Ningning and I have been best friends since preschool. We basically know everything about each other. Every sleep overs, games, we did it. Even lunches and dinners at each other's houses. We've always loved watching cartoons eversince we were little. One of those is Adventure Time.

At first glance, Ning is the stereotypical girly girl. She likes pink and rainbows; baby talks and loves pastries. I'm into loose flannel tops, skinny jeans, beanies and converse. I play guitar and has anger issues. She's like Princess Bubblegum and I'm Marceline. We ing love that show. We grew up watching it. But it isn't all sparkles and rainbows with this girl.

We had a fall out during middle school when she was being "boy crazy" and went out with Lucas. That bloke forced her to kiss him but I was there and punched his face. After that, we're back to being best friends.

I couldn't blame her. She's gullible and I don't think she will outgrow it. I think when we're old, she'll always have her innocence and charm. All I know is, this girl can't survive without me.

Well, it's my fault for spoiling her in the first place. She's literally spoiled by her older sister. Her parents. Everyone spoils this kid!

Nung college apps nga namin, tinanong nya kung anong course ang gusto ko. Sabi ko MassComm kasi feeling ko ayun na yung madali dahil walang Math. Tas sya rin daw gusto nya MassComm para parehas kami. Girl? Wala ka bang sariling gusto?

Pero aaminin ko, hanga ako dito sa babaitang ito. Kahit anong gawin nya nag e-excel sya. Tapos pag nabasa nya, alam nya na agad at natatandaan nya pa. Eh ako, I have to write down everything pa so I could remember everything.

Anyway, for the past few days, I had been feeling some type of way kapag nandyan sya. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko na ewan.

Apat kaming close ngayong college. Ako, si Ning, si Karina at si Winter. Magkaksama kami palagi until nag OJT kami, summer bago mag 4th year. Si Karina, sa events company nag intern. Kaming tatlo, sa isang small company na nagpupublish ng magazine that mainly features restaurants, hotels, etc in the South.

For 3 months, magkakasama kaming tatlo. Nagsusulat, nagte-take ng photos for the magazine.

One time, we had a trip to Shanti Batulao—a wellness residential community in Nasugbo, Batangas.

I really don't know what has gotten to me that day. I was so excited pa naman that I wasn't able to sleep properly. Alam mo yung parang elementary school kid na hindi na nakatulog dahil may field trip the following day tas sa MOA lang naman pupunta? Ganun.

I'm looking forward to have a good time with her. Syempre yung whole team rin. So the writers/photographers are Ning, ako at si Winter. Sa sales and marketing team naman we have ate Tiff and her bf, Nick, and ate Sunny—all of them are in their late 20/early 30s and are regular employees so basically babies nila kami.

We rented a van on the way to Batangas. We're supposed to enjoy the scenic route on the way to Shanti pero nairita na ako dun pa lang.

Si Nick ang driver. Sa passenger seat syempre si ate Tiff. Ka-relyebo nya rin ito pag napagod si kuya mag drive. Si madam Sunny naman (may pagka madam talaga to), nasa dulo na seat at naka-shades dahil matutulog daw muna sya. Ayaw nya ng maingay at wala raw tatabi sakanya, kaya sakop nya yung buong seat sa likod.

Si Ning at Winter, automatic na nagtabi sa 1st row na mahabang seat at magka link pa ang hands nila. Ako, no choice, dun ako pumwesto sa kabilang dulo na seat sa tabi ng window, yung natutupi pa.

"Ning, tignan mo to oh!"
"Wow, angganda Winter!"

Ganun ang eksena nila sa buong byahe habang pataas kami ng bundok. First time nyo lang ba makakita ng overlooking scenery? Ng ulap? They look giddy, lalo na si Ning. Nagse-selfie pa sila nang silang dalawa lang.

Bakit ganun? Andito rin naman ako, ah? I tried to "jive in" sa trip nila kasi baka sabihin ang OA ko naman, na ako ang nagdi-distance sa sarili ko. But everytime I ask them a question, ang isasagot lang sakin ay either "yes" or "no." Tapos pansin ko, Winter would try to steal Ning's attention from me.

Scenario number 1:
Both of them really love Taylor Swift and I absolutely NO idea what they're talking about.

"Hey, Ning. Parang yung pinuntahan natin noon sa Baguio, noh?" Tanong ko KAY NINGNING.

