She was 18 i was 20, we met in college we were instant best friend. i met her at a party joy invited me to i mean thank god she did it led me to her  We spent all our time together,we were briefly lovers, but we never formally dated because both of us were very busy she was going to be a doctor one day and me a lawyer.

we talked about it and agreed that a committed relationship between the two of us would be an all-or-nothing kind of thing. Since neither of us can fit a relationship in our life, we made a point of not comitting to a relationship. A few years went by that way and we were very happy, right up until her sister died.

it was a car accident. she was 25 and was killed in the crash. dead on arrival at the hospital. she was completely, utterly devastated. and it still hurts me to remember it, i still remember the pain in her face, Her father though was even more devastated, to the point where he was legitemately willing to starve himself to death rather than to go and try living. she moved home out of state to take care of him. She cut ties with everyone for awhile, even me i didn't see her again for two years.

She was so different after that. Before the accident, she'd always been the most joyful,positive, kindest person i'd ever met. After she came back she was quieter, sadder, meybe wiser. i wanted to be there for her more than i'd ever wanted anything in the world. Not being able to fix things for her, not being able to make it better, that hurt more than anything i could ever remember, not being able to see the smile that reaches her eyes, her dimples beside her smile. i guess that's when i realized how in love with her i was.

I told her that i loved her, that i wanted to be there with her, and she told me that she coudln't handle the idea of any kind of emotional connection for awhile. Maybe a few years,she said.Maybe never.Maybe she'd never be able to open up emotionally again. she said she needed space from me, particularly from me. She said she needed to figure out wh