Have you ever love someone to the point where you can sacrifice everything you have just to see her happy, sacrifice even your own happiness?

I love someone since middle school, she’s the epitome of a kind and smart student. She is good in everything. She is good at sports and she can sing, dance, write a poem, make someone fall without doing something, and lastly she can make my heart race just by looking in my eyes.

I know this road I’m walking is dangerous but for her I will take the risk.

I saw her in the stage emceeing for the school festival. She is really beautiful with the white dress she’s wearing. The male emcee and her complement each other which makes me imagine if we can have that moment in life. School festival has been hectic for all of the students but when I saw her she still has that bright and sunny smile in her face. She greeted everyone on her way. Even me.

One day one of our common friend introduce us to each other. It is awkward at first since I don’t know how to act in front of her. Call me whip and I will accept that.

We didn’t click in the first month of our so called friendship since we are the opposite of each other but one time see saw me having a hard time solving a math problem in the library and she offered some help, I’m reluctant to accept the offer but I also want to go home and rest.

She thought me ways to solve math problems in an easy way, her help is very much appreciated since I completed my math assignment and ace the quiz. From then on she became my math tutor and we slowly built a friendship that will hopefully last.

“Wendy” I keep on repeating to call her name. Is this called hopeless romantic? I want her but I can’t have her. I’m the type of person where when I love someone I will just watch them and not do anything because watching her makes me happy and confessing might break my heart with the thought of her not reciprocating of my feelings.

I tried to keep my feelings in check when we are together. But my friends always tell me I’m obvious with my feelings it’s just Wendy is oblivious.

Wendy became my bestfriend over the years but I wish we were more than that. Many people have tried to win my heart but none of them succeeded because my heart is not mine in the first place, my heart belongs to Wendy.

“Unnie should we stroll again the weather is good today”

She’s been roaming in my apartment again to distract me.

“But I’m lazy can we just stay here and watch a movie”

Is it wrong if I want to stay here and not share her to the world? Such a selfish thing to do.

As we enter adulthood life we took different courses. I took psychology because I want to know how people think and to study them to help them cope up with the feelings they can’t figure out by themselves. It’s funny how I took this course with you in my mind. I want to know you better than yourself. I want to be the one who can act quickly if something is wrong.

You took architecture because you want to design my dream house as your mission. But my dream is you. Being with you already fulfill your mission. But you didn’t need to know that.

We become busy with the demand of our courses and barely see each other unlike when we are in high school. We bump with each other in the hallway and eat lunch together but it’s not enough I still miss you.

My friends told me to confess already but I’m a coward Wendy I can’t even fight to have you.

I already gave up to a fight that has not yet begun. When I saw you hanging up with someone that is not me. When I saw you smile and laugh to someone who is not me. When I saw you being happy without me.

My only mistake in loving you is making you my world because how can I move on without having my own world revolving since you left.

We still hang out but it’s not the same.

“Unnie I met someone she’s my classmate she asks for a date should I accept it?”

“Is that the one you always with?”

“Oh yeah, I actually didn’t expect her to have feelings for me”

“Well if you want to why not give it a chance”

I’m a psychology student I should have expected this scenario to happen but why does it still hurt? My block mate Jennie suggested that I should move on from this one sided love. But how?

Jennie started to introduce men and women to me. At first I refused because I don’t want to use someone just to move on. But one time a lady piques my interest her name is Seulgi. She is funny and have a bear face the way she treats me kinda feels like Wendy. I tried not to compare the two and forget Wendy just for a day.

The two of us click in an instant. I’ve been going out more and be with Seulgi since Wendy is busy with school and with the girl she’s always been with.

Seulgi is a café-mania we almost visited all of the café around, be it cat-café, dog-café, she tried to minimize animal friendly café since I’m scared of animals. My favorite café is the one with the dark brown pastel café. Not many customers are here and the music are calming, this is my safe haven even though I don’t drink coffee I like the smell of the roasted coffee illuminating the place.

