might've been able to laugh at how wide Chen's eyes had gotten.
“Minseok? What’re you doing here?”
“Wait—urgh—is that Chen’s voice? Ah, …”
“Chanyeol? The are you doing here with Minseok?”
“I came to see Baekhyun…”
“, he’s in the room.”
The two started bickering about something, but Minseok couldn’t hear their exact words. His attention locked onto the other movement in the room, on the couch, where both the fire and electricity had left uncharred, where a blanket was shifting underneath. He held his breath as a hand popped out, then a head, then the face he recognized even after a near decade.
“Ulgh, goddamnit, Jongdae. You got the fibers in my mouth…”
The person stopped as his gaze landed on the flames currently eating the curtains and floorboards, the electricity currently making the T.V sputter on the same image, and then the two angelics who still hadn’t gotten up from their wrestle on the floor. He turned his head opposite, and his eyes landed on Minseok, and the incredulous gaze morphed into freezing shock. Baekhyun threw off the blanket and stood, taking a step forward then back.
“M-Minseok? I… I—”
Minseok launched himself at his old friend and wrapped him in a hug. He let out the breath he was holding, shuddering. His friend had gotten thinner but also a little taller, and when Minseok finally remembered to breathe, he still smelled that obnoxiously strong strawberry-scented shampoo. He squeezed him close, and Baekhyun squeezed him back.
“Minseok, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those— I was wrong. I was such a bad friend and person to you—”
“It’s okay. You weren’t a bad friend or person. I get why you said all that, and I’m sorry too, for pushing you away. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying! This is an expression of pent-up frustration! It’s been at least eight years, and I had to live with this ing guilt every time I went to work because I switched to relationship counseling because I was goddamn compensating—”
He yanked himself back and punched Minseok in the shoulder. It didn’t actually hurt despite the full-on swing, but he jumped from the sudden act.
“And then you just ing show up in the middle of my abnormal session with my anti-social-experimented-on-government agent of a patient, and my curtains are on fire, and there are lightning marks on my walls. Inside. My. ing. Apartment.”
Baekhyun screamed into the air, while Minseok heard Chanyeol whisper-asking Chen if they did anything, Chen making some disgusted sound, and Chanyeol flaring up and asking why he didn’t find Baekhyun attractive, which made the flames around him flare too. Ah, yeah, they probably needed to solve the immediate problem of accidentally activating the building-wide smoke alarm first.
So he sat Baekhyun down and moved to the nearest window to let out the smoke, grabbed some napkins sitting on the table, wet them, and gave them to Baekhyun to breathe through before turning on the two angelics.
“Chanyeol, can you call your flames back? And Chen, I want you to list down all the furniture you two destroyed.”
“I didn’t destroy anything! I was super careful in how I was going to kick his even before I knew whose it was.”
Chanyeol covered his face.
“Don’t be embarrassed. No angel can beat me in a fight.”
“Chen, list! Chanyeol, if you please. I’ll go handle the neighbors who I know will be wondering what that giant explosion was.”
Chen grumbled as he went to find some paper, and Minseok could already hear the murmurs and gasps of the other apartment residents. He moved to turn on his manager mode, but a little tug to his shirt made him stop.
Baekhyun glanced from him to Chanyeol putting out the flames to him again, worry in his eyes. Minseok gave his best look of reassurance and patted his shoulder.
The neighbors were curious no doubt, especially after Minseok created an ice door to cover the soot and blackened hole that had been the doorway. He surprised them and himself when he said that he was just helping an old friend redecorate the entire flat into a Santa and snow playground so that his friend’s sickly nephew could experience Christmas with his entire family for the first time—and the ‘explosion,’ smoke smell, and flickering electricity of the entire floor was because they accidentally dropped the wood for a handmade rocking horse, they were using the power cutter and welding some metal and electrical components for a ride-on toy car, and accidentally messed with the wiring while installing some garland lights.
Once they had all gone, and Minseok opened the ice door and walked back into the apartment, he found three people sitting around the now slightly-singed living room filled with awkward. Well, he could tell that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were awkward by how they were sitting and fidgeting. Chen looked straight-up unnerved, even jumping when Minseok walked back inside. Frowning a little, he moved around to the table (acting as a make-shift bench for the angelics) and gave the demon a hug before sitting next to Baekhyun on the couch.
