"Thank you for tuning in tonight, it's been a pleasure. Keep loving Youngstreet. Good night, see you all tomorrow."

Seungwan takes off her headset as she signs off. Well, that was wild. She didn't know what had possessed her to say that on-air but it was done now. 

She could hear her manager in her head, panicking and freaking out. And her suspicions were confirmed just a minute later. 

"SON SEUNGWAN WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!?" Her manager was a tiny lady, but she was scary when she wanted to be. 

"What do you mean? I am just working, ya know, making a living?"

"You know what I'm talking about, this isn't the time to joke around."

Seungwan sighed. This was bound to be a PR nightmare if it gets out of hand. She was still not sure what made her say that. After listening to a listener talk about sharing an umbrella with their lover, she mentioned how it was a dream of hers to share one umbrella with her boyfriend (as society dictated her to). That was where she should have stopped. But she had a moment of rebellion and added girlfriend to the sentence. Boyfriend or girlfriend. It was fairly casual so she didn't expect anyone to pay attention to it. 

"Wendy, you're already trending on Twitter. The clip has already been translated into a multitude of languages-"

"Is the response bad?"

It was common knowledge among her close friends that she is biual. She never tried to hide it, but she wasn't out for obvious reasons. The whole South Korea being a conservative society...and stuff? It didn't really matter to her to be honest. The manager blinked back at her as she looked at her iPad. 

"No. You know the international fans will hype you up. Surprisingly, even the local fans are happy about this."

Seungwan breathed a sigh of relief. Although she was unprepared for backlash, she was glad there wasn't any. 

"Okay then, it doesn't matter to me anyways. What's the worst that can happen? I get a warning? It's okay, I'll deal with it tomorrow. I need to go now."

She collected her belongings and looked at her phone. There were a couple of missed calls from her CEO, which was definitely gonna be a bout of scoldings but she'll deal with him tomorrow too. But nothing from her. That's okay. Tonight, she was feeling exhilarated. The adrenaline rush was leaving her breathless. She could lift a car about now. 

As she walked out, a chill gust of wind hit her. Rains were forecasted for the night, but it seems it hadn't started yet. She quickly got into her car and drove towards her home. She was exhausted and just wanted a warm cup of noodles before she crashed to sleep. 

It was a slight drizzle by the time she got home. She lived in a tiny two storey house in downtown Seoul when she wasn't in the RV dorms with her members. She parked her car and held her coat over her head as she ran towards her front porch. 

There, she saw a tiny figure huddled in the dark. She was about to scream, when she realised who it was. 

"I was wondering why you didn't call."

"My girlfriend talking about sharing an umbrella with another girl. Should I be jealous."

"Hmm, maybe. I'm interested in this one girl, she's tiny as heck but she's adorable."

The other girl huffs. 

"Stop flirting with your fans."

"I don't do it intentionally-"

Seungwan was silenced by a finger on . 

"Joohyunie-"

"Shh. Let me finish. Stop flirting with your fans. It makes me jealous. I know it's irrational but you're my girlfriend. I am allowed to be possessive". 

Seungwan raises her hands and locks them behind Joohyun's shoulder. 

"Did you know you look adorable when you're angry?"

Joohyun huffs again. 

"I'm not adorable."

"If you say so", Seungwan mutters as she kisses her cheek. 

"So what made you drop by?"

"Seungwan, I haven't seen you all week because you've been busy and then imagine my state when the first time I hear your voice today is when I hear you, my girlfriend come out on radio". 

"Don't be dramatic. That wasn't a coming out."

"It's as close to one as you can get."

"So what if it is? I love you and I hate that I can't scream it for everyone to hear. If it has to be baby steps, so be it. But I never intended to hide us, our relationship. There's a reason why I never mute my reactions to you in public. I don't believe it's something to be ashamed of."

"Seungwan….the fans already speculate so much. Do you really think this is worth everything, your career and your reputation?"

"For you, I'm ready to risk anything."

Joohyun had to have seen the sincerity in her eyes. Right? If her hug afterwards was any indication, Seungwan was right. 

