"Can't you do any better?! ing useless!"

 

Joohyun's boss screams, her paperwork of six months flies freely around the bearded man's room. One by one, each page she poured her blood, sweat, and tears on, touches the floor, joining the littered cigar butts and crumpled pieces of paper as if this is another way of telling her that her work is trash.

 

"You just wasted six months on trash?! Do you know how much money I'd be losing because of this? Because of you, you ing useless, piece of !"

 

The angry man continued to shout, getting in her face. She could only stay quiet and look down at her feet, accept all the harsh words and curses from the man in front of her. The questions 'where did I go wrong?', 'was my best, not enough?' and other related questions started clouding her mind, drowning the loud bellows of her boss. There is that same feeling again in her heart, the feeling of not being enough, even in the slightest.

 

Her face suddenly turned sideways with her left cheek stinging in pain, her hand automatically caressing the bruise in her face. She finally looked up to her boss for the first time since she entered his office, seeing the man's chest heaving up and down, glaring eyes filled with rage meets her glassy ones as she tries to blink the tears away. She already handled too many hardships in her many years of living, she can't just cry in a single slap.

 

"Get out of my office. Out of my company. I don't want to see you and your patheticness again. You're fired!"

 

Joohyun bows for a few seconds, still doing her best not to cry, she musters up the courage to finally speak to her executive, "Thank you for letting me work here for two years, Mr. Lee. I'll always be grateful."

 

With that, she turns on her heels and left the room, heading directly to her department's area and her cubicle before grabbing a spare box and putting her pieces of stuff inside. Sooyoung, her co-worker and friend, approaches her, eyes laced with curiosity but her concern for the older girl stood out.

 

"Unnie, what happened? Why are you packing up? Did Mr. Lee—"

 

"He fired me," she cut off the younger, her voice blank so she smiles at Sooyoung, hoping it would tell her that she's fine even though in reality she was feeling miserable.

 

"What?!" she suddenly shouted, earning the attention of some of their officemates, making Joohyun flinch and smack the taller's arm.

 

"Keep it down!" Joohyun scolded in a slightly whisper manner, the younger whispering back a small 'sorry' but didn't bother to hide her distress at the newfound information.

 

"You worked hard for that project for months! How dare he?!" she angrily stresses, and Joohyun could only smile sadly. She did. She poured every bit of her creativeness and ideas into those papers.

 

But as always, her best wasn't enough.

 

"Who will bring me homemade foods now? Who will scold me whenever I leave my table messy? You're the only unnie I like in this ty place," Sooyoung whines, clinging onto Joohyun's arm and resting her chin above her shoulder.

 

"Language, Sooyoung."

 

"See?! Out of all the things I said, the curse word stood out to you! No one would do that as you unnie," the taller girl whines again, leaving a genuine but still small smile on Joohyun's lips.

 

"I could always stop by and still give you homemade food, and I think cleaning your table before leaving is already part of your routine," she smiles as she placed her final belongings inside the box.

 

"Yeah, thanks to you nagging me 25/8," Sooyoung snorts, making Joohyun slightly chuckle. Joohyun will always be thankful to Sooyoung, even if she's doesn't say it out loud.

 

"I should be going," Joohyun starts after seconds of silence. The frown in the younger's face came back, and without a word, she wraps the smaller girl in her embrace, burying her face on the older's shoulder.

 

"Always take care unnie. If you need help, I am always one call away," she chokes out, pushing her tears back. Just like Joohyun, she doesn't want to cry in front of the other girl.

 

"I will, you too. I'll drop by when I find a new job. Do your best okay?"

 

Sooyoung accompanied Joohyun out of the building, even offering to take her home but the latter refused, saying it's fine. She just wanted to be alone for now, and not cause too much trouble for the younger girl. She already helped her enough, and she knows she has problems on her own too.

 

So with a slightly large box in both hands and heavy weight in her heart, she walks down the street and through downtown Seoul's evening glory, passing by several people going home, either with a partner or a friend, or a family, or a loved one. Deep inside she knows, she wants that too, to be with someone. Not just someone to be with, but someone she could feel home.

 

Passing by the Hangang Bridge, she stops at a spot in the middle of the structure, placing the box down by her feet. She breathes in, approaching the railings before taking in the view of the river, taking in its tranquility. Just like how her eyes reflect the stars above, the stream reflected them too, but in its own way. Without her knowing, she climbs the parapet, cold wind brushes past her as she did so. She felt the weight of responsibility in her shoulders once again, and she knew she wanted to get rid of it once and for all.

 

"Don't!"

 

A shout rang into Joohyun's ears and before she knew it, she was already on the ground, on top of an unknown red-haired girl who she thinks pulled her from the rail. She stares at the beautiful cat eyes and strangely, she felt secure.

