She groaned as she sat up, staring groggily at her alarm clock. She thanked the heavens she’d woken up before it rang out, god knows how annoying that sound is. The sun light peaked through the blinds, shining irritatingly into Dahyun’s eyes. She squinted before falling back into her bed, closing her eyes before opening them again, only for them to once again fall shut. Her eyebrows furrowed as she pulled her covers over her face, shielding herself from the sun’s rays. Her alarm clock didn’t go off, and it was then that she realized something was wrong. 

She sat there, idle, for who knows how long before she finally opted to swing her legs off the bed and onto the warm, carpet flooring of her bedroom. After a second of staring off into the distance of her light grey walls, she finally turned her unfocused gaze onto her clock. It read ‘8:00’. It was then that her whole life flashed before her eyes. 

Her eyes widened, and she shot off her bed, grabbing a couple towels before sprinting to her room, as quietly as possible to not alert her brother who she’d know would question why she’s still home. She doesn’t think she could handle any questions at the moment, brain fizzled and a mess. 

She nearly slips getting out of the shower, finishing in record time, only in 10 minutes, versus her normal hour long showers. Last night she was up late talking to her friends and reading, so she was a little screwed today. To me things worse, it was that day. Her probably least favorite day of the year—Valentine’s day. 

See, normally she wouldn’t really have much of a problem with it. The thing was, seeing couples be lovey dovey and seeing new romances blossom before her for years on end kind of wasn’t her thing. Over time, she got kind of jaded to it, even annoyed when she’d see it, so she’d always been grumpy this time of year, especially since she hadn’t ever been in a relationship, thanks to her protective parents and her hidden uality. It’s been hard being a closeted gay at a private school in Korea. She’d only known a few openly gay people at her school, and only one of them was really popular because of her looks and bubbly personality. She’d never admit it, but she admired the girl; Sana was her name if she’d remembered correctly. 

She admired her beauty, her smarts, her personality, and mainly her ability to not give two s about what others thought about her. She was herself, and she loved herself, and Dahyun wouldn’t be too shy to admit she loved that about her, too. But Dahyun wished she could feel the same way about herself. 

Instead, her parent’s; society in general had her tied up in metal grips, and she felt tiny and weak compared to everyone else. She tried to be perfect—perfect attendance, perfect grades- perfect façade. However, she knew it wouldn’t be long before the chains broke, and that façade would eventually crack to reveal a broken, tired girl who couldn’t live up to all of those expectations packed against her.  

That was why she hated Valentine’s so much. Because she couldn’t be happy with a partner, since she herself, and every other person was too afraid to be with her, or rather, show who they really were, if that makes sense. Too afraid to be judged, and too afraid to admit to themselves that they’re not ‘normal’, even though more people have been getting more confident seeing Sana. 

But Dahyun admitted that she was the same as them. 

After drying her hair for a solid 5 minutes on full blast, she quickly put on her spiffy, light grey and navy blue uniform, straightening her tie and patting hersef down before applying very light makeup. She was ready in only around 5 more minutes, even though she knew she wouldn’t make it in time for school, seeing as 1st block had just started. 

She sighed, running a hand through her damp hair, before trudging her way out the door, backpack in hand and ear buds blasting songs, distracting herself as she walked down the street. Her father had already left to work, and her mother was still asleep, so she didn’t have a ride. Waking her mother up would be embarrassing, and she didn’t want to feel another wave of disappointment waft off her. She held her head up, and continued walking down the street, the cold nipping a bit at her legs through her mid-length skirt. 

Her face never lifted up into a smile as she entered the building. She checked in at the front office, them looking at her strangely as they handed her a late note. She couldn’t bring herself to look them in the eye, staring into the distance until she felt a small piece of paper in her palm, then she brought herself into the empty school halls.  

Only the sounds of her feet could be heard, the thudding sounding and echoing vastly, maybe even heard down to the other side of the school. Her expression never changed, and she dulled out the sounds with her music, backpack weighing her down and causing her back to ache. 

When she finally reached her 1st block, she entered the door, the classroom immediately hushing as she felt over 20 heads turning to stare at her. It had been the first time she’d been late to a class, and the shock of it even had the teacher turning her head confusedly, astounded by the late student. Dahyun just shook the stares off, eyes never meeting anyone else’s. Before she could take her seat, though, the teacher called her up. The rest of the class had been continuing their conversations or their work, but they all stopped yet again to hear what had happened. 

