— 01 —

In summer, when she was twelve, Seulgi had her first kiss.

 

She ran to tell Irene, her longtime best friend, for help. Although Irene was only a year older, she certainly had more experience than her, she even had a boyfriend.

 

She needed to know if it was okay to not feel anything when the cutest boy in the class, whom she believed to be in love with, kissed her under the tree in her backyard as he walked her home after school.

 

"Honey, it's okay." Irene reassured by placing both hands on her cheeks. "It was not as you thought, but there is no need to be alarmed."

 

She met Irene on the first day of fifth grade in elementary school, when Irene had to repeat the year for having dislocated her left shoulder after fainting in the bathroom of her house and missing many classes due to constant medical rest. The blonde wore long blue socks, stud earrings, and her shoulder length short hair cut by herself. Of course Irene was full of lice back then (she didn't know), but Seulgi had always been a lonely girl, so she ran into Irene's arms. They became inseparable.

 

"I am a wall." The girl said worriedly, generating the familiar laugh of her friend.

 

"No, you are not," Irene said, running her thumbs across her face, stopping on the lips.

 

She moved a little closer, alternating the sight between her eyes and , and without further ado… she kissed her.

 

It lasted a few seconds only. The ones where Seulgi felt fireworks explode inside her, trite as it sounds.

 

"Well? Still nothing?" Irene asked her once she pulled away.

 

Seulgi didn't respond, instead she approached Irene, being the one to kiss her friend this time.

 

 

 

— 02 —

A SCAPE

 

They never spoke about it.

 

In the summer of 1992 in Southern California, Seulgi gets her first job at a gas station.

 

She just has to attend the cafeteria customers, clean the tables, and occasionally fill the gas tank of one or two cars. It is not exciting, she doesn't love it, but tips are useful and work keeps her away from home, she doesn't like being at home.

 

It is a hot Friday afternoon, she has already finished her shift, she was preparing to walk home when Irene arrives by surprise. She was driving her boyfriend's car. 

 

Woojin was a baseball player, a decent one to say the least. He and Irene met two years ago in college, when she began studying photography. He got injured right before the end of the year championships, so his career was ruined in the blink of an eye. He enjoyed paying off his frustrations on Irene. 

 

She parked right in front of her, turned off the engine, and leaned back in the seat of the classic sky blue convertible owned by Woojin's grandfather.

 

Seulgi observed her for the brief of a moment.

 

There she was, sporting her beautiful blonde hair, now so long. She wore dark sunglasses and carried a lollipop in her hand, just like she was straight out of one of those summer teen movies.

 

Seulgi wondered how someone like Irene could be her friend. During her school days she was always the girl who sat in the back in the last chair at the back of the classroom, the plump little girl that no one wanted to be friends with, but Irene never cared what other people believed. It was instantaneous, they clicked. Seulgi didn't have a bit of self-esteem, she had nothing but a pure feeling to offer: her friendship. Irene had no one, nothing mattered too much to her and she had always had that kind of feeling of wanting to take care of others emanating from her. Wendy and Joy would join the equation later, but the bond the two shared was something else.

 

"Get in," she said, opening the passenger door.

 

"Where we go?" Seulgi asked, getting into the car anyway.

 

"Where do you want me to take you?" Irene leaned her face toward to stare at her over the sunglasses, not taking them off. 

 

That question hid a much greater meaning than any of them were ever willing to admit.

 

"Away," she responded. There was nothing else to it, looking at her with equal intensity.

 

Irene broke eye contact, gave a short laugh starting the engine again to start the car and drive away from there.

 

 

— 03 —

A CONFESSION

 

The following month, on a warm day, they were drinking lemonade in the cafeteria of the gas station where Seulgi worked. It is when Wendy decides to confront her friend, there was no doubt, the situation was more than clear for her. Her friends were in love with each other. She nonetheless needed Seulgi to at least have the courage to say it out loud. 

 

Of the four, Seulgi was always the bravest.

 

"I don't like her," she is quick to deny herself once Wendy asks. "I am in love with her."

 

The expression on Wendy's face is priceless, because obviously she already knew. In fact, didn't everyone already know? Even Joy knew it, the redhead was so invested in her own world that she vaguely noticed anything else, that's how obvious it was.

 

"What can I do?" Seulgi asks after leaning over the bar.

 

The brunette meditates, she takes a quick look back to see Joy and Irene talking at the table. The redhead looked attentively towards the bar where they were, even while she was talking to Irene.

 

"Follow your heart," Wendy finally advises.

 

"That is the worst advice you can give anyone."

 

"Fine, then I'm going to help you," she says.

 

"How—?" The brunette turned around cutting her off. Seulgi looks at her other friend for answers, while Joy just shrugs.

