It had been a bit over 6 years since the last time Minjoo had seen Chaewon. The last time was Eunbi’s thirtieth birthday party where their old team leader had managed to somehow pull the greatest feat of gathering the twelve of them together. Minjoo doesn’t remember much from that night except that it was really boozy.

A few years later and they’re both thirty themselves now but age hasn’t really affected Chaewon. From across the road she still looks like the same girl Minjoo stood on stage with all those years ago. She still wears hoodies that are way too big for her, chunky sneakers to make her seem taller and a beanie to keep her head warm. Chaewon was always about comfort and in some ways it reminds her how Chaewon used to be Minjoo’s comfort.

She laughs to herself.

This wasn’t how it was meant to be between them. Their friendship was the kind that was meant to last. Afterall you don’t go through the highest of highs and lowest of lows together and not last. Chaewon was meant to be the friend she called whenever she was having a bad day, or even a good day. She would’ve been the friend that randomly responded to her 3am text messages when she couldn’t sleep, friend to go on lunch dates with, friend at all her parties and celebrations, her bridesmaid and godmother to her first born.

The point is — Chaewon was meant to stick around in the forever kinda way.

It wasn’t always like this though.

Their time together in their late teens and early twenties were some of the most memorable of Minjoo’s life. Performing on stage together, travelling together, eating, sleeping and laughing with each other like one giant family was something that Minjoo learnt to cherish especially after all her years of being alone prior.

Eventually their contracts expire and all of them go their own way despite their futile attempts to stick together. Most of them re-debuted as performers with varying degrees of success. Minjoo however decided to continue on the path of being an actress even though there are days where she misses the stage terribly. She misses seeing the delighted expressions of people as she sang and danced, misses them singing along with her, misses the girls standing beside her and hoping that it would always be this way.

Still, they kept in touch — busy as they were trying to adjust to their new lives. In the first year post disbandment they were adamant on doing frequent catch-ups, by the second year they realised how childish it was to believe that they could with all their mismatched schedules.

They tried to keep their group chat alive for a while and on some days it felt like nothing had really changed. Then it did. Mostly phone numbers at first, stalkers leaking some of their information making it hard to keep. Eventually it becomes difficult to keep track and the group chat dies too and it turns into more private one on one chats but at least they were still friends or at least Minjoo thought.

Chaewon’s across the road from her, climbing out of her car whilst trying to juggle some items in her hands and Minjoo feels butterflies fluttering about in the pit of her stomach. Minjoo strums her fingers on the table, she hadn’t realised that her leg had been shaking for the past minute as she contemplated chasing Chaewon across the road. It wasn’t so much of a question of if she wanted to it was more if Chaewon would want to speak to her — after all it had been six years. She picks up her coffee off the counter and quickly scribbles on the receipt roll her signature that the barista had asked for in exchange for the free coffee before running out the door.

“Can I help you?” a sweet voice appears from over the table. The receptionist’s eyes widened, recognising her immediately. “Y-you’re K-kim Minjoo. I’m a big fan!”

“Hi,” she eeks, clears and opens to speak when the receptionist cuts her off again.

“Are you here for Miss Kim?” She’s surprised that she remembers even though it’s been years. She wonders if she was an IZ*ONE fan or if she’s a new fan that knows of Minjoo’s past — after all it’s her origin story of sorts.

“Uhm, yes, Chaewon unnie,” Minjoo points aimlessly into the building. She’s not even entirely sure if she’s pointing in the right direction of anything. However if there’s any moment in time where she’s be glad she’s been recognised on the street it was now.

“She’s just in the Gold Studio on level five.”

“Thank you,” Minjoo bows politely as the gates open for her to pass through.

+

The elevator ride feels like an eternity.

She figures it’s the anticipation of seeing Chaewon again and the knots forming in the pit of her stomach. When the lifts open she finds herself in a warmly lit corridor that reminds her a bit of the recording studio they used to spend their days in as team members. She walks down the straight corridor and past a few rooms, peering into each one with the hopes of spotting her. “Jade Studio, Platinum Studio…” Minjoo reads as she scans her eyes past the signs on the door. “Gold Studio.”

She peers nervously through the glass panel to find Chaewon hunched over a table. Minjoo takes a minute to compose herself, brushes invisible specks of dust off her clothes and straightens out her hair. She feels giddy like a girl going on her first date. Shuffling out of view of the glass window she knocks twice on the door and hears a muffle from the other side, assuming it’s an invitation to enter.