Dahyun hadn’t noticed that a few students already had gifts and chocolates and flowers on their desks, so she never did once think about what was about to happen. It caught her by surprise, as well as everyone else. Dahyun had been known as the quiet student, but she didn’t have a bad reputation. She was friendly and spoke clearly and directly when addressed, and she seemed very animated and cool to outside students when they’d seen her interacting with her friends Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. However, rumors about the student that had been circulating often changed their minds when they thought of approaching her. 

There had been countless rumors about countless students around the school, but for Dahyun especially. She had been seen as an easy target, thus a swarm of popular kids and other kids who had wanted attention made up mounds of false rumors about the girl. Dahyun kept her head down, and people didn’t really pay much mind to her after that, though they still didn’t associate with her. Only Chaeyoung and Tzuyu stuck with the girl, and Dahyun had been thankful and glad, and to this day she cherishes them more than anyone else, because they never judged her. 

The teacher brought everyone’s attention with her as she handed Dahyun a small package, and a red rose. Dahyun just stared at the gifts, noticing a small piece of paper taped to the box. She thanked the teacher, and walked back to her seat, barely noticing all of the stares glued onto her. 

The class eventually went back to the usual chatter as Dahyun sat there, staring at some papers on her desk as to not encourage their curiosity. She slowly lifted her hand up to the box and opened it, revealing fancy looking chocolates, some sprinkled in nuts and others covered in layers of white chocolate or cream.  

Her face lifted into a small, unnoticeable smile, before she took one of the chocolates and bit into it. Various flavors infiltrated , and she realized then how expensive these must have been. She thought the person who got it had the wrong person, until she noticed the note attached to the box, and read it. 

Dear Kim Dahyun, 

I know you know me, however you don’t know who I am. I prefer it to be that way, at least until you know me more for my personality rather than who I am perceived as. I just wanted you to know that- I think you’re really cool, and I wanna get to know you more, though you don’t know who I am. Expect more from me, 

-Your secret admirer, 

SM. 

Dahyun pushed her glasses up on her face slightly, adjusting and readjusting them to make sure she’d read it right. Blood rushed to her cheeks, and her mind raced about thoughts of who this admirer was. She knew a handful of people with the initials SM, but she hadn’t had enough of socialbility to get to know them all. She looked around the classroom, noting all of the people in that class who had those initials.  

The school’s student population was small, so it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out who it was. Her eyes wondered over a few faces. There was Soyeon Min, but it couldn’t be her, since she was openly in a relationship with her boyfriend, happily. Her eyes shifted to a boy, Shin Mao, it could be him. She’d noticed he wasn’t in a relationship, but he did have a small pile of gifts on his desk, and as he read them, he was clearly happy, so she didn’t think he would direct his attention to her. 

Then her eyes wandered over to another girl in her class. Sana Minatozaki, the infamous Japanese transferee. She had a couple other Japanese friends, and she seemed always busy, but she wasn’t in a relationship, and again, she was openly gay. But that was the thing, she was popular, and Dahyun wasn’t. That was it, plain and simple, popularity versus the bottom of the food chain. Upperclass versus lowerclass. Dahyun shook her head, averting her gaze, though she didn’t realize that the Japanese’s gaze lingered on her throughout the whole time since she’d entered the room, to when she’d looked around the class for suspects. 

--- * --- 

“Are you kidding? You managed to get gifts and even a sweet note, while all I got was a flower?!” Chaeyoung exclaimed, hand on her heart in offense, “what world are we even living in?” she said dramatically. Though she didn’t hesitate to gush about the flower she’d gotten by another secret admirer. I guess there were more gays out there who wanted to finally come out clean about their feelings. Still a little scared, though. 

“Yeah, I’m a little shocked too, but I can’t figure out who it’s from,” Dahyun finally admitted, sighing while glossing over the neat handwriting on the small card she put in her pocket. SM. Chaeyoung stared at it for a few seconds. 

“Uh, Sana Minatozaki? You know, it’s kind of obvious,” Chaeyoung stated as a fact, though she elaborated when Dahyun just stared at her as if she’d grown 3 heads. “You know, how the ‘secret admirer’ said that she knows you know her. Dude, you’re so anti-social you know literally nobody except me, Tzu and the popular kids. Who else but Sana Minatozaki?!” Chaeyoung asked, exasperated. She sighed in defeat when Dahyun continued staring, shaking her head. “At least I got a clue who my letter was from, unlike someone,” Chaeyoung muttered, staring down at her flower which had a single small note on it, with only two letters attached to the stem—MM. There weren’t many people with those initials who went to their school, so Chaeyoung was pretty sure who the culprit was. 

