Seulgi knew it was hard to fall in love, be committed and live a long life holding onto another person living her own personal life. Having a partner who you could share the ride in this unpredictable journey of existence means living two lives in one body. Sometimes, she thinks: no matter how much two lovers try to enjoy personal time for each selves, once they fall so deeply in love with each other, they just can't stop getting involve with their partners, whatever it is they wanna do.

 

She wasn't the type to believe that there's this one person who is meant to be her soulmate; maybe because the term soulmate didn't click right with her.

 

"It's just too deep, isn't it?" She meant, why "soul"mate? It's ridiculous. Why would she let her soul be entangled with someone else's?

 

Her parents are divorced. Her friends went through series of heartbreaks. How could Seulgi have faith that she'll soon have a beautiful love story unlike what she'd seen from the people around her?

 

The answer was Irene.

 

Just that, one day came and all Seulgi can think about was: "Irene would look good as my wife."

 

Her first impression of Irene is still as clear as her stepsister's eyeglasses are to her mind. It was funny, no, it's still funny for her everytime she remembers that scenario where she had her first encounter with the girl. No one would believe it but it's true. It really happened.

 

"Ah, ! Why didn't you wake me earlier?!" Seulgi grabbed her coat from the couch and hung it on her shoulder; not minding how the straightened fabric would be crumpled from her hastiness. She shoots a glare towards the girl sitting on the dining table while eating cereals and watching some youtube videos on the phone standing by the cup of choco. 

 

The girl chilling at the table shrugged at her. "Um? As far as I can remember, I'm supposedly your stepsister, not your nanny." 

 

That girl's name is Winter. Yes, Seulgi's step sister, they're just two years apart. They met about three years ago after their single parents got involved into some kind of romantic accident called 'marriage'. Seulgi's mother married Winter's father and here she is, after three long years, running for stability in her life -- a successful college student, a respectful daughter and a good role model for her instant stepsister, which- she is clearly not and she cannot because apparently, Winter already seemed like a saint in their parents' eyes.

 

After she finished tying her converse rubber shoes, she grabbed a piece of bread from the plate next to Winter's cup. That action caused Winter's phone to slide down and drop back on the table. 

 

Like how tigers prepare to roar towards their prey, Seulgi saw how her sister's eyes changed, like the younger girl would kill her anytime now. Seulgi stared back with the smug look on her face, waiting for her opportunity to come.

 

Just a bit more, come on, show me what you got, Winter Kim.

 

"Good morning girls! Oh- Seulgi, I thought you'll be at the university today?" 

 

Saved by her father. Seulgi shook her head and turned away from Winter and walked towards the main door.

 

"Yeah, I'm going now." She muttered without even looking back at her stepfather. 

 

That's how that day started, there are more things that are bound to happen, especially in the next 30 minutes.

 

Seulgi is sitting at one corner of the bus, there's about 20 more minutes before she gets off. It's 9:30 in the morning and there were not many passengers inside, hence, a number of seats weren't occupied. But as ridiculous as it may sound, this woman- a lady with her child entered the bus and took the seat next to Seulgi. Didn't even give a glimpse on those other unoccupied seats. Weird, but that may be a work of destiny.

 

"Asul! Stop it." The mother and daughter seem to be fighting. Seulgi hugged her backpack tighter as she ready herself for the possibly full-ride noise.

 

"B-but I want toy!" The kid- the girl continued pulling her headband off while her mother continues putting it back again, and again and again. Seulgi can't help but to observe them, until she's staring at the woman already and realized, did she gave birth so early? She looks like she's just the same age as me. The lady is really, really beautiful. Suddenly, she doesn't want to call her 'lady', suddenly, she got herself so interested in this woman. Weird, I say.

 

"I'll buy you a toy, okay? Later, after I pass these papers, hm? Stop ruining your hair now." 

 

The kid stopped whining after the soft caress on her hair. 

 

This woman-- is she really the kid's mother? Why is she too pretty? Is this what Wendy calls "MILF"? Except the F part.

 

"Oh! Sorry, were we bothering you?" Seulgi stopped staring and met the woman's eyes. Why is she looking at me like that? 

 

She shook her head and diverted her eyes outside the bus window instead, the woman's laugh ringing on her ears while playing with the kid. Right outside the bus, she saw a few highschoolers laughing together, a couple walking side by side and she felt very bitter.

 

Seulgi is a part of a small circle. After that awkward interaction with the woman and her child, she's about to meet with her friends.

 

"Seul! I was clear when I said '9 A.M.' last night." Saeron welcomed her with a smack on the shoulder. Seulgi sat next to Wendy who's massaging her head with an ice pack. She wanted to question why but Wendy gave her a look that she knew she shouldn't ask anymore why and what happened to her head.

 

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I think Winter turned off my alarm and woke me up late." Putting her backpack down between her feet, she takes her notebook out from it. 

 

That day was a sunny and busy Saturday. Their class schedule points out to having no classes every Saturdays and Mondays but Seulgi has to meet up with her friends so they can brainstorm about this structural design project they're ought to pass by the end of semester. 

 

"Winter again? Maybe your sleepy self turned it off." Wendy sounded tired of Seulgi's putting-blame-on-Winter extravaganza everyday. She can't blame her though, this has been Seulgi's life for three years already.

 

"No, I wouldn't do that." She denied, shaking her head as she starts writing down this meeting's agenda: planning and scheduling.

 

"Anyway, since you weren't here an hour ago, you didn't witness Wendy getting hit with a notebook by Joy." Saeron giggled on the side while Wendy grabbed Seulgi's notebook, about to hit the other girl. Having her notebook taken, Seulgi has no choice but to lean back on her chair and watch her two friends bicker.