Minjoo pokes her head through the crack and turns around the corner. Chaewon doesn’t look up immediately, she’s still attentively scribbling notes in her notepad and it feels all too reminiscent of their days back in the dorm. Minjoo stands for a minute, holding her breath, unsure whether or not she should speak first. “Chaewon unnie…”

Chaewon raises her head slowly, eyes scanning the white sneakers, blue denim jeans and blazer making its way up to Minjoo’s face. “Is that… Best Actress Kim Minjoo?

“In the flesh,” she flips the end of her hair over her shoulder and feels her body recoil slightly from embarrassment.

“Yah!” Chaewon cries, “What are you doing here?” she leaps up off the chair and pulls her in for a hug.

“Was wondering if there was an opening on Gemini for me to join.” Minjoo wraps her arms around her waist, hands fisted into her hoodie to make sure that she’s real. She feels the knots in her stomach begin to release sending waves of just joy and excitement across her body, reaching her fingertips as her hands find Chaewon’s when they break away from their hug.

It really has been too long.

“You say that like we didn’t want that originally,” Chaewon laughs it off. It was something they had discussed originally for Minjoo to join Chaewon’s debut lineup with Eunbi. Except contracts are more than just pieces of papers and Minjoo is loyal to a fault even if it meant sticking to a company that couldn’t support her music career. There’s still a twinge in Chaewon’s chest at the thought of what could’ve been. If only Minjoo wasn’t Minjoo but if Minjoo wasn’t Minjoo then Chaewon would’ve never loved her for being her.

“But what are you doing here?”

“Had a meeting in the area with the director for my next project and saw a pretty girl across the street. But enough about me, how are you?”

“Well… I spend my days wrapped up in this room now, it’s basically like my second home, writing, composing, you know what I used to do back in the days. Except I’m a lot more competent at it. I’m working on some songs for my comeback...”

Minjoo smiles at the thought, she can see it clearly. She imagines Chaewon hunched over the table, iced tea and piles of snacks as her diet, earphones plugged in as she disconnects from the world to work on her lyrics. She’d spend hours just humming the same tune and writing and rewriting her lyric and when she can’t she’ll just move to another corner of the house for inspiration. Minjoo sees it evident in the small piles of rubbish scattered in each corner of the room like a little nest.

“Hey, so do you want to grab a bite later?” Minjoo asks as she makes a scooping motion with her hands.

+

Some things never change, like how their favourite dining place is the one closest to their old dorm. How the first thing they’ll order is the wagyu beef set despite the demand for their bodies to be in good shape. Chaewon always orders extra kimchi and a bottle of soju to start them off, because back then the only one who couldn’t drink were the maknaes — well at least only ever in front of their managers. Whatever they did in their dorms, in their rooms was a different story.

Minjoo remembers that night.

They were hiding Yujin and Wonyoung in her room when their manager came in to check on them, assuring her they were fine despite their flushed cheeks and nervous giggles. Yujin and Wonyoung had discussed with Eunbi about wanting to drink with the older members even though they weren’t of age. It was a trust thing but also a sentimental thing. They were never going to be a group like this again so they wanted to celebrate properly with the people who had grown to be like family to them.

“So what else is going on with you, how many new acting projects are on the horizon?” Chaewon asks.

“Two. I start filming for one in three weeks and we were just having a bit of a discussion about the character today. I have a movie we’ll have to start training me for straight after since it’ll be an action role.” She examines the meat on the grill, she likes it a touch seared on the outside with a bit of pink in the middle so that it’s still tender to eat. “What about you? When is your next comeback? Did you end up going to Japan for the concert?”

“Plenty of times,” she chomps down on another piece of meat. “We’re there at least once every two months for promotions. I caught up with Kkura unnie and Nako when we went back. Eunbi and I went to visit them in Tokyo. Tomi couldn’t make it to Tokyo in time...”

“How are they?” Minjoo feels guilty that she has to ask about her through Chaewon but acting keeps her in Korea most of the time. If ever she’s able to travel she’s either on a tight schedule or it was always too late notice to organise a catch up with her former Japanese members.

“They’re good, Kkura’s trying to compose a lot more now too since she graduated from her group a few years ago. She’s doing a bit more acting too. So you know… just like you. Nako doing variety shows and Tomi’s apparently opened up a dance studio in her city.”

“I miss them.”

“They miss you too,” Chaewon says, a message she forgot to deliver all those years ago.

They catch up on the whereabouts of each of the members, taking turns to fill in the gaps of missing information with what they knew. Like how Wonyoung was going to America for a photoshoot and participate in a fashion show, Yujin had been casted as a new cast member on a variety show or how Yena and Chaeyeon and their groups were making a comeback soon themselves. They talk about Yuri and how Minjoo finally went to visit her in Busan and how Chaewon still catches up with Hyewon when Eunbi drags her along to their brunches together.

