"Are you a ?"

Ryujin's fingers freeze midair almost dropping the piece of meat in between her chopsticks. Her eyebrows shoot up.

Not a typical conversation starter from Yuna.

"No." Ryujin answers honestly before bringing food into , she chews slowly and inwardly grimaces at the sheer memory of her first time.

She was in high school and wanted to know "What it was like" and that was how she ended up, in a dingy bedroom with a guy she didn't even really like. The ordeal lasted a solid 5 minutes, the guy, Jisung, gave her a high five, threw on some pants, and left the room only to return minutes later with chips and salsa while she put her clothes back on. She proceeded to finish her biology homework on his bed. The salsa was good. He was not.

Anyways, to say the least.. her first time was.. anticlimactic.

Yuna's eyes go wide, so wide Ryujin thinks they might pop out of her head. "Really? When?"

"When I was 17." Ryujin regrets the words that fly out of when Yuna grins and her eyes glint with interest.

"So.. my age?" Yuna drawls.

Ryujin glares as Yuna munches happily on a cheese stick and dips it into soup, oblivious to panic brewing under Ryujin's skin. With her appetite suddenly dissipating she puts down her chopsticks with a thump snatching Yuna's attention.

"Why are you asking?" Ryujin demands and Yuna looks at the abandoned chopsticks, then Ryujin and her eyes feign innocence.

"Because I'm curious." Yuna shrugs, her long, dark hair swishes with the movement and Ryujin's nostrils is hit with something akin to appley- cinnamoney shampoo. It steals the spotlight for a second. At the tender age of seventeen when most go through their awkward teenage phase, Yuna gets to flourish like a woman and Ryujin thinks it's unfair how gorgeous she looks doing absolutely nothing, eventually Ryujin tears her eyes away from the distracting tresses.

"There's not much to be curious about, first times are always awkward." Ryujin says trying to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters, but Yuna seems bent on driving her insane today.

"I wouldn't know... yet."  Ryujin glares pointedly at Yuna.

"Okay, stop beating around the bush," Ryujin's voice is tinged with concern, "what's really going on?"

Yuna grows silent and and looks away, Ryujin bites her lip and a storm of possibilities thoughts rip though her mind at breakneck pace.

She feels goes dry and the thought of her little Yuna under some guy on an old, musty couch- it makes her want to scream and vomit at the same time, It makes her want to Scomit, and before Ryujin can vehemently shriek everything she's ever learned at those painfully awkward high school ed. class, Yuna looks at her sheepishly and scratches the back of her neck.

"That's not how I wanted to go about this.. I panicked.. " Yuna admits. Ryujin's thoughts take a back pedal. She keeps her eyes on Yuna, waiting for some sore of explanation. Yuna heaves a sigh, its so deep, Ryujin's brows knit together.

"I.. haven't told you, or any of the other members yet. I'm probably into girls. Probably." Yuna purses her lips together at her own confession and -

Oh.

"Probably?" Ryujin asks folding her arms on the table trying to look as unfazed as possible.

"Probably." Yuna averts her gaze and she looks smaller and vulnerable under the dim lights of their dining room. The silence that hangs in the air is almost suffocating.

Yuna breaks the thick atmosphere first, "I hope that didn't make things weird," Yuna leans back. The shiftiness in her eyes leaves a heavy feeling in Ryujin's stomach.

This is Yuna. Confident, beautiful, fresh Yuna. That look on Yuna's face doesn't belong there.

She doesn't know what comes over her, but she wants Yuna to know- that she is safe here, with Itzy, with Ryujin. Always.

"No, it didn't, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me." Ryujin reaches over and places her hand over Yuna's. The small gesture is more than enough and Yuna exhales the breath she had been holding. The worry melts off her face and Ryujin smiles in relief.

"I don't have a say in what you can and can't do, but uh, I think it's important to explore safely and... well, find out what you like. So if you have questions or whatever, don't hesitate to ask me..?" Yuna giggles at how strained Ryujin sounds. She meets her eyes and something flickers to life in them. Ryujin smiles and Yuna returns one. She beams so bright, Ryujin swears the somberness of the kitchen is given new light.

"Ryujin unnie, you're the best." Ryujin hears these words from Yuna on a daily. Still, it springs a smile onto her face.