 

"Damn," the girl grunts, pulling Joohyun back in reality. She quickly stands up before dusting off her pants, but not the slightly noticeable blush on her cheeks. "Are you okay?" the said girl asked her after standing up herself, looking at Joohyun with concern as she sees the red in the other girl's face.

 

"I am. I should be asking you that," Joohyun replies rather cold, the fact that the other girl is a stranger to her just sinking in her mind.

 

"I'm good too. But please don't go around doing that again, don't waste your life."

 

Her ears rang at what the cat-eyed girl said, the pent up anger and frustration started to rush through her veins. "What could you possibly know about my life?" she asks in a low voice, displeasure evident in every word coming out of , making the other girl surprised and taken back.

 

"You don't know how much I've been through to even consider doing that. You don't know how hard it is. To live every day and just be a walking disappointment and disgrace. You don't know!"

 

She screamed, the tears she's been trying to hold back for so long flows freely down her cheeks, hands shaking. She was venting out her frustrations to a random stranger who pulled her from the railings just minutes ago, but she didn't care. She wanted to let this out of her. Meanwhile, the other girl just stood there looking at Joohyun, expression unreadable.

 

Joohyun tries to wipe the tears from her face, but it keeps flowing, just like the river below them that almost swallowed her if she wasn't stopped. "You don't know anything..." she repeats, but the anger wasn't there anymore. She felt weak, vulnerable.

 

For the second time today, the stranger took her by surprise.

 

A pair of strong arms caged her small and vulnerable physique. The other girl hugged her tight but with care as if she was the most fragile thing she ever held. With that, Joohyun wrapped her arms on the stranger's waist, burying her tear-filled face in the taller's shoulders, releasing another batch of fresh tears.

 

"You've boxed that feeling for so long, let it out. Let it all out,"​​​ she said softly, tightening her hold of Joohyun as if she's going to break once she releases the other.

 

Joohyun cried more, the years of pent up frustrations and sadness flowing out. She felt her eyes sting and her body weak, but what she felt more is safeness. In the arms of a stranger.

 

And with that, her consciousness walked away.

 

●●●

 

Joohyun grunts as she slowly opens her eyes, feeling it sting a bit as the light from the open window passed by her orbs. She rolls over to her side, back facing the window as she hugged a pillow she grabbed before burying her face in the soft cushion. The memories from last night slowly creeping up to her mind; from her getting fired to her almost jumping at the Han River and the vague image of a red-haired woman hugging her.

 

The stranger...

 

Joohyun abruptly stood up from her bed, if it was even hers in the first place. She looked around the room, seeing the familiar beige motif room, her coat from last night hang comfortably at the coat rack beside her small study table, the box containing her belongings from her previous work sits atop of the said furniture. It was her room, she's in her apartment. But how did she end up here?

 

"The girl..." she whispers to herself before turning to her heels and walking out of her room, the aromatic smell of pancakes greeting her nose as soon as she opened her door, her stomach grumbling at the smell.

 

She hears a faint voice singing at her kitchen, singing along the tune of a ballad song playing from the open radio. The voice was soft and soothing, it made Joohyun's heart flutter. She can't even explain why she's feeling safe with a stranger inside her apartment. It baffled her, but she just brushed it off.

 

The same red hair from last night greeted her as she walked inside the kitchen, the girl's back facing her as she was busy cooking pancakes in the stove while singing too. Joohyun stood at the doorway, staring at the girl while she sways along with the music, her melodious voice overshadowing the one from the radio. She just stared, unable to speak—well, she chose not to. For some reason, watching the other girl just cook and sing brought tranquility in her veins, and even though she won't admit it, she enjoys the feeling.

 

Flipping the last pancake in the pan, the other girl whips her head towards where Joohyun was standing, seeing Joohyun stare at her intensely. She beams a bright eye smile towards the girl, snapping her out of her trance, slightly flustered that she was caught by the girl. "Good morning! I made pancakes."

 

"Did you bring me home? What happened last night? How did you bring me here? How did you know where I lived? Who are you?" Joohyun asks continuously as she takes a seat in the dining table. The other girl chuckles at her curiosity, as she looked like someone rapping.

 

"Calm down. I'm gonna answer all of your questions, but eat first," she said as she pushed a plate of pancakes to Joohyun and offers her a fork which she happily accepts, immediately digging on her food. It's been ages since she had a proper breakfast in her home, as her old job required her to go early in the morning and go home late at night. Plus, she really haven't eaten anything yesterday as she rushed to finish the final touches in her project, which was just treated as trash by her old boss.

 

"Anyways, I'm gonna start with my name. I'm Seulgi, Seulgi Kang." the red-haired girl introduced after a few seconds of silence between them, watching Joohyun as she finishes her plate of pancakes. She pushes another plate, her own, towards Joohyun who looked up curiously at her. "You can have mine. You look like you haven't eaten for days."