“You’re literally useless, you realize how unlikely that is? She’s way out of my league, I’m sure she has a ton of people waiting to ask her out,” Dahyun sighed, “Why would she choose me in the first place, anyway?” It was the sad truth to her. Compared to most of the school population, Dahyun was a stick in the mud. Though only she saw herself this way. 

Chaeyoung just shook her head, shoving her into the locker lightly before running off to talk to Tzuyu, who had just left her classroom they were waiting by. Dahyun sighed and begrudgingly walked up to them, greeting Tzuyu as well.  

Tzuyu held a bag in her hand, full of mounds of chocolate boxes and enough flowers to make a whole bouquet. Dahyun grimaced—Tzuyu had always been pretty popular, but this had to be a new record. Tzuyu just smiled shyly, pulling the back behind her back as she glanced around the hallways. Most of the students ignored them, though there were a few who let their gazes linger on the tall girl. Dahyun felt happy for her friend, but at the same time, couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pity for her. She always had so many confessions to deal with, Tzuyu barely had any time to breathe. 

Tzuyu, Dahyun and Chaeyoung walked down the halls to their lockers, getting their things ready for their next class. Tzuyu’s locker was next to Dahyun’s, though Chaeyoung’s was on the other side of the hallway. Dahyun watched Tzuyu open her locker, a few notes making their way fluttering to the floor as they didn’t have anything holding them back, and Tzuyu bent down to pick them each up carefully, taking the time to read them each. She may have not had feelings for them, but she didn’t mind the sweet, gushy words; she actually found herself smiling as she read the notes. Dahyun noticed it, and faintly smiled, before opening her own locker, not expecting anything. 

But to her surprise, a singular note fell forward onto the floor in front of her feet, and Dahyun’s eyebrows lifted up in surprise. Even Tzuyu paused her reading and looked at her curiously, noticing the note Dahyun was bending over to pick up. The note read; 

Hello! It’s me again. You might notice a few more notes throughout the day, and don’t worry, by the time you find the last note, you’ll know who I am. Get ready to be confessed to, Dahyun, ‘cause it’s coming :) 

-SM 

Dahyun felt her lips tugging into a smile, and Tzuyu looked at her weirdly. She slowly crept her head over Dahyun’s shoulder, and Dahyun just shrugged her off. “Pfft, I see someone has a crush on our Dubu,” She nudged Chaeyoung; Dahyun didn’t even notice she had already gathered her stuff and wandered her way over to them. 

“Yeah, just figured that out? It’s Sana, you know, the preppy girl who always stares at her during lunch,” Dahyun looked at her, silently asking what the hell she was talking about, and encouraged Chaeyoung to elaborate, “everyone knows but you. You’re the densest person we know, for real.” 

Tzuyu nodded her head in agreement, but Dahyun just shook her head and pushed her way past them, note shoved into her pocket with the other, one strap of her backpack flung over her shoulder. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu looked at each other and shrugged- nobody could help her but herself. 

Dahyun broke away from the group around lunch time, deciding to go to the library to sit where she’d normally sit and read for a while. She’d take breaks sometimes during the week and instead of sitting in the cafeteria for the whole lunch break, she’d come and read for around half of it, letting herself indulge in the silence and letting the words consume her mind, resting her brain and preparing for the rest of the day. This time around, though, she noticed her usual seat was taken, the seat she normally regarded as hers which sat comfortably by the window in the corner of the library, sun shining brilliantly showing off the deep red of the seat.  

Though, it wasn’t only showing off the burgundy seat this time around. There was a girl in the seat; it was an all too familiar girl for Dahyun. The girl had bright, bubblegum pink hair, soft expressive eyes, and a bright, clear face.  

When Dahyun noticed her, she instantly averted her eyes, backing away to sit in another, opposite, corner of the room. The said girl lifted her head from her book, and the two made eye contact. Unwanted on one end, and completely intentional on the other. The girl smiled brightly at Dahyun, and Dahyun stood there with an awkward smile, grinning back at her and lifting her hand shyly in a small wave. This coaxed the girl to get up and walk towards her, and all Dahyun could do was stand there and wait, eyes fluttering around the room before finally resting nervously on the girl’s face, who was now less than a couple feet away from her own. 

“Hi, you’re Dahyun, right?” The girl asked, light voice ringing out and settling in Dahyun’s ears. Dahyun paused for a few seconds, letting her brain process what the girl had asked, and then finally brought herself to reply. 

“Yeah, uh yeah, and you’re Sana, right?” Dahyun asked, though she already knew the answer. She cursed herself for almost stuttering in front of the girl, seeing as the light redness of her cheeks was already mortifying enough. She wasn’t used to being directly addressed by a cute, let alone popular girl so upfront. 