"I know." Yuna laughs and intertwines her fingers with Ryujin's and Ryujin lets her do whatever she wants because she doesn't really mind.

Ryujin hears sniffling, she hears sniffling at midnight and she doesn't want to wonder or worry about who is crying so she hops to her feet despite her tired, muddled, sleep induced form telling her to stay in bed, and throws a cardigan over her shoulders. She leaves her room and the first thing she sees is the kitchen light, burning and lit. She has to squint her eyes, but she makes out Yuna's form curled up on one of the dining room chairs.

"Yuna?" Her voice comes out groggier than she'd expected, but Yuna doesn't even hear her, her sniffles build into sobs and, Ryujin's mind blanks into frustration. She takes quick steps to where Yuna sits, Ryujin leans over her lurched body and places her hand gingerly on her shoulder before trying again. "Yuna?"

This jolts her tear streaked face up and Ryujin grimaces at the crestfallen red rimmed eyes that are still b with tears.

"Unnie? I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just-" Ryujin pulls her into her arms and feels Yuna's body melt further into them. Ryujin is a safe place, she knows, Yuna knows. Cries are muffled into Ryujin's night shirt and shaky hands fist the fabric of her clothing.

"I have you, you'll be okay." Ryujin whispers this like a mantra and soon Yuna's sobs are reduced to heavy breaths. Ryujin waits.

"I broke up with my girlfriend. Its stupid, I- I know I just didn't think-" Yuna's voice cracks and a lone tear trickles down the side of her face. Ryujin's eyes widen.

Since when was Yuna seeing anybody?

She listens to her ramble on about her ex and how hard It was hiding their relationship. They had lasted a couple months and Yuna hadn't told many people, not even Ryujin. Ryujin puts the pieces together when Yuna talks.

She didn't trust her enough to tell her about it sooner, and Ryujin doesn't deny that it stings, because it does.

She quickly pushes the thought out of her mind, but it's too late, because Yuna has read her expression like a book.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you." Ryujin looks back at her with the most nonchalant look she can muster up.

"Its okay, Its not my place to know everything." Ryujin says these words despite herself and Yuna frowns.

"No, don't say that." Yuna shifts herself so she can face Ryujin. "You're important to me, I'm sorry." Ryujin bites her lip shut.

"Alright, alright, then make sure, I'm the first to know next time." Ryujin rises to her feet and drags her way over to the fridge, Yuna follows her with her eyes. Ryujin holds a finger to her lips and whispers a small "shh", she looks left and right like she's in some spy movie. Yuna giggles when Ryujin pulls out a tub of ice cream from the freezer and two spoons from the dish rack.

"Isn't it too late for ice cream?" Yuna smiles when Ryujin sets the tub carefully onto the table and pops the lid off.

"Its never too late for ice cream."

Yuna thinks about how they're supposed to be dieting because their next comeback is in a couple months and they can't afford to-

Ryujin is prodding a spoon of chocolate Ice cream up against her bottom lip and she wants to say no, but Ryujin looks at her and arches an eyebrow and their is something so unfairly Ryujin, about Ryujin that always seems to turn "no" into "yes".

"Now- don't be rude, open up." Yuna makes a big show of rolling her eyes and Ryujin breaks into a huge grin when she accepts the spoonful. "Good, right? The grocers' ran out of strawberry, but chocolate is alright too." Ryujin adds. Ryujin is all smiles and Yuna knows she is staring, but Ryujin is just so beautiful with her casually messed hair and wrinkled, tear stained jammies (oops).

Yuna wonders, if Ryujin knows how special she is to her.

"Ryujin unnie."

"Yeah?" Ryujin briefly lifts her head from the frozen dessert and blinks her big doe eyes in Yuna's direction.

"You're the best." Ryujin registers the words and then chuckles.

"I know." Yuna stifles a yawn with her hand, and Ryujin notices so after one more scoop each, she snaps the tub of ice cream shut, stuffs it back in the freezer and gives Yuna a quick hug goodnight. She waits for her to brush her teeth before watching her tip toe back into her dorm.

"Goodnight." Ryujin whispers. Yuna mouths back a silent "goodnight" and disappears, the door closes behind her. Ryujin sighs and flicks off the kitchen lights. All at once the tiredness that Ryujin feels is