It all started in middle school. They’ve been classmates since first grade. Yoongi was a calm boy, always listening but never talking. Hoseok was energetic, never quite listening but always talking. Yoongi didn’t like meddling with people whereas Hoseok had a lot of friends, he liked hanging out with everyone. He even tried talking to Yoongi, with no success. But Hoseok wasn’t one to give up. Every morning, he’d greet Yoongi even if the later never greeted him back.

But something changed in second grade. As Yoongi sat down on his seat beside the window, he noticed an envelope on his table. ‘To Min Yoongi’ was written in red ink but that was it. Yoongi opened the envelope and found a letter inside. He read it, not really understanding why would someone write him a love letter. At the end was written who had written him this letter: Jung Hoseok. Yoongi looked towards Hoseok who was blushing, expecting the other’s reaction. Yoongi adverted his gaze, folded the letter and ripped it in two then in four and threw it in the bin. But Hoseok wasn’t one to give up. So, every day, Yoongi would find a letter on his desk and, every time, he would throw it in the bin, not even bothering to rip it anymore.

This lasted until the end of second grade. After this, Hoseok and Yoongi were never in the same class again. After some months, Yoongi noticed that Hoseok wasn’t seen around anymore. He asked around and it turned out that Hoseok had transferred to another school. Yoongi was a bit taken aback and disappointed but he quickly forgot about it and soon enough, he was entering high school.

On the first day, Yoongi was lost. It was a bit different compared to middle school, everything was bigger and he felt like he had become smaller looking at the tall building and the tall students around him. Fortunately, he had made a friend, Kim Seokjin. He was loud and a bit odd but funny and he didn’t judge Yoongi for being quiet, contrary to all the other kids he had met in middle school. They quickly became close friends and spent all their time together.

A few weeks later, the two friends were sitting in the canteen when Seokjin spotted one of his classmates.

“Namjoon-ah! Here! Come here!” he shouted, waving his hand.

Yoongi looked towards the said Namjoon and his jaw dropped. Namjoon was followed by Hoseok. Namjoon and Hoseok were quickly approaching and Yoongi turned to Seokjin, panicking.

“Jin, it’s Hoseok, oh my gosh, it’s Hoseok.” He whispered.

“What? Namjoon’s friend Hoseok is your Hoseok?” Jin asked, shocked, and Yoongi nodded.

“I can’t stay here, I have to–”

“Hi guys! Can we sit with you?” Namjoon asked, smiling widely at Jin and Yoongi.

“I-I’m sorry, I have to go…” Yoongi began but Hoseok cut him.

“You can stay Yoongi, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Though you probably don’t know what it means or feels like.” Hoseok coldly said as he sat down.

The atmosphere became awkward all of a sudden. Yoongi felt very hurt at Hoseok’s words but tried to not let it show. He cleared his throat and stood up.

“It was nice meeting you Namjoon. I’ll see you later Jin.” He said and ran out of the canteen.

He entered the closest bathroom and locked himself in a stall. Yoongi was having troubles breathing, he felt oppressed, stressed. It was such a shock to see Hoseok again after all this time. Of course, they’ve never been friends but Hoseok used to have a crush on Yoongi and the latter cared about him more than he dared to admit. He tried regulating his breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly, deeply, trying to think of something else. He heard the door of the bathroom open but paid it no mind as he was too busy trying to control his nerves.

“Yoongi? Yoongi are you here?” he heard Jin ask softly and opened the door of the stall to let him know where he was. He needed his friend.

“Oh my gosh Yoongi, are you okay?” Jin asked, closing the door of the stall behind him. It was a bit crowded but they didn’t care. “Can I touch you?” he asked again and Yoongi nodded.

Jin took Yoongi’s hands in his and made him look at him.

“Breathe Yoon, breathe. It’s alright, it’s just you and me here, no one can hurt you. Breathe for me.” He said, creating a breathing rhythm for Yoongi to follow. Ten minutes later, Yoongi was breathing properly, trembling like a leaf.

“Thank you Jin. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” Yoongi said, his hands still in Jin’s ones.

“Don’t be silly Yoon. Does it happen often?” Jin asked.

