YOU

 

One of the major misconception of people around you is that they think that being English Literature major is easy. That English Literature is all about reading and writing, interpreting poems and novels. But no, literature is a lot more that, it’s an art. An underestimated art to be exact. The way people look down at you just because you chose a course that is not related to science is, infuriating. You never really mind it at first, you are so inlove with the idea of having the chance to do what you love and gain a degree out of it, and it thrilled you.

 

Not until your Physics teacher asked you during one of your class, just days before your high school graduation.

 

“What major are you planning to take, Kim?” your teacher asked

 

“English Literature, Sir” you answered without any hesitation

 

And you can still remember how he laughed when he heard your answer. You were utterly confused that time wondering why a teacher would laugh at his student’s dream

 

“What’s so funny, Sir?” you find yourself asking

 

“Oh! it’s just that you’ll never get a real job with that major” he answered waving his hand at your direction

 

 

You heard some of your classmates snickered at what your teacher said and it made your blood boil. You are just about to answer when your teacher spoke again

 

 

“You’re a brilliant student, Kim” He said gathering his things from his table “Try considering majors that are worth your wit” he said with a shrug

 

“I think English is worthy, Sir” you answered clenching your hands at your side

 

“It’s such a shame then” He said before exciting the room

 

 

That was the first time you got so angry that you nearly throw your hand at your teacher. Then you got into the university and maybe, maybe you should be thankful for your teacher’s tactless comment. His comment somehow opened your eyes just a little bit on how majority of people look down at English majors. You cannot believe just how difficult it is to fight the stigma. You are already in your senior year and you will never get used on the looks that some students throws at you.

Especially at events like this, being the first day of the academic year it means another day of giving out flyers and encouraging students to join the Writer’s Org. For English Literature major you honestly think that the name of your organization is way too lame. You cannot help but shake your head on how generic the name is, whoever might have thought of that name must have run out of creativity, because of reading and analyzing books too much.

 

 

“Hi, want to join the Writer’s Org?’ you ask with a smile, giving out a flyer to someone who passed by

 

“Err... no thanks” the student said walking away

 

 

You’ve been giving out flyers for an hour now and no one, as in no one have accepted your invitation. You are starting to get tired of it if you are being honest with yourself.

 

 

“What are you selling, Kim?”

 

Turning your head towards the direction of the voice, you saw Ahn Yujin jogging towards your direction. Her annoying smile plastered on her face, you immediately rolled your eyes at the sight of her.

 

 

“The track team,” you countered when she passed in front of you “You can have it cheap!” you shouted so she can hear you

 

 

Yujin turned her head to look back at you and laughed, before running again towards the direction of the field

 

 

“Idiot” you grumbled, annoyed that Ahn Yujin managed to get into your nerves yet again

 

 

You walked back to your org’s booth to get your bag, you had enough of social interaction today. Maybe, if you didn’t had that short encounter with Yujin, you can stay a bit longer but that annoying girl always manage the the energy out from your system.

 

 

“Leaving already?” Chaewon said when she saw you

 

Kim Chaewon, your best friend since high school. The Architecture student whom you managed to persuade into joining the Writer’s Org.

 

“I’m done for today, Chae” You simply replied

 

“I saw Yujin passed by,” She commented “I guess that explains why you are already leaving” she added, there’s a hint of teasing in her voice

 

 

And you are not wrong, you looked at her and she has this teasing smile on her face, you just rolled your eyes at her and Chaewon laughed in return

 

 

“Your love-hate relationship with Yujin… is really something” she continued, still teasing you

 

“There’s no love in there Chae,” you replied gathering your books in your arms “only hate” you added throwing a glance at her before leaving

 

“Whatever you say, Kim” Chaewon said chuckling “Take care~”

 

 

 

You just waved your hand and walked towards the exit gate, shaking your head at what Chaewon said, ‘love-hate relationship’ isn’t the best word that can be used to describe your relationship with Yujin. It’s all just hate, you are dead sure there’s no love in it.

 

It actually started during your freshman year, when you and Yujin shared a class together. She got her grammar wrong while answering a question and you unintentionally corrected her. You are not even planning to correct her, the words are out of your mouth before you can even think about it. You remember how Yujin glared at you the moment you corrected her. As it turns it she got offended and thought that you did it on purpose to humiliate her.

