Mihyun knew it was hard to fall in love, be committed and live a long life holding onto another person living her own personal life. Having a partner who you could share the ride in this unpredictable journey of existence means living two lives in one body. Sometimes, she thinks: no matter how much two lovers try to enjoying personal time for each selves, once they fall so deeply in love with each other, they just can't stop getting involve with their partners, whatever it is they wanna do.

 

She wasn't the type to believe that there's this one person who is meant to be her soulmate; maybe because the term soulmate didn't click right with her.

 

"It's just too deep, isn't it?" She meant, why "soul"mate? It's ridiculous. Why would she let her soul be entangled with someone else's?

 

Her parents are divorced. Her friends went through series of heartbreaks. How could Mihyun have faith that she'll soon have a beautiful love story unlike what she'd seen from the people around her?

 

The answer was Shiah.

 

Just that, one day came and all Mihyun can think about was: "Yooa would look good as my wife."

 

Her first impression of Shiah is still as clear as her stepsister's eyeglasses are to her mind. It was funny, no, it's still funny for her everytime she remembers that scenario where she had her first encounter with the girl. No one would believe it but it's true. It really happened.

 

"Ah, ! Why didn't you wake me earlier?!" Mihyun grabbed her coat from the couch and hung it on her shoulder; not minding how the straightened fabric would be crumpled from her hastiness. She shoots a glare towards the girl sitting on the dining table while eating cereals and watching some youtube videos on the phone standing by the cup of choco. 

 

The girl chilling at the table shrugged at her. "Um? As far as I can remember, I'm supposedly your stepsister, not your nanny." 

 

That girl's name is Jiho. Yes, Mihyun's step sister, they're just two years apart. They met about three years ago after their single parents got involved into some kind of romantic accident called 'marriage'. Mihyun's mother married Jiho's father and here she is, after three long years, running for stability in her life -- a successful college student, a respectful daughter and a good role model for her instant stepsister, which- she is clearly not and she cannot because apparently, Jiho already seemed like a saint in their parents' eyes.

 

After she finished tying her converse rubber shoes, she grabbed a piece of bread from the plate next to Jiho's cup. That action caused Jiho's phone to slide down and drop back on the table. 

 

Like how tigers prepare to roar towards their prey, Mihyun saw how her sister's eyes changed, like the younger girl would kill her anytime now. Mihyun stared back with the smug look on her face, waiting for her opportunity to come.

 

Just a bit more, come on, show me what you got, Kim Jiho.

 

"Good morning girls! Oh- Mihyun, I thought you'll be at the university today?" 

 

Saved by her father. Mihyun shook her head and turned away from Jiho and walked towards the main door.

 

"Yeah, I'm going now." She muttered without even looking back at her stepfather. 

 

That's how that day started, there are more things that are bound to happen, especially in the next 30 minutes.

 

Mihyun is sitting at one corner of the bus, there's about 20 more minutes before she gets off. It's 9:30 in the morning and there were not many passengers inside, hence, a number of seats weren't occupied. But as ridiculous as it may sound, this woman- a lady with her child entered the bus and took the seat next to Mihyun. Didn't even give a glimpse on those other unoccupied seats. Weird, but that may be a work of destiny.

 

"Miyu! Stop it." The mother and daughter seem to be fighting. Mihyun hugged her backpack tighter as she ready herself for the possibly full-ride noise.

 

"B-but I want toy!" The kid- the girl continued pulling her headband off while her mother continues putting it back again, and again and again. Mihyun can't help but to observe them, until she's staring at the woman already and realized, did she gave birth so early? She looks like she's just the same age as me. The lady is really, really beautiful. Suddenly, she doesn't want to call her 'lady', suddenly, she got herself so interested in this woman. Weird, I say.

 

"I'll buy you a toy, okay? Later, after I pass these papers, hm? Stop ruining your hair now." 

 

The kid stopped whining after the soft caress on her hair. 

 

This woman-- is she really the kid's mother? Why is she too pretty? Is this what Seunghee calls "MILF"? Except the F part.

 

"Oh! Sorry, were we bothering you?" Mihyun stopped staring and met the woman's eyes. Why is she looking at me like that? 

 

She shook her head and diverted her eyes outside the bus window instead, the woman's laugh ringing on her ears while playing with the kid. Right outside the bus, she saw a few highschoolers laughing together, a couple walking side by side and she felt very bitter.

 

Mihyun is a part of a small circle. After that awkward interaction with the woman and her child, she's about to meet with her friends.

 

"Mimi! I was clear when I said '9 A.M.' last night." Hyojung welcomed her with a smack on the shoulder. Mihyun sat next to Seunghee who's massaging her head with an ice pack. She wanted to question why but Seunghee gave her a look that she knew she shouldn't ask anymore why and what happened to her head.

 

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I think Jiho turned off my alarm and woke me up late." Putting her backpack down between her feet, she takes her notebook out from it. 

 

That day was a sunny and busy Saturday. Their class schedule points out to having no classes every Saturdays and Mondays but Mihyun has to meet up with her friends so they can brainstorm about this structural design project they're ought to pass by the end of semester. 

 

"Jiho again? Maybe your sleepy self turned it off." Seunghee sounded tired of Mihyun's putting-blame-on-Jiho extravaganza everyday. She can't blame her though, this has been Mihyun's life for three years already.

 

"No, I wouldn't do that." She denied, shaking her head as she starts writing down this meeting's agenda: planning and scheduling.

 

"Anyway, since you weren't here an hour ago, you didn't witness Seunghee getting hit with a notebook by Yubin." Hyojung giggled on the side while Seunghee grabbed Mihyun's notebook, about to hit the other girl. Having her notebook taken, Mihyun has no choice but to lean back on her chair and watch her two friends bicker.

 

"What? Why would your ex hit you?" Mihyun asks with a grin on her face, she heard about Seunghee and Yubin's unfortunate love story. If her parents got tired of seeing each other's faces everyday, Seunghee and Yubin got tired of not seeing each other from time to time. 