“Only from time to time. But it was a shock to see Hoseok after so long. It’s the first time it happened at school.” Yoongi explained, finally retrieving his hands from Jin’s hold.

“If you ever need me, I’m here for you, okay? By the way, I decided to not see Namjoon anymore while he hangs out with Hoseok. The way he talked to you was just unacceptable. He’s a jerk.” Jin said, frowning.

“I deserved it though. I wasn’t very nice with him.” Yoongi replied, holding a smile.

“No, you didn’t deserve it. You were a kid for heaven’s sake! He really needs to get over himself.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, mom. Now we need to get out of here and go to class.” Yoongi said and Jin nodded, opening the door and getting out of the stall.

 

In the meantime

“Wow, you were rude out there, Seok.” Namjoon said as he saw Jin going behind Yoongi.

“He deserved it.”

“He did not. You were kids. Get over it already.” Namjoon replied, frowning at his friend.

“Stop judging me. I’m over it already. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

“You’re not being honest there. If you had to get this off your chest, then you’re not over it. I’d say that you’re still attracted to him.”

Hoseok gasped.

“No! He’s a heartless who used to rip my love letters! I’m not attracted to him!” he shouted, making a few heads turn.

“Stop lying to yourself, Seok. It’s not healthy. And you were both kids. How would you have reacted if someone who wasn’t even your friend sent you love letters every day?”

“I wouldn’t have ripped them, first of all.” Hoseok replied and thought about it a little. “But I would have found it strange.” He muttered.

“There, you have it. Now, it was rude of him to rip your letters but you shouldn’t have insisted.”

“Can we finish our meal and go to class, now?” Hoseok asked, his ears red.

Namjoon nodded, rolling his eyes.

 

A few weeks later, Yoongi was still not over Hoseok’s words. Sometimes, his breath got caught in his throat when he thought about it but he quickly relaxed, thinking about what Jin had told him. He’s an . You didn’t deserve what he told you. Yoongi kept on telling himself that and it worked every time. Until he met Hoseok again.

He was sitting in a café, reading a book while sipping on his latte when someone sat at his table. He looked up and immediately began to panic.

“Hey.” Hoseok said, not noticing Yoongi’s discomfort yet.

Yoongi adverted his eyes, repeating Jin’s words inside his head. But he was having difficulty breathing and began to tremble.

“Yoongi? Yoongi are you okay?” Hoseok asked, his voice laced in worry as Yoongi’s book fell from his hands, knocking his coffee over. Everyone in the café turned to look at the commotion, making Yoongi panic even more.

Hoseok reached out for Yoongi’s hand, trying to initiate some skin ship that could help him relax. Surprisingly, it helped to lessen Yoongi’s trembling and make him breathe a bit easier.

“Can you get up?” Hoseok softly asked, caressing Yoongi’s hand with his thumb. Yoongi nodded and got up, letting Hoseok gather his things and lead him outside.

As soon as they were out of the café, Yoongi let go of Hoseok’s hand, took his bag from the other’s hold and began to walk away as quickly as he could in his state.

“Yoongi, hey! Wait!” Hoseok said, jogging up to him and grabbing his shoulder.

Yoongi turned around, pushing Hoseok's hand off his shoulder, tears in his eyes.

“Don’t touch me.” He said, his voice wavering.

“I’m sorry, I won’t touch you. I just wanna talk to you.” Hoseok said, shocked by the boy’s behaviour.

“Well, I don’t want to. I don’t wanna listen to you, I don’t even wanna look at you. Leave me alone.” Yoongi said before leaving.

The same evening, Yoongi told Jin what happened. Jin told him that he had done the right thing by going away, that he had to protect himself. Yoongi knew he was right but he couldn’t forget how worried Hoseok had sounded in the café and how sad and sorry he’d looked when he’d left him.

 

The following week

Yoongi and Jin were sitting in the canteen, devouring their lunch when Hoseok came to sit down in front of them.

“Yoongi, I need to talk to you.” He said.

“I don’t want to.” Yoongi said, getting courage from Jin’s hold on his hand.

“Just listen to me then!” Hoseok replied, desperate.

Yoongi was tempted to give in but Jin squeezed his hand.

