Chapter 01

[TRIGGER WARNING]

It was a sunny afternoon when three best friends were dismissed from school after their Friday class.
They were walking home while the sun's golden rays mingled with the last light of the day. 
Tim was busy taking photos of himself to upload on his social media when Alex called him out for it. 
"Are you trying to look cool for your Instagram again?"  
 
Tim replied after taking another shot, "Yeah. I already befriended one of the famous people from our school. And guess what?" His eyebrows raised in excitement. "I followed him and now he followed me back!" 
 
Lucy said "And what happens next?" 
 
"I'm gaining more followers now! Only elite people are on his following list and now I'm one of them!" Tim proudly announced. 
 
Lucy and Alex looked at each other and shook their heads. Tim didn't like it when they have that kind of reaction so he reacted, "Hey! Don't be like that. Why can't you just be happy when I'm happy?"  
 
Alex said in defense, "We are happy for you but is this really what you want in life?" 
 
"I like what I'm doing!" 
 
"Fine. Approved." Alex replied calmly as if unconcerned. 
 
Tim walked faster and stopped in front of them which made Lucy and Alex stand still in their positions. He brightly suggested an idea wearing his widest grin, "Guys! How about we go to a party? I was invited to Drew's house party tonight! We should go altogether!"  
 
Alex said "Forget it. We're not going." 
 
Lucy second the notion, "Since when are we into parties?"  
 
Tim threw a tantrum and said "Come on! It's Friday night! Don't you want to have fun with me?"  
 
"Not in that way. We'll leave you be with your Internet fame and famous friends." Alex said as he walked past Tim. 
 
Tim followed Alex and said "What are you going to do tonight anyway? It's the weekend tomorrow! There's no need to study or do homeworks! Loosen up." 
 
Alex answered, "You know we need to maintain a certain grade each semester, right?" 
 
"Oh come on, you're street-smart and academically inclined with a face and height of a model! You'll easily find a job after. Trust me." Tim jokingly retorted. 
 
Lucy interrupted, "Oh and because we're small, we wouldn't?"  
 
Alex chuckled and Tim nudged Lucy while playfully saying "Just help me out here."  
 
"Why would you invite us two anyway? Do we look like we would fit in there? Look at us and tell us if you think we'll have fun at a party." Alex argued. 
 
Tim took a good hard look at his two best friends who were kept still on their toes. They hushed as they waited for Tim to give out his fair judgment. 
The wind blew and the light of the afternoon sun gradually hit their bodies as the clouds paved away. 
Tim watched them staring back at him with their full uniforms and backpacks. He initially observed Lucy. 
She was wearing two hairpins on the other side of her head to tuck it backwards while the other side had her long hair down. By the way she kept two straps of her backpack handles on both of her shoulders, it made her look like a very upright student. Her red ribbon tie, school jacket, skirt down to her socks and shoes were very neat and proper. He did the same to Alex and their uniforms looked just the same; well-ironed and uncrumpled. Their shoes were also clean as if it never hit a dirty ground or was probably under good care in their households. 
 
Tim finally came up with a thought, "You don't look like people who would party on a Friday night but someone who could be persuaded!"  
 
Alex rolled his eyes then said "Still won't go. Let's hit home and rest." as he carried on walking.
Lucy followed Alex and said "Yeah… my father is a policeman with severe anger issues. He'll kill me first before I even lay a foot on a party."  
 
Because they were now walking ahead of Tim, he was forced to walk with them.
Shortly after, they went on their separate ways to go back to their own houses. Even though Tim didn't stop nagging until they had to part, he still remained persistent and created a group chat to continually bother to convince them. 
 
Alex: "Why would you want to go to that party?" 
 
Tim: "Because it's fun and it might be a break for me to be popular once I uploaded a photo as a commemoration that we were there!"
 
Lucy: "How far will you go to be Internet Famous?"  
 
Tim: "Just come with me first. Let's have real fun for once!" 
  
Alex: "What do we get from you when we decide to go?" 
 
Tim: "I'll give you the most fun night ever!" 
 
They stopped responding for what seemed to be a lame answer on Tim's side. But that didn't stop Tim because he wanted to come in a group so he wouldn't appear to be a loser. Hence, Lucy and Alex. 
 
He personally went to Alex's house and called him on the phone in front of their lawn. Alex peeked through his bedroom and saw Tim wearing a plain white shirt with a plaid buttoned shirt over it and a pair of skinny jeans and high top sneakers under. He wanted to appear laidback so he underdressed for the party. 
 
