Image on the right: A Young Lady’s Adventure by Paul Klee, 1922

It's cold, was the first thought that came to my mind as I stepped into the pavillion.

My eyes roamed around to observe the falling snow outside. I looked at my smart watch on my left wrist to check the date. It's December 25th and my 29th winter in Daegu.

And probably my last.

I inhaled sharply when all my memories came flashing back in my mind. Now's not the time for this, Joohyun.

I held my coat tightly as the cool wind passed by towards me. Slowly, I walked through the path that heads towards the hospital. Where it all began.

And hopefully, will end.

"Joohyun unnie?" I heard a voice called me from behind. I looked where the voice came from and saw my friend and colleague, Yeri. I smiled at her timidly and offered a bow.

"Yeri-ssi," was the only thing that came out of my mouth. What was I supposed to say, anyways?

She spoke nothing else and gave me a warm and comforting hug. Well, that's how it was supposed to feel but I felt nothing. My heart didn't swell, it didn't jump from happiness nor it comforts me. I just feel...nothing. That thought should scare me but surprisingly-- or not, I didn't really feel anything. Just like an empty shell.

"How are you, Hyun?"

How am I? I, myself, also didn't know the answer. I'm feeling everything and nothing at the same time. How am I indeed.

"I-i'm feeling just fine, Yeri-ssi," I lied to her, offering a tight-lipped smile as a consolation. She gave me a light pat on both shoulders and stared at my eyes which I returned.

"Everything would be alright, Hyun."

Would it really? I doubt that would happen.

I only smiled at her and bowed to bid my farewell. I ascended using the stairs because the elevator scares me. I really despised being locked in a tight space. It makes me very anxious and makes me think of scary thoughts that'll keep me up late at night.

When I reached the office, I knocked twice to let her know of my presence. I heard her shuffling inside as I patiently waited. A couple of minutes passed by and finally, I heard her calling up my name. I opened the door and saw her fixing up her own tie. Suspicious.

"Bae Joohyun? To what do I owe this visit in this ungodly hour?" she joked while I remained unfazed.

"Park Sooyoung-ssi, I'd like to give you this," I simply said while reaching out the envelope to her. She hesitantly accepted the envelope and brought out the letter.

"A resignation letter," she dumbly stated as if it was the first time she held one. I nodded at her while she looked at me.

"Care to explain why?" she carefully asked. I sighed internally. It was nobody's business to begin with.

"It's personal, Sooyoung-ssi."

"And I think, we're way past that," she comfortably laid back at her chair. I slightly frowned at her choice of words. We're not exactly close nor mere acquaintants. Just somewhere between.

"Is it because of Seu-"

"It's not," I accidentally snapped at her. I immediately felt sorry when I saw how she winced at my words. I unconciously bit my lip and thought of a way to take back what I did. You can't and you never will just like--

Stop. I told my mind. Don't dwell on the past, Joohyun.

"It's not," I softly sighed at Sooyoung. I saw pity in her eyes. You despised it, don't you my dear Joohyun? I closed my eyes shut to stop the voice inside my head.

"I'm sorry Joohyun."

"I-it's fine... Just, just sign the needed papers," I softly whispered at her. Can't wait to leave this hole, don't you my lovely Joohyun?

"Stop!" I blurted out. Sooyoung left her pen hanging on the air as she looked at me, confusion etched on her face.

"Pardon?"

"N-nothing," I timidly said while looking at my worned out shoes. It used to be hers too, Joohyun.

I secretly bit my tongue to stop myself from screaming. I just want to stop this voice inside my head.

"Here you go, Hyun," she carefully handed the papers to me which I gladly accepted. I respectfully bowed to her and swiftly turned around. As I was reaching the door, she called me. Slowly, I turned my head at her.


"I'm sorry."

With that, I simply left. I'm never gonna look back again. Not after what happened.

 

A year had passed. Fast, unlike the heavy traffic here in the Philippines. I decided to live here when my friend Solar suggested this place.

Flashback 13 months ago

"Why would I live there?" I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at her. She just shrugged at me and continued on drinking her 'health juice.'

"That drink is disgusting," I honestly stated. She looked at me as if I grew another head on my face.

"Are you ing kidding me?" she whispered-yelled and I just looked at her. Poker face.

"It really IS disgusting. Imagine putting kale, banana, brocolli, blueberries and whatnot on that hell of a drink. That's a in' nighmare."

"Hey! Take back what you said, my girlfriend prepared this for me," she whined. I just ignored her and observed the outside of Byul's cafe. That's Solar's girlfriend, by the way.

"Back to my question..."

"Of course you should live there! It's very near here and I can visit you from time to time--ow! What in the hell?!" she complained, still rubbing the reddish spot on her forehead.

"You. Are. Not. Following. Me. There," I put an emphasis on the 'following' part but it seemed like that threat already flew out of her mind.

"Whatever Hyun. But seriously though, it's great if you live there. Well, not exactly career-wise but you could help many people there," she reasoned out while I'm drinking.

"What do you mean?"

"You're a resident doctor, am I right?" I just nodded, not knowing where this is heading.

"Bingo! You could volunteer at this medical mission my dear friend," she excitedly said while searching for something on her Louis Vitton bag. She happily handed me a... pamphlet?

