Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual)

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / !baek / idiots to lovers / UNRESOLVED

A/N: DON'T YELL AT ME ABOUT THE TENSION. I KNOW IT!!! Be nice.

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Nothing had changed. 

Nothing outwardly had changed. Baekhyun moved about as he always did. 

Nothing had changed at all about your home life and yet you had been stumbling around on two unsteady feet for the past week with this new and terrible ache building inside of your belly and yet, nothing had actually changed. It was a longing. A desire to possess something that you could not have. 

It was as if the realization that you loved him and had loved him for a long time had turned up the brightness on your view of him. He was luminous. You’d been wearing dark shades for so long and when you took them off you were blinded by him.

You were aware that you were acting weird around him. How could you not be aware; it was turning into an obsession at this point. You woke early and slept late, eager to find any reason to be around him for the simple pleasure of watching him. 

Things you’d found annoying in the past, his crazed deafening outbursts while gaming; the sloppy way he took too-big bites and stuffed his cheeks with food as he chewed, barely able to close his lips; the half dazed foot shuffles through your home at two in the afternoon when he’d just rolled out of his bed and moved like a zombie toward the fridge for water and sausages from the cupboards; all of these things that made you roll your eyes before were now doing something else to you that you couldn't excuse. You found yourself smiling just thinking about him. You were looking at him now with new eyes. Eyes that were biased and eyes that were crazy.

You were so very drawn to him.  

It felt like a new hobby; 5am wake up with a buzzing alarm on your phone, shower, change, slip over to his door and press an ear to the wood for a chance to catch the sounds of his voice speaking into an ear piece to someone on the other side of the world. A soft knock against the wood and a low voice, his grunted voice returning your knock and you’d slip into his space for what you could only describe as a sick voyeuristic chance to watch him play his game. You just wanted to look at him. The urge was so strong; to see him. You just wanted to look at nothing but him; the first thing you saw in the morning and the last thing you saw at night. 

Baekhyun would turn around to look at you as you crawled sleepily into his bed and you’d pretend to fall asleep until he turned back to his game and then you would just watch him. 

You liked the shape of him when he sat at his desk. You liked the broadness of his shoulders and the curve of the back of his head. How could his back be so attractive? He had a strong and reliable back. You felt an immeasurable comfort in the rapid, rhythmic sound of his fingers typing on his keyboard and the way he lowered his voice into his headset when he thought you were sleeping in his bed behind him. Sometimes you’d actually drift off though. Lulled into a deep comfortable sleep that felt so much better than any sleep you’d managed in your own bed until you’d be lightly roused by a hand on your shoulders and the sound of his voice calling your name in a whisper.

“Bug, it’s almost time for work,” he would urge and you would groan and stretch, surprised that you had slept so well. 

You’d stay there every possible second until you had to report to your work on your own computer. 

It was late in the afternoon on a Thursday. The weather had been cold and miserable all week but through your window for the first time all season you felt the warm sun rays landing against your face. How long had it been since you felt the sunshine? You thought perhaps this called for a celebration. Maybe winter would be short this year and you could celebrate a little early with a dinner time barbecue out on the terrace. You knew the wind might still be cold despite that warm sunshine that peeked through the cloud cover but you could handle that much. 

It was your turn to make dinner and you hit the final keys on your work assignments and rushed through your room getting ready for a quick trip to the market. You’d get some meat for grilling, some delicious fresh veggies and maybe a bottle of alcohol to sip on. Nothing too crazy, you didn't really trust yourself drunk. 

Outside, the air was crisp but at least it wasn’t raining, or worse, snowing. This would do just fine.

When you returned from the market with your arms full of shopping bags your happiness about the unseasonably warm weather outside and your excitement for a tiny cook-out spread rapidly to your roommate who was happily pulling on a soft cable-knit sweater to go outside with his little bluetooth speaker as he set up the portable grill out on the patio table. 

The buzz you felt inside of your chest while watching him was incomparable. His smile was wide and beautiful. His teeth were white and perfect and the way his eyes closed up when he really got to smiling wide made your heart do little flips. You couldn't contain your own wide smile when his eyes bounced over to touch yours and that smile on his lips pulled even wider — it sent a jolt straight through you — he was electric. He was a lightning bolt and you felt so high up, of course you were hit first. 

