Hyukjae has never considered himself a heavy drinker. Past Hyukjae would be so disappointed at how much the present Hyukjae has changed. Though, present Hyukjae would never regret all the fun he’s had when he was introduced by his Heechul hyung to partying and drinking. Don’t get him wrong, he’s never been a fan of hooking up, so he strays away from those types of partygoers and just busts out his pumped up energy on the dance floor (and maybe those drinking games he’s roped into by his hyung when there’s no one else reasonably sober left).

So when he wakes up the next day with a pounding headache and sore back and neck muscles, a situation he was once familiar with, Hyukjae can’t help but groan in frustration. He thought he’s long outgrown waking up like this, turns out he’s wrong. Hyukjae can’t believe he let his students and coworkers talk him into letting it loose last night. He knew it that no matter how fun last night was, it would only bite him in the the next day. He’s not getting any younger, you know?

Last night at the bar was, surprisingly, not a blur at all. The drinking and dancing wasn’t a blur, that he’s sure of. He remembers his students, namely Yeri and Haechan, busting out their biggest puppy eyes and puffiest pouts just to convince him to join them to the after party. They even got Siwon to help them convince him, that’s how determined they were. So when he took that first sip of alcohol, he made sure Siwon was looking at him as he tried his best to convey his disbelief through squinted eyes and dramatically taking sips out of his beer. This had no effect, however, Siwon just smiled apologetically while shaking his head at his friend’s antics. 

He must admit, going all out on the dance floor was like greeting an old friend. The feeling was both foreign and familiar, and it doesn’t take that long for him to find his groove back and let loose like back in the day. That also meant that with the dancing, came the drinking. He blames the high he got off of dancing which “made” him take those bottles of beer his students kept ready when they saw that he had already downed his previous one.

Now present Hyukjae has set a limit on himself when it comes to drinking alcohol, which was only two bottles for beer. It’s proven and tested that it’s the optimum amount his body could take without him staggering when he tries to walk a straight line. It’s also the perfect amount where he’s pleasantly buzzed but still coherent when necessary.

That night, after downing his personal limit plus the two succeeding bottles Taemin handed him, present Hyukjae has left the building. Which reminds him, he needs to check his credit card statement, he knows he drank a lot, and for sure everyone invited at the bar has also. He needs to prepare his answers when he receives a fraud alert from his bank.

Everything that happened at the bar was still so vivid in his memories, he remembers in full detail how Taemin tried to look y at a crowd of people that gathered around him when he was letting loose on the dance floor,  even when he looked like he was just seconds from passing out. Going home, however, he has absolutely no idea how he was even able to get to the front door. 

The uber was definitely not booked by him cause let’s face it, even when he has his address pinned as “home” on his app, navigating through the uber app is a sober person’s game. The uber was definitely booked and paid for by Siwon, which he has to remember to thank and pay for. He’s also pretty sure their loyal sponsor and financier to anything related to the dance studio was the one who handled the check, Siwon usually just hands the waiter his black card without even looking at the bill. He relaxes a bit at this since he’s sure he wouldn’t receive a fraud alert from the bank.

That still leaves out how he was able to key into his apartment and pour himself a glass of water (evident through a half-empty glass of water on the coffee table). 

“There he is, good morning sunshine~”

Oh right, how could he be so stupid.

“Had a good night’s sleep, I hope?” Hyukjae’s eyes turn to slits as he looks at Donghae, who’s looking so smug right now. Why though? 

There he is, Hyukjae’s best friend of ten years and boyfriend of seven years, sitting comfortably on the loveseat with a cup of warm black tea in his hand, evident through the lack of steam coming from the cup that he’s sitting there for quite some time already. This makes Hyukjae squint his eyes even more at the latter. But this fails as it only intensifies the headache he has, in turn Donghae must have found that amusing from the snort and brief chuckle he lets out.