“So what’d you come up with, Chen?”
He handed him the list, and Minseok and Baekhyun was pleasantly surprised at the fact that the list didn’t extend ten pages.
“I can help pay for the walls and structural things. I’m sure we have leftover materials from my workplace.”
“What do you do now, Minnie?”
“I’m a Responsible Disposal Advocate Specialist Manager at Alternatives in Disposal Solutions.”
“What?”
“I’m a manager at a waste and construction disposal plant.”
“Ah.”
“I have extra saved up, so I’ll just help you out with the other stuff too. Oh, and you might want to decorate the outside of your door with a Santa and snow theme because I told your neighbors that you were remodeling your apartment to give Christmas joy to your sickly nephew.”
“…What.”
“Did your sister finally get married to her fiancé and have kids? Because then you could actually invite them over.”
“Yes, she did, but wow, your lying skills have not improved at all.”
“Hey, your neighbors bought it, and I like to think that becoming a demon is also making me be able to lie better. Or at least quicker.”
“…What?”
Oh. He let that slip a little too soon, but it was coming out anyway. He glanced at Chanyeol, but the angel wouldn’t look up. He glanced at Chen, but the demon stared at the floor. Okay, odd.
“So Baekhyun, there’s a long story that we couldn’t really tell you because we weren’t allowed to, but now me and Chanyeol felt that you should know…”
He looked to Chanyeol, but the angel didn’t pick up on his lead-in, so Minseok just awkwardly cleared his throat. Chen, however, spoke up.
“This is the guardee I was talking about. We were chasing another demon, she escaped and accidentally gave her aura to Minseok, which is turning him into a demon too. And we think that she needs true neutral souls, which you have, so we have to protect you.”
Minseok nodded at the succinct explanation, even as Baekhyun just hard blinked at him. He started filling in the essential details, from the truth about angelics protecting humans, a little about how angelic auras worked, and how, yeah, he had to learn how to control the ice growing out of his fingertips so that he wouldn’t become supernatural mincemeat.
After he was done, Baekhyun didn’t say anything. He had his left arm supporting his right as it assumed the thinking pose he always donned whenever they were studying. The three of them waited for the doctor to speak, and Minseok could actually feel Chen’s static poking at the air. Maybe Baekhyun could too, because he glanced at the demon. He suddenly stood, gathered the blanket (and a cat plush?) that had been tossed aside, and helped Chen up.
“Everyone aside from Jongdae—Chen—please leave for a moment. We were in the middle of a counseling session.”
Minseok wasn’t expecting that but nodded and even chuckled a little. Baekhyun had always taken his sessions with patients very seriously. Moving around to Chanyeol, he nudged the angel up and led them outside. As he closed the door though, he couldn’t help a little look to Chen. Baekhyun laid the blanket over his shoulders and seemed to be murmuring something, to which Chen flinched and shook his head. Minseok shut the door, taking a deep breath as his chest clenched.
Chanyeol sauntered over to the other wall, slid down, and covered his face. Where Chen’s aura would fray in worry, Chanyeol’s sizzled. Yeah, Minseok felt that. He followed and sat next to him, sighing.
“Don’t worry about Baekhyun kicking us out. He always took his sessions super seriously. I doubt that that has changed.”
“Really? You don’t think… he hates me?”
“Why would he hate you?”
“Because… I don’t know. He told me about his friend whom he had guilt towards, but I hadn’t known that it was you. A-And I didn’t know that you knew him either! I wouldn’t have asked you to come if I knew that you two had an uncomfortable past. I guess that’s my fault since I didn’t tell anyone aside from Chen that Baekhyun was the person I liked as well as one of the people we need to protect...”
Minseok chuckled.
“We’re fine. I know I’ll get an earful from him later. I also wanted to meet him again to apologize. Chen found him by chance and recently told me about him, so there’s nothing for you to apologize for. However, I do expect you to still tell him about how you’ll be protecting him and what not.”
Chanyeol pulled back to give him a look, and Minseok just gave him a pointed eyebrow raise. The angel sighed.
“Yes. Okay. I’ll see how much I tell him at once. I don’t want to overwhelm him. I’m also just embarrassed because I blazed in there like an idiot, and that was such a terrible start to what I want to tell him.”