 

Hyojung once said: You two just lack dates, why the hell break up when you like each other?

 

Now they hate each other.

 

And Seunghee responded: You're helplessly in love with your bestfriend, your "soulmate", why the hell not confess to her instead of hurting yourself each time she introduces a new fling to you?

 

Hyojung and Seunghee are both fools.

 

So, Mihyun said: Liking, loving and considering another person to be your soulmate is just pathetic. Romance is pathetic.

 

"Oh right, Seung. I saw an MILF earlier." Mihyun changed the topic so the two would stop. Being friends with them for 2 years now, she knows what topic will get their attention.

 

In an engineering student's college life, one will never get away from equilibrium equations, vertical and horizontal components.. moments equations. Just like how she never got away from meeting Shiah once again. 

 

That very moment when she learned her name.

 

After their professor left the room, Mihyun saw the familiar bunch of architecture students awaiting to occupy the room they just used. She grabbed her cap and stood up carrying her bag on her arm. Hyojung and Seunghee walked ahead of her. 

 

Mihyun normally has her head down everytime they walk out of classrooms, having no intention of meeting many random students' eyes.

 

"Reply to my texts!" Hyejin shout-whispered to Hyojung when they walked pass by them. Mihyun raised her head to see Hyojung's delighted bestfriend but there's another person who caught her attention.

 

Not Yubin.

 

Those same pair of eyes that looked so calm even when she'd been laughing hard with her kid. That woman, again. She's in architecture department?

 

"Hyojung, you know her?" Mihyun asks as soon as they're a few meters away from the classroom and is now walking at the hallway. Like the usual, after seeing Yubin's face, Seunghee is a bit half annoyed, half hungry.

 

"Who?" Hyojung is busy with her phone, probably checking Hyejin's texts. Mihyun scratched her head as they walk down the stairs.

 

"That girl with Hyejin." 

 

Seunghee who was uninterested suddenly grabbed Mihyun's shoulder, leaning onto her while asking. "Yubin? or Shiah?"

 

"Calm down, the Shiah. I guess.." She shook Seunghee's hand from her shoulder and they walked in the cafeteria.

 

"Oh, yeah. One of JinE's closest blockmates." Hyojung said without even taking her eyes off her phone. Mihyun held the strap of the girl's backpack so she wouldn't bump on anything. 

 

Seunghee lead the way towards their favorite spot, the one next to the windows. "How did you know her?"

 

She took her seat first before giving them the unbelievable response that shook her two friends who weren't supposed to be in the mood. "I met her at the bus."

 

"WAIT- She's the MILF you're talking about?" Seunghee's eyeballs were about to pop. Hyojung dropped her phone on the table and 2 sets of eyes are stuck on her, 2 mouths are about to laugh so loud that one from the other end of the cafeteria can hear their laughter.

 

"Seung! Lower your voice!" 

 

"Mimi. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

She was so confused and she knew her friends aren't done laughing just yet. "What?"

 

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

"Why are you laughing at me!"

 

"She's not a mother you would like to , Mims."

 

Turns out, the kid was just her niece. Mihyun didn't ask any more, she can't tell if she's happy that Shiah is single, or that Shiah doesn't have a boyfriend. Anyway, she has more important things to do. Kim Jiho and that final project for her major subject.

 

College life is serious. People were serious when they said this level of education is "serious". In the first week of their structural theory class meetings, their professors already gave them the guidelines, instructions and rubrics for their final project. In their final project for the semester, they will need to ask for architecture students' assistance in designing a structure. 

 

In short, they have to team up with architect wanna-be(s) that are handled by the same professor. 

 

There were just three of them in the group, they wanted it that way anyway. Mihyun doesn't know anyone from architecture department aside from Seunghee's ex and Hyojung's bestfriend. But she heard that Shiah is famous among their classmates and they're all planning to team up with her.

 

Mihyun may be competitive when it comes to Jiho but not at school. She's the type to do and go and not care if other students get higher grades than her. It's just that...

 

1 message received from Mom.

 

Mom: Mihyun, your sister called me. She said she's done enrolling, give her a tour.

 

It ruined her day.

 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She didn't intend to glare at Hyojung after placing her phone back to her pocket.

 

"I'm frustrated about the project and all and you're still not going to call Hyejin?" Mihyun sighed lightly and clasped her hands together. She is aiming to get them to be their architecture "friends". She asked for Hyojung's help, to get Hyejin's circle to be their archi friends. Having Shiah would make their team the best, being the best would give her a bullet to flex to her mom, and flexing this would make her better than Jiho.

 

Hyojung shook her head, seems like she wouldn't change her mind.

 

"Yes, you will call Hyejin!" Seunghee slams her palm on Mihyun's desk. "Ow, that hurts." The silly girl blew on her red palm as it stings. Mihyun chuckled and finally, Hyojung stopped using her phone as they start with the discussion.

 

"Didn't you say there are three of them?" Mihyun asks the obvious so her hidden agenda won't get exposed.

 

Hyojung sighs, giving up and finally explaining to them. "Yes, but only Yubin and JinE will agree, you know. Shiah is busy and won't give a damn for our grades." 

 

"Well, try! We need her, I think our classmates want to ask her too." Seunghee's index finger pointed at the other groups in circle a few tables away from them. They heard Hyojung clicking her tongue. 

 

"Well, they dare not try! For sure, Shiah would reject them too." The  oldest said before putting her things back to her bag, trying to close that conversation. 

 

Mihyun rolled her eyes at their friend then looked at Hyojung. "You're very helpful for not trying, Hyojung."

 

"If you're so good then ask her yourself, I don't wanna receive a glare from that MILF." Hyojung pats Mihyun's arm with a teasing smile. 

 

And before Hyojung can leave her seat, Mihyun quickly locked her head in her arm trying to choke the girl playfully. Seunghee immediately pulled them away from each other.

