The first one wasn't even a kiss. Seungwan absolutely refuses to call it that no matter how much Yerim insists it was. The kid's a middle schooler anyway. What does she know.

 

That particular afternoon felt like hellfire on a desert so her friends thought it was only right to raid the closest convenience store for the coldest frozen goods they could find before making a mess in Seungwan's living room.

 

"I got the spoons!" Seulgi announces as she waltzes out of the kitchen.

 

"This isn't your house," Seungwan halfheartedly reminds them knowing it doesn't make any difference anyway.

 

As expected, Sooyoung, who is already seated, just pulls her inelegantly down to the floor with her and hands her a whole pint for herself.

 

"What's yours is ours and what's ours, you can borrow," she winks teasingly.

 

Seungwan immediately grabs the ice cream close to herself and grouches. "I'm not returning this. It's mine now, back off."

 

Sooyoung grins wide and Joohyun, sitting right next to her, giggles in amusement. Seungwan has a very ineffective glare that makes her look all too adorable. They won't say it out loud, though.

 

Yerim crawls lazily closer to them, finally deciding she's had enough screaming at the fan, and grabs her own pint. A flavor she loves all the more because one of them hates it with a passion.

 

"Mint Choco!" she celebrates.

 

Seungwan makes a face and scoots closer to Seulgi. She's never been a fan of that particular ice cream flavor. In fact, she would go as far to say she abhors it and both Sooyoung and Yerim would always go out of their way to for it in return, the little gremlins.

 

"Mint choco~ Mint choco~" Yerim chants, teasingly shoving the sweet on Seungwan's face as if she's trying to scare her.

 

"Get that toothpaste away from me!" the olde girl squirms, batting her hands recklessly to keep Yerim far from her.

 

Sooyoung clutches her stomach in laughter while Seulgi tries to calm Seungwan who's practically trying to mold herself into her side, as far as she could be from the dreaded flavor.

 

Joohyun swats at Yerim to stop and the youngest cackles from her belly without remorse, satisfied with the reaction she's gotten.

 

"You guys are children, I swear," Joohyun admonishes, though there's no mistaking the mischievously amused glint in her eyes.

 

"What flavor did you get, Wan?" Seulgi asks, trying to distract her best friend.

 

It works, too. 

 

As much as Seungwan can be easily riled up with anything she finds gross, she's also quick to latch onto the next nice thing that's given to her. She's never really mad for too long.

 

"Rainbow sherbet," she says, grabbing her cup and gratefully showing Seulgi. She knows what her bestfriend intended.

 

Seulgi smiles and tells her it looks yummy which Seungwan happily nods along to, taking a spoonful into and practically as the ice cream melts on her tongue.

 

"That good?" asks Joohyun, who has been contently watching from the sidelines, bemusedly.

 

"Yeah! Want some?"

 

Seungwan excitedly takes a spoonful and lifts it as an offer. Joohyun doesn't even think twice to open and eat it.

 

There's a collective silence among their friends that they don't even notice until Yerim squeals into one of her raucous, but very contagious, laughs.

 

"You guys just kissed!" she points at the two.

 

Sooyoung snorts and doesn't miss a beat, jumping into the teasing with one of those annoying K-I-S-S songs elementary kids sing to make fun. Seulgi, bless her, tries her best not to laugh with the younger girls but ultimately fails when she sees the look on Joohyun's face.

 

Seungwan starts telling off her friends when Joohyun doesn't say anything, which is slightly concerning now that she thinks about it. These kids are making their unnie uncomfortable!

 

"Just eat your ice creams!" she practically yells at the barely listening Sooyoung and Yerim who have now taken to trying to find out how many genre renditions of K-I-S-S-I-N-G songs they can make with a very amused Seulgi.

 

There's a gentle tap on her arm and Seungwan turns to see Joohyun shaking her head, a silent plea to let them be.

 

"They'll get tired of it eventually," she says.

 

She's right, of course. As usual.

 

The three of them practically fall to the floor in laughter until they find the next amusing thing.

 

Really, Seungwan doesn't know what the big deal is. It was just a shared spoon, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

The second time doesn't count. Sooyoung had pushed too hard and it really wasn't Wendy's fault she was born with poor reflexes.

