August. Pinaka-ayaw kong buwan sa lahat. Bukod sa marami akong bagay na gustong kalimutan na nangyari sa buwan ng Agosto, ito pa ang isang kalaban ko– ulan.

I can't even remember since when did I started hating rains, where in fact, I really do loved it noong bata pa ako. Pag kasi may ulan: kadikit agad 'yung mga katagang “walang pasok,” which is gustong-gusto ko as a kid dahil puwedeng puwede akong matulog pa ulit o tumutok na sa TV para manuod ng cartoons sa umaga (tapos ipagtitimpla ako ni Daddy ng hot chocolate na may tatlong malaking marshmallows), puwede rin akong magtampisaw at maglaro sa bakuran namin while riding my bike while he's just there, watching me in awe. Tapos, at the end of the day, I will find myself settled under the covers while my dad reads my favorite bed-time story beside me. It was him who puts me to sleep on days like this dahil laging galit si mommy sa akin kasi nga lagi akong naliligo when it rains.

But he always reassures me with the words– “as long as I'm here, you have nothing to be afraid of, Seungwan. I'll protect you when it rains, I'll protect you from the storm.”

Ah, good old days.

But maybe, just like the seasons, things change.

One rainy night, my mom received a call and she was just frantic. As a kid, I couldn't really understand what was happening but I definitely sensed that something's wrong.

She went out of the house the same night and I was left in my Lola's care.

The next morning, It was only her who showed up at the front door of the house when I opened it.

“Mommy, si Daddy po?” I asked, still clueless, “he promised me we'll go get Barney CDs when he gets home. Where is he?”

My mom only told me that my dad extended his stay kung nasaan man siya. Sabi pa niya na it will take him long before coming back home.

So I waited.

Everyday, I will just find myself na nakaupo kaharap 'yung pintuan namin. Hoping na siya na 'yung susunod na kakatok, siya na 'yung papasok tapos dala-dala niya 'yung mga favorite kong CDs from Video City.

But he never returned.

“I told you to use your umbrella, Wannie! Lagot na naman tayo sa mommy mo,” he tried hard to sound like he's mad but obviously failed because I can really see him smiling.

“But you'll protect me, right?” From the mom's scolding, from the rain, from the storm… from everything.

“Always. Always, for my princess.”

“Uh, miss? Pwede bang tumabi?” A voice interrupted me from my train of thoughts. Geez, matagal ba akong nag-space out?

I looked at her. She's drenched from the rain and her hair was messy. Bumaling naman din ako sa malawak na space na meron pa sa shed kung nasaan kami ngayon, “Ang dami pang space, bakit ka pa nag-papaalam?”

“Eh, naaanggihan kasi 'yung part na 'yon tapos dito banda sa'yo wala,” she said while scratching the back of her head, “Baka isipin mo namang masamang tao ako kung tatabihan kita bigla.”

I just nodded. Wala akong energy na makipag-usap ngayon lalo na sa hindi ko kilala. Binaling ko na lang 'yung tingin ko sa mga dumadaang sasakyan nang magsalita ulit siya.

“Ang lalim yata ng iniisip mo. Mukhang 'di mo rin agad ako napansin,” tinignan ko siya only to find out that she's already looking at me. Tinatantya siguro kung okay pa bang magpatuloy, “okay ka lang?”

“I'm fine, stranger. Thanks for asking,” sagot ko na lang.

“Joy,” she said out of the blue. Siguro nasense niya 'yung confusion sa mukha ko kaya natawa siya, “Joy pangalan ko. Ayan, hindi na ako stranger.”

“Wendy.”

“Wendy as in, Wendy?”

“My real name is Seungwan,” I clarified, "my friends just call me Wendy," I paused, “and I believe that there's no Joy in rains.”

“Grabe ka naman,” she chuckled, “sige, simula ngayon, babaguhin ko 'yang pananaw mo.” She said with so much passion. It's my turn to laugh.

“And how exactly will you do that?” I asked, amazed.

“Simple lang,“  she looked at me again, “ngayon pa nga lang napatawa na kita eh.”

“We'll see about that.”

“Okay, ganto,” she faced me, para siyang bata na naghahamon, “nagpapatila ka lang ba?”

“Yes, I forgot my umbrella sa uni.”

“Give me your time hanggang tumila 'yung ulan,” she paused, her fingers were positioned on her chin na para bang nag-iisip, “pag na-enjoy mo company ko, panalo ako.”

“Eh kapag hindi, anong akin?”

”'Di pa kasi ako tapos, Wannie.”

I got shocked for a moment, "Wannie?"

"Seungwan? Wannie? Ang cute kaya!"

“Okay, if you win, then what?”

“Edi hindi mo na kami hate ng ulan! Tapos…” parang nag-alinlangan siyang ituloy.

“Ang tagal, ano nga?”

“Samahan mo ko kumain. Gutom na ko eh.”

“What makes you think na sasamahan kita? I barely know you,” I told her. Her guts was just too amusing.

“Uy, harmless ako! Promise.”

I shrugged. Mukhang matatagalan pa bago tumila 'yung ulan.

//

“Eh ang dami kayang positive na dulot 'yung rain!” She exclaimed, para talagang batang nagbibida sa recit, “ikaw ba, never ka bang natuwa kapag nagsuspend?”

“Natutuwa. Pero ang babaw nun, 'di siya counted.”

“Eto,” parang pinag-isipan niya nang maigi 'yung susunod niyang sasabihin, “Farmers see the rain as blessings. Kung walang ulan, wala silang patubig, hindi mabubuhay 'yung mga tanim nila. Wala silang aanihin. Oha!”

“Okay, aware ako ron, pero hindi ba ulan din mismo 'yung sumisira sa kabuhayan nila?”

“Ang pessimist mo kamo, Wannie,” nagkamot siya ng ulo, “Eto, last na. Ewan ko na talaga, baka kumain na lang ako mag-isa.” She joked.

“Shoot,” paghahamon ko.

“Rains can mean new beginnings,” she started. She even shifted on her seat, parang seryosong-seryoso talaga, “'Wag kang magfocus sa negatives, sa past. Paano ka magsisimula ulit kung hinahayaan mo 'yung sarili mong malunod sa ulan na na-experience mo? Allow yourself to be happy again.” She says, looking at me this time, “the rain is just the sky crying. Telling us na it's okay to grieve, be sad or cry for a moment pero it eventually stops din, 'di ba?" She paused, "and doon lilitaw 'yung rainbow after the rain, sabi ng South Border.”

It made sense. It all made sense.

“Looks like you scored yourself a company then.”

“Weh? Sasama ka? Sasamahan mo ko?” Nanlaki pa 'yung mga mata niya na parang gulat na gulat talaga sa sinabi ko. She really is a 12-year-old kid stuck inside an adult's body.

“Basta libre mo,” I said, now smiling at her, “Let's go bago pa magbago isip ko at lumakas ulit 'to.”

“Okay, tara na. Hindi ka magsisisi sa desisyon mo,” She said grabbing my hand as we started running across the streets na may ambon-ambon pa.

Baka nga hindi ako magsisi.

Siguro nga tama siya.

Rains are new beginnings.

There is joy in every rain we experience.

I smiled to myself.

And the joy in rains can be really unpredictable too.

I looked up to the sky and whispered–

“I'm sorry it took me too long to realize. From now on, in every rain, I will remember you. For you are the one who first taught me that there's joy when it rains. Always, dad. Always.”