It has been years since he had last seen him. How does he look like now? Has his habits changed? Does he still have that adorable gummy smile? Has he matured?

Endless questions filled Donghae's heart.

He has not seen Eunhyuk since the day he left Super Junior eight years ago. He never did come back from his break. Nor had he ever given Donghae a call, not even a text. Donghae had heard news about him from other members, but he had never took the intitiative to contact Eunhyuk either. He supposed both of them were afraid, afraid that seeing or hearing from each other will bring back old memories. Making it even more difficult for them to move on.

But then again, it did not really matter. Because Eunhyuk never left his heart even after eight years. He had tried to move on, but it never did work out.

Super Junior had gone their separate ways four years ago. More or less because they have matured in age. Everyone were in agreement that they are too old to be dancing around, competing with the youngsters. They have each gone on different paths, everyone gaining success in the path they have chosen to embark on.

Donghae has started acting. Not because he really love to. But because he could not really bring himself to sing or to dance. Since Eunhyuk left, being on stage was such a difficult thing. No one to share the joy and sorrows with. No one to perform with him in concerts because he was too timid to do it all on his own. So he had chosen acting, thinking if he concentrate on a role deep enough, Eunhyuk will be out of his mind.

Apparently, it never did happen.

Donghae's heart pounds against his chest as he stepped into the building. Leeteuk had gathered the Super Junior members back again for a reunion. There have been plenty over the years, but he never had the chance to meet Eunhyuk. It was either he was overseas acting, or that Eunhyuk could not make it. But Leeteuk had called him specially this morning, to let him know that Eunhyuk will be there. As if to mentally prepare him.

Donghae is unsure about his feelings. Is he nervous? Is he excited? He is feeling too many things for him to identify what is it. Is he feeling this way because he still love Eunhyuk? Or is it simply because things between them have ended too suddenly, making it hard for him to let go?

He can almost feel himself trembling as he reached out to press the doorbell.

The door swings open, revealing Leeteuk.

"Hyung." Donghae greeted with a smile.

Leeteuk pulled him into a warm heart. It always feels good to see the members. Reminds him of the old days. He is grateful that the relationships between them never changed even though they have split up.

"He is here." Leeteuk said, giving Donghae a pat on the shoulder.

Donghae smiled weakly, as he stepped into the house. Leeteuk knows all about Eunhyuk and him. Of course, all the members know about their relationship, but Leeteuk knows the details. Donghae never quit the habit of updating the leader about his life even after the group disband.

"Hi Hyung!" Ryewook shouted out from the living room.

Donghae gave a quick wave to him and the rest. He looked around the room. Ryewook, Kyuhyun, Siwon, and Shindong ae all sitting around the television, clenching hard on the remote controls in their hands.

He looked up... And there he was. Sitting on the sofa, chatting with Heechul.

Eunhyuk looked up at Ryewook's call. And their eyes met.

Donghae gave him a small smile, and he returned it with a slight nod.

He looked the same. The same fair skin. The same gummy smile. Not an extra wrinkle on his face. Time has treated him well.

Donghae went and sat down on the only empty seat in the place - right beside Eunhyuk.

"Hi." Donghae greeted, abeit awkwardly.

"Hi." Eunhyuk said, "Long time no see."

"I saw your movies, glad you are doing well."

Donghae smiled, "And your dance school has gone famous all over Asia."

"Eight long years, and that's all you have to say to each other?" Heechul exclaimed, rolling his eyes as he stood up to join Siwon and the rest on the floor.

There are do much he wanted to say, but he has no idea how. He has no idea how to put down in coherent words, because his heart and mind are in a total mess now.

The two sat side by side, not a single word spoken for the next fifteen minutes.

It was Eunhyuk who stood up first, breaking the silence, "I am going to get a drink, you want anything?"

Donghae hesitated for a second, but stood up too, "I will go with you."

And he followed Eunhyuk into the kitchen. He needed to have some time alone with Eunhyuk, he needed to talk to him.

"How are you doing?" Donghae asked, as he pulled open the fridge.

Eunhyuk leaned against the cabinet, "I am good."

"Is that all you have to say?" Donghae asked as he turned around, suddenly feeling abit pissed.

Eunhyuk looked up, not knowing what to say.

"You never did come back from your break." Donghae said, half accusingly.

"Sorry." Eunhyuk said

"I thought of returning, but i didn't think I could manage the stress once again. It felt too good to be able to have freedom to do what I want to do. To have time with my family."

"I was waiting." Donghae admitted. For the first time in the eight years, he admitted, not just to Eunhyuk, but to himself too. That he was waiting for his return.

"I wanted to call you... But... I just could not." Eunhyuk said, as he toy with the can of drink in his hands, avoiding Donghae's eyes.

"I desperately wanted to move on. To contact you... Will be like going back to square one."

"I... I felt the same." Donghae muttered, "Half of me was hoping you will call, but half me hoped that you will not."

Eunhyuk looked up, smiling at him, "But you managed to move on. You got married didn't you? I was overseas at that time though, so I couldn't make it."

Donghae nodded, "She is a nice girl. But it didn't work out."

He had married a fellow actress three years ago, but they had gotten divorced last year.

"Why not?" Eunhyuk asked.

Because you refused to get out of my mind. Because everytime I see her I still think of you. Because the only reason why I liked her was that she reminded me of you.

You have made me a desperate badass for the past eight years, do you know that?

"We were too busy." Donghae said, mentally hitting himself for coming up with such a lame excuse.

"What about you? Did you move on?"

Eunhyuk chuckled, "I did date a few girls along the way. But I am still looking for the right one."

Donghae found himself feeling happy, knowing that Eunhyuk is still single.

Silence lingers between the two once again.

"I still love you, Eunhyuk." Donghae blurted out.

Eunhyuk looked up, taken back by the sudden confession.

"I tried not to. But I just could not." Donghae continued. It was now or never. He needed to get his feelings out of him before he goes crazy.

"I love you too, Hae." Eunhyuk responded, "I think we went through too much together. It is quite impossible to find a replacement for you."

Donghae smiled, relieved knowing that Eunhyuk felt the same way.

"I am not saying this because... Because I want to get back together," Donghae said, "I... I just wanted you to know."

Eunhyuk nodded, "I understand, Hae."

Donghae stepped forward, pulling the smaller one into his arms. The familiar feeling.

"I don't think I will be able to find anyone like you." Donghae said, inhaling the familiar smell.

"Me too." Eunhyuk muttered, "It is too bad, isn't it? Too bad we did not stay together. Too bad you are not a girl."

Donghae chuckled, "You meant too bad you're not a girl."

Eunhyuk laughed, pressing his cheek against Donghae's shoulder.

"This will be the last time." Eunhyuk said, as he looked up into Donghae's eyes. He leaned forward, giving the boy a kiss on the cheek.

"Let us really move on after today." He continued, smiling.

Donghae smiled back, tears gathering in his eyes. This time round it is him crying, but Eunhyuk's eyes remained dry. He is really letting go now, letting go of Eunhyuk. Letting go of all the memories they had.

He loved him, really really loved him. But some things you love, you can never have.

--

Please comment!! HEEE.