When Alex saw him waving his hand in a huge motion, he answered his call and spoke, "You're not taking no for an answer, are you?" 
 
Tim said "Just this time. Please?" 
 
Alex sighed and said "Fine!"  
 
Tim exclaimed "Yes!" which made the dogs inside Alex's house bark, alarming them that there was someone outside. 
 
They didn't stop barking until Alex went out all dressed up for the said party. He wore a denim jacket paired with khaki pants and sneakers. Tim thought that if he wasn't friends with Alex, he would mistaken him as a heartthrob model from a first impression. He looked ecstatic seeing Alex making an effort to look nice. He couldn't contain it within him anymore so he said "You look handsome! You, chick-magnet!"  
 
Alex just looked at his outfit and said "Is this enough?" 
 
"Yes! It's so good! Now let's just get Lucy!"  
 
It was tougher to get her out of their house because she had the most strict parents among them. Her mom allowed her to go but her dad didn't know yet. She came out of the house very quietly so her father wouldn't hear them. 
She was wearing a white long sleeve dress and a pair of white plimsoll sneakers.  
Both of them reacted in awe of what they witnessed just now.   

Tim said "You look really pretty!"
  
Alex agreed. But Lucy was still feeling uneasy so they had to walk away from their house so she wouldn't get caught by her father. 
After they ran a bit further, Alex spoke while short of breath "Uncle Leroy was this strict?"

"You have no idea." Lucy replied, appalled by the fact. 
 
Tim looked hyped when they were all finally together. Alex saw Tim's face and said "Now what?" 
It made Tim's heart jump in joy so after they reached the highway, he enthusiastically hailed a cab for them and took a ride towards Drew's house.
 
While they were riding the cab, they were taking photos and laughing as they talked about the funny moments in school. They even happily sang along to the music being played on the radio like kids who were freed from their conservative households. They weren't even at the party yet but they were already having the time of their lives. 

When they arrived at the house, still quite not over the gags, they hopped out laughing.     

Tim said "Ah! That was fun!" 

Lucy looked around and said "Wow! This is a big house and there are a lot of people."    
 
Alex said "This is cool."  
 
Tim replied, "Let's talk about your feedback later on our way home together! Wait for me, okay?"  
 
Lucy and Alex were still staring at the ongoing party as if they had never seen colorful lights bursting out of the house like a concert was being held inside.
 
Tim saw them speechless of what's in front of them so he suddenly grabbed them by their hands and pulled them to party inside the house. The music was too loud from the inside that they had to shout to actually hear each other. Tim started grooving to the party music which made Lucy and Alex laugh because his dance looked hideous.  
Because they saw him having fun, they eventually danced with him. Embarrassing it may be, but tonight is the night where they felt most free so they set aside their worries for a while and just danced like there's no tomorrow.  
 
They were having a good time, raising their hands in the air and jumping up and down with the crowd. Lucy's hair swaying in motion as she spun her head on both sides. Alex was laughing and singing loudly to the song. While they were busy dancing, Tim sneakily made his way to Drew to greet him.
Drew received Tim very well and introduced him to his friends. Tim felt so fortunate like it was the highlight of his day. Drew invited him to join his friends to a drinking game where everyone participating were being filmed and Instagram-ready. 
He undoubtedly joined and left Lucy and Alex for a while.  
 
Lucy and Alex, who didn't know anyone but each other, noticed that Tim was missing. Their eyes roamed around but they didn't see a sight of Tim. They could only communicate with their actions because hearing each other was impossible.  
Alex acted out that Tim might be with his famous friends and Lucy just nodded. They felt awkward and out of place around a swarm of people they barely know after he was gone. 
 
They moved aside and went away from the sea of people. Alex checked his watch and showed Lucy the time with an expression of bewilderment of how an hour passed by so quickly. They were just dancing lately and the long hand of the clock already came round.  
Lucy wasn't also expecting but felt the exhaustion enough to give away an actual hour of dancing.  

As they were standing on the side, someone unexpectedly came to Alex and tapped his shoulder. He greeted him cheerfully and Lucy instantly had the impression that they know each other by their greetings. She quietly moved away a bit to give them space. Alex looked startled to see a familiar face within an unknown crowd so he gladly entertained an old friend and talked to each other. 
 
At the moment, Tim was hanging out with the famous people he hardly knew when he was approached by three guys who were greeted by Drew himself upon their arrival. 
One guy shouted at his ear for him to be able to hear, "Hey, new guy. That a friend of yours?"  
 
