Seulgi isn't touchy.

 

Seulgi doesn't like it when her friends hold her hands or link their arms with her. She doesn't like hugs and handshakes and taps to her shoulders to call her attention.

 

When Seungwan slides next to her on the bench, their shoulders press together and Seulgi hopes that the awkward shift in her seat goes unnoticed as she makes more space between them.

 

When Sooyoung puts her arm around Seulgi's shoulders, she shrugs just the slightest. But it doesn't deter her friend from leaning against her as they walk down the hallway, making plans to go to the arcade after class.

 

When Yerim pokes Seulgi's cheeks in an act of pure defiance of their supposed senior-junior relationship, Seulgi bites back her complaints about the lack of respect only because Yerim would endlessly about being a stuck-up oldie.

 

It doesn't really mean anything to them. It's normal. Friends do these sorts of things. They don't really know that Seulgi would rather have a bubble around her just to prevent her friends from getting under her skin (or on her skin, in this case).

 

But there's one friend within their circle who seems to respect Seulgi's silent yet incessant request to be physically distant from the rest. Joohyun has never initiated any sort of physical affection towards Seulgi, never holds her hand, never brings her in for a hug.

 

It's quite strange.

 

Now that Seulgi thinks about it.

 

She looks at Joohyun braiding Yerim's hair. Her delicate hands maneuver through the dark brown locks as Yerim complains about her near failing mark in her Biology exam and Joohyun can only encourage her to study harder.

 

When Sooyoung comes crying to Joohyun about her crush rejecting her confession, Joohyun hugs her much taller frame and pats her back gently while telling her how she doesn't need a boy to feel complete and happy and that she's fine as she is (which only makes Sooyoung cry harder).

 

On the weekend, they're shopping for their trip to the beach on the first weekend of summer break and Joohyun has her hand tightly knotted with Seungwan's as they parade down the mall. They giggle and chat and swing their arms in their leisurely gait.

 

It's quite strange, Seulgi realizes as Yerim nudges her on the side to get her to buy her ice cream and as Sooyoung pulls her by the hand to look at the swimsuits which were much too revealing for Seulgi's liking.

 

"Joohyun," Seulgi calls Joohyun as they line up for burgers at the foodcourt after having bought all the beach trip necessities. The other three are sitting down waiting for the eldest two gathering their food. Joohyun hums to acknowledge Seulgi's call as she looks through the menu, her eyes scanning the illuminated plastic board above the cashier. There are two people in front of them so the waiting time gives Seulgi an opportunity to think.

 

Joohyun turns to Seulgi with an eyebrow raised when Seulgi's prolonged silence bothers her enough.

 

It's another thing Seulgi has never been quite fond of. Eye contact. And it's something Joohyun is very good at. So much so that Seulgi has to look away from her drilling gaze. It has always tied knots in Seulgi's stomach when Joohyun's piercing eyes bore into her own even for just a second, even for the most mundane of reasons. Such as now. When she's just waiting for Seulgi to continue her question.

 

"What are you ordering?" Seulgi says instead, squinting her eyes at the menu board.

 

-

 

The family van is quite spacious. More than enough for the five of them. But Sooyoung decides Seulgi's shoulder is the best place to doze off. Joohyun looks over her shoulder when they reach a stoplight and smiles at Seulgi's distraught state as she tries to stop Sooyoung from drooling all over her. Seulgi looks back at Joohyun, her eyes crinkling at the sight before facing the road once more.

 

"Joohyun-ah," Seulgi says as the radio turns to commercial breaks, "Let me drive on the way home."

 

It was more of a plea than a kind gesture.

 

Joohyun chuckles, "Sure, Seulgi."

 

-

 

A day at the beach is exactly how they imagined it to be. The sun is perfectly warm and bright. The sea sparkles like daylight stars.

 

Someone had suggested a game of beach volleyball. They decided that the two tallest members of their little friend group should be on opposing teams. And since Sooyoung is well over two inches taller than Seulgi, she should only have one other person on her team. Yerim is quick to join her. And so it becomes the Seniors versus the Juniors. Well, more like Sooyoung versus Joohyun, Seulgi and Seungwan. It's unsurprising that Sooyoung obliterates all of them, nearly taking out Joohyun's head in the process. Yerim only laughs at Seulgi as she jumps out of the way, face planting into the sand when Sooyoung dutifully lands a powerful spike towards her.

 

Seungwan helps her up despite Seulgi's insistence of being perfectly fine with sand all over her face. Joohyun crouches in front of her, not at all giving any assistance to Seungwan as she tries to pull Seulgi up by her arm.

