He was tired. He was numb. All that he had, he lost it all in a blink of an eye. Now, his walls were back, stronger and darker than ever.

Friends were Oh Sehun's safe haven.

Growing up as the first son in an Asian household, he had a rough childhood. Dealing with his own troubles and breakdowns on his own at a young age did not help at all with his self-care. Sehun could not lie and he treasured honesty the most in people, surely, he might kill for those who lied. Somehow, once, he had a diary that contained all his unsaid thoughts and feelings he kept including his unrequited puppy love. It cost him himself. His younger sister found his diary and gave it to their parents while Sehun was out of town for a basketball tournament. Upon coming home, he was beaten to a pulp, his worn-out body covered with nothing but scars from his father's belt. The 1st place trophy? His parents never took interest in it until Sehun was awarded as the best student of his primary school at the end of the year. Sehun felt like an outcast at his own house and that was why he never felt at home in his own family. That was when Sehun started to spend more time at school rather than with his family. His teachers were his second parents, his schoolmates were his siblings and the staff even the gardeners were his uncles and aunts. He was all but a bad kid. No one could ever tell how much of a messed-up child he really was behind that pretty smile of his. By the time he entered secondary school, Sehun was the master of deception.

Though opening up is hard, it took Sehun a whole semester of his foundation year to be in a circle of best friends. It was Suzy who introduced him to her best friends, Jackson and Nayeon, Sehun's then-girlfriend. Sehun was well-known among others than his best buds as he was one of the higher student committee members and even if he spent more time with the committee members, his best friends were his priority. Nothing is more important than three hooligans of his, even nothing else matters like them. Among the three, he was very close with Suzy that she would know every story of his life, every side and every shade of himself because she was the first friend he ever had in years. Suzy felt the same to him, or so he thought. Who would have known such pure friendship could be torn into pieces in just a short period of time?

Trouble started to stir up when Suzy was getting comfortable around Taecyeon, her charming then-boyfriend whom Suzy had a crush on since forever. With Jackson and Nayeon attending different courses and staying at a different campus, Sehun was stuck as the third wheeler of the couple and he did not even mind as he never thought anything less of Suzy and her relationship and he was just there any time she wanted. They were on the second semester of their first-year degree when they stayed in the campus dormitory together. There, he met Yoona, Taecyeon's ex-girlfriend who remained as his best friend after their breakup. Sehun was not that keen to meet new people so he stayed in his dorm most of the time while Suzy went out and spent a lot of time together with Taecyeon and also Yoona, who introduced them to her dormmates. The feeling of neglect always came by but Sehun would dismiss it at any cost since Suzy would always be searching for him and ask him out even though she knows his answer. Their friendship was going strong as they had ever been. Or was it?

Taecyeon took interest in Yoona's roommate, Seohyun and it stirred up his relationship with Suzy which led to their breakup. That was the cue where Suzy should have left Taecyeon in the past as how Sehun told her to. Being persistent in getting back together with Taecyeon, Suzy made Sehun promise to help her get revenge on Taecyeon by introducing Sehun to her new friends. By the time they were moving along with Suzy's plan, Nayeon did not see eye to eye with them especially Suzy as it jeopardized her relationship with Sehun, but as a loyal friend he was, Sehun was convinced his anxious girl that he would be fine and no strings attached with anyone. Poor Sehun, if only he knew feelings are too fragile and unexpected.

Suzy proceeded to introduce Sehun to Yoona and her dormmates and he was quickly welcomed by his soft personality. Sehun was always a gentleman and that made him the spotlight for some time. Seohyun and Sehun clicked quicker than expected as they shared the same humour and to their surprise, both of them shared a lot of interest together especially their taste in music. Sehun would play the guitar and they would be singing together as a duet whenever they hang out. Taecyeon was a guitar boy after all, but he cannot sing as much as he wanted to which beats him to second place then. Knowing their plan was working out well, Suzy started to notice another thing. Taecyeon was hiding the true colours of his relationship with Yoona. And the plan goes on to another level, the one who destroyed Sehun's relationship.

At first, Sehun thought Suzy was going crazy and delusional and he knew it was normal for anyone to overthink when their loved ones are too close with another person especially with a certain past regarding love. But after he saw with his own eyes, how Taecyeon acted around Yoona behind Suzy, it boiled his anger. It was his best friend being played and Suzy was no game for Sehun, a game who no one should ever play. At that very moment, Sehun decided to risk everything including his very own soul to get revenge on Taecyeon.

Sehun started to open up with Yoona, trying to know more about her and Taecyeon, and which he guessed right, Yoona was not over Taecyeon and was not having it when Taecyeon was with Suzy. Now, he realized how big of a mess he was in involving not two but 4 people in a complicated relationship. He wanted nothing but justice for his best friend, one way or another. Taecyeon messed with the wrong girl and it was payback time. Yet he only thought this revenge would not backfire at him.

Sehun was always a homebody and preferred chilling with his PC games instead of going out with Suzy who was always that girl who would always have things to be bought outside of the campus. But for the sake of his plan with Suzy, he had to muster every ounce of his energy and be the outgoing Sehun. All this for petty revenge. Will it be worth the pain he would have that came after? He never knew.