 

"Ya, don't fight! Mihyun, calm down, okay? If you're pissed at Jiho, be pissed at her. Not with Hyojung who's painfully in love with her bestfriend."

 

"I'm not!"

 

Hyojung is. 

 

There were two components in Mihyun's college life. The horizontal component that will always stay in that same reference line is her family that stressed her out almost everyday. The vertical component that started from 0 and may go up and down, but in Mihyun's case -- is her capabitily to develop feelings for a person, which is Shiah, kept going up and up as time passed by and she continued to find how wonderful Shiah is. 

 

Shiah is her turning point, the point of inflection, her equilibrant -- a term here which means she makes Mihyun stable, like in equilibrium. But there goes a long way before she realized that. 

 

"You're dead to me, Kim Jiho." Mihyun cursed-whispers to herself as she walked to the bus stop. Like her mom told her, she was going to give her sister a tour but Jiho made her wait for hours only to find out that she already went home. 

 

Letting out a deep heavy sigh as she sat under the waiting shed, Mihyun tries to take the annoyance off her head. 

 

"Bad day?" 

 

Mihyun looked at her right side and saw Shiah sitting a few inches away from her. 

 

For some reasons, Mihyun made an awkward smile. Obviously, they're not that close so telling Shiah what happened might be too much.

 

"Acads? Or home?"

 

Is she seriously asking me?

 

"Uh.. both. My sister is being annoying and my friends and I can't find architects for our group. I mean, you know, Mr. Seo's class."

 

"Ah." And Shiah stopped asking. Mihyun appreciates that she asked though. One more thing she has in mind is how she kind of wants to apologize for her wrong first impression but on the second thought, Shiah doesn't have to know.

 

Their bus came and she exchanged looks with Shiah, as if they both want to walk after each other. Mihyun smiled and pushed the smaller girl in the bus instead. Walking behind Shiah, she looked over and scanned the empty seats-- which is just those two seats at a corner at the back. So then, they sat next to each other.

 

Mihyun took the seat next to the window, leaning her head right there while thinking about the problem sets she has to solve when she gets home and the possibility of exhausting herself through socializing with architecture students to get some people to team up with them.

 

Looking back at that moment when she was sitting silently next to Shiah, Mihyun regrets not asking her personally to be one of their "archi friends".

 

But anyway, she had reasons.

 

1. Shiah started talking again and she got distracted.

 

2. Shiah's hand was on her lap, fingers playing on top of her denim jeans and she got even more distracted.

 

"So do you mind telling me what's with your sister and your friends?"

 

That day is another one of their bus episodes. She wasn't the friendly type, but something about Shiah made her open up so casually, so comfortably. Maybe it's her hand.

 

Mihyun didn't want to assume, but the next Tuesday she met with her friends on their afternoon class, Hyojung told them that Hyejin, Yubin and Shiah all agreed to be their groupmates for the final project. 

 

According to Hyojung, the conversation went like this:

 

Hyejin: So, as I was saying, Hyo is asking if we could fill in their group for our final project.

Yubin: No.

Hyejin: I know you would say that but she told me that she assures you Seunghee won't be annoying.

Yubin: Still no.

Shiah: We'll join them.

 

The journey to getting Mihyun to walk pass through the gatekept land of romance is progressing pretty slowly in contrast to the amount of times she and Shiah would share alone moments with each other. 

 

Now that their group is finally complete, they can start working on the project. The whole group first set a meeting at Yubin's place. They're going to team up brainstorming almost every weekend. At each member's houses, except Shiah's. That's the agreement. None of them three are allowed to ask why not at Shiah's place, and they didn't ask.

 

"You have a car? Why do you take buses?" That's Shiah's first sentence after she hopped on the shotgun seat. Seunghee, Hyejin and Hyojung are sitting at the back as they head to Yubin's place that Saturday. 

 

Mihyun just nodded, eyes fixed on the road. It's another day of Mihyun getting riled up at Jiho's 'perfect' attitude towards their parents so her friends know she's not in the mood to talk. 

 

Even so, she heard Seunghee and Hyojung giggling at the back, probably at the mention of bus. 

 

"You two are close?" Seunghee asks, Mihyun recalled that she wasn't able to tell them about her another bus encounter with Shiah. 

 

"Super close!" Shiah says with a confident grin, Mihyun scoffed and ignored Seunghee's question. 

 

"I had to get it fixed because my annoying sister used it weeks ago and bumped on a post." She explained, embarrassed and deeply annoyed. One day soon, she might just start calling her stepsister as Annoying.

 

"Aw, she got you that hard huh?" Shiah teased. Hyojung and Seunghee used to tease Mihyun a lot back then too but they got tired of it everytime Mihyun offers them a fight. She really gets so mad when talking about this.

 

"She's just annoying." Mihyun mutters, hands gripping on the steering wheel.

 

"It's cute though." Shiah got her attention. Mihyun simply glanced at the girl for a split moment and saw her tying the long raven hair in a ponytail. She's wearing a simple white shirt and black skirt. This girl is pretty.

 

When they reached Yubin's house, they were all awkward. Shiah stopped talking to Mihyun and instead helped Yubin preparing their lunch. Hyojung and Hyejin were clinging to each other on the couch while Seunghee and Mihyun are at the floor finalising their workload schedule.

 

Aside from Shiah and Yubin's casual friend talk on the kitchen, Mihyun and Seunghee's silent discussion and Hyojung and Hyejin's small giggles, there were no other noise ini the house because Yubin's parents are both outside.

 

The atmosphere only changed after they had their lunch and actually started discussing ideas for the project. The change was very much unwelcoming. 

 

Seunghee and Yubin wouldn't stop fighting. 

 

"Seunghee and I talked earlier about this schedule." Mihyun removed the clip from the stack of printed and revised schedule, and passed it to them one-by-one. Shiah stood up and stick herself in between Mihyun and Seunghee. 