 

Though in your defense it was never your intention, you tried to apologize and explain it to her but well, she didn’t believed you. That’s how your never ending banters started, but it is Yujin who teases you a lot. She always have something to say about you and it annoys you. But the thing is, unlike the teasing and insult from other students, Yujin’s are harmless she never poke fun at your major or your looks, but that doesn’t mean that her teasing doesn’t get into your nerves.

 

The funny thing is, you can always ignore it if the other students says backhanded comments about you and your major but when it’s Yujin, just seeing her face irritates you. There are times that you will catch her staring at you, and when you ask what she want she will simply answer: “Just trying to think of another way to ruin your day, Kim” followed by her annoying smile. You think maybe it’s the way how she delivers her remarks that gets you, she’s confident and she carries herself well. Always ending her comments with her annoying smile, it’s infuriating.

 

Your thoughts of Yujin got cut off when a passing car blow its horn so loud that you literally jumped out of surprise. You glance down at your wrist and checked the time, it’s 5:30pm, and you still have time before your shifts starts. You are working as part timer on a cafe few blocks from you apartment and from the university.

 

One of the cons of pursuing English Literature as your major is the lack of support from your family. Your father wants you to pursue Medicine while your Mom who wants you to be an Engineer.  Then there’s you, who chose to pursue what your heart wants and what your passion is. Costing you to move out of your parents’ house and live alone supporting yourself, your parents still pays for your tuition though. Plus Eunbi, your sister gives you monthly allowance, so it wasn’t that hard for you.

 

But on the pro side you got to live alone and learned how to be independent, so it isn’t that bad at all. Besides, working on a café gives you the chance to watch and observe people, how they spent their time alone. You got to see their faces when they are with their love ones. It gives you ideas and boost your creativity whenever you need to write a story. It is actually inspiring to watch other people during your shift.

 

+++

 

With your busy schedule and never ending reading, you didn’t even notice just how a month passed already. You’ve been preoccupied with all the requirements you had to do. Another con of being Literature Major is the amount of reading you had to do every week. Yeah, reading is fun it brings you to the other realm but sometimes it’s just too much.  

 

Even now while you are at your shift you are still thinking about the book analysis that you need to pass tomorrow morning. Thankfully there’s no customer right now, maybe because it’s already half past nine. Busy thinking while scribbling on the table napkin, you didn’t notice that someone is standing in front of the counter just across you. It was until when the person cleared , that you looked up and immediately regret it.

 

 

“What can I get you?” you said sounding unenthusiastic as you stood straight and face her

 

 

Yujin, the costumer who interrupt your planning time, surprisingly didn’t comment about it. She is busy looking at the menu board just above your head. You got the chance to properly look at her, she’s wearing track pants and a blue hoodie, her hair pulled into ponytail seems like she’s out for a walk or maybe run. You can’t deny that ponytail looks good on her and her blue hoodie suits her but you’re not going to say it or admit it aloud.

 

 

“One burger and Hazelnut Latte please,” she said after few minutes

 

 

You momentarily stared at her when you heard her say please, she sound so polite that you are starting to wonder if this is really Ahn Yujin you know or maybe someone who looks just exactly like her. You scribbled down her order, despite working here for years you still find it odd that burger is included in the menu. Burger and coffee doesn’t go well together, you can’t even imagine why your boss thought that adding burger is a good idea. But maybe Yujin and your boss have the same taste. Disgusting taste to be exact.

 

 

“Onions?” you looked up, asking her if she wants to add onions on her burger

 

“Yes please,” she said tapping her fingers on the counter top “on the Latte” added with a snort as she pays for her order

 

 

You immediately glared at her while she just laughed at your reaction. Now, you are sure that this is indeed Ahn Yujin. She’s still laughing when she turns toward the table at the far corner of the café beside the glass wall.

 

After few minutes her order is ready, you are about to called out her name but when you look towards her direction you saw her gazing outside the glass wall, there’s a melancholy in her eyes. So you took the tray and brought it to her table, she’s the only customer here right now and besides you have nothing else to do.

 

 

“Here’s your order,” you said putting down the tray on her table

 

 

Yujin turned her eyes to you and for a split second, you can clearly see the sadness in her eyes but then you blink and it’s gone, replaced by the usual playfulness that you are familiar with

 

 

“I thought this café is self-service” she said a playful smile forming on her lips

 

 

You have known her and bantered with her for years, to the point that now you certain what that smile meant. A snide remark will surely follow suit and again, you are not wrong.