 

"Are you okay?" Joohyun says softly, almost inaudible as Sooyoung and Yerim guffaw on the other side of the court. Her hand reaches out to brush away the hair and sand in Seulgi's face but she retracts it before getting too close.

 

"Yeah," Seulgi manages a smile, blinking away the sand in her eyes and in a breath to keep the invisible clutch on her chest in its place.

 

-

 

Apparently, Joohyun hates the sea. Or the water. Or anything other than dry land.

 

So, when everyone except Joohyun goes into the water, Seulgi notices and looks back at her on the shore, sitting quietly by herself, hugging her knees and digging her toes into the sand. Fully equipped with a white rash guard and swim shorts, Joohyun looks about ready to go engage in some water sports but instead she smiles at Seulgi and waves at her from a distance. Seulgi stands there, with the water leveled to her hip, staring back at her friend. It's automatic. Her legs will themselves to walk back as the other three move to deeper waters, playing with their innertubes and Yerim trying to convince them she was a champion swimmer in grade school. When she finally reaches Joohyun with seaweed stuck between her toes, she looks up at Seulgi, the seawater dripping from her bare legs, her swim short clinging to her skin but her blue rash guard still dry.

 

"I'm fine," Joohyun says even though Seulgi didn't ask.

 

"The water's fine too," Seulgi says even though Joohyun didn't ask.

 

Her fingers tap playfully on her knees. Looking down at them, Joohyun mutters something to herself. A quiet request.

 

Seulgi kneels down so that she's at eye level with Joohyun. There's an itch in her hands. Seulgi doesn't quite understand it and she definitely can't explain it. But when Joohyun looks up at her imploringly, with her wide doe eyes and expectant gaze, Seulgi decides she doesn't need to understand it at all.

 

"Can you hold my hand when we go into the water?"

 

Her hand is soft, Seulgi notes. So soft and warm and small. Joohyun's grip is light, barely there until they reach the edge, as the waves begin to hit their feet and they pause for a moment. Her grip gets tighter.

 

Seulgi looks at Joohyun, her eyes staring off into the warm blue distance. She swallows hard before returning to Seulgi's gaze.

 

"I'm right here, Joohyun-ah," Seulgi smiles before taking a step into the cool water.

 

Seulgi, however, did not consider just how cowardly Joohyun was. Nope. Despite Joohyun being the dependable and reliable student council president and a top contender for their class's valedictory rank, she was a run-of-the-mill hydrophobe. It's funny, Seulgi thinks. One would not have thought that Joohyun was scared of anything. But here she is, clutching on to Seulgi's entire arm now, fingers digging deep into her. And the water has only touched their knees.

 

A school of the tiniest fish Seulgi has ever seen swims between their legs and she points it out to Joohyun if only to distract her. It does the exact opposite and she starts releasing high pitched squeals, pulling Seulgi closer to herself, her whole body pressed against her now. And all Seulgi can do is smile at her and ignore the burning warmth looming in her chest.

 

"Why are you smiling at my suffering?" Joohyun groans as she takes little steps forward, keeping with Seulgi's slowed pace.

 

"I'm not," her smile does not falter, "In my defense, I'm not smiling at your suffering. I'm smiling because I'm happy I got you this far."

 

The water is at their hips now without Joohyun even realizing it. They're at the point Seulgi was when she looked back at Joohyun. She turns her head back to shore and back to Seulgi's bright smile.

 

"How do I get back?" Joohyun looks like she wants to cry.

 

"I'm right here, Joohyun-ah," Seulgi repeats, placing her hand on top of Joohyun's pale knuckles clawing into Seulgi's arm, "I'll make sure you get back to shore in one piece."

 

"Kang Seulgi, you better not leave me out here!"

 

"Never."

 

-

 

It was "never" until Sooyoung with her athletically strong arms pulled Joohyun away from Seulgi.

 

But Joohyun has this kind of character, Seulgi has always known, that doesn't let people know her true thoughts. Right now, Joohyun looks like she's having a blast with the girls. But Seulgi knows her knees are shaking and the only thing keeping her from sinking is the inner tube she's been holding onto for dear life.

 

She's in the middle of the inflatable, arms strained from trying to keep herself upright. Yerim thinks it's a good idea to play "bumper cars" with Joohyun. And, of course, Sooyoung decides to push Yerim, in her own inflatable, towards Joohyun and Seungwan, also in their own inflatables. Helpless. Joohyun is helpless to their shenanigans. Seungwan laughs it off as she kicks her way back to them without much trouble. Joohyun, on the other hand, has been taken away by the small wave and has begun drifting off and away from the group. She's not screaming for help yet, just nervously laughing while Seungwan gestures for her to come back to them.