 

Mihyun thought Shiah is just being random again but,

 

"I'm the head architect. Why didn't you consult me about this?" Shiah looked at her in the eyes, waiting for her response.

 

"They're good at that, deciding everything for themselves. Selfish engineers." Yubin suddenly whispers, but not really a whisper. All of them can hear her. Mihyun remained calm but Seunghee wouldn't let this go for sure. 

 

"Excuse us? That should be our line for you selfish architects obsessed with aesthetics." 

 

"Hey! Watch your mouth! I can kick you out right now!"

 

Mihyun felt intimidated for a moment watching and listening their friends fight with each other. Plus, Shiah didn't even flinched at their friends' words exchange and continued to look at her, still waiting for her response. She is incredibly terrified that this won't work.. That was until Shiah gave her a sly smile and leaned on her shoulder.

 

"But it's cool, we just need to make a few more arrangements about how we'll work together as a team, okay?"

 

Shiah gives her relief, but sometimes..

 

With the project and their other academic activities on going, Mihyun didn't stop her operation: release the inner tiger in Kim Jiho's saint-masked existence.

 

One Thursday, she saw her sister eating silently at the cafeteria. It could be because she's a transferee that she doesn't have anyone to eat lunch with. Mihyun saw the group of three campus chic bullies: Moonbyul, Seolhyun and Sunmi approaching her sister. She remained silent at one corner, anticipating how her sister would blew these confident ers off. For all she knows, Jiho is a greater bully.

 

Jiho hates being interrupted from eating.

 

From her perspective, she watched as Seolhyun the queenwannabee knocked on Jiho's table but Jiho ignored her. Mihyun watched more intently.

 

"Hi Mimi!" Mihyun almost jumped from her seat when Shiah suddenly leaned on her back, hugging her shoulders. "I-Shiah-! Shh. Be quiet."

 

"What are you doing?" The girl sat next to her and followed her gaze. "What are we looking at?"

 

She sushed her once again. Shiah leaned on the table and moved closer to her. "What are we looking at?"

 

"Them." Mihyun pointed at her sister's table where Seolhyun and Moonbyul continued to knock on Jiho's table but her sister remained unbothered.

 

"Hello? Can't you hear us? This is our table." Sunmi seemed to be losing her patience due the lack of response. Mihyun's lips formed a grin, when she saw Jiho's mad eyes.

 

"Mimi? Why aren't you helping her? They're ganging up on her." Shiah uttered from her side but Mihyun shakes her head. "No. Wait for it."

 

"For what?" Shiah is still confused but worried about the younger girl.

 

"Anybody there?" Sunmi began knocking on the back of Jiho's head instead. Mihyun felt upset. Why isn't she fighting back? Fight back, Kim Jiho.

 

The next thing Mihyun saw was unexpected. Jiho didn't stood up from her seat, Seolhyun was going to smack her head. Mihyun glanced at the seat next to her which is now empty because the former owner is already walking towards her sister's table and before Sunmi could even touch Jiho again, Shiah grabbed her arm to stop her.

 

"W-"

 

"Leave the girl alone." Shiah warned the bully. Mihyun sighed sitting back at her chair, witnessing how Shiah gave warning to those girls about touching her dear sister again.

 

Mihyun was close, she already saw Jiho's eyes darkening. She was close to seeing Jiho's true colors but Shiah came into the frame and stopped it from happening.

 

"Mihyun, what's wrong? Are you really mad at me?"

 

Shiah is following Mihyun's bigger steps. Mihyun has no class in the next three hours, Seunghee and Hyojung are both busy and she's alone for now.

 

"Don't follow me, Shiah."

 

After what happened, she left the table and walked out of the cafeteria. She met Jiho's eyes after what Shiah did and she can't stop feeling so... mad at herself. Why? She can't explain, but she's mad at herself. Why was Jiho looking at her like that? Why did Shiah have to save her sister from those bullies?

 

"But I have nowhere to go." Shiah pouted and clung her arm around Mihyun's but the latter pushed her off of her.

 

"Go to your classes." Mihyun walked ahead again and Shiah continued to follow her with faster but still tiny steps.

 

"I don't have any for today."

 

"Then go home."

 

People had been looking at them because they look like idiots at the hallway, and maybe Shiah's popularity adds up to the reasons why they keep catching random students' eyes.

 

"I came to school to talk to you, Mimi." Shiah is finally catching up with her steps but Mihyun turned to the stairways, going down to the ground level. She doesn't even have a place to go in mind, just hoping there's at least one vacant room where she can take a nap.

 

She stopped on her tracks and looked up at Shiah who's standing three stairsteps behind her. "Talk to my sister instead. Do anything else. Leave me alone."

 

"Are you jealous?" Jealous..? That's so out of the question. If any, Mihyun is instead mad, at herself maybe because she feels guilty about what just happened. Too many things to point out about it and she feels like a terrible person.

 

"I'm not jealous. Just go home. I'm not in the mood to talk."

 

Shiah stepped down so that she's standing next to the taller girl. Mihyun received that same heartwarming smile again as the girl takes her hand, locking their fingers. She wanted to get out of her grasp but the other girl won't let her go. 

 

"Ice cream to cool your head?"

 

And then they had ice cream together. Mihyun paid for it.

 

Shiah was just so random.

 

The fourth Saturday, they'll be using Mihyun's house. She guessed that Seunghee and Yubin won't stop fighting. Shiah must've found a way to get used to the two. Hyojung and Hyejin are always in their own world. Mihyun is alone thinking about many things. For that day, she's thinking of how her mother and stepfather would find this project making with her groupmates. Would they think she's cool? Would they compliment her for working hard? She wants them to notice her hard work. 

 

Funny thing: when her groupmates came to her house, they noticed a who, not a what. 