“I already told you that I don’t wanna listen or look at you. Why can’t you understand?”

“You’re being unfair, Yoongi.”

“Are you serious? I am being unfair to you? Because what you told me the other day wasn’t being unfair? You’re still salty about something that happened years ago when we were kids, Hoseok! You have absolutely no right to tell me that I am being unfair!” Yoongi snapped.

Hoseok deeply sighed at that. Yoongi couldn’t ignore the hurt in his eyes but he was relieved to see him get up and walk away.

“That was great, Yoon. You did the right thing. I’m proud of you.” Jin said, hugging his friend.

“I feel a bit guilty. But he deserved it.”

“That, he did.”

 

The following few days, Yoongi didn’t see or hear from Hoseok. It seemed like Jin was doing great at seducing Namjoon since he latter had asked him out the day after Yoongi and Hoseok's confrontation. It was all going great until one day, Yoongi’s mother had told him that a letter had come for him.

“Yoongi, there’s a letter for you, dear.” She said, hanging him the letter. He took it, feeling a bit nervous.

Yoongi opened it and recognised the writing paper. It was slightly pink, the same paper he had seen all these years ago. He unfolded the letter and began to read.

Dear Yoongi,

Since you told me you did not want to listen to me or look at me, I thought that you would maybe read me. I decided to go back to the same old rules.

I want to apologise to you about what I told you the other day. It was rude and I truly regret it. You did not deserve a single word I said and I am sorry I hurt you. That was what I wanted to tell you when I found you in the café. It was a coincidence that we met there, I was just grabbing a coffee before going to class. I did not want to scare you and I was not expecting your reaction at all. I am still glad I could help you relax a little.

I have to admit that what happened in middle school hurt me a lot at the time. Seeing you after all this time triggered something in me, hence why I was so cold to you. It does not excuse what I said and I am not searching for any excuses but I just want to explain why I reacted this way. I think that I still like you a lot. No, I know I still like you a lot.

You don’t have to reply to this letter. You can tear it up all you want even though I would like for you not to do it. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.

Hoseok ♥

 

Yoongi didn’t know what to think. He thought it was fun that Hoseok had sent him a letter but it also annoyed him. Hoseok really wasn’t one to give up. He found this both endearing and annoying.  He was surprised by his apology, never in a million years he could have thought that Jung Hoseok would apologise to him. He was also taken aback by his confession. How could he still like him after everything that happened between them? Yoongi had to admit that he was very attracted to him, it was undeniable. But there were two problems now: how to tell Jin that he accepted Hoseok's apology and how to tell Hoseok that he liked him too? Yoongi didn’t know which one was scarier.

The next day was a Saturday and Yoongi called Jin to come play videogames. The real reason was to talk about Hoseok's letter but if everything went well, they could hopefully still play videogames.

When Jin arrived, he immediately noticed that something was wrong but waited until they were in Yoongi’s room before asking him about it.

“What’s wrong?” he bluntly asked.

“What? Nothing’s wrong.” Yoongi said, adjusting his shirt. He always did this when he was uncomfortable.

“Stop lying, Yoon. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Why are you so perceptive?” Yoongi sighed. “Before I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t get mad.”

“I can’t promise you that, Yoon.”

“Please, Jinnie. Promise me.” Yoongi pleaded.

“Okay. I promise I won’t get mad.” Jin said, sighing and rolling his eyes.

“Thanks. Yesterday, I received a letter. It was from Hoseok.”

“What?!” Jin exclaimed, surprised.

“Don’t interrupt me! It’s already hard as it is.”

“Sorry. Go on.”

“So, Hoseok sent me a letter. He apologised about what he told me and explained why he acted the way he did. It doesn’t excuse anything and he told me he was searching for any excuses. He also said that he still liked me.” Yoongi said, pausing for a moment, waiting for Jin’s reaction.

“And? Do you accept his apology?” Jin asked.

“I-I do. And I also like him.” Yoongi admitted, nervous.

A beat passed. Then two. And finally, Jin leaned towards Yoongi and hugged him.

“If you think it’s the right thing to do then I’m happy for you, Yoon.” Jin softly said.

