Jennie has been staring at the blank Excel sheet on her computer for at least an hour now. Her cubicle was nicely decorated, still looking the same as it did when she first started working for this corporation. The only thing different now is that the framed picture of her and her ex lover was laying face down on the desk. It has been sitting like that for at least 6-7 years, maybe more. Jennie lost count of the years that have passed; each and every single day was the same for her. But this particular one, was more difficult to go through than the others. 

The fragrance of the freshly cut bouquet of pink roses did nothing but bring back memories. Memories from far back in the past that sometimes makes Jennie think that everything happened in her imagination. The bouquet with a note was on her desk since she came into work, and by the handwriting, Jennie knew it was from her co-worker. A small little gesture that Jisoo did each year to show that she remembers and cares about her birthday. After all these years Jisoo still didn't know that Jennie hates roses, but she can't be blamed. Jennie never mentioned it and all she could do is to appreciate them.

Red, white, yellow, multicolored, Jennie hated all kinds of roses - especially the pink ones. The pink ones reminded her of Roseanne, her first and probably her last love. For Jennie, Roseanne was her everything at some point in time. She never loved someone so deeply before and after so many years the same love still remained. 

Jennie still carried this love for Roseanne and probably could never let go of it. The love she felt in the present time was not the passionate, intimate and romantic love she felt towards Roseanne when they first started dating. This love was a feeling that faded with time and somehow transformed into unconditional love. There was no more passion, no more intimacy, no more romance, but a pure and painful kind of love that was locked up inside Jennie's heart. 

It's funny how you can still love someone so genuinely, so selflessly after all the bad things that happened. Jennie admits she made mistakes in their relationship, but Roseanne's departure caught her off guard. Roseanne always understood Jennie's struggle with anxiety and depression, but maybe she had enough at some point and had to leave for her own sanity. It's funny how you are still able to love someone who left you at your lowest, when you needed that someone the most. It's funny how you can love someone who you now consider a complete stranger. 

+++

"I knew I'd find you here, birthday girl." Jennie one last mouthful of smoke into her lungs, before throwing it on the ground. She heard the light footsteps of Jisoo approaching her. 

"Thanks for the flowers and the note." 

"Don't mention it." Jisoo grabbed her own pack of cigarettes and lit one up. She offered one to Jennie, but she refused. 

"I never knew you smoked." Jennie said as the other woman's action caught her attention. 

"I don't normally, but I need it sometimes." Jennie understood perfectly, especially because she couldn't live without nicotine in her system for not even a day. First it started as a distraction but with time, smoking turned into a habit that she couldn't get rid off. "I hope you're free tonight." 

"I'm actually not." Jennie didn't hesitate one bit to refuse Jisoo, knowing too well this will be an invitation to one of those parties. It was a Friday after all. 

A cold January Friday, colder than the past ones Jennie experienced. She didn't remember the day of her birthday to have such low temperatures, but with each year flying by, the 16th of January felt like the coldest day of all 365. 

"Going home, getting drunk off wine and passing out at 9pm aren't plans, Jennie." The older woman said as she placed her coat on the now shivering