Seulgi and I got closer but my feelings for her is just sisterly-friend. I tried to open my heart to her but I just don’t feel anything more than that. We agreed to stay being friends. We still hang out when we have time and go café hunting. She became my precious dongseang. There is a time when we are making a bet and she said I should confess to Wendy and she would do anything in return.

“If I confessed and got my heart broken you will take me to a healing camp then buy me a lots of ice cream and we will go to beach when it rains because I want to experience walking there while raining”

“Wow such a demanding person you are but sure I will support you because I feel like Wendy will reciprocate your feelings. If and she return your feelings, you are obliged to treat me in eat-all-you-can”

Such a bear thing to do, always hungry.

I texted Wendy the next day I’m nervous as hell because after all these years I will finally confess my feelings to her. We met in our favorite spot in the park where the big oak tree is standing and the witness of the years Wendy and I are together.

“So unnie got some news that’s why you ask me here?”

Gosh confessing is such a nerve wrecking.

“Uhmmm yeah? Kinda? I need to tell you something”

“oh really? I also need to tell you something unnie but you should go first”

“Wendy I love you. I love since middle school when you were singing in the stage. I love you since you help me with the math problem. I love you since you always stay beside me” I look at her in the eyes and said “I love you before and until now”

“unnie” you said while looking down and from that action I know it will never turn out to be good such an advantage to a psychology student. “Unnie” and finally you look at me in the eyes. “Unnie if you only confess early maybe we can be together" you paused and continued to say. 

"Unnie I’m with Joy now we’re in a relationship that’s the news I want to tell you”

“Unnie did you know that I liked you too in middle school. Did you know that I loved you and over the years I always choose you.” You were crying. I’m late to confess maybe if I’m not a coward we can be more than this.

“Unnie I tried confessing but when I saw you at the café with someone and you are laughing with her I lost my confidence. Maybe we are not destined in this time unnie”

“Maybe in our another lifetime we are destined to be with each other. You were a good dream unnie. The dream I never want to wake up but reality is such a huh.”

I’m crying and blaming myself if only we are not a coward and scared maybe we are happy now. You hug me and patted my back. This secret that I kept become a regret in my life.

Wendy’s POV

I’m emceeing for the school festival and many people came and when I looked at the crowd I saw someone. She’s wearing a casual shirt but her beautify is striking. I learned that one of my friend is also close to her I asked my friend to introduce us to each other.

We’re awkward in the start but I want to be close to her so when I saw her struggling in her math I offered some help and that’s the start of our friendship.

I always stay by her side and disturbed her. One time I was at her apartment I asked if she want to go outside since the weather is nice but she refused it and told me she wants to watch a movie. While watching she leaned her head in my shoulder and at that time I’m having a hard time calming my beating heart.

It’s such a surprised for me that you chose psychology since I know your always into fashion designing. When I told you what course I took I promised you I will build your dream house. Hopefully I am in that dream house because I want to live with you forever.

I tried confessing many times but the timing is always off. First time I tried, I bought flowers and chocolate such a cliché moves but when I saw you someone is also confessing with a grand gesture he brought a branded necklace and a bouquet, I told myself maybe not today.

Second, I planned in serenading you in our campus. Everything has been planned and all you need to do is walk here. But you texted me saying your mom need you to go home immediately. I told myself again maybe not today.

Joy has been with me all the way she cheered for me in confessing to you. Joy saw me when I’m down whenever I see someone confessing to you how I wish I can do the same thing.

Before I planned my third plan in confessing Joy told me she like me and ask me to have a date.

I asked for your opinion unnie but you said I should give it a try. Did you know I cried after that?

This is the third try, they say third time’s the charm but I saw at the café with someone and you look happy and contented. You were laughing so hard with your companion. And I told myself maybe not in this lifetime.

I decided to give Joy and I a chance. I agreed to be her girlfriend and since we got together I’ve been happy and my time of thinking of you has lessened. Maybe Joy is the one.

You texted me saying you have something to tell me. I went to our place and saw you sitting in the bench while swinging your feet back and forth.

You told me you love me since middle school until now but unnie did you know I loved you back? But I’m with Joy now and finally I’m experiencing the happiness I never felt before.

Maybe we are not destined in this lifetime. But I will always love you unnie.