Half-baked, coming of age.

The first time, it is Hyukjae, a practical and skeptical Hyukjae. His lover of three years, few years older than Taemin. Realistically speaking his friends disagree, Hyukjae is the least ten years his senior or whatever. Age-gap has never been a great deal for Taemin, okay, maybe he has a little kink for older men, but that does not mean it is illegal for Hyukjae to date someone who completely reaches adulthood, someone who is consciously aware of all the decision he is able to make. So why does he have to give a damn of what these two gremlins have to say about his love life?

Krystal hearsay’s of the big bad boy does not matter. On the other hand, Kibum had warned him once (a shocking statement that really bothers him up until this moment) that he and Hyukjae had met in a hooking up application exclusively made for gay men before and it turned pretty awkward, like creepily awkward for them. Hyukjae admits the event indeed took place, but does not remember much, which turns everything undoubtedly worse for Taemin. Taemin sends Kibum a threatening glare about the whole ordeal, and Kibum gulps cautiously as a response.

Truth to be told, he is far from possessive, but he can be extremely jealous of the past, and he figures it will be best for his friend and both of them to pretend the fling never exists. After all, it was way before the whole thing of him and Hyukjae happened, Taemin was just a freshman in college, innocent and closeted. But he had known Kibum then too, and Kibum had seen Hyukjae’s way before him, which is extremely disturbing. Oh god, he can’t escape exes, it seems. No, but Kibum is not an ex, he is just a one night stand, a cameo that happened overnight in Hyukjae’s ruthless and blurry life, he can’t imagine for the love of god to befriend his boyfriend’s ex. The world won’t allow it, and Taemin absolutely despises the idea of it.

Taemin sips his morning iced coffee from Chic-fil-A, the more of a gay stereotype Krystal chirps, and Taemin pays her no mind. He is scrolling into his phone, from a morning news he does not care about and a new update from his favorite band, trying to distract his clouded mind while waiting for Hyukjae’s plane to land and contemplates if it is the right time for him to go to his boyfriend house, once again, after what, almost two months of not seeing each other physically? The longing and stressful nights of being away from your lover are painful, and Taemin will trade it for anything in the world to have Hyukjae in his arms again.

The separation is inevitable, a process Hyukjae requires getting to where he is. It is not Taemin though, being in his last year, he is pretty much trapped in the city, and it will cost him his sanity to be able to travel or hang around as much as before. There are so many things to consider, transportation fees, his assignments, and overall, just life. He still can work it out though, if only Hyukjae is a compliant.

The bigger problem is his boyfriend, always away for work. Travelling, never ending-phone calls, arrangements, business dinners, adult parties, no, no, not that sort of adult party, Taemin will chop his off from his natural device before he dares to even step a foot in there, but the one where it is kind of mandatory for Hyukjae to attend, where he is supposed to meet clients and his possible future clients, as Hyukjae explained to him once after a make-out session, and it took them almost twenty minutes to undress. Until Taemin decided it was enough and shoved his hand to shut Hyukjae blabbering mouth. No work talk after curfew, he told Hyukjae to just him right there before he lost his libido. It works pretty much, although a lot of time it does not, but he is willing to make it through, after all, Hyukjae is his everything. First love, gay awakening, dream, anything in between.

It is partly because of Hyukjae he is not afraid to step out his comfort zone anymore, to not hide his true self in order to be happy and please anyone. Taemin brought Hyukjae to his family Christmas dinner just six months after they officially declared dating, surprising his catholic family. The problem with his mom apparently was not what he took in his , but rather their concerning . Well, the first stage of their relationship had been sour, and it did not stop just at that, few heated arguments and constant quarrels are their best friends now.

There is time where Taemin think they won’t make it, but Hyukjae has proven him wrong. Summer last year with flowers in his hands, after nineteen hours of exhausting trip from Luxembourg, Hyukjae made a surprising appearance in his doorstep. Taemin released a hysterical squeal then, waking everyone up in the house, before they drove to the beach with promises of forever.