“I thought we agreed that when one of us comes home dead drunk, we don’t leave the other to sleep on the couch.” his arms are now crossed on his chest, though this wasn’t that much of a big deal, this is the first time since they’ve moved in has Hyukjae come home dead drunk. It’s just that this is his first time he’s woken up on the couch out of the two years he’s lived with Donghae. Heck even that time they both came home dead tired, they both still hauled themselves to go and sleep on the bed, even when passing out from where they stood looked really tempting.

“I did try to take you to bed last night, but you refused, completely opposed to the idea even.” Donghae mirrors him and crosses his arms across his chest as well after placing the now empty cup on the coffee table, the only difference is he now has a teasing smile on his face.

The more this stretches on, the more irritated Hyukjae is becoming. He knows Donghae is keeping something from him, it’s written all over his handsome stupid face. “Spill it already, something obviously happened last night, let me hear it.” Hyukjae says after a few beats of silence, which is honestly ridiculous since Donghae is usually someone who doesn’t let any embarrassing moment die too soon. Or ever.

“Alright, since you so nicely asked. I was just about to put away my laptop and wait for you on the couch when I heard whispers, now you know I don’t really believe much on those supernatural stuff so looked around, maybe it was another stray or something. So when I was finally able to pinpoint where the sounds were coming from, you wouldn’t believe who I found talking to the door.” the grin on Donghae’s face grows as he speaks, everything that transpired last night still fresh in his memory, and he’s never going to let it fade. 

“Oh god, it’s coming back to me now.” Hyukjae suddenly remembers all the missing events from last night, each and every embarrassing detail of it. He remembers staggering towards the apartment door after exiting the uber with much difficulty, bless the driver for having tons of patience and even assists him to the door but not leaving until Hyukjae vehemently reassures the driver that he could take it from there. He obviously lied.

“Sir are you sure? It’s no bother to me at all since no one has booked yet.” Hyukjae drunkenly shakes his head at the kind uber driver and lazily waves him off. He hears the kind driver say okay, then there’s retreating footsteps and the sound of the car engine coming alive.

A hiccup comes up his throat which tickles drunk Hyukjae and has him giggling himself silly, making the (short) journey to his apartment door all the more challenging. Hyukjae’s vision is not spinning, thank God, it’s his whole body that’s the problem. So drunk Hyukjae tries (really, he did) to conquer the last few steps he has towards his apartment door. 

It shouldn’t be that hard, even for a drunk person, simply because the way from the sidewalk to his apartment was made of smooth, solid concrete. Yet somehow, drunk Hyukjae has managed to not only trip on a nonexistent crack on the street, but also made himself slip on air when he thought there was an elevated step right in front of him (which there wasn’t any, nor has there been any since they moved in).

After barely safely making it to the door, he spends a couple of seconds staring at the new obstacle in front of him. Drunk Hyukjae then drops his gaze to the door knob, still swaying to and fro, he grabs on the knob with both hands and tries to shake it, expectantly looking at the door to open. He pouts when it doesn’t and lets go of his hold on the knob. 

Hyukjae then leans his whole weight on the door, mutters open sesame and presses his ear on the door. Moments pass with no sound coming from the door, he feels himself become sulkier, his whole body suddenly feels heavy that he sinks down to the floor to lie there and maybe throw a tantrum.

But then a gentle breeze passes, and Hyukjae suddenly remembers he has his house keys in his back pocket. When he’s able to feel the warm set of metal keys in his back pocket, he does a little victory wiggle on the floor. Hyukjae, now determined, lies on his side and fits the key into the first slit he sees, which was the slit between the floor and the base of the door. 

It fits! He thinks, does another victory wiggle on the floor, then tries to turn the key only to see that it doesn’t. So he tries the three other keys he has, all of them fit but none of them turn like he wants them to. Drunk Hyukjae reverts back to sulking, keys still in his grasp, he tries inserting again and turning it in hopes that it’ll work this time. 