 

"What? Why would your ex hit you?" Seulgi asks with a grin on her face, she heard about Wendy and Joy's unfortunate love story. If her parents got tired of seeing each other's faces everyday, Wendy and Joy got tired of not seeing each other from time to time. 

 

Saeron once said: You two just lack dates, why the hell break up when you like each other?

 

Now they hate each other.

 

And Wendy responded: You're helplessly in love with your bestfriend, your "soulmate", why the hell not confess to her instead of hurting yourself each time she introduces a new fling to you?

 

Saeron and Wendy are both fools.

 

So, Seulgi said: Liking, loving and considering another person to be your soulmate is just pathetic. Romance is pathetic.

 

"Oh right, Wan. I saw an MILF earlier." Seulgi changed the topic so the two would stop. Being friends with them for 2 years now, she knows what topic will get their attention.

 

In an engineering student's college life, one will never get away from equilibrium equations, vertical and horizontal components.. moments equations. Just like how she never got away from meeting Irene once again. 

 

That very moment when she learned her name.

 

After their professor left the room, Seulgi saw the familiar bunch of architecture students awaiting to occupy the room they just used. She grabbed her cap and stood up carrying her bag on her arm. Saeron and Wendy walked ahead of her. 

 

Seulgi normally has her head down everytime they walk out of classrooms, having no intention of meeting many random students' eyes.

 

"Reply to my texts!" Yeri shout-whispered to Saeron when they walked pass by them. Seulgi raised her head to see Saeron's delighted bestfriend but there's another person who caught her attention.

 

Not Joy.

 

Those same pair of eyes that looked so calm even when she'd been laughing hard with her kid. That woman, again. She's in architecture department?

 

"Saeron, you know her?" Seulgi asks as soon as they're a few meters away from the classroom and is now walking at the hallway. Like the usual, after seeing Joy's face, Wendy is a bit half annoyed, half hungry.

 

"Who?" Saeron is busy with her phone, probably checking Yeri's texts. Seulgi scratched her head as they walk down the stairs.

 

"That girl with Yeri." 

 

Wendy who was uninterested suddenly grabbed Seulgi's shoulder, leaning onto her while asking. "Joy? or Irene?"

 

"Calm down, the Irene. I guess.." She shook Wendy's hand from her shoulder and they walked in the cafeteria.

 

"Oh, yeah. One of Yeri's closest blockmates." Saeron said without even taking her eyes off her phone. Seulgi held the strap of the girl's backpack so she wouldn't bump on anything. 

 

Wendy lead the way towards their favorite spot, the one next to the windows. "How did you know her?"

 

She took her seat first before giving them the unbelievable response that shook her two friends who weren't supposed to be in the mood. "I met her at the bus."

 

"WAIT- She's the MILF you're talking about?" Wendy's eyeballs were about to pop. Saeron dropped her phone on the table and 2 sets of eyes are stuck on her, 2 mouths are about to laugh so loud that one from the other end of the cafeteria can hear their laughter.

 

"Wan! Lower your voice!" 

 

"Seul. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

She was so confused and she knew her friends aren't done laughing just yet. "What?"

 

"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

"Why are you laughing at me!"

 

"She's not a mother you would like to , Seul."

 

Turns out, the kid was just her niece. Seulgi didn't ask any more, she can't tell if she's happy that Irene is single, or that Irene doesn't have a boyfriend. Anyway, she has more important things to do. Kim Winter and that final project for her major subject.

 

College life is serious. People were serious when they said this level of education is "serious". In the first week of their structural theory class meetings, their professors already gave them the guidelines, instructions and rubrics for their final project. In their final project for the semester, they will need to ask for architecture students' assistance in designing a structure. 

 

In short, they have to team up with architect wanna-be(s) that are handled by the same professor. 

 

There were just three of them in the group, they wanted it that way anyway. Seulgi doesn't know anyone from architecture department aside from Wendy's ex and Saeron's bestfriend. But she heard that Irene is famous among their classmates and they're all planning to team up with her.

 

Seulgi may be competitive when it comes to Winter but not at school. She's the type to do and go and not care if other students get higher grades than her. It's just that...

 

1 message received from Mom.

 

Mom: Seulgi, your sister called me. She said she's done enrolling, give her a tour.

 

It ruined her day.

 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She didn't intend to glare at Saeron after placing her phone back to her pocket.

 

"I'm frustrated about the project and all and you're still not going to call Yeri?" Seulgi sighed lightly and clasped her hands together. She is aiming to get them to be their architecture "friends". She asked for Saeron's help, to get Yeri's circle to be their archi friends. Having Irene would make their team the best, being the best would give her a bullet to flex to her mom, and flexing this would make her better than Winter.

 

Saeron shook her head, seems like she wouldn't change her mind.

 

"Yes, you will call Yeri!" Wendy slams her palm on Seulgi's desk. "Ow, that hurts." The silly girl blew on her red palm as it stings. Seulgi chuckled and finally, Saeron stopped using her phone as they start with the discussion.

 

"Didn't you say there are three of them?" Seulgi asks the obvious so her hidden agenda won't get exposed.

 

Saeron sighs, giving up and finally explaining to them. "Yes, but only Joy and Yeri will agree, you know. Irene is busy and won't give a damn for our grades." 

 

"Well, try! We need her, I think Byulyi wants to ask her too." Wendy's index finger pointed at the other groups in circle a few tables away from them. They heard Saeron clicking her tongue. 

 

"Well, she dare not try! For sure, Miss Irene would reject her too." The youngest said before putting her things back to her bag, trying to close that conversation. 

 

Seulgi rolled her eyes at their friend. "You're very helpful for not trying, Saeron."

 

"If you're so good then ask her yourself, I don't wanna receive a glare from that MILF." Saeron pats Seulgi's arm with a teasing smile. 