And Kibum is pretty much convinced that this is the starting point of Taemin alarming daddy issues. He gets a kick in the shin for that.

“Eat your ing muffins Taemin, before I snag that away from your sight.” Krystal growls, eyeing him irritatingly from head to toe.

“You said you were on diet, just now. I have it on tape.” Taemin defends himself.

“Yeah, but I hate it more when people waste food. Note that, not everyone is as privileged, to have food on the table, cars to take you anywhere, friend to—“

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Taemin cuts Krystal off before she can go any further with the generous speech. His friend lately has been possessed with the urge of following a certain metamorphic lifestyle, of changing your energy and making use of the universe’s mega chakra. Probably a lesson she gets from her yoga class that costs few hundred dollars per session. The luxuries only rich people can afford, and she has the audacity to comment on his depression and lacks of gratitude.

Taemin loathes the need to be thankful to the universe or greater beings for nothing, despite his devoted catholic family.

“What’s up your ?”

“Not Hyukjae’s apparently.” Kibum replies.

He grunts, disturbed by Hyukjae’s certain body’s part being mentioned by someone who God willing, had it in his mouth before. “You don’t ever say anything about his .”

Kibum shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s not like I had fun with it before.”

“For Christ’s sake Kim Kibum!” He closes his eyes, screaming, disgusted by the idea and the uncontrollable imagery in his head.

“Please,” Kibum puts the glass of his diet coke on the table, he then sits cross-legged. “I don’t get why you still have a grudge on me sleeping with your boyfriend, emphasizing on the word three years and seven months ago. I didn’t know four months later you were going to have this wonderland committed relationship with him. If anything, I should be the one ting on my pants, you stole my possible sugar daddy away from me.”

Taemin spits on Kibum’s pants this time, and Kibum pushes him to the edge of the walls. Krystal hits her legs on the table, the three of them laughing like maniacs, clearly having fun of each other miseries, filling the half full room with their antics. They are getting kicked out few minutes later for creating a chaotic scene and causing a sleeping baby in the stroller to cry.

At least I have nothing.

In their way home, Taemin receives a text from his boyfriend, saying that he is at his apartment already, spent and jet-lagged, will prefer if Taemin come few hours later just to give him some time to nap. But it is not Taemin if he does not make his own rule, so he springs from his house, highly grateful that summer break has stopped him from nothing to put an end to this never-ending absence he feels for his boyfriend. Otherwise a drive from the dorm to Hyukjae’s apartment will cost him deadly. Uber is fantastic, but it needs more than he can pay for daily.

When Taemin shows himself in front of the door, Hyukjae looks like he only takes few minutes of sleeping, hair tousled, bared in his black boxer.

“I miss you!” Taemin lands him a peck on his cheek, and it gives him a weird strain in his chest when Hyukjae replies with an unenthusiastic grin. Hyukjae has not noticed his own frown yet, but it is a sign that Hyukjae does not even bother to hide his annoyance.

Annoyed by him? A boyfriend he has not seen for almost two months? Unacceptable by society’s moral.

“You don’t say it back.” Taemin’s looking at the floor, dejected.

“I miss you too.” Hyukjae smiles at him, a fake one he notices.

“Have you eaten? Should we order take out?” It is even more notable now that Hyukjae tries to untangle Taemin’s fingers from his waist.

“I’m full. We can order one for you.” Hyukjae ticks his nose, with that, he is gone. Leaving Taemin bewildered, hot with anger, and wet with tears.

That night, they have , plain and quick like they don’t mean to. It is a declaration of belonging for Taemin more than anything. They lie in silence for quite some time, until one of them have enough guts to speak. It is Hyukjae.

“I was thinking...”

“You were thinking?” Taemin rolls his body, legs hovering over Hyukjae’s lap.

“We’ve been unnecessarily fighting lately.“

“But we don’t fight today.” Taemin insists.

“No, today’s good. But...”