“Won’t you please open mister door, I really am sleepy and would very much like to get in bed.” he begs, after trying for three more times, there is now a permanent pout on his lips and his whole body now feels like it’ll melt into the floor any second with how comfortable he’s lying there despite the temperature. “Please mister door, the floor is really cold.”

There’s a few beats of silence, then suddenly he hears soft pitter patters coming from the opposite side of the door accompanied by a shadow. Stunned, Hyukjae’s eyes grow wide when he sees the shadow is now directly opposite the door. A small gasp escaped his lips when, finally, the door opened and right there before him stood a man. He thinks. 

Well, how could this person in front of him just be a man when his face was for sure hand sculpted by gods. Not to mention their physique, Hyukjae is one hundred percent sure that muscles aren’t supposed to look that perfect. Gasp. He even has that godly glow and halo.

Am I dead?

Hyukjae then proceeds to bury his face on his pillow as he’s pretty sure his whole face and neck are going to start blooming red the more he recalls their exchange last night. Hearing Donghae’s hearty laughter wasn’t helping the color to die down. “I didn’t know I still had that effect on you, sweetheart. We’ve been together for so long, I understand if the attraction has become routine but you proved all my thoughts wrong, love.” There’s nothing Hyukjae would want more than anything at this moment, than to punch the stupid smug smile on his boyfriend’s face, which he feels rather than sees.

“Please just shut up and remove last night from your memories, forever.” Hyukjae momentarily removes his face from the pillow, he’s trying to look stern, at least he thinks he is. 

But to Donghae, he just looks constipated, all the more reason for him to look at Hyukjae endearingly. “Aw, how could I though? You were so adorable last night love,” his boyfriend leans in to pinch at Hyukjae’s cheek, which he swats away, only for Donghae to retaliate with a quick peck on his nose, “being so polite to mister door and mister couch. Was mister couch kind to your back?”

“You could have carried me to bed, why didn’t you?” Hyukjae tries to push Donghae as far away from him, since the latter was trying to engulf him into a tight hug. Donghae doesn’t relent and just squeezes tighter, as if he even stood a chance in the first place. “You were squirming, if you wanted to wake up with a concussion than a headache you should have informed me.” Donghae then buries his face on the latter’s neck, nuzzling on the soft skin there, trying to at least give him some form of comfort.

“Ugh, I’m never celebrating in a bar or any place that serves alcohol ever again.” there’s a soft chuckle that follows after, as well a soothing head massage. This makes Hyukjae relax in his boyfriend’s hold, all of the embarrassment he’s felt earlier somehow seeps out of him and just makes him forget. He lets out a sigh and leans back on Donghae’s chest, he then intertwines their fingers together with Donghae’s hand that’s on his tummy. 

It’s always the calm moments with his boyfriend that warms his heart the most. It could be those late night cuddles on the couch after being busy for a whole week, these were the times where Hyukjae would be choreographing and teaching for a group he’s hired for coincides with the rare times that Donghae works on big projects and commissions that need him to be at the office and physically meet and discuss with the client. When they’re finally free from a week’s worth of work, they would make themselves a cup of warm cocoa and take refuge on their couch. Sometimes they’d turn on the tv just to fill the silence, other times they would make small talk to ask about how the week had been for them, then just bask in the silence and the sound of each other’s breathing. 

Other times those calm moments come from weekend chore days, usually when neither of them goof around with the soap bubbles or the water hose. The way they work around each other still amazes him, their friends often point out how they’re both perfect for each other. 

“You guys balance each other’s clumsiness. It’s a win-win situation, less chances of getting injured I guess” Heechul hyung comments on more than one occasion simply because Hyukjae has long denied being clumsy. 

Those times he claimed he knew where to go, only to turn two intersections after was always one of their friend’s retorts. Another example was that time he religiously watered the large potted plant next to the reception desk of their dance studio every morning for two months only for his student, Yeri, to look at him weirdly and inform him that it was made of plastic.