 

And before Saeron can leave her seat, Seulgi quickly locked her head in her arm trying to choke the girl playfully. Wendy immediately pulled them away from each other.

 

"Ya, don't fight! Seulgi, calm down, okay? If you're pissed at Winter, be pissed at her. Not with Saeron who's painfully in love with her bestfriend."

 

"I'm not!"

 

Saeron is. 

 

There were two components in Seulgi's college life. The horizontal component that will always stay in that same reference line is her family that stressed her out almost everyday. The vertical component that started from 0 and may go up and down, but in Seulgi's case -- is her capabitily to develop feelings for a person, which is Irene, kept going up and up as time passed by and she continued to find how wonderful Irene is. 

 

Irene is her turning point, her point of inflection, her equilibrant -- a term here which means she makes Seulgi stable, like in equilibrium. But there goes a long way before she realized that. 

 

"You're dead to me, Kim Winter." Seulgi cursed-whispers to herself as she walked to the bus stop. Like her mom told her, she was going to give her sister a tour but Winter made her wait for hours only to find out that she already went home. 

 

Letting out a deep heavy sigh as she sat under the waiting shed, Seulgi tries to take the annoyance off her head. 

 

"Bad day?" 

 

Seulgi looked at her right side and saw Irene sitting a few inches away from her. 

 

For some reasons, Seulgi made an awkward smile. Obviously, they're not that close so telling Irene what happened might be too much.

 

"Acads? Or home?"

 

Is she seriously asking me?

 

"Uh.. both. My sister is being annoying and my friends and I can't find architects for our group. I mean, you know, Mr. Seo's class."

 

"Ah." And Irene stopped asking. Seulgi appreciates that she asked though. One more thing she has in mind is how she kind of wants to apologize for her wrong first impression but on the second thought, Irene doesn't have to know.

 

Their bus came and she exchanged looks with Irene, as if they both want to walk after each other. Seulgi smiled and pushed the smaller girl in the bus instead. Walking behind Irene, she looked over and scanned the empty seats-- which is just those two seats at a corner at the back. So then, they sat next to each other.

 

Seulgi took the seat next to the window, leaning her head right there while thinking about the problem sets she has to solve when she gets home and the possibility of exhausting herself through socializing with architecture students to get some people to team up with them.

 

Looking back at that moment when she was sitting silently next to Irene, Seulgi regrets not asking her personally to be one of their "archi friends".

 

But anyway, she had reasons.

 

1. Irene started talking again and she got distracted.

 

2. Irene's hand was on her lap, fingers playing on top of her denim jeans and she got even more distracted.

 

"So do you mind telling me what's with your sister and your friends?"

 

That day is another one of their bus episodes. She wasn't the friendly type, but something about Irene made her open up so casually, so comfortably. Maybe it's her hand.

 

Seulgi didn't want to assume, but the next Tuesday she met with her friends on their afternoon class, Saeron told them that Yeri, Joy and Irene all agreed to be their groupmates for the final project. 

 

According to Saeron, the conversation went like this:

 

Yeri: So, as I was saying, Sae is asking if we could fill in their group for our final project.

Joy: No.

Yeri: I know you would say that but she told me that she assures you Wendy won't be annoying.

Joy: Still no.

Irene: We'll join them.

 

The journey to getting Seulgi to walk pass through the gatekept land of romance is progressing pretty slowly in contrast to the amount of times she and Irene would share alone moments with each other. 

 

Now that their group is finally complete, they can start working on the project. The whole group first set a meeting at Joy's place. They're going to team up brainstorming almost every weekend. At each member's houses, except Irene's. That's the agreement. None of them three are allowed to ask why not at Irene's place, and they didn't ask.

 

"You have a car? Why do you take buses?" That's Irene's first sentence after she hopped on the shotgun seat. Wendy, Yeri and Saeron are sitting at the back as they head to Joy's place that Saturday. 

 

Seulgi just nodded, eyes fixed on the road. It's another day of Seulgi getting riled up at Winter's 'perfect' attitude towards their parents so her friends know she's not in the mood to talk. 

 

Even so, she heard Wendy and Saeron giggling at the back, probably at the mention of bus. 

 

"You two are close?" Wendy asks, Seulgi recalled that she wasn't able to tell them about her another bus encounter with Irene. 

 

"Super close!" Irene says with a confident grin, Seulgi scoffed and ignored Wendy's question. 

 

"I had to get it fixed because my annoying sister used it weeks ago and bumped on a post." She explained, embarrassed and deeply annoyed. One day soon, she might just start calling her stepsister as Annoying.

 

"Aw, she got you that hard huh?" Irene teased. Saeron and Wendy used to tease Seulgi a lot back then too but they got tired of it everytime Seulgi offers them a fight. She really gets so mad when talking about this.

 

"She's just annoying." Seulgi mutters, hands gripping on the steering wheel.

 

"It's cute though." Irene got her attention. Seulgi simply glanced at the girl for a split moment and saw her tying the long raven hair in a ponytail. She's wearing a simple white shirt and black skirt. This girl is pretty.

 

When they reached Joy's house, they were all awkward. Irene stopped talking to Seulgi and instead helped Joy preparing their lunch. Saeron and Yeri were clinging to each other on the couch while Wendy and Seulgi are at the floor finalising their workload schedule.

 

Aside from Irene and Joy's casual friend talk on the kitchen, Seulgi and Wendy's silent discussion and Saeron and Yeri's small giggles, there were no other noise ini the house because Joy's parents are both outside.

 

The atmosphere only changed after they had their lunch and actually started discussing ideas for the project. The change was very much unwelcoming. 

 

Wendy and Joy wouldn't stop fighting. 