"Seungwan, I just don't want you to regret anything", she mumbled into her chest. "We've just found each other after 6 years of dodging around our feelings. I don't wanna lose what we have, it's still fragile."

Seungwan's heart broke a little. Joohyun hadn't had a very good year. The long group inactivity had left her with too many thoughts and insecurities were bubbling out. As for Seungwan, after her hiatus was announced, Seungwan had been recuperating both mentally and physically. But after having experienced a life-changing experience, Seungwan had decided to never hide her feelings again. She had made up her mind to confess to Joohyun and had done exactly that a few months later. 

****

It was during the Monster promotions. After a day of particularly intense dance practices, she had come to the dorm all exhausted. Seulgi had moved to a new apartment, and so they were alone in the dorm. Seungwan was still awake and watched as she came and plopped down on the sofa. She had asked her if she was hungry, but Joohyun just nodded no and hugged her around her waist. Seungwan would be lying if she said it didn't feel like heaven. 

So she'd taken the risk. 

"Hyun, I have something to tell you. And I know it might be a little sudden, but I've been thinking about this for a while now."

"What's wrong Seungwan?" Joohyun looked up to her, concern written all over her face. 

"It's nothing to worry about, but it can be a little surprising." She took a deep breath and spoke her truth. "Hyun, I like you."

"I know that, it would be weird if we didn't like each other while being coworkers."

"Joohyun, you're not listening to me. I like you".

Seungwan got the reaction she expected. Joohyun tried to play it off, like they always did when they flirted too much, blurring the boundaries between friendship and more. But she had nowhere to hide right now. 

"Seungwan, why now". Joohyun had tears in her eyes. "Why now after all these years?"

"I was tired of pretending. And after the incident, I decided to stop hiding my emotions from the people dearest to me."

Joohyun was silent for a long while. Processing the information. Seungwan honestly had no idea what she'd say. She had an inkling of the affection the older woman had for her. She wouldn't be lying if she said Irene, Bae Joohyun, her Joohyunie liked her. She was closed off to people, but she was her person. She knew her well enough. 

"Seungwan…."

"I understand if this was out of the blue. I understand if you need time. But I just had to lay my cards".

Joohyun nodded at her and walked away to her room. 

****

A few months later, Seungwan had to start preparing for her solo. Joohyun and her were talking again but they hadn't broached the subject again. Until she had to record for her title track. Her solo was a reflection of her time inactive. She'd grown as a person and she wanted to express herself through the album. Joohyun would find herself in the studio when she was recording. She couldn't quite explain why she had to be in the studio, but she had to. 

Watching Seungwan transform into Wendy was a wonderful thing to see. And she realised she had to confess right then. She waited for Wendy to finish recording. They then went to the ttoekbokki place near their dorm. And this was where she confessed back.

"Wannie, about what you said a few months ago. I'm sorry I couldn't answer you immediately. Deep down, I knew what the answer was, but I was in denial a bit. But here goes nothing. You probably knew, but I do like you. Very much. More than you could ever think. I was just scared."

Seungwan was quiet the whole time, with a derpy smile on her face. 

"But I've thought about it. And well yea, I like you and that's about it". It was hard for Joohyun to say this. All her life, she's been treated as a pretty face. Seungwan was one of the few people who had gone beyond her face and gotten to know every nitty gritty detail about her. She was the one. She had no fear in admitting that. 

"Thank you" was all Seungwan could offer. She was overwhelmed. In the best way. They walked home, hand in hand that day. 

***

"Hyun, you know I'd do anything to keep that smile on your face. You never have to worry about us". 

"Do you promise."

"Mmmhmm."

The drizzle had progressed to a steady downpour now. Joohyun was still hugging her tight. 

"You still haven't mentioned why you came here."

Joohyun pulled back and looked up to Seungwan. 

"I told you I heard your radio. Wendy wishes to share an umbrella with her girlfriend. Who am I to deny her?"

That was when Seungwan realised that she was holding an umbrella. 

"So, Wannie, wanna go for a walk in the rain with me?"

Seungwan just nodded yes. She was home. 

***

A/N: I'm writing after a long time. Comments will be much appreciated !