“Oh, well, uhm. Thank you, why don’t you go head to the studio and start with your exercises. I’ll go meet you there.” Welp, he thinks, there’s that. Let me just go find a corner and turn myself into a plant. He doesn’t need to look into a mirror to know his whole face, neck and ears are red from embarrassment. He also subtly tries to avoid meeting Yeri’s eyes the whole week although Yeri, bless her soul, keeps the exchange to herself. Even sends him a comforting smile whenever she does meet her eyes. (Her silence only lasts six months, he regrets letting Heechul hyung visit him while he’s teaching a class.)

“What’s got you giggly?” Hyukjae swats at the hand that’s now poking his sides, which is futile as Donghae just takes this as an encouragement to continue. Laughter and half hearted pleas to stop soon fill their peaceful apartment, from a third person’s point of view it paints an ideal picture of a couple lost in their own world. 

Donghae soon stops torturing Hyukjae, his hands coming up to help his boyfriend fix his hair that’s now a mess, the huge grin on his face is now a soft, loving smile. He’s tempted to take a picture but his phone is nowhere in sight and getting it from the bedroom would lose the intimacy of that moment. So he just settles on staring at the sight, the warmth in his chest continues to grow. 

When Hyukjae is done fixing his bed hair, Donghae tucks his hair behind his ear and then proceeds to cup his right cheek, giving it a soft caress. His boyfriend lets out a sigh, he feels Hyukjae lean into his hand and then firmly holds onto his wrist, rubbing soft circles on the skin there. 

“I love you.” Donghae says softly, almost like a whisper but the silence that surrounds them makes Hyukjae hear it loud and clear. He’s always heard those words from him, has always responded with the same three words. Sometimes with something more when he’s feeling it isn’t enough to convey his affections. 

But somehow, why did those same three words feel different just now. It weighed heavier, more sincere and raw that it has Hyukjae feeling overwhelmed with emotions. He’s not scared though, there’s nothing he is more sure of than his love for Donghae. It just feels different, he knows there’s something else that Donghae wants to say after that I love you but he also knows from looking into his boyfriend’s eyes that he’s not ready to disclose it. At least not yet.

“I love you,” he replies immediately, “more and more each day.” Hyukjae takes the hand holding his cheek and plants sweet kisses on his knuckles. Tears are threatening to fall from his eyes, which Donghae quickly kisses away. “Those better be happy tears.” He hears Donghae say, there is no hint of worry, only fondness and joy in his voice.

“They are, nothing but happy tears.” Hyukjae reassures the man in front of him by leaning in and giving him their first kiss that morning. The couple share a sweet smile when they pull away, their eyes shining, full of love and adoration for each other. “Thank you for taking care of me when I got home.”

“Thank you for letting me take care of you, even when you didn’t recognize me.” they both chuckle at this, never letting go of the hold they had on one another. “I’d do the same too, if you were the one who came home drunk out of your mind. Though, I’d be sure to have gotten everything on video.” Donghae shakes his head at his boyfriend’s claim, landing a wet kiss on his cheek just to retaliate. “Is there anything in particular you want for breakfast?”

“Hmm, why don’t we just go grab brunch a little later and just cuddle for now to kill time?” 

“Or we could cuddle and makeout, that way we won’t feel the time go by.” 

Hyukjae smacks the man pressed against him on the chest, although he wouldn’t be opposed to that, his face begins to become red again when he sees Donghae wiggling his eyebrows at him. “Fine, at least let me brush my teeth first.” There’s no use denying him, especially when he’s given Donghae his heart from the beginning. 

So maybe their friends were right, however they were far from perfect. But so what, perfect means it’s stationary, and what they have is far from being stationary. The love he has for Donghae changes each day, it grows and matures. It broadens his understanding and his patience for the things he knows he can’t fix on his own.

And most importantly, it teaches him that even when he’s more than capable of handling things on his own, there’s always that one person who smiles reassuringly at him when he looks over his shoulder to see how far he’s come.

Yeah… He’s my endgame, no doubt.