 

 

“I didn’t know I am that special for you, Kim” Yujin said sipping at her latte

 

“Well, you seem really fascinated with our glass wall that I decided not to interrupt you,” you said nonchalantly, and you notice how Yujin momentarily stopped from sipping on her drink “We’re closing in an hour. Enjoy your meal, Yujin” you said before walking back towards your station

 

 

You can hear Yujin coughing at what you said, but you have no idea why. You aren’t really sure if having Yujin as the only customer inside the café right now, is a good thing or a bad thing. Good thing because it means you wouldn’t be that tired at the end of your shift and bad thing because you find yourself looking at her direction and staring at her more often that you should.

You cannot help yourself but admire how her clothes suits her and it annoys you at the same time, because she’s wearing a simple hoodie yet she looks so attractive. But then you realized, Yujin always looks good, she is effortlessly pretty. You might hate her guts but you know how to appreciate someone’s beauty and Yujin isn’t an exception, despite the look on her face right now.

There’s something about the look on her face that makes you wonder, wonder if you ever really know her. The melancholy in her eyes, as she swirls the straw of her drink mindlessly. And the way she is slump on her seat, makes you want to go and sit with her, ask her what’s wrong. You’ve been so used to playful Yujin that seeing her with that expression makes you uncomfortable.

 

Ten minutes before the closing time, Yujin finally stood up from her seat. You thought she’s already going to leave but she stopped in front of the counter where you are standing, her hands inside the pocket of her hoodie and her eyes fixated on you. You just clueless stared at her, then she took a sigh and opened to speak.

 

 

“Have a goodnight, Minjoo” she said with a genuine smile before walking away not even waiting your reply, though you are not really sure how or what you should reply to her. Yujin’s genuine smile caught you off guard that you stood there for god knows how long, it was until your boss tapped your shoulder that you recovered from her smile.

 

 

“Time to go home, Minjoo-ya” Mr. Lee said

 

You snapped out of your trance and nodded. You went to your locker room, changing into your casual clothes and went home. You are already inside your room, lying down on your bed planning to sleep when you recalled Yujin’s smile as she bid you goodnight earlier. It was the first time you saw that smile of hers, you realized that you like Yujin’s genuine smile more than her usual playful smile. It was out of the blue, but you fell asleep with the thought that you want to be the receiving end of that smile again.

 

+++

 

It's already late and you are walking back to your apartment. Your shift just ended, a very tiring shift you must say. You have an early class tomorrow and you badly want to lie down on your bed and sleep. You are walking with your head down, your eyes focus on the pavement. Then you looked up and immediately stopped on your tracks when you saw Yujin sitting at the bench beside the sidewalk.

 

You remember how your perception of her change a bit after that night at the café just few days ago. Only for it to go back to what it used to be, because the very next morning Yujin is back into her annoying self, getting into your nerves and ruining your day. You think that maybe that night on the café where she looks so vulnerable and give you a genuine smile is just a dream, a fever dream.

 

You are too tired to deal with her and her teasing right now, so you checked if the road is clear and immediately crossed it to avoid her. Walking briskly hoping she will not see you but maybe it was a wrong decision because you heard her calling your name from the other side of the street.

 

"Hey, Kim Minjoo~" she said causing for the other people to stop and look at her but you didn't, you act as if you didn't heard her


"Miss Kim~" she shouted again

 

This time you stopped, took an annoyed breathe and turned towards her direction because you are starting to get embarrass of her actions

 

"Are you speaking to me?" you said sounding indifferent


"You’re the only Kim Minjoo here," she replied sipping her beer, you didn't realize that she's drinking right now at the sidewalk, at the middle of the night when you are sure that you both have your classes tomorrow "So yeah, I am talking to you" she added with a lopsided smile


"What do you want, Ahn?" you said shifting your weight on your legs, you've been standing at the cafe for hours and your legs hurts, plus the fact that you are carrying 3 large books. You badly want to sit or to just at least let your legs rest even for a moment

 

Yujin didn't answer immediately, she just watch you then she smiled again, her dimples showing

 

"You know, it isn't safe for a pretty girl like you to walk alone this late at night"

 

You raised your brow at what she said

"Did you just call me pretty?" you can't help but ask


Yujin burst into fit of laughter the moment those words are out of your mouth


"You really focused on that part rather on the part where I told you it isn't safe to walk alone, huh?" she replied still laughing "But yeah, I called you pretty, what about it?" she added with a shrug

 

You bit the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from smiling at her. You narrowed your eyes as you remind yourself that this is Ahn Yujin, the annoying track team member who likes to tease you.