 

It happened in a slumber party, something the younger girls insisted no one was too old to have. It's a direct hit at Joohyun's, Seulgi's and her ages, of course, because what else would their youngest friends do if not tease them. It's a lifestyle.

 

"Why are we at my house again?" Seungwan asks as she opens the door to Sooyoung.

 

"You're the only one of us who lives alone," the younger girl says, as she pushes the house owner through the hallway and into the living room where everything is set just as she had instructed.

 

"I don't live alone." Seungwan sighs having had this conversation but in a different context before. "My parents are just not around too often."

 

"Same difference," Sooyoung waves off.

 

It's really not, Seungwan wanted to answer but she knows it's gonna end up coming right out of the younger girl's other ear anyway.

 

Everyone else is already here. Sooyoung's the last one to arrive, something the said girl had shamelessly called being "fashionably late" to which Wendy rolled her eyes at.

 

It goes well for the most part. They had mattresses laid down on the expensive looking wooden floors right in front of the giant TV where a movie nobody pays attention to is playing.

 

"Truth or dare time!" announced Yerim, grabbing a half empty bottle of water.

 

Joohyun groans from where she's comfortably lying down on, a bowl of popcorn placed on her stomach as she pretends to actually watch the stupid movie.

 

"I'm not moving from here," she says with in a tone that challenges anyone who even thinks to oppose.

 

Not that it intimidates the youngest two at the very least.

 

"Come on, grandma! Don't be boring," Sooyoung boos.

 

"Yeah grandma, move your !" Yerim adds, waving around her water bottle wildly.

 

"Grandma," Seulgi snorts only to receive a kick from a glaring Joohyun. "Why me?" she complains.

 

"You're the closest," Joohyun replies simply.

 

Soon, the living room is noisy with the back and forth of wits and playfully snide comments that has Seulgi and Seungwan cackling at the sides. In moments like this it's always best to have minimal involvement, they both had agreed.

 

Then, just as these things go, the inevitable happens. The first pillow lands on Joohyun's face, miraculously sparing the popcorn. Yerim's shrill laugh nearly echoes through the walls as she gleefully pats herself in the back for a job well done.

 

Joohyun calmly places the bowl of popcorn on the side before picking up the pillow from her face, a slow reveal of a deadly glare that threatened a perfect precision.

 

Sooyoung grabs the nearest pillow to fight back just as fast as Yerim brandishes another one, posing like one of those martial arts masters on old kung fu movies. Seulgi and Seungwan, for their part, scrambles for their own pillows for protection.

 

There's a scream to begin and a lot of laughter as the five girls move around fearlessly, throwing and evading as many pillows possible.

 

"It's war!" someone declares though at this point it's too difficult to distinguish one voice from another with so much going on all at once.

 

Which is exactly why when Sooyoung pushes a pillow behind Seungwan, the latter loses her balance and, to her utter bad luck, topples over the closest person next to her. Bae Joohyun.

 

It's like one of those cliché scenes in movies when time slows down as feathers float around and the music goes quiet.

 

It was only for a split second. Seungwan's lips had brushed against Joohyun's for a split second. Luckily for them, everyone else is too busy laughing at the fallen casualties before even thinking of asking if they're okay.

 

True friends indeed.

 

Seungwan scrambles to get up as if she had been seared with a burning feeling she refuses to name. She consciously bites at her lips, face red as she regards the quiet Joohyun who doesn't seem to be reacting much.

 

Except for being pissed at Sooyoung, maybe. She claims something about cheating with a few added expletives and, predictably, another bout of banter ensues.

 

True enough, if there's anything Joohyun hates the most in this world, that would be losing a game.

 

For some reason, there's a heaviness in her chest that makes Seungwan feel like she's lost something more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The third time, Seungwan would blame on too many sleepless nights and the lack of caffeine.

 

Something had shifted since that fateful night. Not in a bad way, though. They're still Seungwan and Joohyun to their friends. When they're by themselves, on the other hand, it feels... different.

 

Exams week feels so long and Seungwan has the added pressure of overachieving and the constant insecurity of not being enough.

 

Needless to say it's been day three of her sleeping barely two hours every night to stay up and revise, revise, revise.

 

Her friends tell her this is unhealthy and she needs to take a break once in a while. This means Seulgi and Joohyun are forced to sleepover at her house again because Sooyoung and Yerim have their own middle school exams to worry about.