 

"If only Mihyun could get a girl like you." Shiah volunteered to help Mihyun's mom cook at the kitchen, though Mihyun is already helping. Her stepfather is out for work, Jiho is sitting across them, on her favorite seat while they cook, the younger girl watch on her phone. Her mom is complimenting Shiah for being a constant top student.

 

Mihyun glanced over at Shiah who's busy tasting the soup. The pretty girl is smiling wide, enjoying the attention she's getting. Mihyun can't help smiling as well. 

 

"I want my girl to marry smart, kind and loving person like you." Mihyun's mom lightly brushed Shiah's hair and the latter let out a soft chuckle. Why is she suddenly acting so sweetly..

 

Also, this topic is so embarrassing. She doesn't even have any plans on marrying someone because it's just a waste of time. She doesn't trust that kind of relationship anymore. Mihyun was going to let that conversation go until her eyes dropped to her step sister across her and saw how the girl reacted, as if she thinks Mihyun can't get a Shiah.

 

So, she cleared before saying-- lying, "Actually, I'm courting her."

 

"WHAT?!" Oh right.. Mihyun almost forgot their team is here. She gave the girls looking over them from the couch at the living room a shut-up look before she faced Shiah. She tried her best to send her a message through her eyes, Shiah seemed to get it.

 

"Ah.. yes, Mihyun just started courting me."

 

Jiho scoffed and went upstairs.

 

For Mihyun, that's when she thinks it started with Shiah. But a few years after, Yubin told her that she's wrong. Oh by the way, Shiah is a hard-headed girlfriend.

 

"So, as my suitor, you have to give me bread supply every morning-"

 

"Shut up, Shiah. That's one time lie. We won't ever work on my place again." 

 

Mihyun locked the doors of her car and puts her seatbelt on. She starts driving off from her house to Hyejin's. they just finished today's work and it's in their arrangement that Mihyun has to drive all of them home after work.

 

"What?! No! We have an arrangement, Mihyun!" Hyejin exclaimed from the back. Mihyun glanced at the rear mirror, the four of girls sitting together, trying to fit on the three-person seat. 

 

"But we can use Seunghee's place two times!" Mihyun reasoned out. After what she did, or what she'd lied about, she has no confidence on showing her groupmates' faces to her mom anymore. Right now, she's even thinking of what to say once her mom asks about Shiah again. 

 

"Kim Mihyun, may I remind you that you three owe us, we can work without you but you can't pass this subject without us." Yubin says from behind Mihyun's seat and gave her a hit on the shoulder. Mihyun winced a small Ouch. 

 

Shiah smiled, lightly caressing Mihyun's shoulder-- the area that Yubin hit. "So..? Bread supply?"

 

Her smile was scary. Mihyun didn't respond, Seunghee and Hyojung knew what's going in her head so they changed the subject.

 

"Hey don't think that I've forgotten about you being my suitor." Shiah nudged her as soon as they dropped Yubin to the Bae's residence.

 

"Shiah. Again, I'm sorry for making you lie in front of my parents." Mihyun apologized again, she hasn't stopped driving for over an hour now, going back and forth around the neighborhood because their friends' houses are all over the place so she's a bit exhausted.

 

"I don't care. You said you're courting me." Shiah wouldn't lose, for real. Mihyun can't understand why she won't let this go. 

 

"I have so many things on my plate, okay." Mihyun turned to the right, in a few minutes, they'll be reaching Shiah's house. The said girl crossed her arms over her chest. Even when Mihyun wasn't looking, she can picture the girl's eager face. 

 

Mihyun didn't think of it seriously when she lied like that. It was an impulsive move, there's no way she's ever going to court Shiah, nor be a girlfriend-

 

"Then I'll be your girlfriend."

 

Mihyun pressed hard on the breaks, the momentum almost got them bumping their heads on the front. She received a hit from Shiah.

 

"Ya! Do you want to get some punching?!" Shiah did gave her a punch on the same spot where Yubin hit her. Oh my god, I'm so done for this day.

 

"Ouch hey! Sorry, okay! What the? Girlfriend?! What for?" Mihyun resumed driving, smoother this time. Shiah took a few minutes before explaining her side.

 

"So that you can continue feeling happily flexed by your parents like you want." Shiah is calm this time. Mihyun didn't expect she's going to have another moment like this with Shiah. Was Mihyun obvious about her family issues? Or was Shiah so good at observing?

 

But Shiah was right, that's exactly what Mihyun wants.

 

"I don't want a girlfriend." Mihyun reminded her. At least this is the one thing she's sure of.

 

She thought Shiah would finally give up but,  "Then, acting girlfriend."

 

"What would you get from this?" She asks again, that day she was very confused why Shiah was acting like that. None of her friends ever acted that way towards her.

 

"All of my suitors would stop." Oh. Reasonable. Mihyun heard a lot about Shiah's suitors ever since they've gotten closer.

 

"Okay. Deal."

 

Soon, Shiah told her to stop by the side walk. That house across might be where the mighty Shiah lives. Mihyun wondered why they never went to Shiah's place, and why it's stated very clear and specific in their agreement that they'll never go to Shiah's place. Pretty sure she has her reasons. Mihyun decides not to ask anymore. She waved slightly at the girl, internally grateful that she can finally go home and get some rest but the next thing Shiah did made her even more tired.

 

"Wh- Why did you have to kiss me!?"

 

It was when Mihyun leaned on her seat and Shiah opened the door, ready to get off the car. Mihyun closed her eyes for a moment as she'd been staring at the road for quite a long time, Shiah just suddenly sat back then leaned towards the driver's seat. Both hands grabbing onto Mihyun's shoulder when she gave her a kiss on her lips.

 

"I just want to. You're my first kiss, be proud of yourself. Bye!"

 

Mihyun can't believe how she came from someone-who-thought-Shiah-is-a-MILF to someone-who-is-dating-the-Shiah. That kiss has to be forgotten in order for her to continue to act normally towards the girl. They actually act as girlfriends but only when Mihyun's family is around, or when they're at the hallways. Their friends seem to be excited about this.. whatever-agreement this is. Seunghee and Yubin are having fun watching them and somehow stopped fighting.

