Things usually happen when you least expect them to, so when Chaewon walked in at the exact moment of the chorus, Yujin felt gutted. It was worse than having a knife stuck to her belly, worse than being shot on the chest with a shotgun.

It wasn’t even the most relevant song at the moment (there was definitely no ‘him’, only a lot of ‘thinking of you’), but the notes were too well placed and the words made too much sense that Yujin hated it—hated how she felt so helplessly smitten, hated how she couldn’t do anything about it other than to stare at her from where she was, with an almost empty beer bottle in her sweating hand, and a very sappy love song in her ears.

She stared at Chaewon, stared really hard until she realized she didn’t want to be there anymore, lifting her shoe-clad feet off the small coffee table before deciding to just get out of the cramped bar that looked more like a college frathouse.

With her hands shoved deep inside her pockets, Yujin stood up, only to find herself face to face with Chaewon.

“Hi,” the girl greeted, smiling that infectious smile that Yujin hated.

“Hey,” Yujin greeted back as she drew her jacket tighter against her body, sidestepping as Chaewon took her place in front on the sofa where she sat.

She was about to leave when she noticed how Chaewon’s smile had turned into an obvious frown, with her eyebrows drawn together and lips pursed into a slight pout.

“Wait, you’re leaving already?” Chaewon asked, displeasure resounding in her voice.

Yujin made sure there was ample distance between them before she looked back, nodding, smiling lopsidedly as she shifted her weight on the balls of her feet as if itching to take another step.

“Yeah, I have class tomorrow,” she said, stepping away.

She knew what disappointment looked like, but she couldn’t understand why she saw that on Chaewon’s face. There was no reason for her to be disappointed, unless she saw through her lie because there was no class tomorrow, but even then she didn’t have the right to.

They’re not even friends.

She could only smile at the adorable frown before taking another step back, nodding one last time to signal her departure.

“I’ll see you around, Chaewon,” she said, turning around and walking away.

Yujin stepped off into the night and made her way home, chuckling mirthlessly to herself.

—–

The world had been wrong, Yujin realized. The awkwardness brought about by a one sided confession was a lie, because there was nothing awkward about not feeling the same way, only blunt and painful honesty. And that was what Chaewon had, the girl who could stand anywhere in a room and still be the center of it.

It would have been more complicated if Chaewon felt the same way, because then they’d find themselves in a tangled mess of infinite questions. Are we going to start dating? When? Do we even have anything in common? Is this even gonna work? Questions like that and more.

So when Chaewon rejected her, Yujin felt unusually relieved. Yes, she liked her, and yes it would have been nice to be with her, but that was clearly not going to happen and now they’re nothing but acquaintances.

They weren’t really friends, only knew each other through people who knew other people, but that didn’t stop the attraction, and it didn’t stop Yujin from confessing either.

It wasn’t even a grand thing, just a simple ‘I think I like you’ over a couple of drinks with a ‘Thank you, but let’s just be friends’ as a response.

That was about half a year ago, and it was funny because as the feeling grew tenfold, the need for reciprocation dropped down to an almost ‘I don’t care anymore’. Yet whenever Yujin saw Chaewon in campus, or in the college bar, or just anywhere, she always found herself eating her words.

Just like now.

Yujin stopped on her tracks when she saw Chaewon alone in the halls, struggling to open her locker, looking like she just ran a marathon. Even from where she was she could see the sweat sliding down her nape, her slightly soaked shirt and her damped hair that was pulled up in a messy bun.

It didn’t make sense to see Chaewon so late inside the campus building, and for a moment Yujin just wanted to leave her alone. But when Chaewon groaned and whined in frustration, all thoughts of escaping flew out of her mind.

Sighing, Yujin walked away from the wall she was hiding behind and approached the girl who looked like she was about to cry.

“Hey,” she greeted, chuckled when Chaewon cursed out loud.

“Jesus, Yujin, you scared me!” The girl hissed, hand clutching her chest. Now that she was near, Yujin could see the flushed cheeks and the almost bare face. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from staring.

“What are you still doing here? It’s late.” Chaewon asked, facing her fully as she leaned on the locker next to hers.

“I’m a student assistant at the library,” Yujin answered. “You?”

The girl suddenly groaned.

“We’re preparing for tomorrow’s benefit concert so I had to stay behind. And now my locker won’t open and my clothes are in there and I just wanted to change first before I go home but as you can see…”

Yujin looked at the locker before turning back to Chaewon.

“Can I try?” She asked, pointing at the locker door.

Chaewon nodded, stepping aside for a bit to give her some room. Yujin asked for her locker combination after promising that she’ll never spread it or use it for her own personal gain.

A few turns and a few clicks later, the door stayed shut. She gave it a few slaps and nudges but it just won’t open. Chaewon sighed beside her and pouted. “It’s okay, Yujin,” she said, “I’ll just have it opened tomorrow. Thanks for trying.”

Yujin looked at her, turned back to the locker before pointing, “I could try and kick it if you want.”

Chaewon laughed then, and it reminded Yujin why she had been evading the girl. That adorable, soundless laugh would do nothing to her unrequited feelings.

“Don’t, you might hurt yourself,” the girl said after recovering. “It’s okay, I guess I’ll just go home smelling like a dumpster.”

Yujin frowned. “No, you don’t,” she said. “I won’t be here if you did.”

Chaewon bit her lips and smiled shyly, and Yujin froze. She could almost feel her ‘I don’t care anymore’ turning to ‘I think I’m starting to’.

“I know that’s supposed to make me feel better but now I’m just conscious,” Chaewon said as she tucked her hair behind her ear, eyes disappearing when she grinned.

Yujin could only chuckle. “Let’s go, the building’s closing soon.”

When they started walking away from the lockers, Yujin made sure that Chaewon was at least three feet ahead of her. The other girl didn’t seem to mind that they weren’t walking beside each other—in fact, she looked so distracted, she didn’t realize she was walking a full two meters ahead.

They reached the gates and Chaewon stopped abruptly, and Yujin thought, as she watched her circle around in slow motion, that if she didn’t stay far behind enough, then she would have bumped into her.

Thank god, she thought again. She wouldn’t be able to handle the proximity.

She watched as Chaewon opened before closing it again, looking like she was fighting some internal battle. Yujin waited.

“Look,” the other girl finally said after a while. “We’re still a little shorthanded for tomorrow’s event and I was wondering if—You know, if you’re not too busy… Maybe give us a hand?”

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She didn’t expect that. But still she managed to answer.

“I… I have a class.”

This time it wasn’t a lie. She did have a class, but right now she wished that she didn’t and that she was just lying.

Chaewon’s face fell. “Oh,” she said, no longer smiling. “It’s okay.”

Yujin suddenly felt guilty.

She could only walk Chaewon up to her dorm building as an apology.

———
———

Things usually happen when you least expect them to, so when Yujin suddenly appeared in front of her with her hand pressing against her own to steady the box that was on the verge of falling from her arms, Chaewon felt winded. It was worse than getting punched in the face, worse than getting hit by a truck.

Yujin wasn’t even supposed to be there, but here she was, holding her hand in the most innocent way, smiling that lopsided smile that made her dimple appear.

“Hey,” the taller girl greeted, taking the box of cables from her hands.

“I—Wha—I don’t—I mean—”

“My professor cancelled our lecture, asked us to help here instead.”

Chaewon could only smile. For once in her life, she was speechless. And maybe, just this once, she didn’t mind either.

—–

If she was to count, Chaewon was sure she has had at least a hundred confessions thrown at her just this year alone. She never really liked being a