"You want a beer?" She shouted holding a can of beer towards your direction when you remained silent


"I don't drink," you replied shifting the books in your arms “I think you’re drunk”


"Oh! I’m not, just a little tipsy" she said still holding out the can of beer "Come on, just a sip, Kim " she shouted again when you remained standing from the other side of the street, grinning widely at you
 

You sighed and crossed the street, not to accept her offer but because you are curious, curious on what she is doing here at this time of the night. You stood in front of her and she's eyeing you then her eyes shifted towards the books in your arms.
 

"Why do you carry your books with you all the time?" she ask her brows furrowed


"Is that what I crossed the road for?" you ask raising your brow


She chuckled and take a sip from her beer


"Why are you drinking?" you asked curiously "Don’t you have class tomorrow?"


"I am celebrating," She simply replied, shrugging her shoulder “and I have, 7am in fact”


“7 am and you are here drinking, wow” you replied shaking your head in disbelief "What is there to celebrate for?" you ask again

 

Yujin looked up and your eyes met, you've known her since freshman year but you think this is the first time you see that look in her eyes, there's something in her eyes that pulls you. A natural sparkle in her eyes that got you momentarily lost with her stare.

"I managed to make you cross the street" she replied smiling once again

 

As if on cue the corner of your lips slowly curled up, and Yujin smiled widely when she saw your reaction


"Now, I manage to make you smile" she said once again "Another reason to celebrate" she added before taking another sip from her beer


You laughed wholeheartedly at what she said, because you seriously find it funny. Then, you looked at her and she's staring at you her hands still holding the beer mid-air


"What?" you said still chuckling


"You are beautiful when you laugh," she answered, her voice soft yet deep

 

There's a seriousness in the way she said those words that made your heart beat faster than it should, plus the way she looks at you. You felt the heat creeping from the base of your neck up to your cheeks. You took gulp and look away from her, biting your lower lip. Asking yourself why you suddenly felt weird.

 

"Here," you heard Yujin said

 

You turned your eyes back to her and she's holding an unopened can of beer. You seriously don't drink but you took it and opened it. Downing a big gulp
 

"Hey, easy" Yujin said holding your arm to stop you from drinking the beer in one go

 

She's standing close in front of you, maybe a little bit too close because you can clearly see the tinge of redness on her cheeks despite the dark. Yujin is tall, about few inches taller than you and now she's looking down at you, there's a hint of playfulness on her lips. But her eyes, her eyes is shining with something you cannot describe, pulling you once again.
 

"Why do you keep smiling all the time?" You found yourself asking, you voice softer than you intend it to be

Yujin's eyes widen at you question


"I don't" she denied immediately, as she tries to keep a straight face but slowly a smile cracks on her face, making you smile at her
 

"Oh god," Yujin said biting her lower lip trying to suppress the smile that she can't seem to erase on her face "Seriously, I do not smile all the time" she denied once again, stepping back and covering her face, she even turned around to hide her smile.

 

This made you smile even wider. You find it cute that she's trying so hard to keep herself from smiling yet she's failing miserably. It's a sight to see, yes Yujin is the playful type of student, but this Yujin seems natural like she's being herself and strangely you find it adorable.

 

"You're adorable when you smile like that," the words are once again out of your mouth before you can even stop yourself

Yujin turn around to face you, too fast that she nearly tripped


"Carefully," You said holding her arm to stop her from falling


"What?" she ask standing up straight


"You already heard, Yujin" you shrugged not wanting to repeat what you said

"Just want to make sure that you really said that I am adorable”

 

“I said your smile is, not you” you countered rolling your eyes at her

 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” she asking tilting her head, a teasing smile plastered on her face

 

“No, it’s not”

 

Yujin chuckled and stand up straight, looking directly into your eyes

 

“Yours is pretty," She said putting her hand inside the pocket of her track pants "You should smile more, it suits you" she added with a smile.


You instinctively bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling again, you’ve been smiling too much at her that you find it weird. You narrowed your eyes at her wondering what got into her tonight, Yujin normally comments about you and your books but now she’s acting different, you think that maybe it’s the alcohol talking. 

 

"It's getting late," you said with a curt nod "Thanks for the beer, Goodnight"

Yujin nodded, her smile still plastered on her face. You turn around to leave but stopped when Yujin spoke again.