 

Instead, it's Mihyun and Shiah who started having childish fights.

 

Being Shiah's acting girlfriend could be a pain in the .

 

1. They actually, really, literally fight a lot.

 

Thinking of a way to piss Jiho off, there's one definite factor to use: food.

 

Mihyun is on the line to the snacks mini store inside the cafeteria. Seunghee, Hyejin, Hyojung and Yubin are ahead of her. Shiah is standing next to her, using her phone. They argued about Shiah borrowing her phone a lot but after about a month of fighting about it, Mihyun just gave up and let her girlfriend take her phone.

 

Anyway, behind them is Jiho-- waiting to get her own snack to eat. Mihyun observes where Jiho is looking at, trying to figure out what the girl would buy and there's one that stands out. Burger. And there are only five buns left.

 

She hurriedly took her phone from Shiah to text her friends.

 

Mimi to Seunghee, Hyejin, Yubin, Hyojung: Get burgers for each, my treat.

 

Yes, she's planning to get all of it so Jiho can't buy one for herself.

 

"Hey! I'm still playing!" Shiah slaps her arm, eyebrows furrowed. Mihyun clicks her tongue and apologized before giving her phone back to Shiah.

 

"I can't believe I'm apologizing for using my own phone." Mihyun muttered. Shiah ignored her. 

 

She looked behind her and Jiho is still looking at the burger.

 

When their turn came, Mihyun indeed bought all five burgers left. Seunghee and Yubin took theirs, Hyojung and Hyejin took theirs, Mihyun took the last one and ate it in front of Jiho, finishing all of it with a grin.

 

Jiho continued to watch her anyway, then ignored her. A reaction she didn't expect. Her younger sister bought fries instead of getting mad at her. Mihyun was in awe watching Jiho walk away after all the effort of eating the whole burger in a minute and paying for all those.

 

Mihyun received a punch on the stomach from her acting girlfriend glaring at her after witnessing her eat all of it without even asking her.

 

"You're a loser, Kim Mihyun." Shiah says before shoving her phone to her chest, Mihyun took it immediately. She was left alone with the pair of exes and malicious bestfriends.

 

Shiah got mad, they made up the next day anyway.

 

Mihyun was on her bed, enjoying her sleepy morning. She stayed up late last night because Yubin sent her material recommendations and she evaluated all of it the whole night. Shiah told her she'd break off the agreement if the papers aren't done by today.

 

She's falling asleep again after her mom knocked on her door to remind her of breakfast when someone rang her phone. Without looking at the contact number, she answered the call.

 

"Why aren't you here yet? Where the hell are you?" There goes Shiah's loud morning voice making her shiver a bit.

 

"Uh.. Home? It's 6 in the morning, Shiah. I'm still sleepy, I don't have morning classes." After Shiah left them at the cafeteria yesterday, she didn't get any texts or calls from the girl unlike the usual days she'd get bombarded by Shiah's multiple girlfriend requests.

 

"Well your girlfriend has! Is this how you treat your girlfriend? You won't even drive me to school?"

 

Her head ached for a moment. " you." She whispers against her pillow.

 

"Yeah? Do it!" Damn it.

 

"I'll be there in 30 minutes."

 

Don't get Mihyun wrong. It's not that she's triggered by their last words exchanged but because she heard that tone from Shiah's voice and she's sure the girl won't leave her house until she picks her up.

 

2. Because of Shiah, Mihyun could get an awards from Oscars.

 

"Let me sit on your lap!" Shiah tried to remove the throwpillow from Mihyun's lap but Mihyun takes it back.

 

"What? No!" Mihyun pushed her down to sit next to Hyejin but Shiah stood up again and tried to sit even with the pillow on Mihyun's lap.

 

"Mihyun, Shiah, please we're trying to work here?" Hyojung asked softly. It's another day of working on Mihyun's house. Their midterms are approaching so everyone is a bit busy multitasking.

 

"Seunghee, she won't let me sit on her lap." Shiah tells her on Seunghee. She doesn't care. Seunghee doesn't care and is busy working with Yubin.

 

Mihyun saw her sister coming down from the upstairs. Shiah was going to sit on her lap again but she pushed her and ran towards the kitchen to take the ice cream from the fridge before Jiho could even get it. Mihyun scooped all the ice cream onto her bowl.

 

There goes the glare she's been waiting for, but not just one glare, she felt a more intense one coming from none other than, Shiah -- from the couch. Jiho came back upstairs.

 

She didn't get the fiery Jiho she's been hunting so she went back to the living room with the loss of confidence. Shiah remained standing the whole time and waited for Mihyun to sit. Once she's seated, Shiah took the bowl of ice cream from her hands before the smaller girl sat on Mihyun's lap, like she wanted. Mihyun was going to push her again but the parents came home and Mihyun starts holding Shiah so lovingly.

 

"Eat slowly, you might get brainfreeze." She whispers softly while hugging Shiah's waist loosely. Shiah giggled and leaned back at her, eating the ice cream while their friends continued working and Mihyun's parents watched them proudly.

 

Once her parents are out of sight, Mihyun pushed Shiah back to the floor next to her.

 

Mihyun thought about it a lot, how Jiho could be distracted from her studies. Unlike her who had been striving so hard every night to get good grades because she wasn't the gifted kind of student, Jiho is the total opposite. According to her stepfather, Jiho is a genius. She can ace her exams by common sense. Means Jiho's IQ is so high Mihyun might never reach her. 

 

See? Her stepsister is perfect. Only that Mihyun doesn't believe she is.

 

"Yewon! Here she comes. Here she comes!" Weird. There are these three girls getting all hyped when she walked pass by them. Mihyun was walking with Shiah on the hallway to Shiah's class. Shiah hugged her shoulder, this set-up has been another constant thing in Mihyun's daily life; walking Shiah to her class, fetching her from her home, even when she also gives Jiho a ride sometimes, their parents' wish. 