 

"Wendy and I talked earlier about this schedule." Seulgi removed the clip from the stack of printed and revised schedule, and passed it to them one-by-one. Irene stood up and stick herself in between Seulgi and Wendy. 

 

Seulgi thought Irene is just being random again but,

 

"I'm the head architect. Why didn't you consult me about this?" Irene looked at her in the eyes, waiting for her response.

 

"They're good at that, deciding everything for themselves. Selfish engineers." Joy suddenly whispers, but not really a whisper. All of them can hear her. Seulgi remained calm but Wendy wouldn't let this go for sure. 

 

"Excuse us? That should be our line for you selfish architects obsessed with aesthetics." 

 

"Hey! Watch your mouth! I can kick you out right now!"

 

Seulgi felt intimidated for a moment watching and listening their friends fight with each other. Plus, Irene didn't even flinched at their friends' words exchange and continued to look at her, still waiting for her response. She is incredibly terrified that this won't work.. That was until Irene gave her a sly smile and leaned on her shoulder.

 

"But it's cool, we just need to make a few more arrangements about how we'll work together as a team, okay?"

 

Irene gives her relief, but sometimes..

 

With the project and their other academic activities on going, Seulgi didn't stop her operation: release the inner tiger in Kim Winter's saint-masked existence.

 

One Thursday, she saw her sister eating silently at the cafeteria. It could be because she's a transferee that she doesn't have anyone to eat lunch with. Seulgi saw the group of three campus chic bullies: Yooa, Mimi and Seunghee approaching her sister. She remained silent at one corner, anticipating how her sister would blew these confident ers off. For all she knows, Winter is a greater bully.

 

Winter hates being interrupted from eating.

 

From her perspective, she watched as Yooa the queenwannabee knocked on Winter's table but Winter ignored her. Seulgi watched more intently.

 

"Hi Seul!" Seulgi almost jumped from her seat when Irene suddenly leaned on her back, hugging her shoulders. "I-Irene-! Shh. Be quiet."

 

"What are you doing?" The girl sat next to her and followed her gaze. "What are we looking at?"

 

She sushed her once again. Irene leaned on the table and moved closer to her. "What are we looking at?"

 

"Them." Seulgi pointed at her sister's table where Seunghee and Mimi continued to knock on Winter's table but her sister remained unbothered.

 

"Hello? Can't you hear us? This is our table." Yooa seemed to be losing her patience due the lack of response. Seulgi's lips formed a grin, when she saw Winter's mad eyes.

 

"Seul? Why aren't you helping her? They're ganging up on her." Irene uttered from her side but Seulgi shakes her head. "No. Wait for it."

 

"For what?" Irene is still confused but worried about the younger girl.

 

"Anybody there?" Yooa began knocking on the back of Winter's head instead. Seulgi felt upset. Why isn't she fighting back? Fight back, Kim Winter.

 

The next thing Seulgi saw was unexpected. Winter didn't stood up from her seat, Yooa was going to smack her head. Seulgi glanced at the seat next to her which is now empty because the former owner is already walking towards her sister's table and before Yooa could even touch Winter again, Irene grabbed her arm to stop her.

 

"W-"

 

"Leave the girl alone." Irene warned the bully. Seulgi sighed sitting back at her chair, witnessing how Irene gave warning to those girls about touching her dear sister again.

 

Seulgi was close, she already saw Winter's eyes darkening. She was close to seeing Winter's true colors but Irene came into the frame and stopped it from happening.

 

"Seulgi, what's wrong? Are you really mad at me?"

 

Irene is following Seulgi's bigger steps. Seulgi has no class in the next three hours, Wendy and Saeron are both busy and she's alone for now.

 

"Don't follow me, Irene."

 

After what happened, she left the table and walked out of the cafeteria. She met Winter's eyes after what Irene did and she can't stop feeling so... mad at herself. Why? She can't explain, but she's mad at herself. Why was Winter looking at her like that? Why did Irene have to save her sister from those bullies?

 

"But I have nowhere to go." Irene pouted and clung her arm around Seulgi's but the latter pushed her off of her.

 

"Go to your classes." Seulgi walked ahead again and Irene continued to follow her with faster but still tiny steps.

 

"I don't have any for today."

 

"Then go home."

 

People had been looking at them because they look like idiots at the hallway, and maybe Irene's popularity adds up to the reasons why they keep catching random students' eyes.

 

"I came to school to talk to you, Seul." Irene is finally catching up with her steps but Seulgi turned to the stairways, going down to the ground level. She doesn't even have a place to go in mind, just hoping there's at least one vacant room where she can take a nap.

 

She stopped on her tracks and looked up at Irene who's standing three stairsteps behind her. "Talk to my sister instead. Do anything else. Leave me alone."

 

"Are you jealous?" Jealous..? That's so out of the question. If any, Seulgi is instead mad, at herself maybe because she feels guilty about what just happened. Too many things to point out about it and she feels like a terrible person.

 

"I'm not jealous. Just go home. I'm not in the mood to talk."

 

Irene stepped down so that she's standing next to the taller girl. Seulgi received that same heartwarming smile again as the girl takes her hand, locking their fingers. She wanted to get out of her grasp but the other girl won't let her go. 

 

"Ice cream to cool your head?"

 

And then they had ice cream together. Seulgi paid for it.

 

Irene was just so random.

 

The fourth Saturday, they'll be using Seulgi's house. She guessed that Wendy and Joy won't stop fighting. Irene must've found a way to get used to the two. Saeron and Yeri are always in their own world. Seulgi is alone thinking about many things. For that day, she's thinking of how her mother and stepfather would find this project making with her groupmates. Would they think she's cool? Would they compliment her for working hard? She wants them to notice her hard work. 

 

Funny thing: when her groupmates came to her house, they noticed a who, not a what. 

