When Johnny received his manito, there was an ominous feeling that he felt like this was something he shouldn’t receive. When he took the note and opened it, he wanted to cry but the camera was filming, he needed to stay neutral.

 

He read the words aloud and the name that felt so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. Each character carved into his brain; each embedded with the weight of the emotions they conveyed.

 

“You okay hyung?” Doyoung spoke next to Johnny, the cameras now focusing on the other members.

 

“No, I don’t think I am.” Johnny said and Doyoung understood then patted his back.

 

“Looks like fate is pulling the strings hyung, this is exactly like 2018.” Doyoung said and Johnny sighed heavily.

 

“This is not 2018. I wish I could stay in 2018.” Johnny frowned and Doyoung sighed next to him.

 

“It’s not too late, you have his number.” Doyoung reminded the older before leaving him to ponder on the words written on the small piece of paper to those spoken by Doyoung.

 

He took out his phone and searched for a number, something that he had never really forgotten, each number ingrained in his mind and he can recite in an instant. His thumb hovered over the call button, he hesitated for a few minutes before he took a deep breath then took the dive.

 

The ringing wracked through johnny’s body, it was making him feel like he was being in a wormhole, fearing for the unknown, until the voice pulled him out and gave him the light

 

“Hello? Johnny Hyung?” Johnny smiled, a genuine smile.

 

“Hi Kun.” Johnny’s voice turned out soft like a whisper and he could hear the chuckle from the other side.

 

“let me guess, you got the manito?” Kun asked from the line and Johnny nodded.

 

‘Yeah, thank you so much.” Johnny replied then silence.

 

Silence

 

Deafening silence.

 

“It’s not about the manito right?” Kun asked and Johnny still wonders how Kun knows him too well, maybe he had not forgotten Johnny.

 

Romantically.

 

Johnny wanted that back.

 

Kun as his boyfriend, wrapped in his arms on a cold night and counting the blessing they both have, ending with the one that truly mattered, each other.

 

 

“It’s not. It’s you.” Johnny had been like this, cheesy, but it made Kun smile, and Johnyn could see in hi mind the blush that may have been forming on Kun’s cheeks as he flusters on compliments Johnny throws at him.

 

 

“hyung.” Kun was almost breathless and Johnny knows that this is how Kun is when he’s thinking deeply, eyebrows scrunched and lips pouting, and if given the chances, this is when Johnny would lean in to kiss the pout away. “You’re always welcome.” Kun replied and Johnny smiled.

 

 

It can mean a lot, Kun’s words were never direct when it comes to him, there’s always two or three meanings but this one, Johnny’s sure of one thing.

 

 

“I’ll bring the wine.” Johnny replied and he heard a laugh.

 

 

“meet you there.” Kun replied then said his goodbye.

 

 

There was never a goodbye, there was just a break.

 

They were never going to happen but fate insisted that they are perfect for each other.

 

It started when they met back in 2015, though it wasn’t something they both entertained since they are focusing on their debut, fate had intertwined their lives in more ways that they could imagine.

 

From coffee to piano, to photography and Hobbies, Johnny and Kun were meant to be like puzzle pieces, each completing the other.

 

 

Though circumstances made them drift, pull and push, Fate will always be working the strings that connected Johnny and Kun, it will always be them.

 

Johnny took the note and looked at the words that weighed so much, and idea had struck him, he’ll always have a piece of Kun with him, in his words and his sentiments.

 

And if he showed Kun the new tattoo of gu ren gui in pinyin and in Kun’s penmanship marking Johnny’s skin, Kun had cried his eyes out and hugged him tightly, placing kisses on the marked skin of the older