 

Joohyun flushed at her statement, "Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly and Seulgi just smiled and nodded. "I'm Joohyun—"

 

"Yeah, Joohyun Bae. I know." Seulgi cut her off, earning a confused and slightly surprised look from Joohyun. The red-haired noticed and chuckled at her expression, "When you passed out last night, I panicked of course. But I saw your office ID in the box you have and got your name and address. Kinda answers some of your questions earlier."

 

Joohyun halts from finishing the last serving of pancake in the plate, giving Seulgi a curious look. "How did you take me home?"

 

Seulgi stifles a smile and winks at Joohyun, making her flush for the nth time this morning, "That's a secret."

 

Joohyun just pouts and finishes her food, feeling full. She cleans the table and started washing the dishes despite the protest of the red-haired girl. She hates it when someone doesn't tell her things that could feed her curiosity but she doesn't get herself for letting Seulgi off the hook like that. 

 

"Hey, Hyun," she heard Seulgi called appearing beside her, once again blushing at Seulgi for calling her in a nickname no one has ever called. Good thing she's not facing the girl.

 

"Hyun?"

 

"Yeah," Seulgi chuckles, "You don't like it?"

 

"N-no, it's fine." Joohyun answers, mentally cursing herself for stuttering like that. Seulgi just smiles softly at her before leaning at the counter beside the sink where Joohyun's doing the dishes.

 

"I feel you're comfortable with me," she started, making Joohyun flinch and almost drop the plate in her hands, the action making Seulgi laugh. "I'm right aren't I?"

 

"H-huh?" Joohyun answers dumbly, stuttering once again. The words in her head stuck on her thought. She wanted to counter what the other girl said to her but she knows deep inside, she is indeed comfortable with the red-haired girl.

 

"I'm a good person," Seulgi said completely out of nowhere, Joohyun facing her after putting all the plates in the rack, giving her a confused look, "I ran away from my house because of my parents and I stumbled upon you on that bridge."

 

"What are you trying to say?" Joohyun asks, confused as to why Seulgi is telling her about her story.

 

"Uhm, I was thinking," she stops, looking at Joohyun warily, pondering whether to continue with her statement—and she did when Joohyun signaled her to. "Maybe, just maybe. Will you accept me to live with you for the meantime?"

 

Joohyun's eyes widen at Seulgi, suprised at her sudden offer. Her instincts normally told her to decline the girl, as she was just a stranger to Joohyun. But a big part of her wanted to accept the offer, as she never felt this comfortable or safe around people, what more around a stranger.

 

Something about Seulgi makes Joohyun feels safe and secure. Was it her eyes? Her presence? She's not sure. But something about her made Joohyun feel things she normally don't feel with others. The things she only hoped—dreamt of feeling.

 

"Uhm, I guess that was a bad idea," Seulgi said after minutes of no response from Joohyun, pulling Joohyun out of her deep thought. She took a deep breath before giving Seulgi a sincere smile, the first smile Seulgi got from Joohyun.

 

"Yes, you can stay," she finally answered, making Seulgi widen her eyes and release another one of those eye smiles. She hugged Joohyun out of excitement and gratitude making Joohyun fluster again, but she melted to it not too long after, hugging her back.

 

 

"Thank you! I promise I won't be a burden to you!" Seulgi answers happily while still embracing the smaller girl. Joohyun could only smile.

 

 

And for the first time in Joohyun's life, she felt she did the right decision.

 

●●●
 

 

"Unnie? Since when?"

 

Sooyoung asks Joohyun as she gives Seulgi a wary look, accepting the homemade meal Joohyun promised her, Seulgi accompanying her in meeting the younger in their lunch breaks. They are currently seated in one of the tables at the coffee shop near Sooyoung's (and Joohyun's former) workplace while Seulgi stands in line at the counter to order for them. Sooyoung was surprised, of course she would, when she went out her work to see her unnie for the first time after she left, with someone—but she was more astonished at their meeting story Joohyun told her, (with a little bit of scolding when she also knew her unnie almost took her life).

 

"Four months ago. She's been good to me Sooyoung-ie, don't worry," Joohyun says as if she already knew what the younger girl will tell her. Sooyoung sighs and crosses her arms in front of her chest, not agreeing with her unnie's decision.

 

"I'm not sure with this, unnie," she lets out, giving the now ordering Seulgi another unsure look, making Joohyun slightly chuckle.

 

"Trust me with this one, Soo. Plus, right after I accepted her, we both got into the same job. I enjoy her company, and she's like a lucky charm," Joohyun states with a noticeable gleam in her eyes, a one Sooyoung haven't seen. Joohyun looks so happy with the red-haired girl, and Sooyoung just wanted her unnie to be happy.