 

"Seulgi's asleep," Joohyun comments as she enters the bedroom with a warm mug in her hand.

 

She had gone out earlier to clean up their mess from the snacks they had been munching on, not that Seungwan would remember since she had been nose deep into thermodynamics.

 

Joohyun places the mug on the table right where Seungwan would not accidentally bump into it. Unlike Seungwan, she has more self control and actually takes care of herself even with mounting pressure.

 

"Thanks unnie," she sighs, mouth forming a smile at the warm mug of milk thoughtfully made just for her.

 

"You look tired," Joohyun frowns.

 

"That's why you got me milk, right?" she chuckles. "I'll just finish up on this chapter and then I'm done for the night."

 

The bedside analog flashes midnight. Joohyun gives her a meaningful look, as if daring her to lie. If Seungwan means what she said, this would be her earliest to retire for the entire week.

 

"Don't push yourself too much," she soon tells Seungwan softly.

 

Seungwan nods her head, rubbing at her closed eyes in an effort to stave off the tiredness seeping into her bones.

 

Then she feels it.

 

A familiar scent envades her space and she feels a quick warm press of lips on her cheek.

 

Joohyun is already by the bed when she opens her eyes, calmly cleaning up the snoring Seulgi's study materials before pulling up a blanket over their sleeping friend.

 

Seungwan touches her cheek, warm like Joohyun's old thoughtfully knitted sweater in the winter that she still wears in secret.

 

Something has definitely shifted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fourth, she doesn't stop thinking about.

 

The fan whirred away as they all try to get settled in. The movie's ready and the snacks are calling.

 

"What are we watching?" Joohyun placed herself between Seungwan and Seulgi, the two people she depended on the most especially during unsettling situations. 

 

In this case, Yerim's holding the remote. Chances are none of them are safe.

 

"So I found this really old movie called Shutter and everyone said I was missing out for not knowing about it!"

 

Yerim gestures dramatically as if she had been fed the mother of all insults. She's probably browsing one of those questionable websites she's too young to be in and she doesn't doubt Sooyoung would be somehow involved.

 

Sometimes, Seungwan wonders if she should worry about these two. 

 

Speaking of which.

 

"Where's Sooyoung?" she asks the youngest.

 

The doorbell rings before Yerim could answer and the youngest bolts to open the door as if she's the one who actually lives in this house.

 

Then again, with how often they come over, Seungwan's friends might as well change their address to here.

 

Somehow, that evokes something unsettling in her guts. She loves her friends and all but she's not sure if she can survive their youngest duo for more than a few hours a day.

 

Sooyoung gets pushed by an excited Yerim to sit in the sofa where the three older kids are crowded.

 

"I have chips," Sooyoung says, raising the paper bag she had with her.

 

Seulgi dives in and make a dibs on the pringles as if anyone else would take that from her. Really, no one messes with Seulgi and her pringles. They have collectively agreed a long time ago that those are sacred for their friend. Everyone else takes a snack of their own while Yeri draws the curtains close and turns the light off.

 

"For maximum scare," she says ominously before squeezing herself into the four person pile right between Seulgi and Sooyoung. For protection, she said.

 

This is not gonna end well, Seungwan thinks to herself. The last time Yerim made them watch Alice in Borderland, she nearly lost her hearing with everyone screaming at the same time. And that was just gore! This one is full on horror.

 

The movie is creepily realistic that Seungwan can feel herself getting drawn into the story while wanting to look away at the same time. When the forst horrifying scene comes on, Seungwan nearly screams when she feels a sudden strong grip on her arm and long hair over her shoulders.

 

It takes her a couple of seconds to realize it's Joohyun burying her face into her, silently whimpering in fear.

 

Seungwan feels the bloodflow in her arm start to get cut so she gently loosens the older girl's grip. Joohyun looks at her as if she's done the biggest betrayal. It triggers something protective inside Seungwan that she immediately repositions her arm around the older girl in a half embrace.

 

Joohyun buries her face back into her neck this time, finding comfort in Seungwan and trying her best to ignore the horrified screams from their friends and the noises of the TV.

 

Then it happens.

 

She had been paying attention to the show and occasionally rubbing Joohyun's back during loud scenes when she feels something soft against her neck, something familiar.