 

Seulgi knows that Joohyun's feet no longer touch the sand beneath them, no longer in control of herself and her surroundings. She must be terrified behind that shining smile. So, she swims her way to Joohyun. Seulgi isn't as good of a swimmer as Yerim claims herself to be. But she's good enough not to drown in this part of the sea. She reaches Joohyun in no time, holding on to the inflatable, floating, face to face with her friend.

 

"You said you wouldn't leave me!"

 

It's so rare to see her whine like this and it only makes Seulgi chuckle.

 

"Don't laugh! I was terrified!"

 

"I'm sorry," Seulgi says, placing her hand atop Joohyun's, clearly tired from gripping on the slippery plastic, "I'll get you back to them."

 

"Take me back to stable land, please," she begs with teary eyes.

 

"But we just started! Our fingers aren't even raisins yet."

 

She pouts, looking at Seulgi like a petulant child.

 

"Joohyun-ah," Seulgi takes her hand that reluctantly releases itself from her only safety net, "It'll be fun. I won't let you drift away again."

 

It takes a moment but Joohyun sighs.

 

"Fine, let Sooyoung drown me."

 

The surrender comes with a chuckle as Seulgi latches on to the inflatable, just behind Joohyun as she pushes her towards the group, kicking her feet to gain momentum amidst the waves.

 

They regroup and Yerim convinces them that they should race to the buoy floating a few feet away. Another unfair competition between the Juniors and Seniors. Seungwan sits this one out, even as Joohyun gladly offers to be the referee. With Yerim and Joohyun in their respective inner tubes and Seulgi and Sooyoung (un)willingly behind them as their personal motors, they remain stationary until Seungwan gives them the go signal. Yerim and Sooyoung eye their friends with that psychopathic, competitive glint in their eyes.

 

While Joohyun has a mean competitive streak in her bones, the water seems to have turned those bones to weak jelly.

 

"We're gonna win, Joohyun, I'll make sure of it," Seulgi says loud enough for the competition to hear.

 

Sooyoung snorts, "Swimming is my first name, Kang Seulgi!"

 

They all rolled their eyes at her horribly corny joke and before she gets to laugh at it, Seungwan yells a resounding "go"!

 

While Sooyoung has long and strong legs, perfect for kicking them further in the water towards the buoy, Seulgi has more stamina, maintaining her speed and energy throughout the track. Seawater gets into her eyes and mouth and nose but she's too happy to care when she hears Joohyun laughing at their increasing gap, clearly in disbelief that Sooyoung and Yerim were biting their dust (or water in this case).

 

"No fair! Joohyun unnie is shorter and lighter than Yerim!"

 

"Hey!" the two girls yell out.

 

Seungwan breaks the rumble with her hand, slicing the water between them.

 

"Joohyun and Seulgi are the winners! A round of applause!"

 

"We didn't get this crowd reaction from the volleyball game," Sooyoung claps her hands in compliance but Joohyun, brave Joohyun, kicks water into Sooyoung and Yerim's faces, earning her barrage of waves and splashes.

 

She's laughing and having a good time and Seulgi swears that Joohyun's shoulders have started to relax.

 

When they decide to just lie and float about in the water, Joohyun turns to face Seulgi, who has been pushing her around the water since they won their little contest.

 

"You can go lie down, you must be tired."

 

Seulgi shakes her head although it was true. But she doesn't mind.

 

Joohyun hums. She turns around fully this time, her whole body facing Seulgi now, only the inner tube separating them.

 

"Can you teach me how to swim?"

 

Seulgi raises her brows, "Really?"

 

"Okay, it's gonna take a few sessions, I know," Joohyun laughs at her own over-confidence, "Teach me how to float at least."

 

Seulgi contemplates, chancing a glance into Joohyun's unmoving eyes, clearly serious about her request. It seems fun and maybe Joohyun will get a life lesson out of this but Seulgi doesn't exactly know how to teach something she's not a master of. She moves away from Joohyun, a few away and gestures for her to come closer.

 

"Kick your feet under the water, like you're walking on the ground," she says, "like you're pushing yourself away from the water."

 

Joohyun gulps as a small wave hits them. She nods and starts kicking, barely moving a foot towards Seulgi and it's quite adorable how hard she tries and how little progress she makes. But no matter the distance, she still manages to move closer. Seulgi moves forward a bit if only to make the travel shorter for Joohyun.