“But?” Taemin stares at him, stars in his eyes. On the other hand, Hyukjae looks like he is holding something in his chest.

“But that doesn’t mean we’re good.”

“I don’t follow?”

“Taemin, I don’t think this is okay. I’m talking about the argument last night.”

“That’s because you didn’t pick up your call.” Taemin retorts, defending himself. But if there is an honest explanation, well, Taemin has spotted something inappropriate. Taemin is following one of Hyukjae co-workers on instagram, the one that went to Costa Rica with him. However, he is not the problem. The problem was, Taemin saw something that made his head boiled with anger from the instagram stories. Hyukjae attended a casual pool party when he said it was just a formal business meeting, soon after, Taemin caught him getting too friendly with a brunette haired man. It didn’t take long for him to see green in his eyes. That was pretty much the cause of their messy facetime.

“Well, okay, it was not just because you didn’t pick up your call. Precisely, if I’m going to elaborate on that, we’re going be in another argument and that’s petty in my side.”

“Exactly! We can’t talk things out without you losing your !”

“Well, what do you wanna do about that? It was me who caught my boyfriend being in another man’s embrace looking so intimate. It was you who lied about the party. You should be thankful I didn’t push the matter further. I’m the mature one here.” Taemin digs towards his chest.

Hyukjae presses his forehead, trying to tame the pressure he feels. “I can’t talk to you right now, you’re too young to understand.”

At that, Taemin completely loses his patience. He gets up from the bed, furious. “Don’t bring up my age! I’m so sick of you treating me like a ing child because you always expect me to understand your job, your ups, and your lack of interest in me. Do you even love me enough Hyukjae?”

“I love you! But I do think we’re not good for each other anymore. All of this,” Hyukjae points out to the whole room with his hands, “is so destructive. I’m tired of being in arguments with you for every living second I’m awake of. Do we love each other? That’s should be the question you’re asking!”

“What?”

“All this negativity Taemin, this is affecting us! At this point I feel like we’re keeping up with each other because we’re scared of losing one another, not because this is what we really want to. I don’t want to hold you down, you’re still young, young enough to fool around with anyone who doesn’t have to worry about their career and taxes, and adulthood.” Hyukjae releases an exaggerated sigh, going up eye to eye in Taemin’s level.

“But I want us!”

“Alright, do you want honesty?”

Taemin eyes doubled, heart racing in an incredible speed. What’s with all this madness? “What are you keeping from me? Hyukjae, you’re scaring me. The ? Stop it.”

“I—I, I met someone.”

“God, for ’s sake, what are you playing?” Taemin refuses to face him, looking for an escape to the doorway, but Hyukjae holds his wrist tighter instead. “If this is a prank or whatever, I’m going to—I’m going to, !”

“It was in Costa Rica.”

Taemin is on the verge of his tears, but with the pride he has left, he does whatever he can to hold it. Not looking at Hyukjae’s pleading eyes works best so far for him. “The brunette guy?”

“Yes.”

Taemin releases his breath, shaking all over his body now. “So my intuition was right?” Taemin pushes Hyukjae away, the first attempt is not a success, so Taemin slaps his chest instead. Finally, Hyukjae loosens up the imprisoned wrist. “You’re such a . Do you know that? You’re the biggest on the planet, and don’t blame it on my age when you can’t keep your pants to yourself. You should be ing embarrassed to call yourself a man when you can’t even keep your promise. You bastard!”

“I won’t justify myself. It’s horrible, I know, I shouldn’t have done that to you, I don’t plan it to last either. I thought it was just a one night fling, an event I regret the next day, but it didn’t.”

“God, so not only you slept with another man, but you are in relationship with him behind my back?” When Hyukjae does not answer and lowers his eyes to the floor, Taemin receives a direct answer. “Oh, you’re ty liar! Does it make you feel wanted? To be able to play with my feelings and fool around with another man? Let me tell you one thing, you’re a ing ty bastard with a mental issue.”

