Chaewon loves to sing. Something about it has always made her feel different- like she is on top of the world. No thoughts, head empty? Yeah, something like that.

 

She remembers when she stumbled upon new content. The people around her present at that time didn't really like it.

But she did.

And she was interested.

So, she searched for more, and without knowing, she started cherishing them so much.

It wasn't exactly anything like a cliché story where she falls in love. It was pure admiration and a lot of respect -- that only grew with time.

 

-

 

She remembers whining and pleading -for what felt like hours of pulling off all kinds of puppy eyes and pouts- to attend the concert. It was their first-ever concert. Then, she rushed to get the tickets that got sold out faster than anyone would imagine. They were a rookie group after all.

Summer Fairy Tales- Blue Square Samsung Card Hall, Seoul

Watching her favourite girl group perform with bright smiles on their face. 

Yes, she was very much delighted.

 

-

 

She was in her second year of middle school- when she finally mustered up the courage for going to auditions.

Watching the girls perform in that concert made her realize that she wanted to dance and sing on stage. Just like they did- so flawless that you can't help but watch in awe. She aspired to be like them. 

Dancing to 'Colouring Book' felt amazing even though she was nervous as it could change her entire life.

But she did well. When she got accepted as a trainee, her friends and parents looked so proud of her. It felt nice to make them pleased with something that made her just as much happy.

She decided to work hard to see that look on their face again and again. She would love it if she could make them gratified every time. 

 

-

 

 

Something about being the next girl of the month made her nervous and excited at the same time. 

Working hard every day and night. Trying to perfect every one of her moves and expressions.

Putting on a smile in front of the mirror, and blushing right after at the thought of becoming an idol- she was so lucky. 

Then came the day for her voice recordings. She could feel the adrenaline rushing through her entire being. 

She worked hard for the music video and photo shoots. Trying her best to follow the director's instructions. 

Her unnies were there to cheer for her too. And she thought that it couldn't be better.

 

-

 

Soon the last member was revealed. Son Hyejoo. 

This girl loved black and owned the colour. Her eyes looked intimidating but warm at the same time- sharp nose and beautiful triangular-shaped lips. They looked so soft and fluffy- just like her cheeks that would get a red tint when the attention was directed to her. 

Hyejoo was easily one of the best people she had ever met, and the girl was so talented that she started with her debut preparations as soon as she had joined. And she was so adorable that Chaewon just wanted to hold her face in her small hands and pepper kisses all over her face. She wanted to hold her hands and squeeze them gently with her own, drawing patterns over the palm and the back of her hand.

Maybe she adored her a bit too much, but she thinks that, it's fine because she earned it. Although she wouldn't admit it out loud -given Sooyoung and Jiwoo's protective nature and Yerim's sly smirk every time she got caught staring at Hyejoo- she did hope the girl would reciprocate her feelings affections.

 

-

 

It was finally the time to debut as a whole group. 

Pulling all-nighters and spending hours in the studio practising the same choreo over and over again. Their legs hurt and sleep was forgotten. Taking naps when it was too tiring and short visit to dorms just to shower and change clothes. Some of them would probably forget to eat even if it wasn't for their amazing Kahei and Haseul unnie. Reminding them to eat and take care of themselves even though they were just as nervous and tensed as the others. Sooyoung, Jinsoul and Hyejoo get the food for them while the others bring stuff from dorms and take care of other necessities.

All of them were hyped up and excited to finally debut- as one. And the day finally comes when their music video drops. 

20/08/18

Then comes the tiring promotions and rushing from one place to another. Members cramped up in vans and moving to the next destination according to their schedules. Some of them got the much-needed rest in vans because they were barely getting any time to sleep. But seeing the people who cheered for them in fan meets was worth it.

 

-

 

One after another, their songs get released. Their popularity grows and so does their fanbase. This time they prepare themselves for the upcoming comeback song, 'Why Not?'

She thinks it's fantastic. It's catchy and makes you want to repeat the song.

She says to herself that it's ok if she doesn't get lines. She won't be able to give the same vibes her members give off. Maybe the song won't be as much good if she gets more lines, so she is happy with getting dance breaks and visual parts in the music video.

Chaewon works hard for the shoot because the stylists and staff worked hard to bring the possible perfection in sets and other things.



Everyone is excited about the final results. Ready to watch the music video that drops today.

They keep watching the video. Complimenting each other for their parts.

Oh, wow. The editors cut off her parts.

And it's fine. Maybe she didn't do well enough to be in the shots. She can work harder next time.

I pretend I'm not hurt

She didn't dye her entire head blue just to get cut off but okay. At least, the girls look pretty in the music video.

I walk about the world like I'm having fun

 

-

 

Paint the town- the name sounds good itself.

Painting the town with their colours and voices. They said the song is composed differently this time. It's a fusion of two types of genres.

She looked forward to the song- and damn. This is what we call the good stuff.

Chaewon didn't get lines but that's fine. Maybe this song doesn't match her voice or vibes too. It's so cool after all.