"Who uses pamphlets nowadays," I said, amused. Oh wow, it's hand-made too. Creative, I dare say.

"You're a very judgemental woman, Bae Joohyun."

"No, I'm just practical," I quipped. She just clicked her tongue in annoyance that made me smile internally. I examined all the information.

"A medical mission on a rural place for a two and a half years," I stated in a matter of fact. She nodded excitedly.

"Isn't that what you want? You could help other people while moving on from Seu-"

"I get it, Yongsun," I cut her off. Hearing her name just makes me angry and sad. Solar smiled at me in apology.

"Just-- just think of that offer, okay?"

"Of course and thank you, Yongsun," I reached for her hand and smiled, "this means a lot for me."

"Doc Bae?" I immediately snapped back to reality. I cleared my throat and smiled at my young patient. I think she's still attending highschool.

"Sorry, can you repeat what you're saying again? I didn't quite catch everything" I asked in their native language, albeit broken because I'm still learning it.
 

"Doc, sumasakit po kasi 'yung sikmura ko."

"Sikmura?" I asked dumfoundedly. Everyday, it surprises me how I always forget important things in my own expertise. Damn anatomy.

"She said there are painful sores on her stomach lining, Doc Bae. It's probably her acid reflux acting up again," a familiar playful voice emerged from behind. I internally rolled my eyes just at the sound of her voice.

"Hello, Seulgi-ssi," I said in korean and as usual, she just laughed cheerfully at me just like any other day.

"We're outside our own country, Joohyun. Just greet me how they greet people here," she flashed her infamous eye smile.

"How?"

"Oh you know, the usual, like a kiss on cheek," she cutely pointed at her chubby cheek.

"Don't kid me, Seulgi. They only do that with their friends and family."

"Aren't we friends?" she innocently asked like a lost child.

"We're not," I flatly said. I heard everyone around us giggled at our exchange as Seulgi dramatically gasped and faked a cry.

"너무해! 너무해! (Neomuhae-->You're too much)" She cried while dancing the iconic dance move from Twice. I snorted at her childish antics while attending my patient's needs.

"Does she need to take this opera soul three times a day?" she asked while looking at the prescription of my patient which is also a student of hers. I snorted at her mistake.

"It's omeprazole, Miss Seulgi," I said to her as a matter fact. As expected, she immediately turned beet red as she hid her face using her hair.

 

"Hey I saw that," she suavely grinned at me. I looked at her confused.

"Saw what?" I quickly asked.

"I saw you smiling at me!" She fist pumped in the air like a child that she is. I quickly pursed my lips to prevent myself from laughing in front of everyone.

"Shut it, Kang. You saw nothing. Now, go," I stood up and pushed her away while she complained that she must be there for her "dear student." I shook my head in secondhand embarassment for her because she quite made a commotion in the health center where I was working.

"W-wait! I'm her teacher you can't shoo me away," she sputtered outside the building. I opened one of the windows and peeped out of it.

"You're her MAPEH (Music, Arts, Physical Education, Health) teacher not her homeroom adviser and I can very much throw you away, my dear," I smiled at her sweetly and sarcastically. That made her quickly shut up. Finally, at peace.

 

"Joohyun unnie!" She shouted outside. I loudly sighed and rubbed up my forehead. I heard my patient laughed at my sufferings.

"Hey, you should rest here on the clinic's bed. You're still weak," I smiled at her. She nodded and obeyed my order. Once everything's alright inside, I quickly got out and met that irritating bear.

"What?" I grumpily asked while I crossed my arms. She scratched the back of her head and... blushed? No, I must be hallucinating. It's just from fatigue. I haven't eaten anything yet, anyway.

 

"Can we be friends?" she asked sheepishly while gripping her handkerchief unconsciously.

"Okay," I nonchalantly said. She stopped tapping her foot and looked at me.

"Wait-- really?!"

"Do you want me to take it back or--"

"NO!" she cleared and repeated her answer, "I mean no. This is cool yeah, totally cool," she mumbled a few more things that I couldn't understand.

 

"Yah Kang Seulgi, I don't understand what you're saying now," I spoke to her in Korean.

"Hey you're from Daegu!" She cheerfully pointed out, probably happy that she knew another fact about me aside from my name and that I'm the only doctor in this small town.

"How did you--"

"Oh I had a Daegu friend back in Korea. By the way, I'm from Ansan" she did some kind of aegyo and honestly, it's disgustingly cute.

 

"Bye Seulgi-ssi, you seem to forget but you have a class in about..." I dragged the last word as I looked up at my watch, "5 minutes."

She unconsciously cursed with a wide-eyed look on her face.

 

"I didn't know you have a potty mouth, Seulgi."

"I-I'm just caught of guard! And how did you know my schedule?!" I quickly turned away at her and opened the door.

"Ya--yaH! Bae Joohyun! How did you know my schedule?!" She asked again, this time, she's screaming.

 

"I knew because this town is very small and by the way, you only have 3 minutes left and the school is very far from here."

"Aishib-- We're not done Bae Joohyun! I'll come back after my class!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as she ran towards the school. I laughed to myself and shook my head. This woman is really something. 

I checked the time through my wristwatch. It's already 8 in the evening. I stretched my arms upwards and shook my head repeatedly to remove my own sleepiness. I've been here since 4 in the morning and I'm honestl