That fateful Friday, Sehun, Suzy, Taecyeon, Yoona, and Seohyun went out, stayed at a hotel together, and spend all their time together shopping, food-hunting, and just getting to know each other even more. All of the sudden, a fight broke out between Suzy and Taecyeon which forced Sehun and Seohyun to go with Suzy while Taecyeon with Yoona. Not able to control himself seeing Suzy cry in front of him, Sehun burst out of anger at Taecyeon and his words are nothing but ugly, it was the worst version of him. He would not mind if Seohyun and Yoona hated him for his new side because he bottled up his anger so much ever since he listened to how badly Taecyeon treated his best friend. But to his surprise, it was not Seohyun or Yoona who despised him for what he had done, it was Suzy.

Now, Sehun did not know who Suzy was or what had possessed her because this was not the Suzy, he knew for these 2 years. That very night, Suzy ignored him and did not even look at him but she only spent all evening with Taecyeon, the one who hurt her. Fishy? Yes. Stupid? Absolutely! But what do we expect from someone in love, not to mention the ones with attachment issues? Sehun felt nothing but hurt, so he packed his bag and went back to the campus alone. He was too caught in the surprise of his best friend's change of demeanour and nothing hurts more than this for him.

The next few days were nothing more than classes and more assignments for Sehun until Suzy showed up and talked to him about everything that happened and he swore there's nothing but disgust in her eyes towards him. He wondered what went south. Suzy came clean with Sehun on how she talked to Taecyeon and Yoona about him and they were not good things. For all the things that happened and everything he had done for her, Suzy seemed to not see any of Taecyeon's fault after all these times and suddenly all the blame was on Sehun, the one she asked for help all these times. Every word that came out of Suzy's mouth was nothing but saying that Sehun should apologize to Taecyeon for everything that had happened. It was definitely a slap on Sehun's face hearing those words from Suzy. That moment, Sehun knew he was scarred deeply by his own best friend.

The next day, Suzy and Taecyeon moved in together to Taecyeon's family house, leaving Sehun alone on the campus. He was still in shock of all that happened and he never talked to the couple after apologizing as Suzy insisted. He took down his ego for that one last time and walked away from them, never looking back ever since. At the same time, Yoona was trying to help him cope with the situation and they grew closer than ever. Without Taecyeon and Suzy, Sehun was with no one but Yoona. Sehun would always know Yoona and Taecyeon called each other and he swore he heard Suzy being so happy with Taecyeon. He did not feel anything for her as Suzy is slowly fading as a friend and stayed as his trauma instead.

Days passed by, no words from Suzy, Sehun continued to spend more time with Yoona, even celebrating his birthday together. Without any warning, Sehun noticed he had fallen for the girl. He noticed every little thing about her and how he could see nothing but a far distant pain behind her goofy self. He knew the latter would never reciprocate his feelings yet he still could not drag himself out of the trap. He knew he would lose to Taecyeon; he would lose everything but he could not leave and he could not help but hope that he would see the girl every single day. Yoona definitely did not feel the same, not as much as he did, as much as she wanted to try and know Sehun better, Taecyeon was still in her mind as he was her first love. The days Yoona and Sehun spent together brought them closer than ever that Yoona managed to bring down Sehun's walls again and it turned out that they were as messed up as each other. The nightmare that happened on that certain Friday was already past everything that was going on between them.

Sehun's trouble did not end there when suddenly Yoona was mad at him, asking for him to explain what he had told Taecyeon. He was confused and hurt by the way she turned 360 degrees over something he had never done. He was never in contact with Taecyeon and Suzy for almost a month, so how would they know anything from him? Suddenly, Yoona distanced herself and Sehun took it as a sign for him to walk away because being with them made him realize it was all too ruined and they were holding on to a friendship that could not be saved anymore. Neither his friendship with Suzy nor his new bloomed bond with Yoona. He needed air to breathe because it was suffocating him.

He was eating alone again at the café when Baekhyun, a friend from his high school, invited him over to their dorm to play some PC games together, which he gladly agreed for it was his passion for games. Sehun started to spend so much time on games after classes and have not been seeing anyone else than Baekhyun and his roommates that he decided to move in with them. He was away for too long that Yoona felt sorry for what had happened between them. She thought about having him back and she was asking him to come back via text, Sehun replied as nothing happened but when he did come, it was not that Sehun she knew anymore.

That Monday they met for the first time in a while, Yoona noticed the walls were back and it was not the Sehun she talked to a month ago. He only answered the necessary questions and did not share any details if it was not needed. His gaze was nothing but distant and his smile was the same smile he gave to everyone else. He was not the Sehun who was head over heels for Yoona. This was the Sehun before meeting Suzy, with much darker shades on himself. This Sehun did not hesitate to voice out his dislikes and annoyance and he could care less about what others think of the new him. He was walking around with clouds of distaste around them and suddenly change to the old Sehun around others except for Yoona and her friends.

Sehun noticed how he was hurting Yoona without him noticing, and he honestly could not control any of it, his walls were up again and he could not risk it again. He was losing everything, he sacrificed everything for his friends and where did it get him? Nothing but trauma and nightmares. He needed to get out of this circle of friends. Suzy, Yoona, Taecyeon, even Seohyun. He had to leave this madness before he lost his sanity as well. He did meet Yoona and Seohyun before he moved out completely to Baekhyun's, apologizing for one last time to leave without any hard feelings between them. When Sehun walked out of the door, he never looked back, ever.

A year passed and they saw his name on the university's official website, finally with that eye smile of his while holding the trophy of LoL National League champion under SM academy. He was there smiling again and yet no one knows what lies underneath that smile. Oh Sehun was again his old self, more vigilant than ever, waiting for the right person to melt the ice in him all over again.