 

At first, Seungwan chucks it off to imagination.

 

But it happens again on her jaw, more solid and definite this time.

 

"Thank you," she hears Joohyun whisper almost inaudibly.

 

They turn to each other, eyes locked and gazes charged. Seungwan finds herself unable to look away. She feels the energy throb through her body, goosebumps awakening at the touch of Joohyun's warm breath. Her gaze flicker from mesmerizing depths of brown to enticingly bitten lips and she's tempted, so tempted to just dive into the moment.

 

Seungwan instead turns to press her lips on Joohyun's forehead and murmurs "You're welcome."

 

 

 

 

 

The fifth is the first of many.

 

It's late in the afternoon when Seungwan finishes with show choir practice. They have a competition to attend soon and she has a solo to be ready for. She's not scared. In fact, she's excited. The tense nerves radiating beneath her skin is overpowered by the anticipation of finally performing on a big stage.

 

She had told her friends immediately when she got the news. Sooyoung about how all the awards she's getting will be too heavy for her to grow any taller. Yerim just told her to kick the competition's , in words more crass and Seungwan would loathe repeating.

 

That night was a fun dinner with Seulgi being vocally supportive and Joohyun trying to get everyone under control before they get kicked off the restaurant.

 

Speaking of Joohyun, Seungwan makes a detour after waving goodbye to her show choir friends.

 

The student council office isn't too far from their club room, just a few doors down. Before she even gets there, she can already see Joohyun's figure standing by the door.

 

She must have just finished council duties  Seungwan thinks to herself.

 

"Hey," Joohyun greets as soon as their eyes meet.

 

"Hey back," Seungwan grins.

 

They had been walking home together more than usual. Mostly it's because their respective school activities finish at the same time. Other times, they wait for the other to finish and just hang around.

 

"I hear there's a new ice cream shop outside right by your favorite ttokbokki stall," Seungwan says as they walk through the halls.

 

"Your treat?" Joohyun teases.

 

"Considering you're always paying for the five of us, why not?" Seungwan smiles back good naturedly.

 

The more time they spend with just the two of them, the easier they find conversation between them flow. Even the silent ones. Something about that is significant somehow.

 

"Are you sure you're allowed to have ice cream, though?" Joohyun asks knowing about the diet restrictions Seungwan has to observe before the competitions.

 

"As long as we don't damage our vocal chords or eat anything that will send us to a hospital, it's fine," the younger waves off.

 

"But it's cold," Joohyun looks at her worriedly.

 

"I'll have a tiny one," Seungwan reassures her.

 

Joohyun gives her a look that tells her to keep her promise and Seungwan smiles back as if to say she will. Wordless, but understood.

 

The ttokbokki place is a cozy little stall by the park just a couple blocks away from school. It's Joohyun's favorite food, one that she always picks no matter where they are as long as it's on the menu. Seulgi calls it loyalty. Sooyoung and Yerim calls her old. Joohyun will defend herself and call it her first love.

 

They get ttokbokki first, of course. Joohyun will not have Seungwan eating dessert without eating real food first. They sit on one of the nearby picnic tables next to each other, leaving the other side empty.

 

"This is so good," Joohyun groans, eyes closed as she lets the flavor overwhelm her senses.

 

"You always say that," giggles Seungwan.

 

"Because it's always true," Joohyun responds without missing a beat.

 

Seungwan stares at her amusedly as she enjoys her meal as if she's been starved for a thousand years. Joohyun makes a lot of random noises when she's happy and Seungwan simply likes to watch her being carefree.

 

They finish soon enough. Seungwan volunteers to get them ice cream but Joohyun insists to come with. In the end, they both join the long line of customers in the shop.

 

"How did you find out about this place anyway?" Joohyun asks, turning back to face Seungwan.

 

"Sejeong told me," she says honestly.

 

A look passes through Joohyun's face but is gone before Seungwan could even attempt to catch a glance of, let alone decipher. Joohyun is pretty adept at keeping her emotions in check.

 

"She invited you?" Joohyun asks in a small voice.

 

Well, so much for control. Seungwan won't say it out loud but Joohyun looks adorable when she's jealous. Still, it's best to keep the insecurities at bay if not to get rid of.