Sana giggled for a couple seconds, before nodding her head excitedly.  

Dahyun found it cute, and found her gaze lingering on the girl for a second longer than she thought it should’ve. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you or anything, but did you wanna join me for lunch?” Sana asked, looking into Dahyun’s eyes determinedly, an air of confidence around her that made Dahyun’s eyes falter to her eyebrow. “Unless you’re busy or hanging with your friends, of course, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” The older girl added shyly, the confidence that once surrounded her dissipating as she looked down, anticipating an answer from the pale girl.  

Dahyun looked at her dumbly for a solid few seconds, and when she noticed the girl had gotten silent, waiting there, she finally gathered herself enough to mumble out an answer, “Oh, uhm, yeah sure, let me just tell my friends that I won’t join them for lunch, and I’ll meet you back here in around 5 minutes?” Dahyun said, thanking god Jihyo that she didn’t fumble too much on her words. 

When she saw Sana look up, happy smile replacing her shy one, nodding vigorously, Dahyun let out a smile back, and backed away from her to go find her friends who she was sure were in the lunchroom. She wasn’t sure how much time she and Sana had, but since she had a break next block for a while, she had hoped Sana did too seeing as she had asked her in the first place. But even so, she wouldn’t deny the fact that the thought of hanging out with her made her heart race a little. 

--- * --- 

“Are you for real? You got asked out on a date by the Sana Minatozaki, and you’re just casually telling us this?!” Chaeyoung asked in disbelief, jaw nearly dropping to the floor after hearing the news. Dahyun just brought her hand up to her forehead and rubbed her temple, not up for hearing another rant from her best friend. She didn’t understand, in her head it wasn’t a date- even though Dahyun had no clue why she was the one Sana decided to walk up to, greet, and ask out for lunch-, the more she questioned in her head, the more it actually seemed like a date. It was better to not overthink it, she decided, or she may actually get her hopes up. At this point she was beyond confused, from the chocolates and flowers to the notes, and now this? Her brained worked overtime trying to fit all the pieces into a puzzle she knew would never be complete. 

Dahyun switched her glare over to Tzuyu for help, but the girl’s face nearly mirrored Chaeyoung’s; it screamed out confusion and disappointment. Dahyun just sighed, insisted it wasn’t a date, and walked away, ignoring how her friends were nearly yelling at her to come back and explain to her what exactly was going on in her brain that made her think it wasn’t in fact a date. 

Dahyun walked up the stairs coolly, making an effort to not seem peeved over her friends, but she hadn’t known just how nervous she had been. Sure, she had noticed Sana a handful of times; it was noticing how pretty she was, how kind she was, how caring and bubbly she had always been in any situations, but she, of course, never let her gaze linger longer than it had to. She knew of Sana, but she didn’t know her as well as she wanted to. But maybe this little lunch date was all she needed to finally get to know the girl, inside and out, and maybe even make a new friend in this conservative, hell hole of a school that her mother put her into. 

She walked into the library, expecting to notice Sana right off the bat, but instead she was met with an empty, lifeless room full of books, bean bags and some weird exercise things that nobody really seemed to ever use. Her gaze scattered around the room, flittering to the shelves, the corners and even the offices that the librarians situated themselves in, but a bubbly girl wasn’t seen anywhere. Just a few students minding their business hidden away in their books in another land, and a librarian eating her lunch peacefully in her office, not looking away from her computer.  

Dahyun sighed, divulging in the thought that maybe she had been, in fact, stood up. She felt her eyes wet with a fresh set of tears, and dragged her way out of the library, slowly bringing herself downstairs and towards the courtyard where she’d sit and listen to music wallowing in her self pity. She decided she wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone, even her friends at the moment. 

She willed her back to drag across the tree as she sat down, the shade shielding her from the violent sun and any onlookers who could see her. She let a few tears rush down her cheeks, onto the grass under her, but she buried her eyes in her book as a last-ditch effort to distract her rushing mind.  

The wind brushed past her face, cooling her warm cheeks, but along with the wind came a small note that stuck to her damp cheeks. Dahyun lifted her face and peeled the note off her face, pulling it close to her eyes to read, her contacts making her vision even more blurred than the tears had. She read the note. 

Hey, I’m sorry I missed you at the library. But I’m here now. Hello, Kim Dahyun, I’m your secret admirer. Look up, and you’ll see, 

SM. 

Dahyun slowly brought her eyes up, only to be met with another face inches away from her own. She backed up impossibly closer to the tree, back rubbing painfully against the bark, eyes wide and cheeks even redder, if not from the tears. 