"It's going to rain tomorrow," she said, you turned to look at her and she still standing there her hands still inside the pocket of her track pants and you wonder how can she be so attractive wearing a simple T-shirt and track pants "Make sure to bring an umbrella" she added


You raised your brow at what she said but she just smiled


"Goodnight, Kim. See you tomorrow" she said with a smile.


You nodded and walked away, wondering what got into Ahn Yujin tonight.

 

+++


It turns out Yujin was right all along. Heavy rain is pouring and you scold yourself for not bringing your umbrella. You were running late this morning the reason why you forgot some of your things and that includes your precious umbrella. You checked the time and your shift at the café will start in 15 minutes. You can't be late or else Mr. Lee will surely fire you. You contemplated for a few moments and took a deep breath.

 

Putting your books inside your bag and looked up at the sky, hoping that the rain will suddenly stop, but no it did not. Clicking your tongue, you took another sigh, you are about to run under the heavy rain when someone pulled you back. Causing you to bump into the person behind you. You turned around to apologize to the other person, but you are welcomed by Yujin's sparkling eyes, looking intently at you her brows furrowed.

 

Your eyes darted toward her side and now you know why you got pulled back or maybe who pulled you back. It turns out it was Yujin, she's still holding the strap of your backpack.

 

 

“You know,” she started still looking intently at you “the level of your confidence is still beyond me” she added letting go of your bag’s strap

 

“What?” you ask as you take a step back because you two are standing too close from each other, too close for your liking

 

“Do you think you are waterproof?” Yujin asks raising her brow

 

“I don’t understand what you are on about, Ahn” you replied irritated that she keeps on beating under the bush “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go” You added turning your back at her

 

“It’s still raining, Kim”

 

“I’m not blind, I can clearly see it” you retorted, annoyed

 

“I didn’t say you’re blind,” she snickered at you “Dumb, maybe”

 

You turned and glared at her but she just smirked

 

“How dare you- “

 

“Dumb enough to battle this heavy rain and get yourself drench just so you wouldn’t be late on your part time job, not thinking that once you get sick, you’ll have no choice but to absent on both your class and that part time job of yours” she said continuously glaring at you

 

There’s hint of anger on her voice like she’s angry at you when you didn’t even do anything to upset her and well, you can clearly see it in her eyes, it confuses you. You are about to open your mouth and retort at her when she pulled something from inside her coat, she threw it towards your direction and despite your clumsiness you manage to catch it

 

“Atleast you know how to catch,” she scoffs “Use that and stop acting like you are waterproof or something, Kim” she added turning her back at you

 

 

You clutch the umbrella that she tossed towards you, you felt thankful but also guilty because it’s still raining and she gave you her umbrella and now Yujin is leaving, she may be annoying but if she ever gets sick, you’ll surely blame yourself for it

 

 

“How about you?” you ask genuinely concern about her

 

Yujin stop from her tracks and turned her body slightly to look at you

 

“I have mine,” she added waving an unopened umbrella in her hand “I know that you’re too stubborn to believe what I said last night so I brought a spare” she added winking at you

 

 

Yujin didn’t wait for you to react, she opens her umbrella and walk coolly towards the parking lot while you stood rooted in your place wondering just how fast Yujin’s mood changes. One minute she’s grumpy then all of a sudden her mood shifted and she’s being her annoying self again. You think that you like the tipsy Ahn Yujin than the sober one.

 

You looked down at the umbrella she gave, you are utterly confused on why she would bring a spare umbrella for you but there’s fluttering feeling inside your stomach that made you smile to yourself. That fluttering feeling was short lived though, your moment is cut off by the ringing from your phone, and when you checked the ID it was the café manager, you mentally slap yourself because you are late once again.

 

After five hours, your shift ended and as expected you got scolded for being late again. You tried to reason out that it’s raining hard and you had a hard time because of it but your Mr. Lee didn’t bought it. On the brighter side he didn’t fire you, so you still have a job but then just after your shifted ended you got another round of scolding.

 

It lasted for atleast an hour, the reason why it’s almost midnight yet you are still here walking alone back to your apartment. You are walking with your head down, tired and sleepy not really paying any attention your surroundings. You can’t wait to get back home and sleep. Good thing, its weekend tomorrow so you wouldn’t have to wake up early in the morning, you’ll finally get the rest that you have been asking for.

 

 

“You’re late,” someone suddenly said out of nowhere

 

You lazily looked up and met eyes with Yujin, you are too startled that you jumped from your position, placing your hand over your chest

 

“You startled me,” you said calming yourself

 

Looking around, you realize that you are already on your apartment building. You didn’t even notice that you already arrived.

