Figuring yourself out isn’t easy, and no one knew this better than Yeh Shuhua. on the stage at age 18 with five other beautiful girls in a foreign country, she had to find herself quickly and stick to that. 

Shuhua let her confident and loud personality shine through no matter what others said. Sometimes she was a straight up savage…which made her all the more loveable to her fans. Despite this sureness of self, there was something she just couldn’t shake, something concerning two other members of (G)-idle.

***

“Shuhua, we have to go to the studio soon!” Minnie stood looming over Shuhua, who appeared to be curled up in a blanket playing video games. Little did Minnie know, she had unknowingly yanked Shuhua out of her all-consuming thoughts.

Shuhua refocused her eyes, which had glazed over from deep thought, and let out a quick sigh. 

“Yeah, I’ll be right there Minnie. Just gotta get changed.”

Minnie responded with a little hum of affirmation from the door as she sipped on her bubble tea. Meanwhile, Shuhua went to put on her signature green thrasher tee and grey sweat pants: perfect studio wear.

As they walked towards Cube Entertainment, Minnie watched a disheartened Shuhua, with sunken shoulders and low hanging neck, kick debris entering her path – pebbles, leaves and litter. 

Light hearted and kind, Minnie always knew if there was something up with the youngest member. 

“You seem a bit….” Minnie stopped and turned to Shuhua, “out of sorts. Wanna talk?”

When Shuhua simply mumbled an incoherent response under her breath, Minnie knew something had to be done.

***

“Yeh Shuhua get in here and help me with the kimchi!!” Yuqi yelled from the kitchen in her shared dorm with Minnie and Soyeon. 

When Shuhua came into the kitchen she found Minnie, Soyeon and Yuqi leaning against the counter, giving her inquisitive looks. Miyeon and Soojin had just left to get the rest of the ingredients for dinner.

Laughing to cover up her embarrassment, Shuhua sat down at the table and popped a grape in .

“What’s up guys? Do I have something on my face?”

“More like you’ve got something on your mind from the sounds of it,” Yuqi replied with crossed arms.

Even though she tried to hold it in, she just couldn’t anymore. Besides, this was something she needed to talk out.

“Fine, you caught me.”

Soyeon was the first to join Shuhua at the table, with Minnie and Yuqi closely following suit. “What’s this about, Shuhua? You’ve been off your game these days.”

“It’s just-“ was all Shuhua could manage before a wave of memories came flooding in.

***

It was the day they were featured on School Attack and Shuhua couldn’t help but admire how stunning Soojin looked as she performed their dance break. Time seemed to slow down for Shuhua as she soaked up Soojin’s every move. Let’s just say Shuhua could probably make a 3D scan of Soojin from memory.

Shuhua was at a loss for words…or thoughts.

Even though she’d always admired Soojin, she knew she had to do everything in her power not to practically drool in the beautiful girl’s presence. 

And this, ladies and gentlemen is when Shuhua knew she was gay.

***

“So?” Yuqi interrupted, “we all know you’re gay for Soo-“ Before Yuqi could finish teasing Shuhua, Minnie punched her playfully on the arm for her tactless – yet blunt – response. “Let her continue,” she said. Three pairs of concerned eyes rested on Shuhua, waiting.

“It’s not that simple…” she explained. 

***

Only a few days ago Shuhua, Yuqi, Soojin and Miyeon had done a vLive together. 

While the other members chatted and read comments, Miyeon flashed Shuhua the sincerest, kindest smile. Yet there was something underneath it all that made Shuhua’s heart skip a beat. It was like Miyeon knew something Shuhua didn’t just yet and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Miyeon’s eyes said it all.

Like a deer in headlights Shuhua sat frozen, trapped in Miyeon’s gentle (and flirty?) gaze. And then, she looked away… maybe a little too quickly. Focusing on anything to help regain her composure, Shuhua felt her heart beating out of her chest and blush creeping onto her cheeks. The worst part is, this was not a rare occurrence- in fact it happened pretty much whenever she was with Miyeon.

. 

***

“I think I like both of them,” was all Shuhua could muster.

Determined to help, Minnie broke the silence. “I don’t know, do you?”

Shuhua knit her eyebrows in confusion.

“I mean, I think you like them in different ways.”

“Yeah,” Soyeon agreed, catching on, “it’s just like Miyeon said during one of our schedules: you like Soojin but you want attention from Miyeon in another way.”

Yuqi’s face lit up like a light bulb. “Soojin made you realize you’re gay but it’s Miyeon-“ 

“who made you feel something,” Minnie finished. 

Shuhua sat, stunned. Maybe it was different kinds of emotions after all. Soojin was beautiful–there’s no denying it–and she was the one who helped her when she first moved to Korea. But with Miyeon it was different. With Miyeon she felt warmth and security, with Miyeon she felt reassurance and love in a single look, with Miyeon–

Just as she was processing her friends’ sage wisdom, none other than Soojin and Miyeon walked through the door with the groceries. 

Miyeon smiled over at the members and when she made eye contact with Shuhua, the youngest didn’t shy away, but savoured Miyeon’s smile as if it were sweet honey.

Noticing the obvious chemistry between the oldest and youngest, the other girls scuttled off to the kitchen to unload the groceries.

“C-can I talk to you?” Shuhua asked as Miyeon approached.

“Yeah of course, everything ok?” Miyeon scanned Shuhua’s face, eyes soft.

Not knowing how she mustered the courage, Shuhua took Miyeon by the hand and led the oldest to her room.

As she closed the door she said, “Miyeon, I know I’ve been such a tsundere towards you and I’ve ignored you a lot but the truth is I-,” Shuhua paused and looked into those gentle eyes, sparkling with mirth (and hope?). 

Miyeon took a step closer and laughed softly. Shuhua swallowed the lump in . “Shuhua, I know, your eyes say it all” was all she said before closing the gap between them.

Meanwhile, the other four members stood gathered around the kitchen island.

“Well that worked well, they’ve been in there for a while,” Soyeon said with a small smirk.

“Ew don’t make me imagine things” Yuqi wrinkled her nose in fake disgust.

“Thank me ladies and gays, all my idea,” Minnie joked. Soyeon stuck out her tongue and Minnie as Yuqi shook her head.

Soojin watched this exchange with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “What did you guys do this time?” she said while rolling her eyes, causing the girls to burst out laughing.