She is happy to get the dance break and works harder than before so that her parts don't get cut off like last time.

Chaewon works hard for the shoot since the get-up is so pretty. Butterflies on her head and neck, a stunning dress. It makes her feel like a princess who is friends with nature. The stylists did such a great job. She appreciates the talent and effort they put behind this look.

Vivi got a gorgeous antler headset. She said that it's a bit heavy, but she would try to make this worth watching.

And she does. Just like Gowon. All the members diligently work for their parts, doing their best for the comeback.

She was excited to see how the final video turns out.



It's time for the music video to be released. They have been anticipating the video for weeks.

Jungeun looks gorgeous. Heejin and Sooyoung are so pretty.

They keep watching the video while Chaewon is low-key excited for her parts with the butterflies.

And oh. That part never comes because the editors cut off her parts with the pretty dress and butterflies.

“Thank you” a squeeze on her shoulder. It looked like gratitude, but Sooyoung was concerned for her. Nonetheless, she flashed a smile to her, indicating that she's fine.

Kahei didn't carry that heavy headset with such care and agility just to get one second of screen time.

No one warned them for the lack of their parts. No, it's nothing harmful.

They know that's how it works. Of course, all the parts they shot won't get added. But barely having seconds after shooting for hours?

The more I try, the more I lose

She gave a side hug to Vivi, who was staring at the screen, just like her.

Surely sad about her parts being excluded but not showing it. Getting a soft smile from her in return that screamed gratitude and sympathy.

The other members also hyped up when it was her part. And finally, her smile looked genuine.

I spent my life weighed down by a stone heart, drowning in irony and settling for anything

 

Going back to the dorm that night felt nice. At least, she didn't have to pretend like it was fine. Not that she expected much from what happened the last time. 

When the reaction filming ended, they went to eat. To celebrate the comeback, which proved to be successful in hyping up the fans. And to cheer up Chaewon and Kahei perhaps- since what they could see on the table was their favourites mostly. Along with the rice balls that Heejin and Yerim wanted.

They went to what could be their signature eating place. And even though it was their favourite, she didn't have the appetite.

Busy thinking if there's something wrong with her. She wonders if she's equivalent to a backup dancer now. Not that she's saying they are not good. They are- in fact, their dance crew members are so nice and humble. She couldn't ask for better companions.

She signed up to sing here, right? If her singing is not up to par, then she is eager to improve and work with her vocals. Shooting parts in visuals of the music video. Maybe she's not pretty enough to get visual parts in there? So, they can tell her that she's not good with it, and she will focus on the dancing only.

Cutting off her parts while editing the music video when it took so much time and effort to try and get the perfect shots each time. It's just pure waste, she thinks.

The comforting pat from Haseul, and Chuu who looked like she would cry, made her take the first bite. Alright, so it was tasty- might as well eat up.

 

After dinner, they got back in their vans. Ready to get some sleep in there before they reach dorms. Removing makeup, changing to comfortable clothes and flopping on the bed. 

Chaewon took the back seat with Sooyoung. The older girl was considerate enough to change seats with Hyejoo even though she was tired. Letting her yyxy maknaes get some rest as they sit beside each other. Holding hands, the younger one lets her unnie rest her head on her shoulder before they fall asleep.

I am tired, I am weary, I could sleep for a thousand years

The other members present in the van look back and smile at the adorable pair. They won't pretend to not know about their feelings when they look so good together. The sole problem here was that both of them were dense.

 

-

 

Apparently, Heejin and Hyunjin made a bet over it.

The conflict arises when Heejin confidently says that Chaewon would be the first one to confess. Hyunjin strongly disagreeing with the comment-

“Hyejoo will say it first”

“And what makes you so sure about it?”

That's how it started. Before it turned into a serious argument, Yeojin suggested they bet on it. Jinsoul supported the idea with a cute nod and a smile on her face.

 

“Sooyoung unnie ran away with my ice cream because she wanted it. Unnie, don't you think that it's unfair?” Hyejoo suddenly says with a small frown on her face.

All Chaewon could think of was how artistic Hyejoo looked at the moment. The moonlight reflected on her face, her big hands bringing the coffee mug up to her pretty plump lips to take a sip of it.

As if she realized that she was being watched, she looked at her, and Chaewon could see the girl's face heating up, the exposed right ear turning red.

Chaewon thinks she's so adorable that she could just kiss those delicate pair of lips and stare at her forever. She thinks she could get lost anywhere if she's looking into her eyes. And maybe it is fine if she does lose her directions if that would mean that she gets to spend time with her. Still very much indulged in her thoughts, Chaewon doesn't realize when she's moving forward. She can see the girl looking at her in a worried manner, and she doesn't know why, but she just leans in and plants her lips on hers.

She kisses her.

Wait-

Chaewon's eyes shoot open. 

Just when did I close my eyes? Fudge-

She can see the girl in front of her looking wide-eyed, and she thinks,

Oh God- I just messed up, didn't I?