 

"You like Seulgi, don't you?" Sooyoung suddenly asks, making Joohyun stop and choke on her saliva. She looks at Sooyoung to see if she was just joking but the younger's face remained stern, waiting for an answer from the older.

 

'Do I like her?' Joohyun repeats the question in her head. She never really dwelled with these kinds of feelings because they're just friends, right? They are each other's crying shoulder, comfort place. Was there something more than that?

 

"What do you mean?" was all Joohyun could answer the younger, knowing that she doesn't know the answer to that question herself. She has never thought of that possibility, and she would rather just not.

 

"I got us our orders!"

 

Seulgi's voice appearing from the side pulled the two girl's out of their tension, also saving Joohyun from the question of Sooyoung, the younger girl giving Joohyun the look of 'we're not finished yet' which the older quickly picked up. Seulgi sat beside Joohyun and placed the tray on top of their table, giving out each of the girls their respective drinks, Sooyoung not missing the way Seulgi arranged Joohyun's drink for her.

 

"What were you guys talking about?" Seulgi asks after arranging her own drink, taking a sip while looking at simultaneously at the girl beside her and in front of her. Joohyun flushes to think of a thing to answer the red-haired while Sooyoung just smiled at her, mixing her own beverage with the straw.

 

"Nothing much, just reminiscing work together and talking about our boss," Sooyoung scoffs making Seulgi laugh and Joohyun relieved, sending a 'thank you' to the younger using her eyes and she just nods.

 

"That's straightforward."

 

"Well, he deserves all the badmouth he could get."

 

Seulgi and Sooyoung talked about different things about each other and hobbies, the younger girl feeling more comfortable with the red-head but still holds a small doubt in her heart. Joohyun just watches the both of them chatter, joining the conversation here and there. She enjoys Seulgi's story and jokes though, and seeing how easy it is for Seulgi to make her Joohyun-unnie laugh, she knew she can't hinder the both of them.

 

"Thanks for walking me," Sooyoung says as they reach her workplace building, facing the two older girls. "It was nice talking and meeting you, Seulgi-unnie."

 

Seulgi smiles and nodded at the younger girl, "Same here. Let's hang out again sometimes."

 

"I'll take you up on that," Sooyoung answers and approaches Joohyun before hugging the older, surprising the latter. 

 

"I trust you unnie, but be careful okay? I love you," she whispers at her unnie's ears, making sure she was the only one who heard her. Joohyun just hugs back, nodding at what the girl told her.

 

"I will, I love you too my dongsaeng," she answers back as they releases each other from the hug, Sooyoung chuckling at what her unnie called her. With one last wave and goodbye at the two, Sooyoung finally enters the building, leaving the two out in the sidewalk.

 

"We should go too. Taeyeon-unnie might scold us if we're late at the resto," Seulgi says, offering her hand to Joohyun, which she gladly accepts. It was always like that when they're out; Joohyun clinging onto Seulgi or Seulgi offering her hand for her to hold, sometimes in between, and she always felt safe. Joohyun didn't think of their skinships that much, or she just didn't want to admit the butterflies she feels whenever they do.

 

And the question popped up in her head again, 'Do I like Seulgi?'

 

"Anyways, Hyun," Seulgi calls out as they started walking hand in hand down the sidewalk,  giving Joohyun a short look before looking straight ahead, as if suppressing what her mind tells her to say.

 

"What is it?" she asks, unconsciously tightening the hold on Seulgi's hand, as if a way to push the other girl to tell what's on her mind. And she did.

 

"Let's go out for dinner later," she finally says while keeping her eyes on the road, slightly swaying their clasped hands. 

 

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Joohyun asks out of impulse, making Seulgi look at her with a surprised look. She didn't miss to curse herself mentally when Seulgi gave her an amused smile which, nonetheless, made her heart flutter. 

 

"Well if you want it that way," she mutters, pulling their intertwined hands up. "It's a date."

 

And just like that, she felt her heart skipped because of Seulgi again.

 

●●●

 

"Good work today Joohyun!" 

 

Taeyeon, the owner of the restaurant Joohyun and Seulgi are currently working on, emerges from the door of the staff room, hands up as if she's worshiping the girl. Joohyun laughs at her entrance as she approaches her, the owner tapping her shoulder.

 

"I messed up earlier unnie," Joohyun says, removing her hairnet and letting her long black hair down, looking at her boss who's currently signing up their logbook, preparing to close the resto.

 

"That's just one mistake Joohyun. You did many good things today, focus on that," Taeyeon says seriously, looking up from the logbook for a second to give her employee a look, which Joohyun just nods to.

 

If there's a thing Joohyun really loves from her boss, it's how she treats her employees. She treats them like a friend or sibling and always wanted them to stay positive even though they messes up things, very opposite from her previous boss.

