He woke up with a content sigh. There was a feeling of warmth on his skin from the sun creeping through the open blinds and his body felt relaxed from the comfort of the thick mattress he was lying on. 

It made him feel calm for a brief moment, until it hit him— 

—where am I? 

In that same moment there was a soft hum heard beside him and the weight of the mattress shifted as if someone turned over. 

Was there someone sleeping next to him? 

He felt afraid to move but eventually fluttered his eyes open and tilted his head to the side. Those same eyes widened at the sight of ash blonde hair, sprawled across a white pillow, and tanned skin. 

Someone was clearly in his bed. 

Or, was he in this ‘someone’s’ bed? 

He forced himself into an upright position. His mind felt empty and it was hard to recall his surroundings. 

The room felt familiar but not in the sense that it was his, which made him believe it belonged to the person next to him, whoever he was. 

He felt a bit scared to wake him, so he simply gazed at him in silence. He couldn’t see much besides his blonde hair, tanned skin and thin but well-built torso. It was a man, he knew that already, but he was also absolutely gorgeous. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out they had actually slept together. However, he noticed something else, small but very significant and it caused him to gasp ever so slightly. 

The unknown but gorgeous man then stirred a bit, followed by a quiet hum but he didn’t appear to wake up, which made him emit a sigh of relief. He needed a moment to calm down but then took a second peek at the man’s hand to confirm his discovery. 

There it was. A ring. A freaking golden ring on his finger. He was married. What the hell was he doing in a married man’s bed? 

He took a deep breath. 

Okay, think… 

Was this a hook-up? And with a married man? Since when has he done one-night stands? Since when has he done anything really? Why did his mind feel so immensely vacant? 

After a few minutes of unhelpful pondering he carefully got out of bed and left the room. He didn’t bother to look back at the man, since he wanted to be gone before he woke up. 

Despite his utmost effort, he still couldn’t explain how he had ended up in this place and it felt frustrating. 

Why couldn’t he remember anything?

Lost and disoriented he wandered through the large and well-decorated apartment. 

Is this married man wealthy too? Will his husband come home any time soon? Or wife even? 

Oh god, how will I explain this… He thought and inwardly sighed at the mess he had somehow got himself tangled up in. 

In the midst of his internal panic he gazed down at himself to find he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of light blue pajama pants, which he couldn’t exactly leave and wander down the street in. 

Damn it

There was really no recollection of what clothes he had worn the day before or where he had possibly put them so he decided to tour the apartment in hopes of finding a closet. 

When he did he decided to change into the first pair of plain black pants and sweater he came across. Anything that would make him look more presentable than roaming around in sleepwear. 

At last, he was ready to leave but barely made it out of the small room before he was forced to a very abrupt halt. 

The blonde stranger from before now stood before him and their eyes instantly crossed paths. 

His eyes were quite large, in fact every feature of his gorgeous face was large and unique. His heart shaped nose, doe-like eyes and those full pink lips. The dyed blonde hair really complimented his tanned complexion and the messiness of it after a night’s sleep also made him look somewhat adorable. 

He admired him for a bit before forcing himself back to reality, because he realized he was likely in this man’s home unwanted without the ability to explain himself. 

What are you even supposed to say in a situation like this? He honestly didn’t know but he also couldn’t stand there like a mute idiot, so he quickly gathered some courage and then cleared his throat. 

”I, uhm… I’m sorry. Honestly, I don’t really recall what we did last night and, well, whatever it was I’m okay with moving along and forgetting all about it.” He chuckled a bit nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. ”Either way, I should probably get going now.”

He quickly took a step towards the front door to his left but froze when he felt a cold hand around his wrist. It instantly made his skin prickle. 

”You don’t have to leave since this is your house as much as mine.” 

The statement confused him more than his own vacant mind was doing at the moment. His eyes fell on the gorgeous blonde, specifically his eyes where pain and disappointment was so vividly evident. The rest of his expression was bleak, however, as if he was on the verge of giving up on something. It didn’t make sense. 

”This is not my house.” 

”It is, Kibum.” 

Kibum’s eyes widened in surprise. ”You know my name.” 

”Of course I do. We’re married. I’m your husband and this is our home.” 

After a long moment of silence he forced a nervous laugh. 

“That’s very funny.”

The man next to him didn’t even react, his face was completely blank, out of hope, just plain nothing. 

”Don’t believe me, huh? I guess it’s one of those days.” 