“Sana w-what are you...” Dahyun trailed a bit, distracted by the way the sun seemed to dance in Sana’s eyes. Sana’s grin was playful, and she backed away only a little bit, and opted to sit next to the nervous girl instead, leaning her head on her shoulder. Normally Dahyun would be caught off guard, which she was, but for some reason it didn’t bother her. She rarely let herself get involved with skinship even from her best friends, and when she did, she must’ve been in a good mood, but this time around, she didn’t find any reason to mind. 

“Dahyun, did you figure it out?” Sana asked after a while. Dahyun figured it’d help her heart if she tried to focus on her book, but she found it increasingly difficult seeing as the book had been upside down the whole time. Sana noticed, but didn’t mention it to save the girl’s pride. 

“Yeah, I did,” Dahyun breathed out, the scent of Sana overwhelming her senses, bringing her into a reservoir that only the two seemed to fit in.  

Dahyun could’ve never imagined it. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, being right? It’s as rare as a pink moon, albeit impossible, yet it shockingly happened. She blamed herself for not seeing it sooner and letting herself drown in her own doubts and delusions. 

Sana sighed and closed her eyes, and Dahyun let her eyes linger on her face for a few seconds. She looked peaceful, almost like a child with how rested her features looked; innocent and soft. Dahyun forced her eyes to look away, flipping her book over and focusing on the words that seemed like a blur now, unable to focus with the words washing over her mind. Sana’s presence didn’t seem to allow her to focus, though, as she struggled to keep her brain occupied and off the smell of coconut and lemon zest, and the soft, gently feeling of a hand intertwined with her own; melding feelings with the warmth of the sun only to amplify everything. Dahyun was nearly overwhelmed, but her mind won over her heart and let her get control of herself. 

They needed to talk about this, and Dahyun especially wanted to know everything. From start to finish, she wanted to know. 

“How long?” Dahyun asked softly, voice barely above a whisper, but Sana’s face was close enough to hear her crystal clear.  

Sana softly cleared , keeping her eyes closed, but moving her head to rest closer into the crook of Dahyun’s neck, noticing that she smelled like vanilla and chocolate. Her brain kept that locked up. 

“I’ve liked you ever since the start of high school, really. I know it’s crazy, since that was so long ago, but you always stood out to me. You were mysterious, cool, always calm no matter what was thrown your way, and I admired that about you. You never let stupid rumors get in the way of your life, or at least you never showed how much it affected you. I could never do that- I could never be as strong as you,” Sana began, words hitting Dahyun’s neck like soft warm winds in the heat of summer. Dahyun shivered a bit, but nodded her head, letting Sana feel that she was listening. She was endeared. “And ever since then, I guess I kind of just noticed you a lot more? I noticed how pretty you were; how nice you were to your friends, you were funny, kind, gentle, and I found myself crushing hard,” Sana blushed, shutting her eyes tighter in embarrassment. Dahyun smiled, her own blush fighting it’s way up her neck and all the way to her ears. The new butterflies and warmth she felt was a sensation she’d never experienced, but she knew she liked, and she knew she’d never grow tired of it. It made her stomach squirm, but it made her feel fuzzy and comfy, something she’d never felt before. Comfortable, despite the fact that it was a fresh, unknown feeling, with a barely known person. “I know you don’t know me well, but I just—I at least want to be your friend,” Sana finished, shyly bringing her face off Dahyun’s neck and allowing herself to get lost in the younger girl’s dark brown eyes. Warm and dark, just like coffee, and maybe Sana would find herself craving coffee a lot more. 

Dahyun found this as her cue to speak up, but her voice was caught in . She stared into Sana’s light brown, hazel eyes, finding herself lost in the universe and trapped in a void, but she was brought out of Sana’s void when she heard the bell ring in the distance, signaling the end of break and the nearing beginning of their next class. Dahyun smiled apologetically at Sana, and finally found her voice. 

“I... I think I’d like that. To be your friend,” She noticed Sana’s features drop slightly, still keeping her smile clinging on her face. Dahyun’s guilt bit away at her own smile, and she continued before she could see Sana’s disappointment any more. “But you know, I don’t think I would, you know, mind if it developed more?” Dahyun stated more like a question, but her voice was firm and decided. Sana’s features nearly shined, and her eyes reflected her excitement. Dahyun found it cute, and she knows then and there for sure, that she really wouldn’t mind if it would develop. 

Sana’s grin cracked into a toothy smile, and she threw herself on Dahyun, embracing her into a bone-crushing hug. Dahyun just sat there, stupid smile in place, but didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around Sana’s figure. 

Maybe she would soon change her mind about Valentine’s day.