 

"All right unnie, you know I can't argue with you on that."

 

"You better not," Taeyeon says, closing off the logbook and looking back at Joohyun. "You and Seulgi can go now. Me and Tiff can close the resto."

 

Joohyun looks up from her bag and to Taeyeon, confusion obvious in her face. The owner, who noticed the look, laughed at her employee, "I heard the both of you have a date tonight." she explains in a teasing tone, the other girl blushing at what her boss said.

 

"That's not—"

 

"Nothing more," Taeyeon waves a dismissing hand on Joohyun, cutting off what she was supposed to say. "Enjoy, both of you." she ends and winks, leaving a blushing Joohyun at the room.

 

Just as Taeyeon left the quarters, the door opens again to reveal her date for tonight, wearing her usual beaming smile as she approaches Joohyun and helps her arrange her bag, immediately stealing it from Joohyun and swinging it on her shoulder. Joohyun didn't bother to protest, as she knew she would just end up losing to Seulgi.

 

"Let's go?" Seulgi once again offered her hand to Joohyun, and as always, she accepts it, intertwining her fingers with the other. 

 

Teasing smiles from their boss Taeyeon and manager Tiffany didn't go unnoticed by Joohyun, the latter just looked down at their hands and hid her face on Seulgi's shoulder as they exited the resto, Seulgi waving goodbye for the both of them. They walked down the street and towards their destination for tonight, a comfortable silence filling the atmosphere between them.

 

There was comfort, tranquility, and warmth. Joohyun couldn't ask for more.

 

They stop by a public food court just a few blocks away from their work, the place crowded with lovebirds and families, a small made up stage in the middle, and a band singing songs for everyone. Joohyun thinks if there's a special event, or it has always been like this here—well, it's her first time. And she's happy it's with Seulgi.

 

They stop at a table near the stage and Seulgi releases their clasped hands to pull out a chair for Joohyun, the other girl blushing at the red-haired action, but a small, happy smile is plastered on her lips as she sits on the chair. She admits, for the first time, that she's loving the butterflies she's feeling. She always has been.

 

"What do you want to eat? I'll order," Seulgi asks, setting their bags on one of the chairs opposite of Joohyun.

 

"Anything," Joohyun answers with a smile, and Seulgi mixes with the crowd as she went to order for the both of them.

 

Joohyun watches the crowd around her; unknown happy faces in every look she does. If she was the Joohyun three months ago, she would stand up here, leave, and just eat at the comfort of her home. She felt envious of the happiness of other people. But now she had her own; Seulgi.

 

She chuckles at the thought. She finally admits.

 

Seulgi made her feel things other people can't; she made her feel safe, secured, loved. No one could even make her laugh the same way Seulgi could, no one made her warm the same way Seulgi could, and she thinks if this is just pure admiration. Was it? She shakes her head. She's just happy with Seulgi beside her, and that's what matters.

 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

 

Joohyun flinches at the voice, calming down when she saw the familiar eye smile of the girl who terrorized her thoughts just minutes ago. Seulgi places the tray of food on top of their table, sitting across of Joohyun. She sat in front of Joohyun and hands her favorite food; tteokbokki and pork belly. She smiles at the food, and it made Seulgi smile too.

 

"That was nothing," Joohyun said, pulling the chopsticks apart, not missing the way Seulgi pouts in front of her.

 

"I want to know."

 

Joohyun finally looks at Seulgi—she wished she haven't. Pleading eyes and pouty lips were in play on the red-hair's face, and she swore she felt her chest thumped harder. There was those butterflies again. She just tried to ignore the begging face of the girl in front of her, but to no avail.

 

"Fine, fine. Stop that," Joohyun finally caves in, chuckling at Seulgi whose eyes now gleams at Joohyun. "I'm just thankful."

 

"For me?" Seulgi asks teasingly.

 

"Yeah," Joohyun answers, not sure where the sudden surge of courage is coming from.

 

For the first time, Joohyun saw Seulgi flustered; mouth agape, as if the words were stucked on . Joohyun stifles a laugh as she watches Seulgi, but completely losing it when she remained like that for a few more seconds.

 

"Hey," Seulgi calls at the still laughing Joohyun, pouting. "Stop making fun of me."

 

"I'm not," Joohyun says, laughter finally dying down. She wipes a tear that escaped her eyes for laughing too much, looking at the once again pouting Seulgi. "I'm serious. I'm thankful for you. Thank you for coming to my life, Seul."

 

There was warmth in both of their smiles, and even though Seulgi didn't answer, Joohyun knew, in how her eyes shone, that she is also thankful.

 

They enjoy their dinner like how they always do, with Joohyun stealing some of Seulgi's food every now and then and Seulgi acting like she's upset about it. Of course, Seulgi's jokes are present—they always been, and the both of them really didn't mind the looks other people are giving them for being too loud.