Sab smiles, I can see nostalgia sinking in through her eyes. "Oo, G! Hala—" sasagot na sana si Ning ng maayos but then Winter says something to her na basta may mai-connect lang.

"NING, grabe this reminds me of Taylor's Out of the Woods MV! Just imagine..." blah blah blah. Eh pano ako makakapag in dun? Ang alam ko lang ay yung Into the Thick of It ng Backyardigans. CHAROT. She ruins everything! Like yeah, we're friends and all pero bakit ka sumasapaw ate gorL?

●●●

After ng 2 hrs na byahe, nakarating na kami sa venue. Bale, para syang resort but you can stay there kahit kelan mo gusto as long as you can pay. So may garden sila, houses (na magaganda) since residential sila, may swimming pools, restaurants at marami pang iba.

Nakipag usap na muna si ate Tiff sa manager dun. Since ife-feature namin yung itong lugar and all the things fun to do around here, may discount (ata) kami. Not entirely sure kasi di naman ako kasali sa usapan nila. Duh.

"Welcome to Shanti Batulao! Thank you for featuring us in your mag. We have prepared a meal for you before kayo mag check in sa house na hinanda namin for you," the manager said. She wore her best smile when she greeted us.

They accompanied us inside the restaurant—they serve brick oven pizzas there. Walang tao inside except for us so dun na kami pumwesto sa pinaka gitnang table. As usual, nagtabi na naman si Winter at Ning pero ako na yung katabi ni Ning sa right side nya.

They served us 3 different flavors to us; two different pastas and sides na rin.

"Oh, kumain kayong mabuti ha. On the house yan. Mamaya tuyo na lang ang ulam natin," ate Tiff joked. Everybody laughed except for me.

"Uy, Giselle. May problema ka ba? Bakit sambakol yang mukha mo?" Ate Sunny asked. Napaka taklesa talaga ng babaeng to.

I shook my head and gave them the most plastic smile that I could ever make. I could see in my peripheral vision that Ningning finally looked at me. She was about to grab my hand but I put my hands on top of the table.

Kumain na kami ng meal. Nagtatawanan pa rin sila. Si kuya Nick laging bumabanat ng corny jokes, sumasabay naman si ate Tiff. Si ate Sunny sarcastic yung comments pero nakakatawa na rin, obvious na ine-enjoy yung company at food. Si Winter at Ning naman, parang mga bata na may sariling mundo. I excused myself and went to the comfort room.

I splashed cold water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. Baka ako lang naman kasi talaga yung gumagawa nito sa sarili ko? Giselle, keep it together.

I went back to the table and caught Ningning's eye. She smiled at me immediately. I reciprocated naman but in a non expressive way. Smile smile ka sakin ngayon jan.

"Okay guys, so this is our sched. Mamaya sa may garden, may event about the organic products that they are selling here. You three, you know what to do. Take note, record or write important details kasi kasama yan sa articles nyo. I heard may 5 stations ata mamaya? So hatiin na lang natin, 'kay?" Ate Tiff explain and gave us an itinerary for today.

"Partner ko si Ning!" Sabay hug ni Winter sa braso ni Ning. Napatingin na naman sa akin si Ning and she laughed nervously.

"Sige ako na sa 2 stations. Sila sa 3." I told the team.

Ate Tiff listed our names na on her handy dandy notebook kung sino ang assigned sa bawat station. Then, an employee called us and said that the house where we will stay is ready to be occupied.

●●●

The house is ing big. Pumasok agad kami to see the bedrooms, para makapili na rin kami agad.

Dun sa master bedroom sa taas syempre yung magjowa. Anlaki at anglambot ng kama. I swear, dun pa lang kasya na kaming anim eh. Tapos meron ding malaking bath tub dun na di pang isang tao ang kasya. Meron pang walk-in closet. Tuwang tuwa yung dalawang toddlers. Ako naman natutuwa rin pero di ko pinapahalata kasi pa-cool ako.

Si ate Sunny, kinuha na yung isang bedroom adjacent to the master bedroom. May cr rin pero walang bath tub.

May isa pang room sa baba kaso kasing laki lang nung room ni ate Sunny. Di kami kasyang tatlo.