 

"She went with her girlfriend," she tells the older girl.

 

"Oh."

 

Joohyun turns back to the line again and Seungwan smiles at the small burst of energy that the older girl has regained.

 

They decide to eat their frozen goods outside. The picnic table they had occupied isn't available anymore so they take to walking around the park until they find a free bench.

 

"I can't believe you ordered vanilla," Seungwan comments at Joohyun's ice cream cone.

 

Joohyun points at Seungwan's small ice cream cup and says, "You ordered rainbow sherbet again."

 

"Touché."

 

The thing is that Joohyun will order different flavors but will stick to the basic ones while Seungwan will pick one experimental flavor and will keep ordering that for as long as her tongue doesn't complain.

 

The best part of it all is that since they don't order the same thing, they can always share their ice creams with each other.

 

"I still can't believe Yerim said we kissed because of that stupid spoon," Seungwan says offhand.

 

Joohyun chuckles at the frown on the younger's face that's slowly turning into a pout. Seungwan likes to believe she isn't cute but moments like this, when she doesn't mean to be, Seungwan is always the cutest. 

 

"Yerim just likes teasing you," Joohyun tells her, "and I can see why."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Joohyun's bites the secret on her lips. She's not gonna tell her of course. If Seungwan finds out then she might stop. Joohyun likes seeing her adorable expressions too much to lose them.

 

"You guys are so mean," Seungwan huffs when she realizes she's not getting anything.

 

She's met with a laugh, Joohyun's eyes curving into pretty little crescents as she faces the younger girl. Seungwan steals a bite of her ice cream in retaliation, failing to dodge the instinctive hit that follows without regrets 

 

"Deserved," she says with a mouthful.

 

Joohyun scoffs and rolls her eyes, not meaning any of it. It's the principle of the thing.

 

"Messy," she says. Joohyun uses a thumb to gently brush away the smudge around her supple lips, pressing a little more on the last wipe right at the corner. She brings it to her own mouth and it away as if nothing's amiss.

 

As she didn't just reduce Seungwan's lifespan less than ten years and lit her heart on fire.

 

"Your ice cream's melting," Joohyun points out, soft voice penetrating the depths of her burgeoning imagination and effectively shaking her from her stupor.

 

"Y-yeah," Seungwan stutters, regaining her consciousness and forcing herself to be present.

 

"You know," says Joohyun's voice, melodious, "I would say yes if you asked."

 

There's a pounding in Seungwan's ears that she belatedly realizes is from the screams in her chest. Could it be? What does it mean? She needs to find out, fast.

 

"I–"

 

"Ice cream," Joohyun supplements when all Seungwan could produce is a broken syllable.

 

"Oh."

 

That's what she meant. Seungwan stares at the small ice cream cup in her hand, suddenly tired of the way it tastes.

 

"Or you could just kiss me so we won't have to, what did Yerim call it, indirect kiss?" Joohyun says casually. "I'm almost done and don't want to walk back and get more ice cream."

 

Oh.

 

Ohhhh.

 

Seungwan nearly breaks her neck turning towards Joohyun, eyes wide as she tries to process and re-process those words and what they mean and did she mean it? Is she dreaming?

 

"Did I break you?" Joohyun chuckles, one of her eyebrows coming alive to mean she's teasing.

 

"No, no," Seungwan shakes her head as if trying to dislodge the many, many thoughts suddenly occupying her brain.

 

"Seungwan," Joohyun says with that calmingnl voice of hers, hand reaching out to touch the younger girl's own cold ones.

 

Their fingers slip together naturally as if it's a well practiced dance. It might as well be, considering the number of times their hands found each other when they're together. It's seamless, perfect.

 

The last rays of the sun casts golden on Joohyun's face giving her an even more alluring glow that is almost reverent. Seungwan would have worshipped her then and there is she were allowed to.

 

And the waiting look on Joohyun's face says she is.

 

"Can I kiss you," Seungwan asks nervously, hoping against hope she doesn't mess up before they cak even begin.

 

Joohyun tugs her closer in response, both of them slowly leaning until they can feel their breaths on each other's lips.

 

Seungwan's eyes flicker slowly to a close, the image of Joohyun's sweet face lingers on her lids as she closes the final distance and finally, finally kiss the girl.