“I’m sorry Taemin, I’m so ing sorry. I loved you, I love you, I don’t want to ruin you anymore than this. So I forced myself to choose, it’s not the matter of who is at fault, it’s me, I hurt you. I’m the one breaking your trust.”

“Save your speech for that man.”

Now Taemin has let himself to get hurt, to cry as much as he needs to feel better about himself. He is a trembling mess, and Hyukjae notices it too and tries to bring him to his embrace. But Taemin does not need pity any longer, especially from a man who has hurt him better than anyone else ever had. A man he trusted so much that he was willing to kill for him. A man his younger self had thought to be the one who would stay, and say ‘I love you’ until his last breath. A man Taemin had shared his first kiss, love, and . A man Taemin thought would last.

Today proves him wrong, Hyukjae is indeed just a man. Like all those s Kibum warned him about but too in love to take him seriously. Taemin meets his version of that man now, the one that hurts him a lifetime. Heartbreak feels like dying, and for once, Taemin wants Hyukjae to feel as horrible as him, as unwanted, as dirty, and as ugly.

The thing is, cheater always wins and the cheated is left with nothing.

Taemin shoves Hyukjae away, dresses himself with hiccups so loud he has to lower his voice that his chest is hurt from trying. The pain is doubled when Hyukjae does not even try to stop him this time.

Taemin spares him one last dirty look, making sure Hyukjae will remember his pain forever. “This is the end for us. Don’t ever contact me, don’t say you’re sorry. Don’t ever be happy either.”

The ballad of me.

Being too insanely in love, and betrayed at the same time, has the sanity he has stored. Hyukjae left him with too much of his trace to easily be forgotten. It is not in his control that he still thinks about the man everywhere and anytime he has the chance to. Plus being in his last year of college, the stress and the pressure pile up into one unbearable mess, all the bombs are just dropped at the right time. Kibum, who takes it into consideration of his sour look, invites the three of them (including Krystal) to a gay club. Taemin doesn’t even understand the need for Krystal to be there, she is not even in the field, just a straight woman trying to act gay by flirting with a lesbian, and find amusement in befriending gay dudes.

“One question.” Taemin raises his hand, one that Kibum gladly accepts. “Why does she have to be there?” Taemin looks up at Krystal sitting across him.

Krystal sticks out her tongue. “Being an ally or moral support? Who knows what you will do there, being all mellow dramatic still.”

“Oh I’m sorry for my angst ending.”

“Anyway Hyukjae. I mean look at you man, you’re you, and he’s him, man has the ing audacity to cheat on you? The nerve.”

“Maybe he finds someone better, like supermodel hot or something.” Kibum adds, and Taemin eyes him sharply.

“I’m just going to sleep tonight and cry in my own misery.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Kibum replies.

“I don’t see the harm in meeting new people, like you can get drunk there and forget about your problem for a bit, forget Hyukjae even exits. You don’t have to sleep with anyone, we’re just going to dance and have fun.”

Taemin is about to turn down Krystal’s suggestion when a thought of Hyukjae visits his mind again. He nods, and at the same time spots Kibum’s Cheshire grin.

“To loosen up Taemin’s juicy .” Kibum shrieks, in his blaring roar, right on the back of his ears. He tosses his raspberry smoothie with Krystal’s diet coke. They are laughing over Taemin’s unusual quietness.

Taemin is not an innocent fella, he can see through people, it’s thanks to being a cancer. He reads Kibum’s intention well, being a man himself (Kibum proudly calls himself that like it’s his own well received medal), club or bathhouses are his weekly destinations. Since Taemin dated Hyukjae before, he took less and less interest in such thing, seeing no point of being acquainted with another man or men (in Kibum’s case) when he already had one at home, lovely and seducing in his glory.

With that, Taemin shakes his head, his mind goes right to Hyukjae again when he tries so hard to forget about him. He is making a great effort to let go of the past, but none works yet. Alcohol is a stupid attempt, Taemin despises hard liquor, it makes his stomach churn in an uncomfortable tug, taking a rescue in another man does not end well either, instead he will chicken out halfway, just when Taemin thinks he is doing so well. That is a familiar plot.