“So we kept in contact with mostly everyone but each other.” Minjoo’s voice trails off and she downs another cup of alcohol. She wonders when it began to taste so sweet to her.

“Yeah…” Chaewon laments.

The more she stared at Chaewon the more Minjoo realised how different Chaewon was. Not physically so much. She was still drowning in her hoodies, and her smile was still charmingly perfect and disarming. Her bangs were still just curled over her eyebrows, short brown hair like when they were promoting together all those years ago. There’s something else about her that’s different. Something that you can’t really see — more like a feeling.

Chaewon used to tell her that despite Minjoo’s age, she was always someone that Chaewon could rely on. She used to tell her that Minjoo was mature for her age which was why Minjoo always took pride when people didn’t realise that she was younger than Chaewon from the way they acted. Except this Chaewon here feels like a whole different kind of beast.

She feels more mature, more calm and more steadfast in the way she speaks. She’s not trying to change the way she talks or act to mimic the person she’s talking to. She’s not trying to please everyone or maybe she doesn’t feel the need to please Minjoo.

“Eat up,” Chaewon makes eating motions with her hands, “We’re here now so let's just have fun tonight,” she assures the younger girl.

Minjoo brushes off the thoughts and turns back to the burning grill, food already piled up in her bowl, to which she can only assume that Chaewon had placed it there for her.

Minjoo takes a bite of beef and smiles, “Cheers?” she’s swift to pick up the small shot glass and the two girls toast to their reunion.

+

Minjoo used to be able to hold her drink better.

It’s been a few years now since she had this much to drink. Even at her own social outings and company dinners she would only keep to a simple glass of wine. However, being with Chaewon made her nervous and excited at the same time — allowing her to let her inhibitions go and leaving behind four empty bottles of soju at their table between the two of them. “Thanks for letting me stay here,” she sighs, arms and legs spread across the chair in Chaewon’s lounge.

They’re back in Chaewon’s Gangnam apartment where she’s been living for the past three years alone.

“That’s fine, I can’t let you go home right now anyways, that would make me a terrible friend,” she tosses over some shorts and a t-shirt to her. “Wear these to sleep, you’ll be much more comfortable.”

Minjoo sits herself up, and slides off the couch ungracefully and looks at Chaewon with a pout. “Unnie,” Minjoo flails cutely on the floor and sticks her hands up into the air, “Chaewon unnie,” Minjoo shouts again, the smile on her face is so wide that Chaewon’s afraid it’ll crack if she doesn’t stop. Chaewon sighs, walks over to her and grabs her hand, leaning back with her body to pull Minjoo. It sends her flying into Chaewon’s arms however as Chaewon fights to keep them upright. “Bathroom?” Minjoo asks, face really close to Chaewon who winces at the smell of alcohol.

Chaewon points down the corridor “Third door on the right.”

Minjoo nods, taps Chaewon’s nose and winks before stumbling down the hallway towards the bathroom. As she closes the bathroom door Minjoo sits on the toilet seat for a minute to gather her thoughts before she even begins to fathom exerting effort to get changed. She tries her best to sober up by splashing her face with cold water but it seems to have no effect. Instead she feels her limbs becoming more numb and Minjoo is simply ready for a warm bed to crawl into.

Minjoo takes off her blouse and slips on Chaewon’s oversized t-shirt. She unhooks her bra, letting it drop onto the floor and strips out of her pants, leaving the shorts Chaewon gave her on top of the pile too. She stumbles out of the bathroom into the room directly opposite it and flops onto the bed.

“The guest room is down that way,” Chaewon comes out of her closet with a fresh t-shirt and shorts on.

“I’m not sleepy yet,” Minjoo says, “Just really drunk…”

Chaewon turns off the light and walks to her bed without trouble. She sits on the edge of the bed and tries to push Minjoo aside, trying to tuck her limbs away so that she can make space for herself on her own bed. She shuffles in beside Minjoo and switches on the bedside lamp. It lit the room with a honey glow and Minjoo feels a warmth wash over her as Chaewon tucks her under the blanket alongside her.

“How has it been so long since we’ve last spoken to each other like this?” Minjoo asks, twisting her body to face Chaewon, limbs invading her space all over again.

“And you just freely use banmal?” Chaewon teases.

“You never cared, that’s why I liked you the most.”