The meat was sizzling on the grill and Baekhyun was sitting across the table from you just watching as you snipped the long strips of pork and beef into smaller bite size chunks with scissors and flipped them with long cooking tongs when they started to turn brown. 

He was unusually quiet as you worked and it took nearly all of your fortitude to keep from staring at his face openly with an obvious love struck expression. You were thankful that it was your turn to cook this dinner and Baekhyun didn’t even try to take the tongs away from you and take over the grilling. At least you had something to do that wasn’t just staring into the softness you caught in his eyes across the table. You wondered what had to be on his mind that made him look at you this way. 

Some of the meat was done and you moved it toward a cooler section of the grill pan, motioning with your tongs toward the quiet man to grab it and eat it but he just sat there with a disconnected look on his face.

He was moving so slowly today. Maybe he wasn't that hungry. You hoped it wasn’t getting too cold out here now that the sun was slipping lower in the sky. 

When he didn't immediately move, you sighed and grabbed a piece of lettuce, wrapping the meat inside with some veggies and some of the fillings you knew he liked and you stood up in your seat, holding the wrap up to his face, expecting him to lean forward and grab it with his hands and begin eating already.

When he finally did move it was preceded by a bright smile and he leaned forward and opened his mouth, grabbing the food firmly between his lips, he bit down with his teeth and you felt the brush of his soft lips against your fingertips as he took the bite of food into his mouth straight from your hand. 

You could feel the warmth and it was instant. As if someone had a space heater in front of your chest and turned it on full blast. 

The ghost of that tiny brush of his lips against your fingers lingered and your mind grabbed hold of it, echoing the sensation again and again with each pound your heart made inside of your chest. 

Baekhyun was chewing and he hummed out in appreciation at the deliciousness of the meal you’d provided. You lifted your glass of wine to your lips to hide the smile that took over your face and you noticed he finally picked up his own chopsticks and began building himself another bite to eat.  He was grabbing meat, two pieces, added a dab of sauce on top and grabbed a few delicious additions and he was carefully wrapping the tasty package into a tight ball with his fingertips. 

You’d just swallowed the wine and had looked down to flip the meat when you caught his movement. He stood from his chair and he leaned, in the exact same way as you had done and you laughed out loud at the sweet expression you saw on his face as he held the food up to your face. 

“Ahh,” he said and you leaned forward to receive his offering. 

When your lips parted, his fingers pushed forward and your brain buzzed in chaos when his thumb grazed slowly along your bottom lip. He moved too slowly. His fingertips lingered. You let out a breath of air through your nose and his fingers did not break contact with your lips until you’d closed your mouth up and started to chew the food he’d given you. 

You felt as if your face was burning. You chewed quickly, hardly even tasting the food that was in your mouth as your eyes tracked his movement; you could not look away from him if you tried. He sat back in his chair with his empty hand held up and the pad of his thumb brushing back and forth over his fingertips, the fingers that had just touched your mouth so carelessly and as he sank into his seat he brought his hand up to absentmindedly touch along his bottom lip. 

Your thoughts were fuzzy. Everything outside of his brown eyes took on a soft dreamlike blur.

The eye contact he was holding broke suddenly and he inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, dropped his hand from his lips and looked down at the table of food spread out before you both. 

He had a glass of ice water beside him and he lifted it to pull the cooling liquid into his mouth. 

You watched the way his jaw worked when he swallowed. You watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out. 

You had lived with Baekhyun for more than two years and you’d never been quite this affected by the man having a drink of water before. 

He set the empty glass down roughly on the table and the noisy thud the glass made woke you from the silent reverie. It sharpened your mind and lit a match under your tongue fueled by a growing curiosity that had been filling up your every waking thought lately.

“Baekhyun,” your voice came out a whisper and the sound of his name made his eyebrows lift and he looked across the table at you. “Have you ever fallen in love?” 

You weren’t sure where this question came from or why you were suddenly so bold to ask him such a thing, but you were burning with curiosity about the man. Maybe it was the half of a glass of wine that had already made its way into your bloodstream as you sat here and picked at this delicious meal you shared with him. 

He was chewing now and the corners of his lips had turned up into a small smile as he looked across the table at you. 

There was a strange pause in his movement to reach for the water pitcher so he could refill his glass. 