It is pathetic, to let someone ruin him so bad, someone who probably does not have the slightest remorse of what he did, probably leads a good loving life now. So Taemin picks the nastiest clothes he can think of: a low cut white shirt he pairs with a leather jacket, a Gucci belt, ripped jeans that displayed his fair thighs, and combat boots. He styles his blond hair in a way that makes a man weak. Puts make up on, and texts his friends that he is ready to go. At last, he keeps reminding himself it is not him that loses Hyukjae, it is Hyukjae who lets go of a great love.

Distract my brain from the terrible news.

It is not hard to spot a man who takes a great interest in you, and it is even easier to notice he is daring enough to make a move on you. Taemin knows this man, saw him for handful of time before, he is a familiar face, to say the least. Looking back, Taemin remembers that he was the one covering a Tame Impala song in one of their University’s summer festivals last year. He supposed he already graduated, but from the way he’s dressed and speak, tells a lot about a depressed literature student who gets so much on his sleeve. The delusional type his Prof once warned, no one likes the social skill of a literature student, but this gorgeous man got beautiful shoes, maybe he is able to destroy the stereotype. Mr. Abraham’s sentiment is quite groundless too, the jocks spread rumors about him still being a in his forty, but the idea of shaming people that do not fit in an ideal society does not sit right with Taemin, he concludes it is bad enough to be biased, and it is even worst when you believe bunch of frat boys who smell like rotten vegetables.

Although, Taemin isn’t the literature kind, and he abhors reading, even more when it’s classic, he admires those that do, the amount of self-restraint they must have, and a mind of freedom. Man with knowledge is his weakness after all.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” The petite stranger asks him, and Taemin doesn’t find his existence bothersome. Taemin takes note of his delicate voice and fingers.

“Always welcomed.” Taemin smiles at him.

“I’m Jonghyun.” The man offers his hand and Taemin takes it gladly.

“Taemin.”

“A pretty one with a pretty smile.”

Well, with that, Taemin can’t suppress his grin any longer. “Is that how you flirt?”

“That’s how I claim a heart.”

“I think you have to try harder in my case.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It’s a trial.” Taemin gulps down in his beer, he can’t escape Jonghyun’s stares.

He’s few inches shorter than Taemin, someone who he usually is not rooting for, but the first thing that gets Taemin is his radiating smile. He is polite, flirty, but still understands his boundaries. He is everything Hyukjae is not, and Taemin finds himself a suitable replacement. They hit off quickly after that. Taemin collects later that Jonghyun in fact is not an English Literature major, but Jonghyun is a Theater major with a mesmerizing voice. But instead of acting and singing, he has more joy in writing. It sounds like an artistic mess of talent, so incomparable to the plain mind of Taemin’s.

Taemin learns that Jonghyun is being credited to handful of indie band’s songs that helps him pay his college debt. With that, he earns even more points in being a scene-stealer of Taemin’s broken chest.

Damn, he does not plan to fall in love tonight, but he finds one in a hopeless place.

Personified adolescence.

Taemin is quite sure of one thing, it’s Jonghyun’s radical mind instead of his body that catches him, although his physical beauty does not offer any less than pleasant. Two dates after, Jonghyun daringly asks him out, Taemin eagerly accepts him, finding no reason to objects. Jonghyun is everyone’s dream man, though that statement earns him a dramatic puke of Kibum and Krystal, but Taemin knows this time, that he is met with his own designed destiny. His friends call him innocently delusional, that is quite an instant mistake to make, especially since Kibum is in the same philosophical class with Jonghyun, everyone avoids him for the way he talks and walks, speaking like he is bigger than the world itself. Taemin thinks, what is love without the urge of taking risk?

Okay, that is kind of cringe, he records.

