C H O R O N G

 

 

I really hate it when my parents would actually thought everythings okay, that Everything went well.

 

my parents seperated when i was just 10 years old. They now have families of their own. and here i am, Alone, sad, depressed. I am staying with my mom , and stepdad,  eww so grossed and yes i don't like him, why? because he was hurting my mom, and me but my mom cant let go of him. and her reason was ing lame. She never wanted to make Namjoo and naeun sad because of her leaving their dad. im hurt now ! im ing in hurt you know?

she never wanted to give them a broken family , while me? damn !!!!

i walked out of her house after some arguments and here i am walking in a cemet---- wait am i in a cemetery? fucc what am i doin' here?

i roamed my swollen eyes around, but all i see was names of people who were already at peace.

then i realized, i could stay here for few minutes i guess, they can't hurt me and they can't hear me.

 

i sat on the ground and brought out a soju from my bag. Who would have thought i would be staying, Drinking and having the time of my life here in the cemetery.

i cried my heart out as i remember my mom denying me in front of her new friends. denying me as her child. my whole world was a joke, and i can't help but be hurt of this.

 

"Excuse me" whhhooooaaaaahhhh i almost flew as i heard a voice of a woman. I covered my eyes with my arms making sure i won't be seeing any ghost at this moment. i was fuccing saying my prayers, but i heard her chuckle. so i looked at her and she was smiling. "uhhmm i was just visitingthis friend of mine.. im not a ghost." she said as she points a tomb.

 

i looked at her, Making sure she's real. she was wearing a White shirt, a black Sweatpants and a cap. we'll ghost won't wear those kinds of outfits right?

 

i let out a small chuckle i was soooo funny and i might look like a crazy to her.  " I'm sorry , i was just scared." i said.

 

she also chucked and shake her head. " im sorry it was my fault. it was almost evening, what are you doing here?"

 

i dunno but i feel so comfortable talking to her. i sat down once again, and she did too. " my feet just brought me here and i dunno why." and i took a gulp of my soju.

 

"You seem sad." she said as she look at me straightly. "I was actually hearing you sob a while ago, and i wanted to see if you are alright."

 

"oh.. i haven't noticed you." i said.

 

"you're too preoccupied, you know sharing with a stranger won't hurt."

 

i looked at her and i breathe out. "i know." i sigh. ' Have you ever felt like you are living for nothing? like nobody'd gonna love you all your life?" i asked with tears in my eyes.

 

"oww that's kinda painful,' she replied to me. "nope, and im sorry to hear that."

 

"my family hates me, my parents broke up when i was ten, and thats how i started to live alone. They have given me all of the thing i need, but i can't feel their love for me. my stepmom and dad was living afar not even texting me how im living or am i still fuccing alive?" "my mom denied me to her friends." and i started to cry harder.

 

 

"That's awful." ... "i... i..don't fuccing know what to say. it's so painful." she responded. i can see how she was affected by my story. "I know you are in pain at this moment , but you know what someone might be there tommorow to give you all the love you deserve."

 

"should i believe in you ma'am?" i asked and laugh a bit.

 

"why not? i could actually find you someone" she said smiling. now life is short never choose to be sad. cause whatever path you choose to walk through, it wll always be your choice. be thankful, you have every choices in livfe, while these guys laying on floor don't have the chance to." she said in a serious tone , she was looking at the sky. it's getting dark here. and i dunno how a place with no lives, makes me feel so alive.

 

"yeah right." i agreed and smiled at her.

 

'it's getting dark now. are we not gonna go home yet?" she asked.

 

"umm yes, i need to go now. thankyou so much." i said and she walked with me up until the gate of the cemetery.

 

"um why don't you just get in my car and i'll just drive you home."

 

"someone would fetch me here , they'll be her in a minute" she said as she showed me a message from her phone. "you better get going."

 

"alright then. Just be safe okay?" i said as i entered my car. i forgot something from her so i put my windows down. "hmm.. ma'am where can i find you?"

 

she smiled at me and whispered an address to me.

 

i smiled and waved my goodbye to her. i was away from her when i realized i also forgot to asked her name. "iim soooooo stupid." i just shaked my head and just remind myself that i could asked her once we meet again.

 

-------------

 

it was sunday and i was planning to visit the person i talked with at the cemetery.

 

when i finally found the address , i knocked at the door and a woman wearing a gray shirt and a black pants opened the door. she looks like she just got home from a bar.

 

"Yes" she asked.

 

"uhmm are you living here?" i asked shyly.

 

"obviously?" she said in a slow pace. "why?"

 

"umm i was actually looking for a girl who has long curly hair, hmm i met her at the cemetery." i explained.

 

"cemetery?" she was so confused with my statement. "i am living here alone miss."

 

"but she said she lives here." i said, im sure, i didn't miss any information when she whispered her address.

 

she was getting curious about all of the things i am saying. then she whispered something on air. "Yoon Bomiiiiiii !!!!!!"

 

She suddenly let me in and so i did, i sat on her couch and she was apologizing about the mess on her floor which is okay because she looked like she's not okay.

 

"hmmm i heard you whisphered Yoon Bomi, is she the woman i was looking for?" i asked out of curiosity.

 

she never answered me. but she handed me a picture of a woman, an my eyes glowed up upon seeing it. " Yes it's her." i said in excitement.

 

she clodes her eyes and sitted beside me. "I am Eunji and This is Bomi. My best friend. she was dead."

 

i got stiffed with the last sentence she said. "what are you saying? i just talked with her at ------- " i wasn't able to finished my words as i remember the name on the tomb bomi has pointed out, it was her tomb , it was her, she was dead. i was talking to a dead person."

 

i feel so sad as i hear her story eunji told me she was a jolly person but she died beacuse of and accident. bomi was right life is short , so i should live it like everyday is my last. i hugged her picture and i said thankyou to her. she made me feel like i was born once again. like its a chance for me to be happy.

 

"when Bomi was almost dying, she told me one thing."

 

i stopped and looked at eunji with a confused face,.

 

"she told me, she will bring here someone i deserved." eunji scratch the back of her head.

 

"and she told me , she'll let me meet someone who could make me happy." 

 

we smiled at each other and laugh...

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

end~~