 

“I can see that,” she replied nonchalantly leaning at the column of the building “You’re one hour late, Kim” she said again glancing at her watch

 

 

You raised your brow at her, she’s eyeing you intently, the usual playfulness on her eyes is gone instead there’s something in it that you cannot decipher, like a mixture of annoyance and concern.

 

 

“Late from what exactly?” you ask your brows furrowed “Wait,” you said, when a thought crossed your mind but it’s impossible, nevertheless you still asked her “Were you waiting for me?”

 

Again, Yujin just look intently at you before rolling her eyes, her hands still crossed in front of her

 

 

“What if I am?” she said standing straight, her face serious

 

It took you a good five seconds before realizing what she just said

 

“What?” you said you mouth slightly agape

 

Yujin looked away from you and took a deep sigh

 

“I want my umbrella back,” she said looking back at you, she took a step closer to you, her right hand stretched out while her other hand is inside her pocket

 

You scoff and hand out her umbrella

 

“Thank you,” you said “You waited here for an hour just to get your umbrella, I can’t believe just how your brain works” you said shaking your head

 

“You bet I have a brain,” she said chuckling at her own joke “I like this umbrella, I want to keep everything that I love close to me, under my close supervision” she added looking down at you

 

You just looked at her, puzzled on what the hell is she talking about

 

“You’re weird” you simply said

 

“So I’ve been told,” she shrugged “You should go inside” she added gesturing you to enter the building

 

“What if I don’t want to?” you answered to test her, crossing your arms in front of you

 

“Then,” she said taking another step towards you, you immediately step back out of reflex “Sleep here, outside in the cold. You stubborn lady” she snickered flicking your forehead before walking pass you

 

“Ow!” you said turning to look at her

 

“Get inside, Minjoo. It’s late,” she said walking straight towards her car not bothering to look back “Goodnight” she added, saluting at you before getting inside her car

 

You just shake your head and watched her car disappear from the distance before walking inside your building.

 

+++

 

You and Yujin are not friends you are sure of that. If anything, people close to you sees the two of you as enemies considering the amount of banter that they’ve witness since your freshman year. But it seems like something shifted or maybe the universe is glitching because oddly enough ever since that night where she offered you beer, you found yourself spending your time with her, and actually enjoying it.

 

You realized how different she is, she’s playful yet talks maturely. She can read the room, she knows when to be serious and when to joke around. It wasn’t a planned hangout or something, it just so happened that whenever you are walking back home from your shift, you always find her sitting at the very same bench just across your apartment building drinking beer.

 

“I thought, drinking is one of the forbidden things for track team members?” you ask sitting down on the space beside her

 

This is the fifth time this week that you have seen her drinking here.

 

“You are right about that, Kim” she said taking a sip from her beer “But I need it” she added cocking her head to your direction

 

“What for?”

 

“Courage,” she replied with a sigh, gazing distantly in front of her “I need it for courage and to loosen up”

 

You raised your brow at her answer

 

“The great Ahn Yujin, needing a beer for courage” you said with a teasing tone “What will your fans think once they discovered that TMI about you?”

 

You are watching her reaction and Yujin smiled at what you said. She’s smiling yet there’s that familiar melancholy in her eyes again that makes you curious

 

“They can think whatever they want to think,” Yujin answered after few moments “I cannot control their perception of me” she added

 

Yujin have always been the easy-going type and seeing her now, being this serious makes you uncomfortable, like the type of uncomfortable because you want to comfort her but you don’t know why exactly, you are not even friends. Just two people who seem to like the idea of sitting on a bench beside the road, at the middle of the night drinking beer and talking. It’s like you are talking to someone you do not know, not that you know the easy going Yujin that well.

 

“You know,” Yujin started breaking the silence, you looked up to her and she’s already looking at you “We are graduating this year” she continued

 

“I know that,” you nodded

 

Yujin chuckles at what you said though you aren’t really sure what is so funny about it

 

“Ofcourse, you do. You seem to know everything,” She said smiling “So, what’s your plan?” she asks

 

“After graduation?” you ask scrunching your brow

 

“No, tomorrow.” she deadpans

 

“Funny,” you answered rolling your eyes “I’m going to find a job and achieve my dreams” you answered confidently

 

“That’s it?” Yujin asks

 

“Yep,” you nodded pressing your lips together

 

“That’s really vague, you know” Yujin commented eyeing you “What is your dream then?” she asks once again, taking another sip from her beer

 

You thought for a moment before answering, confessing what you really want to do

 

“I want to live a life where I can impact other people,” you replied smiling to yourself “I want to write and inspire people, touch them with all my writings. I want to be someone who would give strength to others. I want my stories to be life encouraging and life changing. I want my stories to breathe into life” you said

 

 

That has been your dream ever since you read a certain story on an online platform, the reason why you took literature as your major. The author wrote so well that it inspired you. Writing is like giving a piece of yourself to your reader, communicating with them. You may have written different stories but all those stories are still you, bits of you and your experiences.