 

"That was great!"

 

A splash of water to her face and a disgruntled Joohyun complaining about how Seulgi "cheated" by "helping" her. She only laughs and holds on to Joohyun's inflatable.

 

"Okay, okay," Seulgi chuckles, "How about you let go of this floatie?"

 

"Wait! That's too advanced!" Joohyun scrambles, holding onto the plastic tighter. She might pierce her nails into the material, "What about breathing exercises?"

 

"That's for kids! I know you can breathe, Joohyun!"

 

She shakes her head vigorously.

 

Seulgi looks at her one more time with a strong, determined look on her own face. She in a big breath and dives down. The last image she saw on Joohyun's face was a mild (or wild) panic. She opens her eyes underwater, the seawater clear enough for her to see the ground beneath them and the seaweed and fish further down.

 

It takes her by surprise when she finds Joohyun in the water with her, fingers pinching her nose. As expected, she sinks easily. She doesn't even open her eyes and Seulgi has to grab hold of her. Hands gripping on her arms. They're stiff and rigid and she's heavier than Seulgi expected as she pulls her back up towards the surface. Before they reach the top, Joohyun opens her eyes and looks at Seulgi. Only Seulgi. The only thing that makes sense to her in the mysterious, treacherous blue waters. Bubbles blow out of her nose and Seulgi smiles, pulling Joohyun closer to herself, their bodies pressed together as they sink down deeper into the cold water. Joohyun loosens herself, still holding onto Seulgi, wrapping her arms around her waist pressing her cheek against Seulgi's shoulder. Lighter.

 

They make it up to the surface (by Seulgi's strength) before they both run out of air. Joohyun willfully slaps Seulgi's arm for scaring her. She goes on a whole speech about one of her many great fears involving losing people (or herself) in the water. Wiping away the stray hair that clung to Joohyun's face, Seulgi giggles and Joohyun all but feels offended that she's not listening.

 

"Look at you, floating and all."

 

Clearly, Joohyun has not been paying attention to the lack of a life vest, inflatable or Seulgi's arms keeping her afloat on the weak currents of the sea. She blushes an adoring red and pouts, pushing herself towards Seulgi, clinging onto her shoulders in a life-sustaining hug.

 

"I hate you."

 

-

 

Dinner is served by Joohyun and Seungwan.

 

The other three had bought the meat and vegetables from a nearby market while the more kitchen-competent members of their group started the fire (safely).

 

The sun set beautifully in the seaside, hues of orange and purple and the amber lights by their little cottage of sorts made everything so picture perfect. The smell of grilled meat makes them hungrier after a fun-filled and exhausting day.

 

Joohyun makes sure everyone gets a decent serving before she starts her own meal. There were only a few freshly caught scallops from the market. Joohyun only took one for herself, which Seulgi takes note of. When Sooyoung starts a whole dramatic story about a boy who had tried to court her since grade school, Seulgi passes her own piece of scallop to Joohyun. She raises her brow at the unexpected gesture. Seulgi doesn't give her a chance to reject the offer and pulls her paper plate away from Joohyun but she doesn't miss the quiet smile on her friend's face.

 

-

 

Seulgi's glad she's driving this time, not just because she doesn't have to deal with Sooyoung's drool or Seungwan's snores or Yerim's sleep talking, but because she gets to sit next to Joohyun on the front seat.

 

Joohyun lowers the volume on the radio after she turns to look at the three girls sleeping in the back.

 

"Did you have fun today?"

 

"Of course," Seulgi says matter-of-factly.

 

"I was clinging to you the whole day," Joohyun looks away this time, somewhat ashamed.

 

"No, you weren't," Seulgi laughs quietly so as not to stir the sleeping girls, "I mean, my arms definitely feel like falling off but I don't mind."

 

Joohyun raises her hand up in a readying position to playfully slap Seulgi's arm before retracting it. She's driving. They don't need to get into an accident.

 

"But you don't like that," Joohyun sighs

 

"What?"

 

"You don't like it when people cling to you," Joohyun shrugs.

 

"I don't not like it," Seulgi rolls her eyes, chuckling nervously that Joohyun apparently knows.

 

It explains so much now. Whenever Joohyun stays a bit farther away from Seulgi when they’re in line for the movies. Whenever Yerim tries to annoy Seulgi by poking her side and Joohyun pulls Yerim away to hug her instead. Whenever Seungwan leans against Seulgi after a long school day and Joohyun pulls them both towards the food cart outside campus. Whenever Sooyoung insists that they hold hands when going anywhere and Joohyun grabs hold of Sooyoung’s hand instead if only to placate her.

