I wonder how many times I forced myself in the same predicament again and again. Almost like a recurring dream living itself. Covering just a taste of what could become but never does 

I awake with my phone flashing in my darken room, eyes blurry from my less than three hour sleep. In my heart I already knew who might be calling me this late. In the back of my mind I thought it wise if I just turn my phone over and go back to my dreamless sleep. But in my mind and my heart I was already preparing for what it could be.

I groggily grab my phone and try to clear my throat of slep

"Hello?"

"Kris.." She softly says my name. I hear her sniffle.

Immediately I rise, fatigue dropping off me.

"Chea? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yea.. I'm just...Can you come over?"

I sigh internally. I can guess how the rest of my night is going to go...well technically early morning.

"Okay just let me put me shoes on and I'll be over in ten minutes."

"Okay..and Kris...thank you."

I pull off my helmet and store it in my bike's compartment. Tonight's pretty chilly. I wonder how long till winter comes. Toany people winter signals a cheerful season, Christmas and the end of a year. Couples cuddle up and enjoying the warmth of each other. I used to look forward to that time as well, hoping to experience it as well but after some time, I now got used to the contempt of the business of loneliness.

I let myself into her apartment already knowing she would be in her bedroom. I have a key to her place and she has one to mine. One shared space we affectionately say 

Placing my keys on her countertop and moving to her bedroom. I don't need to turn the lights on, knowing the layout of her apartment.

"Chea?"

"In the bedroom" Her soft voice coming from the room.

Walking in I notice three different scents, two of them I'm familiar with, the last one foreign.

"Hey"

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You call me three o'clock in the morning asking me to come to you"

"I just wanted to see you, I missed you"

"You saw me yesterday.. I'm just making sure you're okay."

"I had a date"

That explains the foreign smell. Wooden and deep musky, leather.

"Did he hurt you?"

Anger suddenly boiling in me, different scenarios running in my mind.

"What! No, head was a gentleman. It was our second date."

This is news to me, I didn't realize she was interested in anybody.I thought we told each other everything.

"Mmm...I hope your date was good"

I feel like I'm walking in a mine field.

"It was amazing. He was amazing. I think he might possibly be my boyfriend.

My neck tightens as well as my throat.

"I'm happy for you Cheayoung. I hope he makes you happy...cuz if he doesn't he's going to answer to me"

"You're sweet. You're going to make a girl happy some day."

That stung more than I was prepared for.

"Yea.. I'm in no hurry thought. Just enjoying me, myself and I"

"Come here..I need my cuddle buddy"

During our conversation I forgot how cold the room had turned. I'm used to Chea distracting me. Forgetting my own warmth just to tend to her wants.

"Well I am pretty tired. I was rudely awoken during the night"

Changing out of my jacket giving her room a final look over. Knowing this might be the last time I would be this close to her again. I climb behind her and hold her close. The first scent was the smell of her apartment I became used to. The scent of a warm hug and a sweet cup of creamy coffee. The second was hers. The perfume she used that had me convinced was just Cheayoung. The smell of long lost home. And the last one...Finally had a noun, a name that I'm not ready to know just yet. For now I want to enjoy this last embrace I have left. Tomorrow, I know things are going to change.