 

 

“That’s a beautiful dream” you heard Yujin said, her voice soft you turned to her and she’s looking at you her eyes has this soft look on it, akin to adoration and she’s smiling. Not her normal playful smile or her adorable and dimpled smile, but a sweet smile. So sweet that you can feel your inside melt, there’s a fluttering feeling inside your stomach.

 

“How about you?” you said softly trying to shove away the weird feeling inside you “What is your dream Yujin?” you asks shifting the conversation towards her

 

Yujin broke the eye contact and turned her eyes towards the road

 

“I have a lot of things I want to achieve,” she answered

 

“Well then,” you replied nodding your head “Tell me the thing that your heart desires the most” you added

 

Yujin turned to you, she seem a bit taken aback from what you said

 

“The thing… that my heart desires?” she repeated slowly, narrowing her eyes on you

 

You nodded and waited for her to answer. You are honestly curious on what does she wants the most. Yujin is the one of the most popular students in your campus, being one of the star player of the university’s track team. Her family is also well off, she always fools around with her friends and she seems to be living a very happy life. So, you wonder, what does the Ahn Yujin wants the most.

 

“Are you sure you want to hear it?” Yujin said after sometime

 

She’s looking at you, the right corner of her lips curled up but you can clearly see the uncertainty in her eyes

 

“I wouldn’t ask you if I don’t want to,” you shrugged

 

“You know, they said that some things are better left unsaid” Yujin answered still dodging your question

 

You turned to her and she’s smiling sadly at herself then she bit her lower lip bopping her head slightly like she’s agreeing to whatever her mind is saying

 

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to,” you said with a sigh finally giving up

 

You don’t want to pressure her on talking about something that makes her uncomfortable, you are not that type of person

 

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” she chuckles “More of, I’m scared. The thing… the thing that my heart desires the most frightens me” she added glancing at your direction

 

“Why?” you find yourself asking

 

“What my heart desires the most is too impossible to achieve, Minjoo” she answered softly “You see, I don’t even know why my heart desires it. Why I can’t get it off from my head, when I am very well aware that I can never achieve it. But then I want it so bad that just thinking about it, scares the hell out of me. I just know I will live a life full of regrets if I don’t try and achieve it” she continued looking straight to your eyes before giving out a soft smile

 

Yujin’s stare is so intense that you look away and took a gulp, she has an expressive eye and looking at her eyes takes your breath away, both figuratively and literally. You felt the intensity of her words, the intensity of her desire and you feel bad because it seems like she already gave up on it.

 

“Atleast go and try to achieve it before you give up on it” you find yourself saying after minutes of silence “It’s hard to live a life full of regrets and what ifs, Yujin. If you try and it didn’t work, then let go of that desire. Maybe it isn’t for you, sometimes no matter how much we try if it isn’t for you, it will never be yours” you continued turning your head towards her direction

 

“Atleast I tried?” she asks with a chuckle

 

“Yeah,” you nodded smiling at her “Atleast you tried” you added smiling encouragingly at her

 

You are a dreamer and seeing someone giving up on their dream without even trying makes you sad. Yujin is one of them, you want her to achieve what her heart desires the most.

 

“Your dream,” Yujin said breaking the silence that enveloped you “I am confident that you will achieve it” she continued looking at you

 

“What do you mean?” you curiously ask, scrunching your brow

 

Yujin smiled before turning her eyes back in front of her, watching the passing vehicles

 

“I just know,” she simply answered, smiling

 

You are about you asked her again but thought the better of it. Yujin looks like she’s done talking and it’s getting late, maybe it’s time for you to go home. You stood up and Yujin turned her eyes back at you.