Tim responded, "Who?"  
 
"The girl in white dress? She's pretty." 
 
"Yes! She’s pretty huh? The guy with him is A—" 
 
Tim wasn't even finished with his sentence when another guy butted in and said "Will you allow us to get to know her?"  
 
Tim said "Sure!" in a friendly way.  
 
The guys didn't even bid their goodbye and just walked away as if the conversation didn't happen. 
He felt weird about the guys so he asked Drew "Those guys are okay, right?" 
 
Drew said "Relax. Everything's fine. Now pose!" He aimed a camera at them then took a selfie with Tim. 
Tim was having his proudest moment as he continued to stick around with the popular kids, without checking Lucy and Alex. 
 
The guys approached Lucy and Alex immediately saw that the guys looked stoned. He was alarmed but after seeing them casually just talking to Lucy, he thought he might just have been too judgmental. He never trusts parties ever since which is why he had never been into one until now only because of Tim.  

His old friend said something to him again so he paid attention again and respectfully responded to each of his speech.
They talked for only a bit when he looked back at Lucy to check how she's doing with her conversation with the guys.  
He rattled after not seeing her around anymore so he ditched the guy he's talking to and walked away to look for her. 
His intuition was giving him all the bad signals so with distress painted in his face, he seeked every corner to search for her.

With an adequate amount of effort looking around, he caught a glimpse of Lucy being dragged upstairs by three guys. Deep down, he knew there was something wrong so he tried to chase them despite the difficulty of getting through a crowded place full of people. There was barely any place for him to walk on especially when the music shifted that made the people dance wild. He was shoved and pushed. He kept shouting, "Out of the way!" but no one minded him.  
A bunch of couples making out and people suddenly pouring beers on them as they cheered them on stopped him. It hindered him to walk past the crowd.  
But he thought it wasn't the right time to falter so he squeezed himself out of the crowd only but it took him quite a while before finally getting away. 

As he hurriedly made his way upstairs, he found that one room was locked. He immediately knew what was going on from then on. He heard the guys laughing as they did it. It was awful in the ears; the kicks of Lucy's feet on the floor as they forcefully wore off her clothes while she's lying down. One man was even aiming his phone at her as if they were filming her from the camera. 
Lucy begged and tried to bargain an amount of money just for them to stop—in case they still have a bit of conscience left. But instead of seeing a good light in them, darkness had already covered the room. It was hot and for how she would describe it, it felt like hell—the one that slowly burns her soul to eternity.
Three guys took turns to get a taste of her as if she was a toy they played with. 

Alex wanted to break the door and barge in but his body was weak and he didn't have enough strength to push through. He never stopped trying until his shoulders were bruised from hitting the door and trying to break in.
Lucy was crying and screaming at the same time. She kept yelling "Stop! Please!" as if the guys were deaf to respond to it.  
Alex was shouting "Don't do this! Please!" from the outside. Lucy screamed Alex's name when she heard him and begged for help.
Alex had never felt so useless until now. He couldn't do anything. He had to bear the disturbing sounds from the other side of the door. The agony in Lucy's screams as they take away her ity in a gruesome way. It was a mental torment.
He tried to seek help but the guys a music and set the volume to maximum so no one would hear Lucy's noises. Because of it, his voice couldn't be heard by anyone anymore. There was a loud music blasting from inside the house and it was associated with another loud one upstairs so no one could almost hear anything.  
He went down to find where the music was coming from to turn it off but the place was unfamiliar that's why he didn't know each corner or where to find it.  
He was panicking as his friend was in an alarming situation. He felt like he wasn't enough to save her. He looked for Tim in a crowd, never stopped to find ways just to save Lucy. 
He texted Tim about it but he didn't reply. He also tried calling him but he was not answering. He probably didn't hear his phone ringing due to the loud music.  
 
A little bit later, Alex was not aware of the time consumed while trying to find Tim in a house full of people. He thought it took him long so he hurriedly went upstairs to think of more ways to do only to see Lucy walking out of the room with messy hair, puffy eyes and almost torn-out clothes. 
The music had subsided upstairs and the room was already empty. It seemed like the evil guys had left right after they finished.  
He didn't know how to approach her or how to console her after the cruel act that happened to her. He just stood there as he watched her struggling to walk towards him.  
He wanted to hug her and give her the comfort she deserved but he knew it wasn't the best idea. He pitied her just by watching her in pain and traumatized.  
 