 

All they know is that they're happy, and that's what matters.

 

"Hyun, wait here," Seulgi says after minutes of just listening to people sing at the stage, standing up. Joohyun grabs her hand before she could go, eyes asking. "I'll be back, don't worry."

 

With that, Joohyun lets go of Seulgi's hands, watching her back as she slowly mixes in with the crowd again. Just like what Seulgi says, she waits, entertaining herself with questions like 'Is she gonna get me something?' and fiddling with Seulgi's handkerchief the latter used minutes ago to wipe her lips, and it brought another blush on her cheeks.

 

"Uhm, good evening everyone." A familiar voice booms from the speakers seated in the stage along with a wave of cheer from the crowd. Joohyun lifts up her head towards the stage and she saw the same red-haired girl, arranging the mic in her grip.

 

Seulgi's eyes searches for a specific someone; and when her orbs met Joohyun's, she smiles. "So, I will be singing for all of you tonight," Seulgi starts, still holding the eye contact with Joohyun, who still looks to be astonished. "But this song is dedicated to someone special to me. She holds a big part of my heart, I hope you know that."

 

The crowd cheers loudly at Seulgi's words, the people around Joohyun's table looking at her and cheering her on. But the world seems to not exist as they look at each other's eyes, sharing the same flame, as if their eyes spoke to each other.

 

Seulgi doesn't break their stare as the band started to play the melody of the song, even after she started singing. Joohyun did the same; she held Seulgi's eyes in her own, like it was hers.

 

[Song: Sleep Tonight by December Avenue]

 

"Tell your goodnight to the light and close your eyes, there's a better place for you than to stay awake,"

 

In every word that comes out of Seulgi's mouth, Joohyun felt her heart skipped, the butterflies on her stomach was in disarray—but in a good way.

 

"You'll get closer to a paradise of dreamers in love, you'll get better like heaven has done something,"

 

She already had Seulgi sing for her a lot of times in their home—whenever she can't sleep or just wanted to hear her sing. But seeing Seulgi sing for her in front of a large crowd? It hits different.

 

"So lay now, I'll take over the night, there's no teardrop. You can count on me tonight, or I'll stay up with you,"

 

Seulgi hops off the stage, walking towards Joohyun with their eyes still locked on each other. By this time, the crowd has already went wild, cheering them on as Seulgi stops in front of Joohyun to hold her hand, pulling her up as she slowly sticks their forehead together, burning eyes still staring at each other, reflecting their emotions.

 

"Baby it's alright, I'll be right by your side, no need to cry out loud, nothing to cry about,"

 

Joohyun never felt this happy for meeting someone, she thanks God for letting her meet Seulgi.

 

"Baby it's alright, I'll be just by your side I'll keep you on my sight, I'll never leave 'til you sleep tonight."

 

Joohyun couldn't hide the smile on her lips after Seulgi finished singing, looking a bit pale, as their eyes still locked as well as their foreheads, Seulgi bringing the mic down and placing it on the table near her. Using her hands, she cupped Joohyun's face. Slowly, but softly, Seulgi kisses Joohyun in her forehead. No words were exchanged as the crowd continued cheering the two, the realization hitting Joohyun hard, as she gets shy and hides her face by burying it on the taller's neck, Seulgi chuckling at the action.

 

"Let's go home," Seulgi says softly on Joohyun's ear, almost coming off as a whisper. The latter just nods before Seulgi grabs their bags off the chair and pulling Joohyun out of the place, holding her hand tight.

 

The walk to their house was quiet, the sounds of cars and their steps the only things audible. But still, there was warmth. There was comfort. There were smiles. They got each other.

 

Opening the lights to their home, Seulgi places their bags on the couch. Joohyun suddenly lets go of Seulgi's hand, running off towards her room. There was a knock on the door before Seulgi could immediately follow, opening the door to see who was outside.

 

Meanwhile, Joohyun was a blushing mess in the room—rolling up like a ball as she reminisces the events happened just minutes ago. Seulgi always surprises her, but this was way different. But no matter how happy she was earlier, she can't help to over think, scary thoughts flooded her mind, but she tries to brush it off.

 

Seulgi opens the door to her room, seeing the girl curled up in her bed, back facing the door. She chuckles at her cute position before sitting beside her, pulling the girl so that she would face her.

 

"Did you mean what you did earlier?" Joohyun asks as soon as she faces the red-head, confirming if it's true. Pleading eyes were displayed on her gorgeous face as she looks at Seulgi, in a slight pout. Seulgi could stare at her forever, if God would allow.

 

"Of course," she answers despite the fatigue creeping up on her, bringing her hand up to cup Joohyun's cheek, her thumb rubbing the delicate skin, "I meant everything I did and said earlier."