 

“The thing that you want the most, don’t give up on it. Anything can be possible Yujin, you just need the will and courage.” you continued smiling encouragingly at her “So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible” you added quoting a line from a book you read

 

You are not expecting any reaction from Yujin but surprisingly she chuckled, seemingly amused of what you just said

 

“The Phantom Tollbooth,” she said the corner of her lips curling up a bit higher than the other one “Norton Juster” she added

 

“How?” you asked gaping at her

 

“I’ve read it,” Yujin replied smiling shyly

 

“You read?” you asked in disbelief

 

“I can read, Minjoo” Yujin frowns

 

You immediately shake your head chuckling at her reaction

 

“I mean, you read literature” you said looking straight at her, you’re bookworm self feels so happy knowing that Yujin also reads, it excites you

 

“Yeah, I love to read” she answered nonchalantly

 

You gaped at her once again, well Yujin is indeed full of surprises

 

“Well,” You said smiling genuinely at her “that’s a surprise”

 

“I am full of surprises, Minjoo” Yujin said smiling back at you “You better stay tuned” she added

 

“Duly noted,” you answered with a nod “Goodnight, Yujin” You said before walking towards your apartment.

 

+++

 

You are starting to think that Yujin, really likes the bench across your apartment building. Today is your day off from your part time job, so you took the chance to spend your time in the university library and finished your requirements. You are walking home, this time from the university so you came from the opposite direction of café, the reason why you didn’t saw her immediately.

 

You are just about to enter your apartment building when you notice her reflection from the glass door of the building. You think for a moment whether you will approach her or not, she’s sitting with her back against the direction of your apartment, so you are sure that she didn’t see you. You took a deep sigh and crossed the street, walking towards her.

 

 

“You are here again,” You said sitting beside her “You love this bench that much, huh?”

 

 

Yujin jump a little from her seat before turning to you, startled that you suddenly showed up

 

 

“You scared me,” she said

 

“I can see that” you smirked “So, why are you always here?”

 

Yujin didn’t answered immediately, she took a sigh and stretch her legs in front. Somehow her long legs gained your attention, you look down and noticed her untied shoelace, you smiled because you remember her telling that she cannot tie her shoelace. What a kid.

 

 

“I like it here,” she simply said “our house is too suffocating”

 

 

You notice how she used house instead of home

 

 

“Family issues”

 

 

“Yep,” Yujin answered turning her head towards you “Being the only child isn’t fun at all” she added with a sad smile

 

 

There’s a loneliness in her eyes that makes you want to know what have caused it

 

 

“Care to share?” you find yourself asking

 

 

“I bear a great responsibility that I doesn’t even want in the first place,” she answered after few beats of silence “There’s too much pressure that it suffocates me. So I go here, to breathe” she added

 

 

“Life can be like that sometimes” you said, mindlessly

 

You are not good at talks like this. Deep inside you want to comfort her but you don’t know how. Conversations like this makes you awkward and uncomfortable.

 

“Well, we can’t help it,” Yujin replied “So better to just it up” she added with her usual smile

 

Somehow that smile of hers doesn’t annoy you anymore, instead it makes you sad.

 

“Is that why you cried?” you ask cocking your head towards her

 

You notice it earlier, her red and puffy eyes plus her tears stained cheeks. She was crying before you arrived, explains why she got startled

 

“I’m not,” Yujin said trying deny it

 

“Yes, you are” you said in sing-song tone “What happened?”  You ask putting your hand on her shoulder, honestly concern about her

 

 

If this happened months ago you wouldn’t bat an eye but ever since you started talking here at this bench every night for weeks now, you somehow realize that there’s something really deep about Yujin. It’s like she’s a mystery you want to solve, like the annoying Yujin who likes to tease you at the university is just a façade, a front and the Yujin you talk to every night is the real Yujin.

 

 

“It’s nothing Minjoo” she replied giving you a small smile “I’m fine” she added

 

She put her hand on top of yours, squeezing it gently. You took a sigh and removed your hand from her shoulder, turning your head in front of you. Silence enveloped the two of you, you are used to silence but for a reason you can’t understand this silence makes you uncomfortable.

 

“Why did you cry then?” you finally ask, breaking the silence

 

 

“I was reading a book,” she said shyly “It was very well written, I got carried away while reading” she explained biting her lower lip

 

You chuckled upon hearing what she said

 

“It’s silly I know-” she said looking away from you

 

“No,” you said cutting her off “It’s cute.” you added the corner of your lips slowly curling up

 

“You’re the one who thinks crying because of a book is cute, Minjoo” Yujin said shaking her head but there’s an amuse smile in her