He said "I did everything I could. I'm sorry…" 
 
To his surprise, she responded, "I want to go home."  
 
He hesitated to answer because he didn't know where Tim was. They were supposed to go home altogether.  
But just when he thought of him, he arrived upstairs, panting as if he ran his way to them.  

It was when Tim realized—it was the beginning of his nightmare.  

Just by the look in Tim's face, Alex knew that he already read his message. They both looked at Lucy, who was avoiding their eyes, and felt mortified at her appearance. 
The guys the life out of her, drained her energy and desaturated her colors, making her look overly wasted.
 
Alex said "Let's go home." 
 
Tim replied, "We should. I'm sorry..."  

They walked away from the house. Lucy was not talking. Tim and Alex were apologetic to what happened to Lucy. She was too pure and innocent to undergo such a harsh event.  
They didn't know how to manage their thoughts so they were arguing as to where to bring her first. 
Alex said "Let's take her to the police and let's report this!" 
 
On the contrary, because he saw that she had a hard time walking, Tim, who didn't know what must really be done, said "There must be something damaged in her! Let's bring her to a hospital." 
 
As they argued, Lucy shockingly puked so they stopped. She was disgusted with herself. She spat on the ground until she felt as if it was the last drop just to get rid of the guys' traces on her body. Immediately after she vomited almost everything out, she said "Just bring me home." 
 
Tim followed what she said and they headed to a taxi bay to send her to her house. Alex suggested that they should come with her for her safety because it's already past midnight. 
But she strongly neglected and said that she wanted to be alone. She was mad but didn't know who to hate. Rather than mad, she's more disappointed. She didn't talk to them at the remaining time she had with them while waiting for a taxi. 
 
The silence must be peaceful and a relief after a tiresome night but the turnout of events made the silence sound so sinister. 
The taxi arrived and Lucy hopped in without speaking a word to them. She left without saying goodbye for all the right reasons. When both of them were left, Alex asked Tim in a serious tone, "Are you drunk?" 
 
"Eh?" 
 
"You smell like alcohol." 
 
"Ah." He stuttered. "They forced me to chug on the beer barrel."  
  
"I kept looking for you, you know?"  
 
"I'm sorry." 
 
When Alex saw another cab coming their way, he said "If you're going to ask me what happened, I don't want to talk about it. Let's part ways. It's morning."  
He took the cab and left like how Lucy did. He couldn't help but to despise Tim for his actions. If only he was responsible enough to take care of them, Lucy wouldn't have gone through it. Instead of pouring all his anger out to Tim, he decided to keep his mouth shut and just leave. Nothing's going to change no matter how hard he'd take it out on him. It already happened and that's that. 
For now, what he needed more was a place of isolation to process the trauma he felt while Lucy's screaming voice was still stuck in his head. He headed home, trying to erase the impossible.
 
Soon after Alex left, Tim also rode a cab home and got off along the highway to walk his way to his house. It was nearly 4 AM.  
He lived the furthest so it took some time before he reached home. He was ambitious enough to wish for the feeling of sleepiness so he could put all his thoughts into slumber. But he couldn't, he knew he wouldn't be able to.
As he walked slowly in a dark and empty street towards his house, his phone beeped at a notification for getting hundreds of followers within hours. For the first time, he wasn't proud.  
He also got a message from Alex that he never wanted to reread.  
 
His world stopped after hearing the news. A strange feeling came inside him and he didn't like it. His heart felt like it lost countless beats and for all he could remember, he stopped breathing for several seconds. He wished it was a prank. He wished it wasn't any worse. While he was hyperventilating after reading the message, he slowly was able to fathom that everything was real. Although acceptance was quite overlooked at the moment, he still wished Lucy never did it.  
He couldn't believe his eyes as they stared on his phone screen. He never expected it to happen too soon when they were just with her a while ago. 
 
 
Lucy took her life that night.  

(BGM: Murders - Miracle Musical (slowed))

He wouldn't want the sight of Lucy hanging from the ceiling. Yet, he was haunted by her memories. Her state when they last saw her; the trauma in her eyes; the disgust in her tears, the anger in her heart. He couldn't avoid the blame because no matter how many times he tried to turn the tables, he was at fault. He knew that, felt it deep under his skin. The way it creeped to his insides, grabbing his heart and pulling it down.  
It was the guilt seeping through his every breath. 

For a minute, he thought he had run out of tears to cry. He felt numb. He couldn't catch-up to the fast-paced sequence of horrendous events. And before he was even allowed to recover from the shock to