 

Joohyun was already lost on Seulgi's eyes, clearly under the spell the latter casted her into. The thumping of her heart doubled as she felt how Seulgi closes more of their distance, nose practically touching.

 

'How can you make me feel so crazy?'

 

She want to talk so bad, but the words seems to get stuck on as Seulgi keeps getting closer, the butterflies she's feeling gets more erratic.

 

"I love you, Hyun."

 

Seulgi finally closes the remaining distance between them, lips molding together as if it's the perfect match, both of them closing their eyes as they both falls deeper in the kiss. Joohyun wraps her arms on Seulgi's neck, the latter gripping Joohyun on her waist, eliminating any space left between them—if there was any more left. In every movement of their lips says every unsaid words in their heart. Every bottled feeling.

 

As Seulgi lays Joohyun down on the bed, Joohyun finally came up with an answer to a question that's been bugging her for some time now.

 

"I love you too, Seul."

 

Joohyun wakes up with a smile on her lips, the warm comfort of the bed and blanket they shared last night enveloped her body, the morning sun peeking from the open window outside. She looks over her side to see it empty, a note safely placed on top of the dresser catches her sight.

 

Grabbing a shirt from the floor, she quickly wears it before standing up and grabbing the note hastily, a ring falling as she did so, making a small thud. She reaches for it at the floor, examining the band in her hands. It was almost unnoticeable, but at the inside of the ring, the words 'Always with you' engraved on them. Joohyun's eyes snaps to the note, a slightly messy handwriting is printed on the paper with the words: 'I love you always, Hyun.'

 

Standing up fast, she bolts out the room to see the living room empty; even the kitchen, the comfort room, all corners of the house. There were no signs of Seulgi. She thinks that she just went out for some walk or personal errand—which the red-haired girl barely do without her—but she waits. She just waits.

 

But Seulgi didn't came back that morning, even in the evening later. Even the day after, and the day after that. Joohyun asks Taeyeon and Sooyoung, went to the places she thinks Seulgi might go to, but all her efforts were in vain.

 

The terrifying thoughts in her mind finally occured.

 

She was gone.

 

●●●

 

"Call me when you need me, unnie."

 

It's been a month and a half. There were still no news of Seulgi, nothing. Joohyun was miserable, she would be, and Sooyoung was the one who always visited her when she heard of what happened, hatred creeping up on her for Seulgi, kind of regretting she trusted the girl.

 

Joohyun, on the other hand, is balled in her couch; arms wrapped on her legs as her hand holds the ring tight and her head resting on her knees, a blanket draped over her shoulders, tears still falling down her cheeks, suppressing her sobs until Sooyoung finally exits her house, releasing the pain through her cries.

 

She wanted to hate Seulgi really bad, but everytime her smile passes by her thoughts, her love for the other overwhelms her want to hate her, but the pain is above anything else she was feeling.

 

Sometimes it's not the butterflies that tells you you were in love, but the pain.

 

A knock on the door the door stops Joohyun from her crying. Sooyoung just left, and she wasn't really expecting someone else; aside from one person.

 

She hurriedly stands up from the couch, not even bothering to wipe her tear-stained face as she swings the door open, expecting to see a red-haired girl. But instead, a blonde girl shorter than her by a few inches greets her with a small smile in her lips, eyes a bit red as if she just went crying too. Just like her.

 

"Joohyun, right?" the blonde asks, offering up a hand to a dumbfounded Joohyun, "I'm Seungwan."

 

Joohyun looks at her skeptically, nonetheless accepting the girl's hand. Using the sleeve of her sweater, she wipes her face, motioning for the girl to come inside, but she just shook her head.

 

"Have we met?"

 

The blonde shook her head again, looking down at her feet, "First time meeting you," Seungwan answers, looking up to stare at Joohyun's eyes, tears started the sides, "I'm Seulgi's best friend."

 

Joohyun's ears ring at the mention of the name, her hand tightens the hold on the door frame as her look hardens on the girl, her heart clenches at Seulgi's name.

 

"Where is she?" she chokes out the words, swallowing the urge to let the tears fall.

 

"I'll accompany you to her," Seungwan says, stepping back once to let Joohyun out of the door. "We don't have much time left."

 

"What do you mean?" Joohyun asks nervously as she steps out her house, closing the door behind her.

 

"She's dying," it was Seungwan's turn to push back the tears, she smiles sadly at Johyun, who was taken aback at what she said, a tear escaping her eyes, "Seulgi's dying."

 

And once again, her heart breaks because of Seulgi.

 

●●●

 

Joohyun stares at the hospital door, Seulgi's room.

 

After hearing Seulgi's condition from Seungwan, she can't help but to cry. She can't believe she missed the signs, she can't believe she accepted Seulgi's 'I'm fine' even though she looked not.