 

"If only Seulgi could get a girl like you." Irene volunteered to help Seulgi's mom cook at the kitchen, though Seulgi is already helping. Her stepfather is out for work, Winter is sitting across them, on her favorite seat while they cook, the younger girl watch on her phone. Her mom is complimenting Irene for being a constant top student.

 

Seulgi glanced over at Irene who's busy tasting the soup. The pretty girl is smiling wide, enjoying the attention she's getting. Seulgi can't help smiling as well. 

 

"I want my girl to marry smart, kind and loving person like you." Seulgi's mom lightly brushed Irene's hair and the latter let out a soft chuckle. Why is she suddenly acting so sweetly..

 

Also, this topic is so embarrassing. She doesn't even have any plans on marrying someone because it's just a waste of time. She doesn't trust that kind of relationship anymore. Seulgi was going to let that conversation go until her eyes dropped to her step sister across her and saw how the girl reacted, as if she thinks Seulgi can't get an Irene.

 

So, she cleared before saying-- lying, "Actually, I'm courting her."

 

"WHAT?!" Oh right.. Seulgi almost forgot their team is here. She gave the girls looking over them from the couch at the living room a shut-up look before she faced Irene. She tried her best to send her a message through her eyes, Irene seemed to get it.

 

"Ah.. yes, Seulgi just started courting me."

 

Winter scoffed and went upstairs.

 

For Seulgi, that's when she thinks it started with Irene. But a few years after, Joy told her that she's wrong. Oh by the way, Irene is a hard-headed girlfriend.

 

"So, as my suitor, you have to give me bread supply every morning-"

 

"Shut up, Irene. That's one time lie. We won't ever work on my place again." 

 

Seulgi locked the doors of her car and puts her seatbelt on. She starts driving off from her house to Yeri's. they just finished today's work and it's in their arrangement that Seulgi has to drive all of them home after work.

 

"What?! No! We have an arrangement, Seulgi!" Yeri exclaimed from the back. Seulgi glanced at the rear mirror, the four of girls sitting together, trying to fit on the three-person seat. 

 

"But we can use Wendy's place two times!" Seulgi reasoned out. After what she did, or what she'd lied about, she has no confidence on showing her groupmates' faces to her mom anymore. Right now, she's even thinking of what to say once her mom asks about Irene again. 

 

"Kang Seulgi, may I remind you that you three owe us, we can work without you but you can't pass this subject without us." Joy says from behind Seulgi's seat and gave her a hit on the shoulder. Seulgi winced a small Ouch. 

 

Irene smiled, lightly caressing Seulgi's shoulder-- the area that Joy hit. "So..? Bread supply?"

 

Seulgi didn't respond, Wendy and Saeron knew what's going in her head so they changed the subject.

 

"Hey don't think that I've forgotten about you being my suitor." Irene nudged her as soon as they dropped Joy to the Park's residence.

 

"Irene. Again, I'm sorry for making you lie in front of my parents." Seulgi apologized again, she hasn't stopped driving for over an hour now, going back and forth around the neighborhood because their friends' houses are all over the place so she's a bit exhausted.

 

"I don't care. You said you're courting me." Irene wouldn't lose, for real. Seulgi can't understand why she won't let this go. 

 

"I have so many things on my plate, okay." Seulgi turned to the right, in a few minutes, they'll be reaching Irene's house. The said girl crossed her arms over her chest. Even when Seulgi wasn't looking, she can picture the girl's eager face. 

 

Seulgi didn't think of it seriously when she lied like that. It was an impulsive move, there's no way she's ever going to court Irene, nor be a girlfriend-

 

"Then I'll be your girlfriend."

 

Seulgi pressed hard on the breaks, the momentum almost got them bumping their heads on the front. She received a hit from Irene.

 

"Ya! Do you want to get some punching?!" Irene did gave her a punch on the same spot where Joy hit her. Oh my god, I'm so done for this day.

 

"Ouch hey! Sorry, okay! What the? Girlfriend?! What for?" Seulgi resumed driving, smoother this time. Irene took a few minutes before explaining her side.

 

"So that you can continue feeling happily flexed by your parents like you want." Irene is calm this time. Seulgi didn't expect she's going to have another moment like this with Irene. Was Seulgi obvious about her family issues? Or was Irene so good at observing?

 

But Irene was right, that's exactly what Seulgi wants.

 

"I don't want a girlfriend." Seulgi reminded her. At least this is the one thing she's sure of.

 

She thought Irene would finally give up but,  "Then, acting girlfriend."

 

"What would you get from this?" She asks again, that day she was very confused why Irene was acting like that. None of her friends ever acted that way towards her.

 

"All of my suitors would stop." Oh. Reasonable. Seulgi heard a lot about Irene's suitors ever since they've gotten closer.

 

"Okay. Deal."

 

Soon, Irene told her to stop by the side walk. That house across might be where the mighty Irene lives. Seulgi wondered why they never went to Irene's place, and why it's stated very clear and specific in their agreement that they'll never go to Irene's place. Pretty sure she has her reasons. Seulgi decides not to ask anymore. She waved slightly at the girl, internally grateful that she can finally go home and get some rest but the next thing Irene did made her even more tired.

 

"Wh- Why did you have to kiss me!?"

 

It was when Seulgi leaned on her seat and Irene opened the door, ready to get off the car. Seulgi closed her eyes for a moment as she'd been staring at the road for quite a long time, Irene just suddenly sat back then leaned towards the driver's seat. Both hands grabbing onto Seulgi's shoulder when she gave her a kiss on her lips.

 

"I just want to. You're my first kiss, be proud of yourself. Bye!"

