note: this might be triggering for some

Yujin never liked moving from cities to another but due to her father’s job, they needed to. Her father promised her that this will be their last, however Yujin knows well that it’s not.

The girl only in a young age of 7, already lived in a total of 5 different cities. Staying only for a year or two. It’s not that she likes staying nor she wanted to but she really hates moving as it means packing bunch of stuffs only to be moved by the nearby place.

It’s a tiring process but the young girl is already used to it.

She doesn’t mind now.

Not until she saw their neighbor.

Jang Family. The family right beside their new house.

There, she saw a young girl, presumably at age of 6, playing in their backyard. The kid looks so cute in her floral dress, acting like a princess in her own castle. Throwing flower petals, and wearing a small crown perfect for her little head.

The sight brought a big smile to the other kiddo. Like a puppy being unleashed, Yujin came running to the said backyard but to no avail, her mom caught her.

“Next time, okay?,” Yuj just nod, heads now facing the ground.

Yujin was all alone throughout the 7 years of her life. Though she feels her parents are enough, longing for friends in her age has not left her heart.

Hence, upon seeing the sight of the younger one, she felt a ray of light beaming on her dark room.

I want to be your friend. NO, we'll be friends for sure :).

Days after, both family shared a dinner in Mr. and Mrs. Ahn’s abode. Finally knowing the new family they’ll be living with.

The families seem to click well causing a new friendship within both, especially with the kids.

The youngsters already finished their meals. Both of them excitedly went to the living room to do what little kiddos do.

Popping every joint of her body, twisting her neck and even making the black part of her eyes disappear. Yujin surely imitated a zombie.

She expected the younger to look at her in shock and to scream out of fear. However, what she heard is just a song of laughter.

Wonyoung did try to act but just a second through it, she wheezed and just gave up on containing.

Now laughing her stomach out, moving around. Slapping anything she’s closed to. Almost tearing up because of the sight.

Yujin stood, both hands on the waist, acting all might and tough, "Yah, Jang Wonyoung! Stop!!"

And yet again, the younger wheezed.

Couldn't believe how hilarious she is seeing, she keeps on rolling while holding her stomach. Overjoyed, Wonyoung didn't notice the sofa behind her and thug. Head scores 3-points, right in the hard part of the sofa

Witnessing the unplanned skit, it’s the older’s time to sing her laughter. Throwing the plushies she’s currently holding, hands now on aching stomach, she couldn't stop laughing.

The small kids' laughter echoed across the house. Their parents' faces brightening up upon hearing the endearing songs.

And so, they had their best night and became each other's best friends.

However, somewhere along the way, the older developed feelings towards the younger.

Feelings she, herself, doesn’t have any idea how to define. Feelings she couldn’t just brushed off. Feelings constantly growing making it hard to contain. Feelings couldn’t wait to show its beautiful colors.

And,

Feelings that might ruin something precious. Feelings that can crush someone’s heart.

Scared of ruining their friendship, the older tried ignoring what she feels.

Yet, whenever the younger’s around, the butterflies keep on flying and circulatory organs acting abnormally sending more blood into her cheeks making it redder than usual.

She tried pushing the younger away, only to receive the consequence of pain.

Realizing she can’t do anything but to just accept and hide, Yujin sighed. She’s not good in hiding feelings let alone the overwhelming feeling of ‘love’.

08.31.19

“Wonyoung-ah!! Happy birthdayy,” Yujin greeted as she handed a human-size bear.

“Wooahh!! Unnie! Thank youu,” Wonyoung said as she immediately hug the said bear.

Yujin just stood there, eyes forming crescent, watching the younger burying her face through the bear.

Hug me next year, Won.

08.31.20

"Wonyoung, I like you." Yujin said, finally laying out what she have been feeling. She couldn’t bear the weight of these feeling anymore.

Laying it out not knowing what the response and reaction will be is surely a gamble but love is all about that, don’t you think so?

It’s all about taking risk. And I decided to try my luck.

Clock stikes 12:00. It’s Wonyoung special day, the exact day a beautiful toddler was born causing real and genuine smiles to plaster over her parents’ face.

And.. I might ruin this special day of hers..

It’s been 5 minutes since Yujin confessed, but no voice have been heard ever since. Silence and pure silence echoing the room.

Not the comfortable silence they used to share, but more like a painful one. Almost like some chemical. Blocking their nose, hunting their lungs, making it hard for both to breathe— or only for Yujin.

It’s suffocating. I.. didn’t knew it would turn out like this..

Yujin felt the need to hold on something, she held on the bencher’s arm. Losing both balance and sanity.

Her emotions now eating her up. Falling in her own grave, she can’t help but internally curse and laugh at herself.

Now, the pain is fully consuming Yujin. Feeling her eyes hotten, on the verge of crying, she clenched her hands forming a solid fist.

She now need to leave, unless, she wants the younger to see herself breaking down. Unless she wanted the younger to see the messy phase of the now wrecked pup.

Opening , wanting the word ‘goodbye’ to slip out but to no avail, only air escaped.

Trying again, now feeling knives stabbing her stomach, suppresing what she currently feel, she managed to say: “You don’t have to answer. Sorry, I have to go. Happy birthday, Won,” with a smile.

The moment she left Wonyoung’s house, everything falls out smoothly like liquids in waterfall.

Crying her eyes out as daggers pierced her now bleeding heart. Lmao, I didn’t know losing in a gamble would be this painful.

She feel her heart almost ripping. Couldn’t do anything but only to cry out of pain.

Something is twisting her now wrecked heart, she lets out a scream.

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