“Really?”

“Of course. You’re my best friend, I just want you to be happy. If you think that Hoseok is your happiness, then I can’t be mad at you.”

“Thanks, Jinnie.”

“You’re welcome, Yoon.” They separated and looked at each other for a moment. “How are you gonna confess to him? With a letter?”

“I don’t know… I want to talk face to face but letters are our thing, you know?”

“I get it. I think you should write him a letter. He wrote you a lot but you never wrote him any. It could be a good start to your relationship. It will really become your thing then.” Jin said, winking, making Yoongi roll his eyes.

“I guess you’re right.” Yoongi said, before they fell into silence.

“Do you wanna know how was my first kiss with Namjoon?” Jin suddenly asked, making Yoongi gasp, excited.

“I can’t believe you his this from me!”

 

On Monday, Hoseok arrived to school, tired and nervous. He hadn’t slept well during the weekend because he was too worried about what would happen. Would Yoongi come to him to talk, would he come to shout at him, would Jin shout at him… He was expecting all kind of scenarios, each one worse than the other.

What he didn’t expect though, was to open his locket and to see an envelope fall. It was a soft tint of yellow and contained a baby blue paper. Hoseok unfolded the paper and discovered a letter.

Dear Hoseok,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I accept your apology. I was surprised to receive a letter from you after all this time even if, after thinking about it, I should not have been. I am also writing to apologise. I have not been the nicest person to you but you kind of deserved it. I am sorry I said that. I understand how you felt when you saw me after all this time and I understand why you acted the way you did.

It was a coincidence that we met in the café and even though you made me anxious, you were also the one who helped me relax so, I want to thank you. If you had not been there, I would not have panicked but I was still glad you were. I like to think that the fact we met in the café was what made you write me a letter.

I also wanted to apologise about what happened in middle school. I do not know why I ripped your letters back then and I truly regret it because they were all beautifully written. I still always took the time to read them because I secretly had a crush on you. You know how kids are, they like to bully people they like. I guess ripping your love letters was my way of bullying you so you would understand how I felt about you. So stupid of me, really.

If you have not understood already, like you too Hoseok and I hope that you will accept my apology.

You don’t have to reply to this letter. You can tear it up all you want, I deserve it. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.

Yoongi ♥

 

Hoseok was stunned. Never in a million years he would have expected a letter from Min Yoongi and a letter in which he apologised and confessed! He couldn’t quite believe it but he was still smiling to his ears. He closed his locker and ran to the canteen. He knew that Jin and Yoongi liked to sit there in the mornings because it was quiet. He spotted them quickly and walked straight to them. He didn’t bother to sit down next to Yoongi, he just stood in front of him.

“Hoseok?” Yoongi asked, confused.

“Yoongi. I read your letter.” Hoseok simply said showing said letter, short on breath and not only because he had run.

He was looking at Yoongi like it was the first time he saw him and he was just so beautiful. His black hair was making his skin look paler and his lips pinker and his eyes smaller and he was just so perfect. Hoseok thought that he would never get sick of looking at Yoongi.

“Oh. A-and?” Yoongi asked, turning red. He looked so cute Hoseok wanted to kiss him.

“I like you Yoongi. So so much. And I accept your apology too.” He said, taking Yoongi’s hand and pulling him up. “Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Yoongi turned even redder and nodded.

Hoseok put the letter on the table, one hand on the small of Yoongi’s back, pulling him closer, and the other hand on his cheek. He slowly leaned down and made their noses bump slightly before making their lips collide in a soft kiss. It was even better than he had imagined – not that he had imagined it a lot, of course not – and the way Yoongi relaxed in his hold made him weak in the knees. After what felt like a whole day, they parted and stared in each other’s eyes.

“Hey.” Hoseok said, making Yoongi giggle.

“Hey.” Yoongi replied.

“You’re very cute and all but seriously, we need to go to class. The bell just rang.” Jin said, rolling his eyes but a smirk gracing his lips.

“Let me walk you to class.” Yoongi said, taking Hoseok's hand.

“It’s a pleasure.” Hoseok replied, squeezing his hand.

Hoseok was never one to give up. And Yoongi loved that.