When Kibum didn’t say anything, the thought-to-be-stranger motioned for his hand. 

”Take a look at your left hand.” 

For some reason, he did as he was told and his eyes quickly widened once again. Just like the man in front of him, he wore an identical golden ring on his finger. 

”We’ve been married for 3 years, well, almost 4 actually. Our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks.” 

”You know… w-whatever it is you are trying to do here, I won’t fall for it.”

”The only thing I am doing here is telling you the truth, since you can’t remember it for yourself.” He said in a sad manner and then emitted a heavy sigh. ”I guess I have to show you the pictures again.” 

Pictures? 

Kibum didn’t even ask what that meant. Instead he watched curiously as the man walked over to a cabinet to pull out a box of some sort. 

”Sit down.” He told him and motioned for the couch in the living room. 

Kibum followed the simple command for some reason but also felt rather uneasy. ”I never, uhm, caught your name.” He uttered after he sat down on one end and his supposed husband sat down on the other. 

”My name is Taemin.” He stated, and also put the box down on the empty cushion in-between them. 

”Well, Taemin. This is an interesting joke but I think I really should go now—” 

”It’s not a joke and you will know that once you look through this box, so, please…” 

The final word of that sentence hit something tender inside of Kibum. He couldn’t quite explain it but it was an odd yet hurtful feeling and it was enough to convince him to follow the command. 

The first thing he came across was a bunch of pictures, one of which was put in a white frame. However, he felt very hesitant, or even scared, to take them out and look through them. 
 

Taemin must’ve noticed since he did so in his place, pulling out the large white frame first with a bittersweet smile on his plump lips. 

”Our wedding day.” He said and handed it to Kibum. 

There were two figures in the picture, one was him and the other was without doubt the gorgeous blonde on the other end of the couch, although his hair was brown in the picture. They were both wearing suits, similar ones but with different details, and both had large and joyful smiles on their faces as they stared into the camera, their hands intertwined. 

”We really do know each other?”

”We are married. I’m your husband.” Taemin said, yet repeating those words didn’t make it any more believable to Kibum’s ears. ”You had an accident and ever since you’ve suffered from impaired memory loss. It differs each day. At times you wake up just merely confused but know your surroundings. At times you actually know who I am and remember things about our life together. But sometimes, you wake up like this, confused and without any recognition at all. Those are the bad days.”

Kibum shook his head. ”It can’t be.” 

”I know it’s hard for you to believe right now but I don’t know what else to tell you. It’s the truth. If you want proof it’s all there.” 

Kibum gulped and shifted his gaze back to the stupid box. He began to look through it for more photos, ones both he and Taemin appeared in. They were smiling in most of them, holding hands in some and even kissing in others. It brought tears to his eyes but he couldn’t really explain why. Everything felt surreal and none of what he was told made any sense.

He jumped at a light touch on his hand. Taemin seemed hesitant but then took the photos to put them back into the box and grasped his hand to give it a light squeeze. 

”It’s okay.” He cooed in a gentle voice. 

”You’re really not lying to me right now?”

”I swear, I’m not.” 

”Then how long has it been like this?” 

Taemin’s eyes fell to his lap and he emitted a sad sigh. 

”It’s been about a year now I believe.” He said at last and appeared to cover up how it tore him up inside to be reminded of. 

A year? 

Kibum couldn’t help but sigh. 

”I’m sorry.” It came out in a sad and hesitant voice but he didn’t know what else to offer than an apology. ”If this is true then I am a terrible husband.” 
 

”It’s not your fault. It’s just the way things are. However, like I explained, every day is different. There are good days when you actually do remember and I really enjoy those days a lot.” 

Taemin’s voice was gentle but something about it made Kibum feel absolutely horrible, since he could sense all the pain he must’ve felt. 

”I’m really sorry.” He apologized again. 

Taemin shook his head and squeezed his hand in silence. It seemed that after countless mornings of explaining the same things over and over he was slowly running out of words to say. 

Kibum woke up startled. Taemin. Was the first name that popped into his head. It was pitch dark in the bedroom, yet he could still see the shadow silhouette of the younger man next to him. 

Taemin

It came back to him, bit by bit but then all at once. All those mornings, not knowing where he was or who was next to him. 

Taemin

Their first date, how nervous he had been just to ask the younger out and how stupidly he had embarrassed himself in front of him throughout the whole evening. 

Taemin’s shy smiles and how he continuously attempted to hide them with his fist each time he laughed at something he said or did. Even if it wasn’t particularly funny, it would still amuse him somehow. He was so cute back then. 