“Not to mention he didn’t know about the angelic elements, you attacked Chen, and he pinned you in the fight.”
He snickered as Chanyeol scrunched up his face in despairing embarrassment. The conversation lapsed into silence, and Minseok stared up at the ceiling as he waited. He started counting the plaster texture blobs when his senses started to reach outward, through the door, into a certain living room.
He shook his head. He would not eavesdrop on Chen’s private talk with a certified counselor. Even though he wanted to know what Chen couldn’t talk about with him, why he seemed so nervous—did it have to do with the ice dummy incident? Did he hurt him?
“Thank you.”
He looked up. Chanyeol had a small smile, though there was a small glow of worry.
“For coming to help me as well as giving an excuse to the other humans. You handled them and us very well. Must be your experience as a manager.”
Minseok chuckled. He knew what the angel was doing and gave his silent gratitude.
“It’s nothing.”
“On the contrary, skills like that are what make great coordinators, lords, and commanders. There are fewer demon coordinators, but they exist. I think something similar to that position would suit you.”
“I don’t know. I’d have to learn a lot about the supernatural world. Like, Yixing-level knowledge.
“Actually, I think Yixing is exceptional in knowledge even for a coordinator. I’ve asked him where he got his knowledge about proxies, and he said that he studied in all the libraries of both heaven and hell. That takes dedication.”
The door opened before Minseok could respond, and they both looked up. Baekhyun paused before he straightened. His old friend had always been able to look composed, but now Minseok could smell his old friend’s stress spike.
“Minseok, can you come in?”
Nodding, he stood and moved inside, Baekhyun even opening the door for him and everything. When he walked into the living room, Chen sat facing away from the door, huddled in the blanket. He turned his ear back to him but not enough to show his face. Minseok swallowed the lump of foreboding building in his throat and sat next to Chen because no matter how… insecure Minseok was feeling, he wouldn’t let that inhibit showing his support. Baekhyun walked back in, sitting on the table since the remains of a chair were piled in the corner.
“We can finally have a more standard session now that the both of you are here. Normally, I’d have you two state a progress check, but I think this far in, I have a good idea where you two stand, so I’m going to have a brief questioning for you, Minseok. I already know Jongdae’s—Chen’s—answers.”
He nodded, and Baekhyun leveled his counselor’s laser gaze at him.
“What is your relationship with Chen?”
“He’s my romantic partner, and I’m his prey.”
“You consider this relationship to be serious and a long-term one that you wish to maintain?”
“Yes.”
“Can you describe his personality to me?”
“Catty.”
Chen and Baekhyun turned to him, the demon staring, the doctor raising his eyebrows.
“Would you describe that a little more?”
“As Chen told me before, he is a cat. So as much as he is hissy, bristly, and truculent, he’s also a soft cuddly fluffball.” Minseok hooked an arm around him and pressed his cheek into his shoulder. “Don’t try to deny it, Chen.”
When Chen didn’t move to hug him back or say anything, Minseok looked over, and his eyes bulged out of his sockets at what he saw. His lips quivering, his eyes shimmering in amber, Chen blinked, and tears started running down his cheeks.
“Jong—Chen, why don’t you tell Minseok what you told me? I think that he’ll understand.”
The demon clamped onto him, hiding his face past Minseok’s shoulder, but that was how he heard the tiny voice that cracked in his ears.
“You were right. I was afraid. I was afraid that you would… leave. Or be taken away from me. This happened before, with my denmate after I saved him from the tournament. I figured it out with Baekhyun’s help, but I didn’t want you to know. If you knew, then you might think me weak, or try to protect me against something too dangerous and get hurt, or I’ll lose control completely and won’t be able to save you. I… I don’t want to be weak.”
“Hey, now. You’re not weak. I never thought that.”
“But this—and when I can’t control my own body or mind—that’s weakness.”
“Chen, it's okay to be afraid. Expressing your emotions isn’t weak, and neither is sharing them with someone. I have literally bawled my eyes out to you more than twice, and you know my habit whenever I spoke about my family. Does that make me weak?”
“But you’re originally human.”
“What—so that excludes all other creatures from feeling? Demons aren’t allowed to cry? Who said that to you?”
For all the tension in the air and Minseok’s own winding anger at whatever could’ve filled Chen’s head with nonsense, he dropped it all when Chen made a small chuckle.
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