 

Oh wait- could it be? Mihyun looked behind her and saw the girls trying to push one of their friends towards Jiho's direction but her stepsister was wearing headphones and is unaware of her surroundings. 

 

"Why are you looking at them? Are you into freshmen now?" Shiah caught her attention so she faced back to the front. She shook her head, "I think I found a way to distract my sister."

 

"What are you talking about?" Shiah asked softly, Mihyun just smiled at her. "Nothing." 

 

After her last class go to dismissed, she had a plan in mind to give her sister's phone number to that girl who seemed to be crushing at Jiho.

 

"Mimi, are you serious about this?" Seunghee asked as they waited by the door of that freshman's classroom. Fortunately, her friends knew that girl who goes by the name Yewon. Hyojung said she's popular among sophomores. 

 

"Yeah, there's no harm in this." Mihyun answered while peeking at the doorway, waiting for that tall girl to come out. 

 

"How are you so sure that Jiho would like her?" Hyojung -- sitting on the floor next to Seunghee's feet continued to ask her. Mihyun had been through these series of questions each time she tries to do something to distract Jiho from being a good girl. Aside from Shiah always getting in her way, her friends also didn't stop making sure that she's ready to face the consequences if things go wrong with her younger sister. 

 

"I don't know, but I have to try." 

 

"Mimi, you're too eager about this." 

 

"Shut up, there she is."

 

After giving her sister's phone number to the girl, who- by the way, gladly accepted it, Mihyun turned to her friends showing them her successful evil smile.

 

Mihyun was mad. She didn't care about anything else by that time, all she cared about was herself and how she thinks she's better than her sister. There are three types of college students: 1. Those whose college life is all about academics, 2. Those whose college life is about socializing, learning and having fun. 3. Kim Mihyun. 

 

Shiah told her a few years after the first time they met that Mihyun was very annoying. If she thought that everyone around her were annoying, she was wrong. Shiah was just being patient at her even when she's being childish and stubborn most of the time. 

 

"Ya! Kim Mihyun! Why did I just heard Seunghee saying you're hitting on a freshman, huh?" Shiah saw her that day after their midterms exam crying at the bus stop. Mihyun cried a lot before, she did and no one cared about her when she cries on public, her friends are also busy caring for their own sakes at times like this. 

 

"Mihyun? Hey.." Shiah's mad look turned worried, Mihyun wanted to push her away and tell her she wants to be alone, but she was so drowned from crying.

 

"You can do better next time, okay?" Shiah pulled her in a hug, a pair of warm hands caressing and patting her back while she sob against Shiah's shoulder. Mihyun's eyes were close but she feels people passing by and gazing at them. She doesn't have the time to care about them. Shiah didn't either.

 

Shiah and Mihyun quietly sat down on the bench at the waiting shed after Mihyun had calm down. Mihyun wanted to go home, but she can't. Her parents would ask her about her exams, she'd hear about how Jiho aced hers, she'll be disappointed in herself. Shiah's bus left already too. She can't go home now that she's the reason why Shiah is still not at home.

 

"You didn't bring your car?" Shiah asks with a small voice, They're sitting closely side by side, the girl was holding her right hand.

 

Mihyun shakes her head. "It's on the parking lot." 

 

It could be because she and Shiah hang out together a lot in the past months that Mihyun knew what Shiah's next response would be. Why am I at the bus stop?

 

"Then why did you come here?" 

 

I don't know too. For some reasons, she may have thought that she'll meet Shiah here, at the bus stop. Why did she want to see Shiah at the time she's vulnerable? Anyway, Mihyun failed to see the smile at the corner of Shiah's lips when her answer was obviously written on her face. 

 

"Mihyun.. you should go home-" Shiah stopped when she felt Mihyun's grip on her hand tightening under hers. 

 

"Can we just stay for a bit more?" 

 

They stayed until Shiah got hungry and started slapping Mihyun's shoulder.

 

"Come on, you're not crying anymore! Let's go home. I'm so hungry." 

 

Mihyun didn't realize, but as much as Shiah became her company, that woman also became her friends' friend. Their forced little group shared a bond after a few months of spending time together.

 

"Yuck. Why are you smiling like that?" Shiah ignored Yubin and removed her sling bag from her shoulder, placing it down on her desk between Seunghee and Yubin's. She's smiling, she really is. How can she not? Mihyun just opened up to her last night, once again. It's a rare thing Mihyun does and Mihyun is the person who doesn't share that kind of moment with anyone else, just Shiah.

 

Hyojung, Hyejin, Yubin, Shiah and Seunghee are on that once vacant room where they're supposed to do their urgent meeting. They're planning to adjust their work schedule before their classes for the second part of this semester starts but Mihyun hasn't arrived yet.

 

"I think I'm Mihyun's safe space." She declared, smiling from ear to ear while Hyejin and Hyojung who were sitting across them moved their chairs closer. These four are always interested when Shiah tells them her progress with Mihyun. Although according to Seunghee: It's a one-sided progress.

 

"Oh my god. What happened?" Yubin asks curiously, the other girls are waiting as well. Shiah felt like she built her own triumphant building surrounding them as she tells what happened to her and Mihyun last night.

 

"Well, she went to the bus stop yesterday. I mean, why would she go there?" Her friends are waiting. "She wants to see me, hug me and hold my hand!" Shiah claimed and her friends leaned back to their seats in grimace. This happens a lot; particularly everytime Shiah tries to conclude that Mihyun likes her. 

 

"That's all?" Seunghee sounded disappointed.

 

There goes Shiah's established triumphant building collapsing in front of her eyes. It's not so accurate to measure Mihyun's feelings according to her closest friends' responses. Sometimes, Shiah thinks she knows Mihyun better than Seunghee and Hyojung do, but she can't help losing confidence about it when Seunghee and Hyojung thinks what she has with Mihyun is not as much as she thinks it is.