“Yes,” he said softly after he swallowed his food he continued his reaching, finding the pitcher and pouring more water inside his empty glass. His small answer quenched a small bit of the thirst you had inside of you and this new found knowledge about him made you feel warm inside. 

He drank and you smiled wide and genuine, somehow elated at the idea that he’d felt this wonderful feeling at one point in his life. The idea that this beautiful man knew exactly how good this feeling of love was; it made your head swim. 

You reached for your wine again, draining the rest of your glass and immediately followed it with a big spoon of rice to somehow combat the alcohol with the only weapon you had to fight it. If only the wine hadn’t tasted so damn sweet on your tongue. You’d drank the glass too quickly and you considered the waiting bottle that sat beside you on the table, begging you to give in to just one more glass. 

“Have you?” 

It was Baekhyun’s turn to ask now and you turned away from the begging bottle to look into that tempting softness he had in his eyes. What was this mood he had fallen into? Was it the sunset? The clouds rolling in front of the setting sun created a beautiful scene. You saw purple, blue, red, and bright orange. The view was absolutely perfect.

“Have you ever fallen in love?” 

His voice was so quiet and the warmth of his tone was enveloping you entirely. 

“Yes,” you said. You reached for the bottle and tapped into some source of super-human self control you hadn’t known you had in you; you poured only half a glass. 

This one, you would sip. For your own good, for the love of God, you would sip it. 

“How do you love someone?” Baekhyun had leaned forward in his seat and his eyes tracked the movement of your glass as you lifted it to your lips and you took your first sip. Sweet wine, sweet man with sweet looks in his eyes and sweet questions on his lips. For the first time you wondered if you might be in real danger of making a mistake tonight. 

Your brain kicked in. He was asking you important life questions now and you looked upward toward the darkening sky as you pondered this. This must be one of his life lesson questions. Maybe he wanted some advice on how to treat a girl he loved properly. You considered your words thoughtfully. 

“Umm...I think...people show they love someone by—”

“No, not that,” he interrupted your answer, stopping you with a raised hand. Then he pointed a finger across the table toward you, “not other people. How do you love someone, Bug? What is your love like?” 

Oh. 

It was such a raw question. 

You were suddenly thankful for the wine you’d already had to drink because you’d never been asked something like this. Not by him or by anyone. In fact, you’d never even thought about it. 

How were you, when you were in love. What kind of a lover were you? He was watching you as you considered and your lips opened and closed twice as you tried to think of the perfect answer to this very difficult question.

You thought about your past relationships. Honestly it was hard to remember the good in hindsight. The bad times seemed to jump out at you. The childish way you sometimes acted, the selfish things you’d done and blamed it all on love at the time. Maybe you had been too young to really know what love was. This was part of the reason why you felt so resistant to it. You’d never had a love that hadn't turned bad and burned you from the inside. Maybe you just weren't cut out for love. 

And now, with him, the pining, the scheming, the watching, and daydreaming. The fantasies of his touch, of his laugh, of his kiss. Going out of your way to make him smile. Little things you would do just to get him to look at you. The ache you felt in your fingers to touch him. The sweet satisfaction of actually doing it. You’d do anything for it. For him. You’d been doing anything; slipping into his bed just to smell him all around you. 

“Shameless,” you said out loud — because you’d do anything. You didn’t even know what you were capable of yet but you felt like a dangerous woman just thinking about it. 

His focus drifted and he exhaled a puff of air through his lips. You heard the smallest chuckle from his throat and a smile pulled at his lips.

“Shameless?” He asked with a bounce of his eyebrows. His water glass was in his hand and he lifted and poured the last few drops into his mouth. It had been hardly anything at all and you watched him curiously as you forced another bite of rice down your throat. 

“What does that mean? How do you love shamelessly? Explain that to me.”

You’d been watching his hands as he talked. There was an electricity buzzing around in his eyes that felt almost challenging and you’d expected him to reach for the water pitcher again to add another tiny sip to his glass and make a big show of drinking it down but instead of reaching for it, his hand shot across the table to grip around the neck of the wine bottle. 

You were positively transfixed. He lifted the bottle and brought it to his side of the table and you heard the glass spout clink against the rim of his empty glass and the steady glug glug glug of liquid poured too fast through the sm