 

They reach a stoplight.

 

"I didn't think you noticed," Seulgi scratches her head shyly, still avoiding Joohyun's eyes.

 

"Please, you get so weird whenever I so much as pass by the air you breathe," Joohyun laughs, "And you hate it when Sooyoung gives you one of her big bear hugs."

 

"I don't mind," Seulgi rolls her eyes, "I just would like a bit of a warning but she doesn't really care."

 

Their quiet laughs fill the front of the van. Sooyoung groans as if she heard them talking about her and they only laugh more till the light turns green.

 

-

 

The last stop before Joohyun goes back to her own home is Seulgi's house.

 

After an intense argument about how Seulgi could just drive Joohyun home and she could walk back to her own house, they park outside Seulgi's house (clearly Joohyun had won the argument because it made most sense to just let her drive herself home).

 

"Can we stay here a while?"

 

Joohyun requests when Seulgi is about to open the door. They're in the driveway and Seulgi's sure no one's going to go out anymore so she stays, unbuckling her seatbelt.

 

"I had fun," Joohyun admits sincerely with her eyes closed and a fully content smile etched on her face, "Thank you for teaching me how to float."

 

"Thank you for not drowning me," Seulgi jokes, preparing herself for a real, playful slap to her arm. Instead she gets a gentle hold on her arm, not an unwelcome one. She looks down at the hand on her arm. Soft, warm, small. Her eyes follow the length of her arm, up to her shoulders, to Joohyun's impossibly beautiful face, framed by her dark and slightly damp hair.

 

"Thank you," she tugs at Seulgi's arm. Seulgi gulps, eyes shaking as she looks into Joohyun's perfectly bright gaze, dancing in the flickering light of the broken street lamp across them. Joohyun leans closer, lips brushing the shell of Seulgi's ear. It tickles but she doesn't shy away. She shudders but for reasons other than her annoyance or dislike for the physical human touch, "Thank you for letting me cling to you today."

 

Seulgi nods. Unmoving.

 

"Thank you," Joohyun continues, "for holding me even when you don't want to," her other hand reaches for Seulgi's face, cupping her cheek in a warmth she has never known.

 

"I don't not want to," Seulgi croaks, trying to joke but Joohyun looks absolutely serious when she pulls her face away so she can look into the crescent moons of Seulgi's eyes.

 

"I'm serious."

 

"I know."

 

Joohyun looks down for a split second.

 

"I don't want to push my luck," Joohyun mumbles, "or test your limits."

 

Seulgi has been holding her breath longer than she realizes. When she remembers to inhale, she puts her own hand on top of Joohyun's, to the other's complete surprise.

 

"Go ahead."

 

Joohyun smiles softly, leaning in. Seulgi gulps. She can almost hear it outside of her own ears. She closes her eyes and parts her lips just the slightest bit, awaiting Joohyun's own soft lips.

 

Maybe she never expected the day to end like this, to know that Joohyun has always noticed her strange mannerisms and has always respected her space. And maybe that's the nicest thing anyone has done for her and maybe now… now is the time to let go of those inhibitions. If only for Joohyun.

 

Warm lips press against her cheek instead. The sensation sends a wave of electricity under her skin, into her bones, awakening a feeling she never knew was possible that makes her eyes shoot open in a frantic grapple for reality because the warmth felt too good, too sweet that it only seemed to exist in imagination.

 

Joohyun giggles, cheeks in a wild blush.

 

"I don't think you're quite ready for a kiss on the lips," she pats Seulgi's reddened cheeks.

 

Seulgi shakes her head a bit to break her reverie.

 

"Wait, no, I'm ready!"

 

This makes Joohyun laugh out too loudly. She might wake the elderly neighbors next door.

 

"Seulgi," she mutters, her smile wide on her lips.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I'm quite clingy."

 

"I know, I've noticed," Seulgi admits too honestly, too willingly. It's a bit embarrassing to say it out loud that she has been taking note of Joohyun's apparent clinginess with the others. And maybe Joohyun is just as embarrassed at how apparently clingy she actually is, "I mean-- you… I'm just attentive."

 

"Of course," Joohyun chuckles, rubbing her thumb along Seulgi's soft, pillowy cheek, "Maybe you'll find it's not so bad."

 

Seulgi ponders, feeling the comfort emanating from Joohyun's hand, from her gaze, from their mingled breaths. Maybe it isn't so bad.

 

"If it's just you, I don't think it is.