 

Seulgi can't believe how she came from someone-who-thought-Irene-is-a-MILF to someone-who-is-dating-the-Irene. That kiss has to be forgotten in order for her to continue to act normally towards the girl. They actually act as girlfriends but only when Seulgi's family is around, or when they're at the hallways. Their friends seem to be enjoying this whatever-agreement this is. Wendy and Joy are having fun watching them and somehow stopped fighting.

 

Instead, it's Seulgi and Irene who started having childish fights.

 

Being Irene's acting girlfriend could be a pain in the .

 

1. They actually, really, literally fight a lot.

 

Thinking of a way to piss Winter off, there's one definite factor to use: food.

 

Seulgi is on the line to the snacks mini store inside the cafeteria. Wendy, Yeri, Saeron and Joy are ahead of her. Irene is standing next to her, using her phone. They argued about Irene borrowing her phone a lot but after about a month of fighting about it, Seulgi just gave up and let her girlfriend take her phone.

 

Anyway, behind them is Winter-- waiting to get her own snack to eat. Seulgi observes where Winter is looking at, trying to figure out what the girl would buy and there's one that stands out. Burger. And there are only five buns left.

 

She hurriedly took her phone from Irene to text her friends.

 

Seul to Wendy, Yeri, Joy, Saeron: Get burgers for each, my treat.

 

Yes, she's planning to get all of it so Winter can't buy one for herself.

 

"Hey! I'm still playing!" Irene slaps her arm, eyebrows furrowed. Seulgi clicks her tongue and apologized before giving her phone back to Irene.

 

"I can't believe I'm apologizing for using my own phone." Seulgi muttered. Irene ignored her. 

 

She looked behind her and Winter is still looking at the burger.

 

When their turn came, Seulgi indeed bought all five burgers left. Wendy and Joy took theirs, Saeron and Yeri took theirs, Seulgi took the last one and ate it in front of Winter, finishing all of it with a grin.

 

Winter continued to watch her anyway, then ignored her. A reaction she didn't expect. Her younger sister bought fries instead of getting mad at her. Seulgi was in awe watching Winter walk away after all the effort of eating the whole burger in a minute and paying for all those.

 

Seulgi received a punch on the stomach from her acting girlfriend glaring at her after witnessing her eat all of it without even asking her.

 

"You're a loser, Kang Seulgi." Irene says before shoving her phone to her chest, Seulgi took it immediately. She was left alone with the pair of exes and malicious bestfriends.

 

Irene got mad, they made up the next day anyway.

 

Seulgi was on her bed, enjoying her sleepy morning. She stayed up late last night because Joy sent her material recommendations and she evaluated all of it the whole night. Irene told her she'd break off the agreement if the papers aren't done by today.

 

She's falling asleep again after her mom knocked on her door to remind her of breakfast when someone rang her phone. Without looking at the contact number, she answered the call.

 

"Why aren't you here yet? Where the hell are you?" There goes Irene's loud morning voice making her shiver a bit.

 

"Uh.. Home? It's 6 in the morning, Irene. I'm still sleepy, I don't have morning classes." After Irene left them at the cafeteria yesterday, she didn't get any texts or calls from the girl unlike the usual days she'd get bombarded by Irene's multiple girlfriend requests.

 

"Well your girlfriend has! Is this how you treat your girlfriend? You won't even drive me to school?"

 

Her head ached for a moment. " you." She whispers against her pillow.

 

"Yeah? Do it!" Damn it.

 

"I'll be there in 30 minutes."

 

Don't get Seulgi wrong. It's not that she's triggered by their last words exchanged but because she heard that tone from Irene's voice and she's sure the girl won't leave her house until she picks her up.

 

2. Because of Irene, Seulgi could get an awards from Oscars.

 

"Let me sit on your lap!" Irene tried to remove the throwpillow from Seulgi's lap but Seulgi takes it back.

 

"What? No!" Seulgi pushed her down to sit next to Yeri but Irene stood up again and tried to sit even with the pillow on Seulgi's lap.

 

"Seulgi, Irene, please we're trying to work here?" Saeron asked softly. It's another day of working on Seulgi's house. Their midterms are approaching so everyone is a bit busy multitasking.

 

"Wendy, she won't let me sit on her lap." Irene tells her on Wendy. She doesn't care. Wendy doesn't care and is busy working with Joy.

 

Seulgi saw her sister coming down from the upstairs. Irene was going to sit on her lap again but she pushed her and ran towards the kitchen to take the ice cream from the fridge before Winter could even get it. Seulgi scooped all the ice cream onto her bowl.

 

There goes the glare she's been waiting for, but not just one glare, she felt a more intense one coming from none other than, Irene -- from the couch. Winter came back upstairs.

 

She didn't get the fiery Winter she's been hunting so she went back to the living room with the loss of confidence. Irene remained standing the whole time and waited for Seulgi to sit. Once she's seated, Irene took the bowl of ice cream from her hands before the smaller girl sat on Seulgi's lap, like she wanted. Seulgi was going to push her again but the parents came home and Seulgi starts holding Irene so lovingly.

 

"Eat slowly, you might get brainfreeze." She whispers softly while hugging Irene's waist loosely. Irene giggled and leaned back at her, eating the ice cream while their friends continued working and Seulgi's parents watched them proudly.

 

Once her parents are out of sight, Seulgi pushed Irene back to the floor next to her.

 

Seulgi thought about it a lot, how Winter could be distracted from her studies. Unlike her who had been striving so hard every night to get good grades because she wasn't the gifted kind of student, Winter is the total opposite. According to her stepfather, Winter is a genius. She can ace her exams by common sense. Means Winter's IQ is so high Seulgi might never reach her. 

 

See? Her stepsister is perfect. Only that Seulgi doesn't believe she is.