"Kung gusto nyo, dun na lang kayo sa masters, kami na lang ni Nick sa baba na room." Ate Tiff suggested.

Hinayaan ko silang magkagulo sa baba and I just went upstairs for a while. Sa tabi ng room ni ate Sunny, meron sofa na sobrang laki pwede na maging bed pag inassemble. Yung sofa na pangmayaman na  nakikita sa Pinterest. Ganun. Tas marami naman ring unan at may outlet kaya pwede ako mag charge.

Tapos from where I'm at, overlooking sya sa sala. May railings naman to keep you safe from falling. It's where you can really marvel at the beauty of the house's high ceiling.

I shouted at them from the 2nd floor.

"Dito na lang ako! May bed naman dito," they all stopped talking at nagtinginan sila.

"Tingin!" Ning shouted back. I smirked at her. Nagpaunahan yung dalawa na umakyat para tignan yung bed ko.

Habang nagkakagulo yung dalawa at tumatalon talon sa kama, nag ayos na lang ako ng mga gamit ko.

After a few minutes, ate Tiff instructed us to change in our most comfy clothes since we're gonna start joining the event na.

●●●

Just as planned, we proceeded to our assigned stations and started doing what we came here for.

We started writing about what was happening. Kung about saan yung event, kung ano yung mga booths na andun, yung products na binebenta, etc. Tapos we have to take photos at the same time. Yung mga adults, busy makipag salamuha sa mga tao dun kung kamusta naman yung experience nila, etc.

I kept on glancing at Ning and Winter and napansin ko na parang wala silang ginagawa. They don't even have their equipments out. Nagtatawanan lang sila at nagkukwentuhan.

I just don't want to mind them and focus on my work pero nadidistract ako sa kanila kaya di ko na napigilan, nilapitan ko na sila.

"Nagdo-document ba kayo? Bat parang hindi naman kayo nagseseryoso?" I asked them nung pinuntahan ko sila. Nakapamewang pa nga ako.

"Ay nagre-record naman sa phone ko, Gi," katwiran ni Winter sakin.

"Gi, tapos ka na ba? Tara upo ka muna dito," yaya ni Ning sa akin. Umusog sya ng kaunti sa upuan ni Winter para magkaron ako ng space.

I just rolled my eyes at her and went back to my station.

●●●

I don't know why I'm like this. At this point, di na ko nakikinig sa nagsasalita sa harap at nagdo-doodle na lang ako sa notebook ko. I drew this girl (me) and drew various shapes and lines all over her face that it became a blob of black ink.

Gusto ko silang pansinin, gusto kong makipagtawanan sa kanila but there's this lump in my throat na ayaw maalis. Sobrang inis na inis ako. Galit na ata tong nararamdaman ko. I felt a tear run down on my left cheek. What is wrong with me?

●●●

After the event, the team decided na bumalik na muna sa bahay dahil magluluto na ng dinner. Halos magse-seven pm na kasi natapos yung event kaya gutom na kami.

When we got home, ate Tiff and kuya Nick took it upon themselves to cook for us. Sinigang syempre kasi fave namin lahat yun. Yung tatlo, tamang chikahan lang. Ako, umakyat na muna para maligo at magpahinga.

Tahimik pa rin ako nung kumain kami. Once nagsimula na ako ng ganito, I just couldn't stop.

After kumain, mag iinuman daw at magchi-chikahan para maglabas ng frustrations sa buhay.

I didn't wanna be a part of it.

I washed my plates and everything else that I used and went straight to bed.

●●●

I wasn't actually sleeping yet. I was crying. This day's just so heavy. I could hear them talking about me.

Kuya Nick even shouted, "Giselle, inuman na tayo baba ka na dyan!"

I paid them no mind.

Ate Tiff told him na baka tulog na raw ako at baka napagod lang.

Tapos itong si ate Sunny sabi, "baka nag iinarte lang?"

That ing hurt me the most and made me cry even harder. Kung ano man ito, hindi ko naman sinasadya. I didn't mean to be mean.

Nakatalukbong lang ako ng kumot habang umiiyak. Gusto ko nang umuwi.

Maya-maya, a gentle hand touched my back. Kahit makapal ang kumot ko, amoy na amoy ko pa rin ang perfume na yun. It smelled of strawberries. I felt her sit beside me on the sofa bed.