It was true. Despite being a year older (technically six months) than Minjoo, Chaewon often let her get away with a lot of informalities. It was a reflection of their relationship, more of an equal friendship than anything else.

“Go to sleep, you’re drunk.” Chaewon pushes her over slightly allowing Minjoo to roll outwards and back in closer towards her.

“Do you remember how we almost got in trouble for getting Wonyoung and Yujin drunk?” Minjoo casually runs her hand up Chaewon’s thigh and rests it on her waist.

“Oh gosh don’t remind me,” Chaewon says like it’s a dark mark on her past. The closest thing she’s done to breaking the law was supplying minors with alcohol. “Yena unnie kept pouring them drinks even when I begged her to stop.”

“Do you think they were traumatised for life?”

“I hope so, drinking isn’t as fun as it’s cracked up to be.” Chaewon’s trying to get a grip on the world spinning around her which seems to be exacerbated at the fact that she’s lying down, or that Minjoo seems to be invading her breathing space.

“Are you kidding me?” Minjoo snuggles up closer to Chaewon. “I haven’t felt this carefree in such a long time. That’s not to say that I need to drink to feel happy — but you know. It’s just so fun.” Chaewon smiles, eyes fixed on her as Minjoo gulps down hard the bile coming back up. “I’ve missed this — how we used to live together.”

“Ah, all the bad memories of you sleeping with me are running back…” Chaewon says teasingly. They used to pair up a lot during their overseas trip. Call it fate or destiny but they always seemed to pick the same straw when it came to being roommates. “The sleep talking, the being smacked in the face when you move in your sleep, gummy bears and chocolate bar wrappers under my pillow the next morning… I also remember that night you kept sobbing at 2am because your favourite drama character died...”

“I was really sad that night! You didn’t even ask me if I was doing well, you just told me to sleep!” Minjoo glares at Chaewon with a smirk on her lips “But anyway, I am better now!”

“And you know this because you’re not asleep right?”

Minjoo scoffs, “No, my boyfriend – well ex-boyfriend, told me that.”

“Kim Minjoo!” Chaewon squeals out of delight and grabs Minjoo tightly by the arm “You’ve done it?”

Minjoo is quick to sit up, which wasn’t a good idea as the throbbing pain shoots up into her brain before she falls back onto the bed into a ball. “No! Well I mean...” she’s trying to make herself feel comfortable again which seems impossible.

“Sleeping with men,” Chaewon clicks her tongue teasingly.

Minjoo blushes and turns away, “Well we’re not that young anymore, it’s only natural for us to be in relationships and be intimate…” she feels her ears burning red hot, “I mean I’ll bet you have as well.” Chaewon just smiles, closes her eyes and makes herself comfortable. Her lack of response is simply unacceptable for Minjoo who is still buzzing. “Unnie!” Minjoo squeals and pulls the pillow from underneath her, throwing it on Chaewon’s face.

“Yah, Kim Minjoo!” Chaewon sits up and rolls over her, straddling her hips and pinning her arms against the mattress. “You’re dead,” she says victoriously as her hands move to around Minjoo’s waist, tickling her mercilessly as she pleads with her to stop.

It was war.

+

Minjoo wakes up the next morning, face pressed up against Chaewon’s back, hand pressed recklessly against the bare skin of her belly underneath her shirt. She knows it’s morning already and she desperately wishes that she could go back to sleep but her body won’t let her. She’s far too excited about being here, in Chaewon’s house, in her bed, next to her.

She wants to wake Chaewon up so that they could continue their conversation from last night but she remembers how Chaewon loved her sleep and she would hate to disturb. Instead she slips out of bed quietly, making sure she tucks Chaewon in comfortably before she does, and wanders around the apartment.

There wasn’t anything strikingly odd about the way Chaewon’s apartment looked that didn’t resonate with what Minjoo already knew. There’s a lot of clean white walls and white window frames, marble for the floor. Her interior was modern chic with a clean colour palette and had a relaxed elegance to it. She probably didn’t want or need to do much though when her view of the city was so beautiful she need not distract from it.

In her apartment Chaewon has a room where she stores and hangs her memorabilia and things from her career. There are trophies, fan portraits and signed CDs from other celebrities. Minjoo can’t help but feel nostalgic herself as her fingers graze across the shelves where Chaewon had kept her IZ*ONE collection, eyes scanning the frames on the wall with pictures of their younger selves.

She finds on the shelves a few signed CDs they received when they were promoting, and then their last album. Wonyoung was insistent that they made it sentimental, by scribbling down a few things in each copy, like it was a high school yearbook.