They met, they dated, they fell in love and spent each living moment together. 

In fact, they ended up seeing each other so often that spending even a mere day apart would feel like eternity. 

Taemin

How could he forget all of their fond memories? 

Like, the first time they met in the old and dull hallway back in their early and uncertain university days. 

Or, their first, and extremely nerve-racking, date at their local cinema.

The first time they kissed at the doorstep of Taemin’s house, the day they came clean and shyly admitted their deep feelings for each other, or, their awkward but perfect first time on the soft blanket on the floor in the decorated basement of Kibum’s family home. 

How could he forget the most nerve-racking day of his life when he asked the younger man to marry him and the blissful day when they ultimately fulfilled that bond?

Taemin

A whole life was coming back to him and with every little jigsaw falling into place he felt more and more terrible. 

All the pain he had put his husband through. All those damn mornings, Taemin telling him the same words over and over again, yet he would wake up a few days later only to have forgotten it all over again.

No. 

Kibum gulped hard. He remembered, he remembered all of it, and he couldn’t let it slip away from him again. 

He got out of bed, despite it being a little past 4am and sat down in the kitchen with a paper and a pen. 

He thought about it, all of his favorite memories, what had happened and where it had happened. 

He wrote it all down in the rough order that they had occurred and then dropped the pencil with a light thud. 

He buried his face in both hands and sighed. 

It felt so real, so real that the thought of falling asleep and forgetting all again absolutely terrified him. 

I can’t forget again 

Kibum rose out of his seat to return to the bedroom. His husband was still sleeping peacefully on the right side of the bed, appearing as gorgeous as always. He admired him for a brief moment before he got hold of his cellphone, which rested on top of his nightstand. 

Before he left his eyes returned to Taemin’s figure and he wanted to sigh. It was so tempting to move closer and scope the younger into his arms. Hug him, kiss him, tell him how sorry he was and how much he loved him. Kibum wanted to do that more than anything, but he knew this yearned for something bigger. He couldn’t ever make things up to the younger, but he needed to try.

“Jonghyun, it’s me. Listen—“ 

Kibum was quickly interrupted by his frantic friend on the other line, asking him if he knew who he was. It made him roll his eyes, since he really didn’t have time for this, he had something important to plan and needed to do so fast and without his husband's knowledge. 

”You don’t need to explain anything, alright. This isn’t like my other calls, when I don’t know who Taemin is or where I am. I think I remember everything.”

There was a brief moment of complete silence and then Jonghyun’s surprised and unsure voice could be heard. 

"Everything?" He asked in hesitation and Kibum formed a small sad smile. 

“I think so but at the very least, I remember him. I remember Taemin, my Taemin. This might be temporary again so I need to make the most of it. I already have a plan in mind but I need your help.” 

He smiled as his trustworthy friend immediately replied with the word ’anything’. 

When Taemin woke up the other side of the king-sized bed was empty but it wasn’t anything new. 

“Kibum?”

He emitted his usual sigh and got up to find where his husband had wandered off to this time, starting with the closet, followed by the living room bathroom and lastly, the kitchen. But they were all empty and it worried him. 

He couldn’t have left, could he? 

He bit his lower lip hard and called for his husband again while searching the condo a bit more thoroughly.
 

In the end he went back to their bedroom and that’s when he noticed it, tucked slightly under the lamp on the nightstand. 

It was a white envelope with a piece of paper inside that he carefully took out to read. 

Taemin. 

I remember which school I went to. 

Come find me. Third floor, left corridor. 

/Kibum 

Taemin didn’t have time to think twice about the note or the fact that his husband had never left him anything like it before.

When he realized Kibum had actually left the condo by himself, possibly with no recollection of anything, he felt desperate to find him as soon as possible.

After pulling on the first pair of jeans and hoodie he could find he rushed out to his car and drove off. 

The first stop was their university, where he spent the years of his late teens and early twenties, a period that had been rocky but also incredible thanks to one single person. 

Since it was a Saturday morning school was rather empty. Students did come there to study but most of them seated themselves in the library on the first floor, leaving any level above that dull and empty. 

Taemin brought the note, staring at it as he made his way to the third floor, left corridor, precisely as it said. He walked inside but quickly came to a halt. The familiar face he was met by both surprised and confused him. 

“Jinki hyung?” 

His older friend by a couple of years sent him his signature smile. “You made it.” 

Taemin didn’t e