Si Ningning.

"Are you asleep na?" her voice was soft and full of warmth. It sent tingles down my spine and gave me comfort kahit papano.

I slowed down my breathing and tried to act as if I have already fallen asleep.

I thought she's gonna leave but then she laid next to me and hugged me. Tight.

"Please be okay soon."

Paulit ulit nyang sinabi yon hanggang sa di ko na namalayan, nakatulog na ako.

●●●

I suddenly woke up at around 4am coz I need to go to the rest room. Sinilip ko sila and they were all wasted.

I chose the one with the bath tub. When I opened the door, I saw Ningning sitting on the floor with her back against the bath tub.

Panic and fear washed over me. Pinuntahan ko sya to check if she's still alive.

"Ning??? Ningning?!?!?" I touched her face and squished it lightly because I don't know what to do.

Her eyes opened slightly and she placed her hands gingerly on my shoulders. "Gi...." she mumbled.

"Ano yon?" I inched closer so I could hear her.

"Selle..."

And then she barfed. It was all over my shirt. No, scratch that. It's everywhere.

●●●

As I was cleaning everything up, I told her to have a quick bath in the bath tub para mas mahimasmasan sya.
She took off her clothes while I was there and I was very careful not to look.

"Gi? Tapos ka na ba? Come here."

Fudge.

I stank anyway, so I told her na tatapusin ko lang yung paglilinis ko. When I finished up, I decided to join her in bath.

"Wag ka tumingin," I said. Nag face palm si gaga but I could still see her smile. I stripped off all my clothes kasi pati bra ko amoy vomit na. Then, I finally dipped in.

The water was warm and it smelled so good. I closed my eyes so I could relax.

Lumapit at tumabi sakin si Ning. I felt the ripples because of her movements. And then I felt her head above my shoulder.

"Are you okay now?" She asked.

"I don't know."

"Why were you so mad today? Nagseselos ka ba kay Winter?" she was slurring and her voice sounded sleepy. Nagulat ako sa tanong nya. I opened my eyes and nakapikit pa rin sya.

"Ewan. Siguro," sagot ko.

"I'm here na," She squeezed herself closer to my body and I just went frigid. I didn't know how to react.

"Will it make you feel better if I just stay by your side?" Pahabol na tanong nya. God she is such a baby.

I whispered, "Oo."

"Okay. Let me just stay with you then."

Our voices were echoey. But then we stopped talking for a while and sat there with water enveloping us. I hear nothing but the droplets of water and the static that you could only hear when everything's quiet. Di naman nya siguro maaalala tomorrow morning yung part na nagseselos ako, noh?

Because of this moment, I felt my anger dissipate. This is something that I have been longing for eversince we got inside the van. This moment with her put me in so much ease. Like the darkness drained out of my body or something. I don't know if she realizes what she means to me.

After 20 mins or so, we changed into our dry/comfy clothes. We slept together in my big sofa bed.

●●●

The next morning came and I felt better kahit papano. Pagkapa ko sa likod ko, wala na si Ningning. Naririnig ko na yung hagikgikan nila sa baba.

"Morning, Giselle!" Bati sakin ni ate Tiff.

Nagluluto na sila ng breakfast. Ate Tiff wasn't joking na tuyo nga ang uulamin namin while staying here. Pero may variations naman. May daing, scrambled eggs, hot dogs at sinangag. Ang bango-bango. Lahat kami ay ganado.

"Oh, today girls, mag re-relax lang tayo. Mag su-swimming na tayo later!"

All of us cheered because of that.

"Someone's in a good mood today," ate Sunny commented.

I just brushed off her snarky comment and continued eating my meal.

After eating, isa-isa na kaming naligo at changed into our bikinis. I wore a one-piece bikini na black, si Winter naka-yellow na one piece rin, tapos si Ningning naka 2 piece na lavender. She looks cute and y at the same time. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

The is happening to me?

●●●

We went to the pool as a group and pota? May 3 different pools doon. May pang kids, pool for adults, pool na pahaba na may bridges above.

Kanya-kanya kaming pa-picture saglit--well actually sila lang pala, photographer ako; tas nag swimming na rin maya-maya.

While I was putting sunscreen on my body, lumapit si Winter sakin para manghingi. Ayoko nga syang bigyan. Charot not charot. Deh, of course binigyan ko sya.