Unnie, you know I love and respect you very much right? Please don’t ever change - Yujin

Chaewon, it’s you and me now. You can always trust me - I’ll keep all your secret safe. – Eunbi

You better come out to eat now when I tell you to. If I see you’ve lost too much weight you’re in trouble… – Hyewon

ROOMMATES FOR LIFE IF YOU SLEEP WITH ANYONE ELSE THAT’S CHEATING AND I GET TOY GANJANG IN THE SETTLEMENT - YENA (IS THE BESTEST AND YOU LOVE HER THE MOST)

She rolls her eyes – typical Yena.

She turns to her page, and frowns a bit ‘Call me when you’re sad, call me when you’re happy, call me when you can’t sleep or just call me when you’re fine. Life partners forever - right? – Kim Mindyu’

There’s a photo album sitting on the shelf that makes Minjoo curious. She’s about to flip through it when she hears her phone from outside – she rushes to pick it up to make sure the sound doesn’t wake up Chaewon. “Hello?” she whispers into the phone and makes her way to the kitchen to make sure that the sound doesn’t travel to Chaewon’s room.

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Eunbi notes the hushed tone.

“No,” Minjoo clears and speaks a little louder, “No you didn’t, I’m actually at Chaewon’s place - we had dinner last night and she let me stay over. She’s just still sleeping so I didn’t want to wake her.”

“Wait. You’re with Chaewon? That’s why she wasn’t answering any of my calls last night?”

“Oh, we got a bit drunk last night…” Minjoo props herself up on the kitchen bench and lets her feet swing freely off the ground. “I’ll get her to call you later… but what did you need from me?”

“Okay… so I wanted to know how busy you’d be in the next coming months.”

“Why?”

“Well I wanted to propose we work on a song together. I know you said last time that you wanted to dip back into composing again but you were too busy so I wanted to see where you were at.”

“Oh…” Minjoo feels her heart sink, “I’m actually going to be busy with two projects from now till the third quarter. Maybe next time…”

“Well that’s disappointing. How about you just let me know when you’re free, even if it’s just a weekend. I’ll take you back into the studio and we can write some songs like the good old days. I’m sure Chaewon would love it too...”

“Unnie… did you know that Chaewon and I haven’t spoken to each other in years.”

“What do you mean? I call you at least once a month and you’re telling me that your whole life partners schtick didn’t last?”

“Apparently not. I just never realised that I got my updates from you about her and she said the same. We just let everything slide after that.”

“It doesn’t matter, you still found your way back to each other right?” Minjoo hears Eunbi’s voice on the other line, teasing her like a child “Cheer up, ok, kiddo - you’re with her right now?”

“Yeah, we stayed up last night and she told me a lot of things in her life that had happened over the past six years…”

“There you are,” she sighs in relief. Chaewon walks into the room, hair messy, eyes still bleary, and hands running all over her body underneath her shirt to keep herself warm.

“Oh good morning, unnie...” Minjoo's eyes light up as she walks into the room, a smile creeps on her lips at how cute she looked having just woken up. It feels like old times again when she had to wake Chaewon up in time for their schedule.

Chaewon drags her feet over to Minjoo, mouth forming the words ‘Who?’ as Minjoo responds in the same way with ‘Eunbi unnie.’

“Oh let me talk to her. She’s been trying to avoid me because I want to ask her about that girl she went on a date with…”

“Wait- hold up? Girl...she went on a...date...with..?”

Chaewon’s eyes widen as she snatches the phone away from Minjoo but not before almost sending it flying across the room from the sheer force. “Kwon Eunbi, what do you want?”

“I was just calling to check on Minjoo – sorry Chaewon-ah!” Eunbi knows that she’s messed up, “It slipped but I also...maybe thought…she said you told her things last night so I thought… you came out… I mean it came out - the information. Not you - or maybe you...”

“Unnie!” Chaewon whines.

“Answer your phone the next time I try to call you then…” Eunbi huffs in response but her voice softens, “But also don’t worry, it’s Minjoo - you can trust her. I’m sorry Chaewon-ah, forgive me, I love you…”

“That’s exactly why she-”

Eunbi hangs up the phone quickly before Chaewon can say another word - or rather - shout another word at her. Chaewon sighs and hands Minjoo back the phone, afraid to meet her eyes.

“Coffee?” Chaewon asks immediately, voice shaking.

“You like girls?”

This is where Minjoo isn’t entirely sure if she’s got the right to ask especially since it’s been so long since they last spoke.

“Not exclusively…” Chaewon replies. She sounds a bit frustrated in the way her voice is strained as she tries her best to respond to Minjoo’s question politely. “If you meet