 

But then,

 

"Did she do that to you and Hyojung?" Shiah backfired, the two shook her head. Shiah smiled wide again and takes her phone to send Mihyun a text.

 

Shiah was indeed like her safe space. Mihyun didn't think about what Shiah was to her. All she had in mind is that Shiah's a good acquaintance from architecture department apart from her friends. She didn't even think about this whole acting girlfriend agreement with Shiah. As long as it benefits her, then she doesn't mind. 

 

It continued to benefit her. Her mother is always happy when they talk about Shiah. Things are going pretty well for Mihyun and she's starting to think that Jiho might not be so bad of a sister and a daughter after all.

 

"How is she doing?" Mihyun met with the freshman, Yewon, on the cafeteria. It was after the day she heard that Jiho and Yewon have started dating. 

 

"Good grades and all.. but she stays at the library most of the time. It's cute though." Mihyun looked away, for real? She wanted to roll her eyes hearing some famous girl saying her sister is cute.

 

She didn't see this coming: that Jiho would date this girl. Mihyun gave Jiho's number to Yewon so that she'd get distracted yet look where she is now. Good grades, good romantic relationship, and their parents are still proud of Jiho. lucky. Mihyun can't understand why she feels anxious about what Jiho has now. She doesn't believe in faithful love. What if Yewon breaks up with her and she starts crying about it? That's just pathetic. She doesn't want to see her step sister crying.

 

"I actually paid for the books she bought the other day, she said your parents are too busy and she can't ask them for now, so I told her it's my treat." Yewon continued telling her stories about Jiho. Wait. Their parents are never busy especially when they- Jiho and Mihyun- have requests for academic purposes. Why would Jiho not ask their parents?

 

"I think she's just shy to ask her dad, she once told me she doesn't like it when your parents use too much money for her." Yewon sipped on the drink Mihyun bought for her. 

 

Mihyun stared at the girl's face, she looks like a person who wouldn't lie. "She really said that?" She asked, more of a confirmation; hand slipping under her pocket to get her wallet. Yewon nodded at her and Mihyun can't help but to notice how simple and demure the younger girl is. She doesn't look like someone who would break Jiho's heart.

 

"Here, sorry you have to pay for her books." Mihyun gave Yewon enough dollars as payment for the books she bought, "I know you'll say It's okay, I wanted to treat her, but take this and go get some snacks with her." 

 

Although Mihyun didn't notice, she cares a lot about her sister.

 

Mihyun didn't notice a lot of things, one of those many things is Shiah.

 

"Mihyun, what the hell was that?" Shiah suddenly popped out from the caf door. Mihyun sighed out and walked ahead, she's still confused after learning that Jiho might actually be as good as how her father described her to be.

 

"What?" Shiah walked next to her, eyes narrowing down at her and not even looking at where they're walking.

 

"Why are you giving money to Yewon?" Mihyun stopped walking and faced Shiah for a moment.

 

"That's none of your business, Shiah." Mihyun plainly answered. For all the things she regrets not knowing before then, not knowing she's hurting Shiah's feelings is one that she regrets the most.

 

Mihyun walked again, faster. She knew Shiah won't stop asking her and she can't disclose the fact that she's wrong about her sister. "Mihyun! Listen to me!" 

 

Shiah grabbed her arm. God this girl has a strong grip. "What..?" 

 

Mihyun and Shiah stared at each other's eyes, Shiah looked mad. "You're so obsessed with your sister. You're obsessedly trying to find a reason to hate your sister. Don't you think all these efforts of ruining Jiho is just ruining you as well?"

 

What?

 

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." She can't tell if what Shiah just said is true; that she's at her worst now, or that she'll continue to convince herself that she's doing the right thing, that she's better, that what she believed so far still apply so accurately for her.

 

"I know you weren't the nicest person I've ever known but I didn't think you'd stoop this low just to prove to yourself that you're better than your sister."

 

That hurt Mihyun. To be judged like that. 

 

"You have no rights to tell me all of those.. words.. You're not my girlfriend." She said before leaving Shiah alone.

 

That hurt Shiah. To care and be left alone like that.

 

Shiah didn't come the next weekend, which was on Yubin's place. It's almost like a work-free day anyway, they're ahead of their schedule so they decided to just hang out as that's what they've gotten used to. 

 

"I'm hungry." Hyejin whined with her head leaning against Hyojung's chest as they cling onto each other while Seunghee's blood sugar rose from sitting next to those two. Mihyun's driving them to Yubin's, after they drove to Shiah's. Minutes ago, she begged Seunghee to sit on the shotgun seat that Shiah usually occupies but Seunghee chose to deal with the sugar cub bestfriends on the backseat.

 

"Ask Yubin to cook something good later after we fetch Shiah." Seunghee mutters after an eyeroll.

 

Hyejin sighs and shook her head. "We won't fetch her, she's busy today."

 

Busy, huh?

 

"How can she be busy, what if we had something to do today?" Mihyun heard Hyojung her pouty little friend, she wanted to ask the same.

 

But Mihyun had no words to say. Shiah didn't text her after their small argument two days ago. They didn't have any follow-up conversations after that, Shiah surely doesn't care anymore. Mihyun felt upset though, she wants to hear Shiah apologizing for what the girl told her. Mihyun had no plans telling her friends about what happened between her and Shiah, but she didn't want them to think that Shiah is trying to slip off from hanging out with them when she's hundred percent sure Shiah is avoiding her. 

 

"She has to be at home today." Hyejin closed the conversation. She met eyes with Shiah's friend through the rear mirror. Did Shiah tell Hyejin? Why would Mihyun be worrried anyway?

 

They're friends. Right we are.

 

For the first time in many years, Mihyun wasn't frustrated about her sister, but instead, with Shiah.