"Okay ka na?" Tanong nya. Folks, keep in mind that she's still my friend and that she's not an entirely bad person.

"Oo, medyo wala lang sa wisyo kahapon."

"Bwahaha utut mo," she said teasingly.

"What do you mean?" I asked her sternly.

"More than 6 mos na kitang napapansin. Madali lang ka lang naman basahin. Lalo yung facial expressions mo," she replied. Tinignan ko sya with a questioning look on my face, urging her to go on.

"Hay. Tibo ako gurl. Alam ko rin mga tinginan mo kay Ningning noh. Alam ko na betching mo sya."
Aba'y putangina. Wala akong nasagot kasi mukhang tama naman sya.

"HAHAHA o bat di ka nakasagot? Tama ako noh?" she said playfully.

I rolled my eyes.

"Siguro nahihirapan ka pa i-make sense yung feelings mo pero magiging malinaw rin ang lahat. Heheheheh. I gotchu girl!" Kinindatan nya ko. Nag smile kami sa isa't-isa. Minsan may sense rin palang kausap itong kulugong ito.

And then it suddenly hit me.

Shet. Ning Yizhuo made me a lesbian.

●●●

Ningning doesn't know how to swim. Well, sabi nya may isa daw syang alam. Langoy kuhol. Sasabit lang daw sya gilid ng swimming pool and she's good to go.

Sabi ko, "gaga, hindi langoy yun."

Nilubos na namin ang araw and we swam to our hearts' content.

Si ate Sunny nag su-sun bathing lang. Yung magjowa nag haharutan at nag lulunuran, kaming tatlo naman, nag e-enjoy lang rin.

Pero may mga suspicious glances si Winter at ang ibig sabihin nun, go signal na yun na lalayo sya para may time kami together ni Ningning.

Dinala ko si Ningning sa malapit dahil gusto nya raw maranasan dun.

"Oh, don't let go ah." I told her. Sumakay sya sa likod ko.

"Yep, I won't."

Tas ayun, moment moment na kami tas kilig naman si aquh.

●●●

When the day was about to end, Ningning and I found a hammock where we can rest. Kasya kaming dalawa dun. Hinayaan na namin yung iba at lumayo na muna kami sa kanila.

"Hay, I've never felt this good for a long time. Nakaka-stress ang acads noh? Magfo-fourth year na tayo. Konti na lang, Gi. Alam mo, I thought I wasn't gonna love this course but I actually did. Alam mo ba na it's because of you? I think your aura is red. You are bursting with passion, Gi. Lalo na when you're writing. Grabe. Your passion is sooo contagious. Sana alam mo yan," she shared and sighed afterwards. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. Medyo nag tan na sya and she looks better that way, imho. This girl is just so beautiful.

"Thank you, Ning. Those words mean a lot to me. Lalo na galing pa sayo. Alam mo naman diba? You're my anchor. I do all of these things greatly because I have your support. I mean I can do it, oo, pero you boost my morale. So so much."

We're holding hands. Our eyes were closed and we're both hopeful for the future. She started humming this song, "I Want to Slow Dance with You" by Olivia Olson, or Marceline of Adventure Time.

I hummed with her in the first part and we started singing the lyrics pag dating sa part na:

"Why don't you take the chance?
I've got the moves I'd like to prove

I want a slow dance with you."

"I wanna sing that song to my own wedding... tapos magsasayaw kami ng taong mahal ko. Sunset rin parang ganito. Tapos sasayaw nang parang walang ibang nag e-exist kundi kaming dalawa lang."

Nilakasan ko na yung loob ko.

"Tayong dalawa lang?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

She nodded.

We sang the song again.

●●●

After mag swimming, we celebrated and feasted. Naglaro kami ng charades, nagchikahan at nagkulitan. Tapos, the next day, we bid goodbye to the place but we kept the memories in our hearts.

We're gonna write about the whole experience the following week. Then, end na ng internship namin. Ito na yung last na isusulat namin kumbaga. Kaya ginalingan na namin. Seeing our names on the magazine was such a bliss!

Fast forward to fourth year.

To our graduation.

Kasama ko pa rin ang bestfriend ko na si Ningning. Na girlfriend ko na rin ngayon.

Someday, we will slow dance to that song.

All my love, G.