 

“Yeri is going to hold a party tomorrow night,” says Wendy interrupting the conversation of the other two girls. "We should go to celebrate that finally, after who knows how many years, she graduates as a Philologist!"

 

"I don't think it's a good idea," says Irene. "Lately I haven't been feeling well, and since it's Seulgi's day off we planned to stay at my grandmother's house," she justifies herself, staring at Seulgi for help.

 

"Yeah, also, I think Yeri hates us," says Seulgi. That was a little bit of the truth. 

 

"Seriously Wendy, they have plans, let's go out another night," says Joy. 

 

"Come on girls! Just one night, I promise it will be fun,” says Wendy, the brunette is quite stubborn. "At least promise to think about it."

 

The subject ends there, then they continue chatting about other topics. 

 

 

— 04 —

A LOVE STORY

 

The morning of June 6, Seulgi had to pick up Irene, she arrived a little earlier to surprise her. 

 

She stared with disgust at the place where her friend just moved in with her boyfriend.

 

Irene's parents kicked her out of the house long ago to move to Colorado when she was fourteen. From then on she had been living with her grandmother, in a cute little house on the top of a hill. It was located somewhat far away, not many cars traveled the area, on foot it was about forty-five minutes, and near the house there was a white bridge where they liked to sit at night to see the stars or just talk.

 

It had been that way until now that she was twenty-one, but last week Woojin, as the failure that he was, after forcing Irene to quit college, decided it was time to move in together, so he took her to live in a cheap motel room.

 

She knocked a few times without getting a response. The door was open, so she just walked in.

 

She found Irene crying, her face covered by her hands, sitting on the edge of the bed, she was hurt. Her skin around the wrists and her cheek was bruised, her forehead was bleeding, dirtying part of her neck and her white blouse.

 

It was the first time she saw her friend in such a state.

 

Seulgi dropped the flowers that she had been holding in her hands, ran to help her friend, hugged her not caring about getting dirty herself.

 

Seulgi comforted her, she was holding her until she got tired of crying, then she went to the bathroom to check the medicine cabinet looking for something to clean her wounds, but she only found half empty bottles with expired pills.

 

She took an old flannel, ripped a piece and placed it under the tap.

 

“Irene, please let me help you, we have to do something. He is going to kill you at this rate." says Seulgi, anguished, pressing the damp cloth to her friend's injured forehead. “Why don't you just break up with him?” tears ran down Seulgi's face. 

 

“He would kill me if I leave.” 

 

“He's already started.”

 

Irene didn't answer, avoided her gaze at all costs allowing the brunette to clean her wounds.

 

"We need help," she continues, taking her by the shoulders. "Joy is a reporter she could..."

 

"No," Irene interrupts, bringing her hands to her friends chest, pushing slightly to create some distance between them. “I can't do it, Woojin's father is the police chief. I am alone in this, no one can help me. "

 

"I'm doing it," says Seulgi, her words being loud, yet creating silence in the room.

 

"You know what I mean," she finally blurts out after a while.

 

Irene is scanning her with the eyes. 

 

"Seulgi," she says, catching the girl's attention, in any other circumstance, Irene would never have addressed by her real name, thus demonstrating the seriousness of the matter. "Promise me you won't say a word."

 

Seulgi studies her face, she takes her time to do it, not because she is considering it, she just wants to make time. She's trying to find the right words.

 

"You know I can't do that."

 

"Swear you will," Irene insists. "For me," she asks with pleading eyes. "Swear it, honey."

 

"Seriously..." the noise of a car parking forced the brunette to shut up.

 

Both stared at each other, scared. Irene asked her to be quiet and took her friend's arm, helped her into the closet and she quickly sat back on the bed.

 

She was very nervous, but she had to control herself. For Seulgi.

 

Inside the closet, the girl felt her heart beat uncontrollably, she felt that she could faint at any moment. She heard him come into the room, she heard her friend greet him, then him yelling at her for looking a mess.

 

He continued, not stopping even when Irene began to sob helplessly, yelling at him believing that no one could hear or stop him.

 

But this time there she was, listening carefully to every word that came out of his mouth. When she heard the sound of a slap and her friend complain, she took Woojin's baseball bat from the back of the closet, gathering all her strength and channeling it into the grip of her right hand, took a deep breath and pushed the door out of the closet.

 

The next moment she can't remember well, but a man had destroyed not only her friend's life, but her own.

 

There's a deaf sound in her ears, until Irene takes her away from him by taking her from behind causing them both to fall to the ground.

 

"It's enough!"

 

There's was blood on the leaves of the gift that she just brought, they were dirty again. It was self defense, wasn't it? 

 

"Let's get out of here," says Irene, they leave the room taking nothing but Woojin's car keys.