Taemin and Jonghyun are here. After going through two joyful and adrenaline inducing dates, they’re on their third now. In a spooky and remote mountain no one ever dares to take a foot at this time. Taemin should’ve been worried of getting killed, no one could hear him here, but Jonghyun convincing nature eases the paranoia in the back of his mind. It’s enough somehow, and it’s getting creepy how much control Jonghyun can have of his life in short period of time.

Taemin assumes that this is his boyfriend favorite spot to go star gazing and Jonghyun huge eyes observing the sky in amazement is his only affirmation. Jonghyun never tells, he always shows, in his words, songs, Jonghyun can’t draw so Taemin excludes that, but he is probably the most genuine man Taemin ever dated (the second too), he is raw in his emotions, he seeks freedom and all that hippies stuffs Taemin’s parents always frowned upon. If his mom hates Hyukjae for his age, she will hate Jonghyun for his unprincipled ideas.

Taemin gladly accepts, even regrets nothing, except all the mosquitoes taking a feast on his skin. In the process, Jonghyun writes love songs about him, declaration in their unethical love, their sweat and tears, and Taemin is quite smitten. He has completely forgotten about Hyukjae and his infidelity, three months of being with Jonghyun. Perhaps, it is right. Their love is too fragile for infinity, Taemin is better off with someone who understands imaginative dreams and passion, and the joy of experiencing momentous youth, rather than with someone who sees significance only in the stability of his career. Hyukjae won’t get it, but Jonghyun will.

“You know, I was quite sceptical about love. I thought it was bull, people our ages didn’t understand what it was, they shouldn’t either, and if they did, I was sure it was all just talk, our ignorant egos were too high to understand the nature of it. But since I’ve met you, all my superior beliefs were gone, replaced by these stupid possibilities of being too in love. I don’t think I have a grip of my own sanity.”

Taemin, head lying on Jonghyun’s arms, nods attentively. He doesn’t get what most means, but he agrees. It’s insane, being in love.

A sycophantic, prophetic, Socratic, junkie wannabe.

On the other hand, Jonghyun’s authenticity and social awareness a lot of time leads to something else. Taemin is so invested in their relationship, to make everything work this time, to build that forever. Jonghyun contrastingly, is too consumed in his emotions and emotions alone. Frequently, Taemin feels like he is working on that future by himself. Jonghyun demands him to see something invisible. In conclusion, Taemin understands why his friends think Jonghyun is deluded by his own head at a certain level, like he is living in this simulation of an ideal world, which is quite comedic now that Taemin thinks about it. He is not even offended regarding Kibum’s hurtful opinions about his boyfriend.

If this relationship makes a good change in Taemin, is that to push him to be selfless and be quite aware of his surroundings. The worst thing though, Taemin finds himself prioritizing what is decent in Jonghyun’s standard instead of his. That is to be brutally honest, kind of terrorizing. In the presence of Jonghyun, Taemin does not feel his head or his heart.

Jonghyun is politically and artistically awake, he is a man build of righteous ideology and self-standard, gets no time for bull or anyone who thinks differently, either you gone or I take my leave kind of guy. Jonghyun is not dimensional, he is super super ing unbearably loud, especially when Taemin is not in the mood for a political debate.

They are getting themselves into an argument because Taemin does not think a kid being culturally ignorant as something problematic and deserved to be sworn at by thinking adults. They’re children for sake, children will throw up if given raw octopus on set, because Taemin knows, he too does not appreciate that on cultural level. Grow up. People just do not prefer rice, and instead eat that plain boiled broccoli. Jonghyun should’ve seen things through people lenses.

“Can we stop? I’m trying to eat my mac and cheese in peace.” Taemin chops into the food with his fork.

“I want to hear your most personal opinion on why you think this is appropriate. They’re ting on our culture Taemin, this habit of shrugging everything off as if it’s normal is why this keeps happening. Won’t you look at this snotty small human? They’re looking down on us, like our customs, traditions, our upbringings, are significantly inferior to theirs, white people.”