 

Seungwan told her the story of how Seulgi ran away from them after hearing her condition, the same night she came across with Joohyun, and the blonde finally finding her after the whole fiasco at the food court, following the both of them before convincing Seulgi to come back.

 

But what hurt her the most is her words, according to Seungwan, "Give me one last night with my love."

 

Joohyun didn't care to stop the tears flowing down her cheeks anymore. She let's the grief take over, and also Seulgi's smile. The smile that always made her safe, made her warm.

 

She stands up as Seungwan finally emerges from the door, puffy eyes visible under her golder fringe. She approaches Joohyun and without a word, envelopes her in a tight hug, crying in her shoulder. Joohyun stiffs, but hugs her back still.

 

"Thank you for making Seulgi happy."

 

The blondes sobbing words brought another batch of tears to fall on Joohyun's cheek, the latter just nodding, unable to say a word because of how heavy she's feeling. Seungwan released her, wiping her tear-stained face.

 

It was her turn to see her.

 

Joohyun slowly opens the door to her room, the smell of disinfectant immediately flooding her nostrils. But what caught her eye is the person lying down on the bed, an IV fluid attached to her arm, her bald head that was once covered by a red wig is now covered by a bonnet, her eyes that once held the stars almost not open as it watches Joohyun approach her. It made her heart clench.

 

"Seul,"

 

Joohyun calls out, unable to say any more words as she finally breaks down beside Seulgi's bed, holding the girl's fragile hand with care, clutching it to her chest, as if making her feel how her heart beats for her; but also how it breaks for her.

 

"Hyun," she cried more at the girl's weak voice, but Seulgi mustered up her strength to flash the same smile Joohyun loved, and it brought a harder throb in her chest.

 

"R-run away w-with me, H-hyun," Seulgi calls out, pushing herself to stand up, grabbing on Joohyun's arm as Joohyun supported her. She wanted to protest on what Seulgi wanted to do, but she wanted more to give her the happiness Seulgi once gave her when she entered her life.

 

"Where?" she finally speaks out, Seulgi's legs now on the edge of the bed, ready to stand.

 

"Anywhere, with you,"

 

So, sneaking out of the hospital—with the help of Seungwan, who didn't agree with it at first, they ended up at a bench overseeing the Han bridge and its river, the place where they first met. Where destiny let them meet, even just for a short time.

 

Seulgi's head rests on Joohyun's shoulder, the latter's arm wrapped around Seulgi, one of her hands hold the other's fragile ones, comfortable silence enveloping the both of them, Seungwan not too far away to watch them both, as they watch the sunset from the bench, hoping it would last.

 

"Y-you wore it,"

 

Seulgi says weakly as she runs her thumb to Joohyun's ring finger, where the band she left rests, tears started stinging her eyes, and so does Joohyun.

 

"Of course," she whispers, watching the girl's thumb rub the ring, holding her hand tighter. "It has 'Always with You' engraved. It felt like you were with me everytime."

 

"G-good thing," Seulgi sighs, still weakly, her head starting to get heavier on Joohyun's shoulder. "H-hyun, I'm s-sleepy."

 

Joohyun stops the urge to sob, forcing a smile on her lips but her eyes betrays her, a single tear started flowing down her cheeks freely, "Do you want me to sing you a song?"

 

Losing all the energy to speak, Seulgi just nods, signaling Joohyun to start singing. This is the first time Seulgi will hear her sing—and probably the last, but she was happy. And the song of her choice? The second verse of the song Seulgi sang at her in the food court.

 

It marked the start of their love, and Joohyun wants it to end with the second half.

 

"I'll cover you with my arms and hold you tight, I'll be listening to your wonderful and calm little voice,"

 

Singing the first line, Joohyun wraps both of her arms carefully around Seulgi, the latter fighting the urge to close her eyes to watch the love of her life sing for her, smiling, realizing the lyrics of the song. Joohyun smiles too, but her heart cries.

"I'll keep watching 'til my eyes burn down,"

 

She looks at Seulgi, memorizing every curve of her face, every feature, engraving her image—her smiling face into her mind, to her heart.

 

"Baby it's alright, I'll be right by your side. No need to cry out loud, nothing to cry about,"

 

Seulgi's eyelids started getting heavy, the image of the girl hugging her getting blurry and blurry as she slowly succumbs to eternal sleep. The short but full "I love you," escaping her lips. There was no pain in her voice, and Joohyun knew she finally met peace.

"Baby it's alright, I'll be just by your side. I'll keep you on my sight, I'll never leave 'til you sleep tonight."

 

Kissing the now sleeping Seulgi's forehead, she finally lets the tears flow out her eyes, hugging Seulgi's still warm body tight.

 

And as Seulgi's heart stopped beating, Joohyun whispers to her the completion of their unspoken promise.

 

"I love you too."

 

- e n d -