 

 

— 05 —

A PLACE

 

Somehow, despite what happened just hours ago, she ends up getting ready at Wendy's house to go to Yeri's party.

 

"Listen," Irene says once they are far enough out of town. “This is what will happen now. We have to act normal,” the car engine turned off and her gaze fixed ahead staring into nothingness. "If we just disappear is going to be strange. I'll take you to Wendy's house, you go in, look for my dress and give it to me, you go back there, then you'll go to the party." Seulgi was about to ask what would happen to her, but Irene continued. “I will go to clean up and try to fix myself, I will meet you there, we need people to see us there, suddenly you will say that you feel bad and that I will take you home. We will pick up my grandmother and we will go far, far away from all this.” Seulgi nodded to her words, trusting her as always.

 

Wendy took it upon herself to groom them, as neither girl really knew what would be appropriated for the occasion.

 

Burgundy dress, sparkling silver heels, well-styled hair, and stunning makeup. It is what she observes in the mirror.

 

She hates it. 

 

She didn't like the dress when she tried it on in the store, even with what Irene said after seeing her. 

 

"You look gorgeous," whispered Irene, standing next to her in front of the large mirror in the fitting room area.

 

Why didn't she have the courage to say out loud how beautiful she looked as well? Irene was wearing a white blouse and skirt set.

 

“You both look gorgeous. Now, let's go home." said Joy behind them, she was annoyed and exhausted from waiting for Wendy, who had finally chosen her dress and it had taken just too long for her liking.

 

 

Later that night, she heads over to Irene's grandmother's house.

 

The blonde never appeared, however Seulgi wasn't alarmed by that, as there was a plan b.

 

"Now, in case I don't make it on time." Irene continued with the explanation of her plan. “We will meet at my grandma's house and we will go from there. If anyone asks, I'm sick and I called you to come see me. "

 

It had been a hell of a day, she was waiting all night for Irene to arrive.

 

At a certain point, she accepted that she would not come, which meant that plan b was underway.

 

They would pass by Seulgi's house, she would grab her stuff, she would take her savings and they would leave that place forever.

 

She ruffled her hair in disgust with the unnecessary amount of fixer, which along with the events of the day, were causing her a huge headache.

 

That was not the appropriate outfit to walk the streets at six in the morning, without giving the wrong impression of herself, that however, could not have mattered less. Seulgi would change into something more comfortable at Irene's grandmother's house.

 

Her feet begged for a break, so she paused her walk for a moment to remove the heels.

 

Much more comfortable now, she walked back barefoot. Anyway, she was close to reaching the house, she knew it when the familiar hill came into her vision field.

 

As she got closer she could better appreciate the crowd of people on the other side of the street, as well as the cameras, news vans, reporters, ambulances and police scattered throughout the scene of an apparent car accident when judging by the car completely destroyed among the rocks on the side of the road.

 

She could not identify what it was that made her approach the tragic scene, if it was a bad feeling, curiosity, inertia or just a hunch, but she did so.

 

She pushed her way through the crowd to better see who was the wounded person the paramedics were helping in the wrecked car, she pushed herself to the front, and she could regret for the rest of her life making that decision to approach in the first place.

 

That person was not only injured, that body that the paramedics carried was unconscious.

 

That was her best friend. That was Irene. 

 

Everything happened in seconds, in slow motion, she lost all control over herself. She only lunged next to her friend before they zipped the bag up, passing the security tape, ignoring the officers ordering her to stop.

 

Those were heartbreaking moments in which Seulgi begged for Irene to stand up, because they still had to go for her grandmother, they had to go through the old white bridge and sit on the railing one last time to admire the view before leaving forever. 

 

She tearfully asked to be left alone, to stop bothering Irene, because she hated having so much attention on her.

 

Fought with the paramedics not to take Irene from her side, however in the end, they did it.

 

Fell shattered, screaming her name over and over, watching her go. 

 

Once the ambulance was lost in the distance, and the crowd began to disperse, she gathered what little strength she had left and got up.

 

She wandered towards her destination with shuffling steps, getting closer and closer, thinking what to do after all, now would be she who should take care of Irene's grandmother.

 

God, how would Seulgi even tell her? How would they both continue from now on? She definitely couldn't do such a thing. She couldn't go on without Irene, she had no one else in the world.

 

Having spotted it, she slowly advanced towards the railing of the bridge, once she is in front it, she raises one of her legs leaning with both hands to help her up, it was difficult because the tears were descending incessantly, clouding her vision, she trembled too much so it was difficult for her to balance properly. 

 

When she manages to stabilize, she gets up turning around and having her back turned to the abyss.

 

A shattered sigh leaves her lips, yet she doesn't doubt the decision she has made.