“Jjong, you know this is getting ridiculous.”

“No, no,” Jonghyun swings his index finger in the air, a gesture he usually does when getting heated up. “I just don’t see the needs to be rude about it, sure, people were kid once, and we were as stupid, but I had never puked in public, let alone in front of people I thought would enjoy it. It’s ignorant, I swear to god these Americans should’ve known better, what? Should not your McDonald’s double patties triple cheese burger disgusting? This is why I oppose this lifestyle, the more reason to go vegan. You should stop consuming this trash bag fast food.”

“We’re in college, this is what we eat every day.” Taemin replies, close to give up.

Jonghyun swipes his mouth with the nearest tissue clean. “It’s unhealthy.”

“Not everyone can afford a vegan version of chicken sandwich, or gluten free cupcake. Are you serious, Jjong? Give it up.”

“You never take me seriously.”

“And you complain too much.”

“Oh god this is stupid.” Jonghyun rolls his eyes, and Taemin feels the urge to poke them out.

“Yes, our argument is.”

“I don’t see the need of you always disagreeing with me.”

“That’s because you find problems in the tiniest, stupidest things.”

“So do you think I’m stupid?” Jonghyun challenges him.

“Oh, don’t put things in my mouth.”

Jonghyun shushes him with his hands. “No, no, go on,” he mouths. “I wanna hear your thoughts.”

“Are you for real?”

“Are you for real?” Jonghyun mimics him annoyingly, and that pushes Taemin to his edge.

He taps his hands on the table, indicating to Jonghyun that he is equally irritated, and it is not too far yet for him to back off. “You’re so childish.”

“Not only I’m stupid and dumb, but I’m also childish now?”

Taemin bites his mouth, trying to hold himself back otherwise he will say things he does not mean to, regrets always come running later on. His mom warns him, when mad, try to say less, or you will regret it for the rest of your life later on. Jonghyun purposely makes it hard for him, with those dramatic sighs, and challenging stares, like he is inviting Taemin to an open fight.

“You know what, forget it, I’m going home.”

“You’re staying.”

“Make me.” He is about to stand up when Jonghyun replies again.

“If you ever go as far as a blink away from me, we’re done.”

Taemin stares at him wide eyed, mouth hanging, unbelieving. “The ?” He lets out harshly and as hoarsely.

“I doubt you ever see me as equal.”

“No, where is this conversation coming from?” Taemin sits back again, demanding answers.

“Has it been in your mind for long? That I’m stupid? That I always demand things for no absolute damn reason? That I have a lousy mouth?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know what your little group of friends, or anyone in general, are thinking of me.”

“And what do they think?”

“That I’m a delusional piece of , a dreamer who is too much of a stoner to see reality.”

Taemin shakes his head, trying so hard to stop his whole body from collapsing. “Now this is what I think is delusional. Not everyone has something against you, live up your life dude, what the are you so insecure for?”

“Well, for example I’m not as privileged or as rich as you are. I have to earn a living for myself to continue my study, but instead I have to hear a comment about a boy who live off his parents wealth? Who has no worry about food for tomorrow or bills, you ungrateful prick.”

“What the did you just call me?”

“An ungrateful prick, that’s what you are.” When Jonghyun points a finger at him, Taemin knows that it’s his last call.

He takes his glass of iced cola, throws it at Jonghyun’s unblemished face, and feeling no remorse afterwards. This man deserves hot coffee instead of ice cubs thrown at him, but it is far more pleasant than nothing.

“You’re too much of an airhead to notice you’re just a man. A broke college dude whose opinion doesn’t even matter that much, arts that are too to pay off your rent for next month.”

Jonghyun is spilled with hot lava in his mouth, and Taemin pays him no mind other than the last sentence. “We’re done, Taemin!” He shouts, “we’re ing done!” louder this time.

Taemin shows him his middle finger. “Good. Because I waiting. Best day of my ing life.” He disappears to the glass door.

The worst day of his ing life.

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