Damn you and your pretty lips Hyejoo. Wait no-

What the hell is wrong with you Chaewon? Are you seriously blaming her right now when it's your fault that-

“Chaewon unnie”

She blinks as she looks up at her.

Hyejoo is looking less surprised now and there was something in the way she looked at Chaewon that made her want to jump from the balcony. She thinks it could possibly save her from the embarrassment right now, but it would hurt, and she's going to end up in hospital bed with that bland food for God knows how many days, and she would hate that. She wants her favourite ramen from the shop down the street instead. And it might be odd that-

“Park Chaewon”

Oh.

She is just making this more complicated, and God, Hyejoo is totally going to hate her now because-

“Chaewon.”

Okay, not again. The last thing she wanted was to make the girl angry. But Hyejoo looks kind of annoyed and worried.

“Yes?”

“Why did you do that?”

“I- you looked worried I don't know why, but I wanted to make you happy and not worry about things so, I thought a kiss might help?”

“What-” Hyejoo holds in her laughter and looks at her in disbelief.

“-and I know it doesn't make any sense, but you just looked so attractive and lovable. I mean- you always do look attractive it's not just now but like”

Hyejoo puts her hand on her shoulder. Looking at her with that soft smile which makes her insides go crazy for whatever reason, and she doesn't know if she loves the feeling or hates it, but she decides that it's okay because it's-

Chaewon feels gentle pokes on her back. She looks up again and she thinks,

Just how can be someone this beautiful? It's not fair

“You were rambling. And you're spacing out a lot. What happened?”

Chaewon just stares at her. She keeps looking at her as if blinking would result in punishments.

Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon

“Nothing really”

“Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Chaewon sighs, but her lips are curving into a small smile at the care.

“It's just- I don't know why my parts are getting excluded. I want to improve and do better. But they are just cutting off my parts for the music video, and I know I should be happy for you guys. Trust me- I am happy! I just can't help but feel sad. I feel like I need to do more for my parts to be added, and I just want to make you guys proud of me, but I can't seem to make it work”

Hyejoo doesn't say anything. She listens to her rant, and when she thinks it's over, she wraps her arms around the shorter girl.

The sudden hug surprises her, but she returns the affection anyways.

She thinks that it makes up for everything that's going downhill. She wants to stay like this forever. It's so peaceful, being in her arms.

It's different.

It's nice.

And she loves the feeling.

Chaewon nuzzles her head closer to her neck, inhaling her white musky scent. She loves her so much.

“You are amazing at what you do. There's nothing you can improve here. You're already good enough, and it's their fault. The unnies and I will make sure you get your deserved parts. They must realize what they are missing out here”

She hears her say the words. Holding her in her embrace and softly speaking. Her voice was just above a whisper. Maybe the reason why she can hear it is their distance, which is non-existent.

She loves being so close to her. It makes her feel loved.

“I'm so proud of you for always doing your best. So, I hope you're not questioning your abilities anymore. Are you?” she lightly shakes her head as an answer.

And she's about to groan from the lack of warmth when Hyejoo pulls away a bit, but she stops when she sees that smile. It's not rare to see her smile, but it is so precious. She wants to be the reason behind her smile.

Sunshine she's here, you can take a break

“I'm glad to know that because I would hate it if you did” Chaewon chuckles at her words.

She is the reason behind her smile. And right now, this is all that matters to her.

Hyejoo holds her like she's the only one in the whole world. Telling her that she loves her. And that light kiss on her temple- she can tell that Hyejoo is smiling from the way her lips are curved against her skin.

“I love you so much” Chaewon doesn't notice the slip of her tongue. She just smiles when Hyejoo squeezes her lightly.

“I love you too. All of us do, but I think I just love you a bit more than the others” she gasps- realizing that she just said it out loud. But when her brain registers Hyejoo's words, she can't stop the wide smile that adorns her face.

“Why are you so cute?” The taller girl just laughs at it.

She hums, pretending to think, then says, “You tell me. Why are you so lovely?”

Chaewon can't hide the blush that creeps up her face. She just leans forward again. Looking into her eyes this time. Standing up on tip-toes. She sees Hyejoo lowering her head for her. She lets out a breathy laugh.

“Maybe because you're this sweet? Leaning down for me and all”

“I guess that makes sense” Her triangular-shaped lips turn upwards in a smile before she closes her eyes and kisses her.

Give me all you got, don't hold back

Really, this is all she wants. Hyejoo is in her arms, holding her tight and kissing her. The stars are watching them, but she thinks that it's fine.

Jiwoo unnie did tell her that the stars shipped her and Sooyoung. She doesn't know where she got that idea from, but the look on Jungeun unnie's face told her that it was pure BS. Even though- the girl did not have the heart to tell her friend that. So, Chaewon hopes that the stars don't mind shipping her with Hyejoo too.

After all, she is happy with Hyejoo. The stars would love that, right?

So, she allows herself to melt into the kiss, pouring out her love and affection for the girl in it. She wants her to feel just how much she's in love with her, and she thinks that she's doing it right because she can feel her girl smiling. 

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always