 

Seulgi closes her eyes tightly, the memory of her best friend projecting in her mind is what she needs to finally drop.

 

And it is the end.

 

 

— 06 —

A SOULMATE (EPILOGUE)

“Have you ever been in love?” —skins. 

 

 

 

A gray car parks a few feet away from the hubbub, behind police cars. From it, a red-haired woman gets off and goes to the crime scene, shows her ID that acknowledges her as a reporter to one of the policemen so that he can allow her to pass.

 

She visualizes her fellow cameraman approaching where she was standing.

 

"Two girls, one was a car accident, the brakes were cut off and the other one slipped off the bridge," he sums up once he gets to her side, even though she didn't say a word, they had enough years working together to understand each other without using words. "Too bad, huh?"

 

"It's always a shame to lose a life," she concludes, taking her position in front of the camera and adjusting her hair into a ponytail before starting to shoot.

 

The cameraman starts the countdown and when he reaches two, it's time to do her job.

 

"The cause of death is presumed suicide, the unidentified body was found at seven in the morning in circumstances that indicate: she jumped from the bridge near where a car accident occurred hours before, leaving a deceased who in the same way has not yet has been identified by the authorities. Coincidentally, both bodies are of young people in their early twenties.”

 

After her work is finished, she takes one last look at the scene before heading to her car to go to her office and work on the written report of the events.

 

However, what she hears in the middle of the detectives conversation forces her to stop.

 

"We found something, a license," the man extends the object in his hand to the other.

 

"Choi Woojin"

 

Choi Woojin? Irene's boyfriend?

 

Hold on. 

 

She put the pieces together in her mind, making it all clear.

 

Were those girls her friends? Seulgi and Irene?

 

It couldn't be possible.

 

Then she remembered that night at Wendy's house, when Woojin went for Irene in his borrowed car, she went with him, then they came back after a short while, he left her back in the yard, only this time she was crying. She came over to comfort Irene, of course she did, she noticed that Irene was trying to hide her arm, she asked what had happened and she said it was nothing.

 

However, Joy could see the red spot on her pale skin. Of course she didn't say a word, she supposed it would be better not to since Irene surely wouldn't want Seulgi to find out about it. So in the cafeteria, Irene made her swear she wouldn't ever say a word about it, Joy hesitated while looking at the uneven makeup covering her left eye.

 

“Swear it to me, Joy,” Irene asked, looking at her straight in the eye, both of her hands in fists over the wooden table. 

 

Joy doubted, looking over to the two other girls. Now she can't help but fell guilty, but at the time, she did it to protect Seulgi. The latter was being interrogated by Wendy, they made eye contact and Joy shrugged, not knowing what to do either. 

 

“I swear,” Joy responded. Watching out of the corner of her eye how Wendy had just turn around and was approaching with Seulgi following her footsteps. So Joy leaned forward to quickly whisper, “But now, swear to me you getting out of there.” 

 

Irene didn't swear it. She didn't. 

 

Joy berated herself because she should have done something in time, and thus perhaps prevent things from having such a denouement. She knew that Woojin was a jerk, but she didn't believe that he was actually capable of hurting Irene, not physically. Not that bad. She even offered to drive Seulgi home that morning, but she declined the offer saying that she would walk to Irene's grandmother's house. 

 

All fell into place.

 

 

Somewhere a young brunette walks with silver heels dangling from her hand, with her disheveled hair and wearing a pretty burgundy dress, she is following a source of light that guides her towards the end of a road.

 

The road seems endless, she walks without knowing how much time has passed, or where she is really going.

 

Slowly that light transforms into a silhouette. The girl walks at a slow pace, unperturbed, she has a hunch, but she is not going to rush this time.

 

Getting closer to the unknown silhouette, she can detail that she is blonde, wears a white dress and is barefoot, however she cannot make out her blurred face, it was very familiar to her. She obeyed that impulse that dictated to bring both hands to her face, thus confirming her assumption.

 

She couldn't believe it.

 

Desperately they wrapped each other in an embrace, with no tears involved, overwhelmed by the joy.

 

They were finally together.

 

Forever.

 

 

 

                                                                                                  

{I struggled a lot because i wanted those beautiful illustrations through out the text, but i couldn't manage to do so.

I first wrote this when I was 17 years old, I thought this would never see the light, I also thought this would be the only chance for SUMMERTIME. I used to be quite proud of this back then. 

Visually inspired by rv icc (yet all of them can't be blonde, only Irene), lyrically inspired by Lana del Rey's Summertime Sadness, and lastly inspired by my childhood friend which I was in love with. I love you María, you changed my life.

I MIGHT EDIT THIS LATER, I JUST WANTED TO POST, IT WAS TAKING TOO LONG

all credits for layouts to @jaeknight}