 

"Karina! Here she comes. Here she comes!" Weird. There are these three girls getting all hyped when she walked pass by them. Seulgi was walking with Irene on the hallway to Irene's class. Irene hugged her shoulder, this set-up has been another constant thing in Seulgi's daily life; walking Irene to her class, fetching her from her home, even when she also gives Winter a ride sometimes, their parents' wish. 

 

Oh wait- could it be? Seulgi looked behind her and saw the girls trying to push one of their friends towards Winter's direction but her stepsister was wearing headphones and is unaware of her surroundings. 

 

"Why are you looking at them? Are you into freshmen now?" Irene caught her attention so she faced back to the front. She shook her head, "I think I found a way to distract my sister."

 

"What are you talking about?" Irene asked softly, Seulgi just smiled at her. "Nothing." 

 

After her last class go to dismissed, she had a plan in mind to give her sister's phone number to that girl who seemed to be crushing at Winter.

 

"Seul, are you serious about this?" Wendy asked as they waited by the door of that freshman's classroom. Fortunately, her friends knew that girl who goes by the name Karina. Saeron said she's popular among sophomores. 

 

"Yeah, there's no harm in this." Seulgi answered while peeking at the doorway, waiting for that tall girl to come out. 

 

"How are you so sure that Winter would like her?" Saeron -- sitting on the floor next to Wendy's feet continued to ask her. Seulgi had been through these series of questions each time she tries to do something to distract Winter from being a good girl. Aside from Irene always getting in her way, her friends also didn't stop making sure that she's ready to face the consequences if things go wrong with her younger sister. 

 

"I don't know, but I have to try." 

 

"Seul you're too eager about this." 

 

"Shut up, there she is."

 

After giving her sister's phone number to the girl, who- by the way, gladly accepted it, Seulgi turned to her friends showing them her successful evil smile.

 

Seulgi was mad. She didn't care about anything else by that time, all she cared about was herself and how she thinks she's better than her sister. There are three types of college students: 1. Those whose college life is all about academics, 2. Those whose college life is about socializing, learning and having fun. 3. Kang Seulgi. 

 

Irene told her a few years after the first time they met that Seulgi was very annoying. If she thought that everyone around her were annoying, she was wrong. Irene was just being patient at her even when she's being childish and stubborn most of the time. 

 

"Ya! Kang Seulgi! Why did I just heard Wendy saying you're hitting on a freshman, huh?" Irene saw her that day after their midterms exam crying at the bus stop. Seulgi cried a lot before, she did and no one cared about her when she cries on public, her friends are also busy caring for their own sakes at times like this. 

 

"Seulgi? Hey.." Irene's mad look turned worried, Seulgi wanted to push her away and tell her she wants to be alone, but she was so drowned from crying.

 

"You can do better next time, okay?" Irene pulled her in a hug, a pair of warm hands caressing and patting her back while she sob against Irene's shoulder. Seulgi's eyes were close but she feels people passing by and gazing at them. She doesn't have the time to care about them. Irene didn't either.

 

Irene and Seulgi quietly sat down on the bench at the waiting shed after Seulgi had calm down. Seulgi wanted to go home, but she can't. Her parents would ask her about her exams, she'd hear about how Winter aced hers, she'll be disappointed in herself. Irene's bus left already too. She can't go home now that she's the reason why Irene is still not at home.

 

"You didn't bring your car?" Irene asks with a small voice, They're sitting closely side by side, the girl was holding her right hand.

 

Seulgi shakes her head. "It's on the parking lot." 

 

It could be because she and Irene hang out together a lot in the past months that Seulgi knew what Irene's next response would be. Why am I at the bus stop?

 

"Then why did you come here?" 

 

I don't know too. For some reasons, she may have thought that she'll meet Irene here, at the bus stop. Why did she want to see Irene at the time she's vulnerable? Anyway, Seulgi failed to see the smile at the corner of Irene's lips when her answer was obviously written on her face. 

 

"Seul, you should go home-" Irene stopped when she felt Seulgi's grip on her hand tightening under hers. 

 

"Can we just stay for a bit more?" 

 

They stayed until Irene got hungry and started slapping Seulgi's shoulder.

 

"Come on, you're not crying anymore! Let's go home. I'm so hungry." 

 

Seulgi didn't realize, but as much as Irene became her company, that woman also became her friends' friend. Their forced little group shared a bond after a few months of spending time together.

 

"Yuck. Why are you smiling like that?" Irene ignored Joy and removed her sling bag from her shoulder, placing it down on her desk between Wendy and Joy's. She's smiling, she really is. How can she not? Seulgi just opened up to her last night, once again. It's a rare thing Seulgi does and Seulgi is the person who doesn't share that kind of moment with anyone else, just Irene.

 

Saeron, Yeri, Joy, Irene and Wendy are on that once vacant room where they're supposed to do their urgent meeting. They're planning to adjust their work schedule before their classes for the second part of this semester starts but Seulgi hasn't arrived yet.

 

"I think I'm Seulgi's safe space." She declared, smiling from ear to ear while Yeri and Saeron who were sitting across them moved their chairs closer. These four are always interested when Irene tells them her progress with Seulgi. Although according to Wendy: It's a one-sided progress.

 

"Oh my god. What happened?" Joy asks curiously, the other girls are waiting as well. Irene felt like she built her own triumphant building surrounding them as she tells what happened to her and Seulgi last night.

 

"Well, she went to the bus stop yesterday. I mean, why would she go there?" Her friends are waiting. "She wants to see me, hug me and hold my hand!" Irene claimed and her friends leaned back to their seats in grimace. This happens a lot; particularly everytime Irene tries to conclude that Seulgi likes her. 

 

"That's all?" Wendy sounded disappointed.

 

There goes Irene's established triumphant building collapsing in front of her eyes. It's not so accurate to measure Seulgi's feelings according to her closest friends' responses. Sometimes, Irene thinks she knows Seulgi better than Wendy and Saeron do, but she can't help losing confidence about it when Wendy and Saeron thinks what she has with Seulgi is not as much as she thinks it is.

 

But then,

 

"Did she do that to you and Saeron?" Irene backfired, the two shook her head. Irene smiled wide again and takes her phone to send Seulgi a text.

 

Irene was indeed like her safe space. Seulgi didn't think about what Irene was to her. All she had in mind is that Irene's a good acquaintance from architecture department apart from her friends. She didn't even think about this whole acting girlfriend agreement with Irene. As long as it benefits her, then she doesn't mind. 

 

It continued to benefit her. Her mother is always happy when they talk about Irene. Things are going pretty well for Seulgi and she's starting to think that Winter might not be so bad of a sister and a daughter after all.

 

"How is she doing?" Seulgi met with the freshman, Karina, on the cafeteria. It was after the day she heard that Winter and Karina have started dating. 

 

"Good grades and all.. but she stays at the library most of the time. It's cute though." Seulgi looked away, for real? She wanted to roll her eyes hearing some famous girl saying her sister is cute.

 

She didn't see this coming: that Winter would date this girl. Seulgi gave Winter's number to Karina so that she'd get distracted yet look where she is now. Good grades, good romantic relationship, and their parents are still proud of Winter. lucky. Seulgi can't understand why she feels anxious about what Winter has now. She doesn't believe in faithful love. What if Karina breaks up with her and she starts crying about it? That's just pathetic. She doesn't want to see her step sister crying.

 

"I actually paid for the books she bought the other day, she said your parents are too busy and she can't ask them for now, so I told her it's my treat." Karina continued telling her stories about Winter. Wait. Their parents are never busy especially when they- Winter and Seulgi- have requests for academic purposes. Why would Winter not ask their parents?

 

"I think she's just shy to ask her dad, she once told me she doesn't like it when your parents use too much money for her." Karina sipped on the drink Seulgi bought for her. 

 

Seulgi stared at the girl's face, she looks like a person who wouldn't lie. "She really said that?" She asked, more of a confirmation; hand slipping under her pocket to get her wallet. Karina nodded at her and Seulgi can't help but to notice how simple and demure the younger girl is. She doesn't look like someone who would break Winter's heart.

 

"Here, sorry you have to pay for her books." Seulgi gave Karina enough dollars as payment for the books she bought, "I know you'll say It's okay, I wanted to treat her, but take this and go get some snacks with her." 

 

Although Seulgi didn't notice, she cares a lot about her sister.

 

Seulgi didn't notice a lot of things, one of those many things is Irene.

 

"Seulgi, what the hell was that?" Irene suddenly popped out from the caf door. Seulgi sighed out and walked ahead, she's still confused after learning that Winter might actually be as good as how her father described her to be.

 

"What?" Irene walked next to her, eyes narrowing down at her and not even looking at where they're walking.

 

"Why are you giving money to Karina?" Seulgi stopped walking and faced Irene for a moment.

 

"That's none of your business, Irene." Seulgi plainly answered. For all the things she regrets not knowing before then, not knowing she's hurting Irene's feelings is one that she regrets the most.

 

Seulgi walked again, faster. She knew Irene won't stop asking her and she can't disclose the fact that she's wrong about her sister. "Seulgi! Listen to me!" 

 

Irene grabbed her arm. God this girl has a strong grip. "What..?" 

 

Seulgi and Irene stared at each other's eyes, Irene looked mad. "You're so obsessed with your sister. You're obsessedly trying to find a reason to hate your sister. Don't you think all these efforts of ruining Winter is just ruining you as well?"

 

What?

 

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." She can't tell if what Irene just said is true; that she's at her worst now, or that she'll continue to convince herself that she's doing the right thing, that she's better, that what she believed so far still apply so accurately for her.

 

"I know you weren't the nicest person I've ever known but I didn't think you'd stoop this low just to prove to yourself that you're better than your sister."

 

That hurt Seulgi. To be judged like that. 

 

"You have no rights to tell me all of those.. words.. You're not my girlfriend." She said before leaving Irene alone.

 

That hurt Irene. To care and be left alone like that.

 

Irene didn't come the next weekend, which was on Joy's place. It's almost like a work-free day anyway, they're ahead of their schedule so they decided to just hang out as that's what they've gotten used to. 

 

"I'm hungry." Yeri whined with her head leaning against Saeron's chest as they cling onto each other while Wendy's blood sugar rose from sitting next to those two. Seulgi's driving them to Joy's, after they drove to Irene's. Minutes ago, she begged Wendy to sit on the shotgun seat that Irene usually occupies but Wendy chose to deal with the sugar cub bestfriends on the backseat.

 

"Ask Joy to cook something good later after we fetch Irene." Wendy mutters after an eyeroll.

 

Yeri sighs and shook her head. "We won't fetch her, she's busy today."

 

Busy, huh?

 

"How can she be busy, what if we had something to do today?" Seulgi heard Saeron her pouty little friend, she wanted to ask the same.

 

But Seulgi had no words to say. Irene didn't text her after their small argument two days ago. They didn't have any follow-up conversations after that, Irene surely doesn't care anymore. Seulgi felt upset though, she wants to hear Irene apologizing for what the girl told her. Seulgi had no plans telling her friends about what happened between her and Irene, but she didn't want them to think that Irene is trying to slip off from hanging out with them when she's hundred percent sure Irene is avoiding her. 

 

"She has to be at home today." Yeri closed the conversation. She met eyes with Irene's friend through the rear mirror. Did Irene tell Yeri? Why would Seulgi be worrried anyway?

 

They're friends. Right we are.

 

For the first time in many years, Seulgi wasn't frustrated about her sister, but instead, with Irene.